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San Francisco Zoo Has Just the Thing For Spurned Lovers on Valentine's Day

The San Francisco Zoo is running what they call a Valentine's Day special: the adoption of a Madagascar hissing cockroach or a giant hairy scorpion. Why? To honor your ex, of course.

A zoo donation of $25 will not only aid conservation efforts for the species you select, but it also pays for an adoption certificate with the name of your ex on it, along with a small plush scorpion or several plastic cockroaches in "a cute little red box." Just the thing for sending to your former love interest cum creepy crawler! The zoo's website describes the scorpion adoption as follows, 

"So the latest affair didn't work out and given your ex's record-breaking ability to move on, you suspect foul play. Well, nothing soothes the sting like the adoption of a giant hairy scorpion in honor of your former beloved. It's no surprise, these invertebrates are aggressive, active, and alarmingly nocturnal. Much like your low-life ex, they are usually found in and around low-elevation valleys where they dig elaborate burrows or "caves." Also just like you-know-who, when a suitable victim wanders by, the scorpion grabs the doomed creature with its pinchers and stings the prey. After the prey is immobilized, the scorpion tears the carcass apart with its pinchers and begins feeding. Charming... We can't make any promises, but urban legend says that the gift of a scorpion adoption serves as permanent protection against future romantic stings. Let the healing begin."

The cockroach copy is scarily similar. Adopt-a-roach, see additional pictures and more at the San Francisco Zoo website.

Image: San Francisco Zoo 

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