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Craigslist Ad: Man Will Pretend to Be Your Horrible Boyfriend in Order to Torment Your Family

I missed this wonderful news story from a few days ago and some ladies missed a great opportunity. Nick Schimdt of Nashville, Tennessee placed an ad on Craigslist, offering to be some woman's Thanksgiving dinner date. Schmidt, a convicted felon and high school dropout, was prepared to pretend to be someone's boyfriend during Thanksgiving dinner:

I am a 28 year old felon with no high school degree, and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen's guitar. I can play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on if i shave. I'm a line cook and work late nights at a bar. If you'd like to have me as your stictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I'm game.

In exchange for a free dinner, he would also:

  • talk about politics and religion
  • openly hit on other female guests
  • pretend to get really drunk
  • start a fistfight with a member of your family on the front lawn in full view of the neighbors

Prior to Thanksgiving, he told a reporter that he had secured a date. Schmidt promised to live-tweet the date, but the results of that date are unclear in his Twitter timeline.

It's now too late to have Thanksgiving dinner with Schmidt, but you can make use of his other services.

-via Tastefully Offensive


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