You Can Live to 100. There's Just One Catch...

Thomas Kirkwood writes in Scientific American about why women live longer than men. Fellas, the good news is that you might be able to increase your lifespan by fourteen years. The, uh, bad news:

As many dog and cat owners can attest, neutered male animals often live longer than their intact counterparts. Indeed, the evidence supports the notion that male castration might be the ticket to a longer life.

Might the same be true of humans?[...]

The historical record is not good enough to determine if eunuchs tend to outlive normal healthy men, but some sad records suggest that they do. A number of years ago castration of men in institutions for the mentally disturbed was surprisingly commonplace. In one study of several hundred men at an unnamed institution in Kansas, the castrated men were found to live on average 14 years longer than their uncastrated fellows.

Link via Glenn Reynolds | Photo: NIH

So we are not ready to decrease our testosterone levels to live longer. Are we ready to die younger in exchange for higher testosterone? Be a big man, and die at 40!
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Now, it seems that there's a female version of this as well. Women go through menopause and live much longer than they would have otherwise, even correcting for the danger of bearing more children.

Luckily, we don't have to have parts cut off to give up those dangerous hormones.
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The author is looking at the wrong historical records. Ages of ancient eunuchs might be hazy, but there was a time not so long ago where it was standard practice to castrate mental patients to make them easier to deal with these permanent residents of asylums. These records confirm the theory that castration is the easiest way to extend one's life for a variety of reasons.
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...How about this deal: One testicle to buy back 7 of the years I'll lose to smoking.

Actually, you know what? Screw it. I'd consider it if it would somehow inject 14 more years into my 20's and 30's, but those 14 you're talking about are tacked onto the end.

That's like paying extra for a version of a movie with longer credits.

No thanks.
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This is sort of like the whole "ultra-low calorie" diet thing in order to extend life. Sure, cellular metabolism/division might be slowed enough to add 15 years to your life, but at 700 calories a day? Gonna venture a guess and say it's not worth it for most people. Given that proponents of the diet say that they're always hungry I'll take a pass on it (just like I'd take a pass on this one if I were a dude).
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If there were hard evidence to support this, it sounds like a great deal; but I'd need a lot of convincing (and to have had all the kids I was planning on) before I put my jewels on the chopping block.
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Miss Cellania, if you allow a female cat to sexually mature before you sterilize her, then she is subject to the same hormonal type ailments humans do - menopause, uterine and breast cancer.
That's why you need to sterilize the cats BEFORE they reach their sexual maturity.

I'd be curious how would the early sterilization affect the human females.
I would have been more than glad to donate my parts even before puberty.
My wild guess is that the female hormones DON'T protect against e.g. osteoporosis - no children and very few men ever get that disease. And not to talk about any cancers where the hormones play a role.
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In addition, the bacteria on the teeth can cause heart disease, best to remove the teeth as well. I can't wait to be a 100 year old man with no tongue, teeth or balls. O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
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