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Sleeping In Separate Beds May Help Marriages

A new study shows that sleeping in separate beds can help your health and your relationship. Dr. Neil Stanley, a sleep researcher, believes that by not sharing a bed with your partner you may be decreasing the risks of divorce, heart problems, stroke and suicidal behavior.
"Intimacy is important for emotional health. But good sleep is important for physical, emotional and mental health."

What do you guys think? Would you sleep away from your love so you can actually improve your sleep?


Hubby and I switched from a full size bed (the two of us and a cat do not a comfortable sleeping arrangement make on a full size bed) to a king and I am quite pleased! I think the king offers the convenience of being able to cuddle or enjoy a rambunctious bout of marital union while giving us each the opportunity to sleep far enough away from each other that we don't bother the other one.
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I don't think there would be a problem if the bed was large enough.
Right now, my husband and I sleep on a Queen size and we're eventually going to upgrade to a king. Both of us plus a dog... it gets a bit crowded atm.
Like Grace said, we'll still be able to cuddle and do some spontaneous x-rated things, but still have our own sleeping space.
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I tend to only actually sleep through the night on the nights my girlfriend and I spend together. But you know, we're not married and don't sleep together every night.
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I'd have to sleep in the same bed as my spouse, it's just so comforting to know he's right there.

My parents, OTOH, have been married over 40 years, and they sleep in separate beds (they didn't always).
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I already have heart problems and I'm not the kind of person to kill myself, plus I literally can not sleep comfortably without another body in the bed.
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A few years into our marriage we bought a California King motionless Pillow Top Water Bed. It's the size of Ohare airport! I have to say, it is a solid good night sleep. If we ever have to stay at a hotel, we complain every morning for one of us stealing the covers, or smacking the other in the

So I believe this article. Good Night sleep is important. But if you have the room, get a california King.
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In the seven years I have been with my wife, we have never had sleeping problems. We are both heavy sleepers but wake up to the alarm somehow. We both sleep better if we are in the same bed.
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I like this because I grew up with my parents sleeping in separate rooms because of my dad's horrible snoring. Now I live with my boyfriend in a 2 bedroom house and he thinks it's weird and cold that I like having my own room :-(
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I was going to advocate sleeping in separate homes would work better but I think Tim is on to something with the separate states.

John, I have the same problem. I I can’t sleep well if your wife isn’t beside me.

Wait, what?
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Separate rooms all the way! He likes it hot and stuffy in the room and is a very light sleeper. He also likes dead silence. I prefer a cool, breezy room with white noise and am a heavy sleeper. There just doesn't seem to be a good compromise.
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@Carl: LOL! "alligtor death spiral"

I've never been happier than when we got a king sized bed. Plenty of room for spreading out and not touching during sleep.
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Carl- ROFL.... my husband does that to me ALL the freaking time! I often wake up shivering w/ the edge of a sheet on my hand and that's it, while he's all snuggled in the blanket (w/ the dog firmly snugged up next to him).
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this seems likely to happen when I live with my boyfriend. He loves to have the TV on and I like silence, so I can only guess one of us will be sleeping elsewhere when the time comes. But still, it's all good.
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Neither of us sleep well on our own, but we found on our first night twenty-something years ago that the one thing we can't do is share a duvet.

We have a king-size bed with two double duvets. Not only does it mean I can have a cooler one that Squid does, but also you can wrap yourself up like a sausage and not steal the other's duvet.
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There comes a time in marriage, I guess it actually comes with age, when sleep becomes just as important as intimacy. Because of different work schedules I go to bed much earlier than my wife. I like having a fan both to circulate the air and for the white noise effect, my wife hates it. I'm a light sleeper, nothing disturbs her. Even on the weekends, she's a real night owl and I'm an early to bed early to rise person. All this led to seperate bedrooms and now we both get the sleep we need. So yeah, I see what the articles author is saying. We have less stress now because we understand that not sleeping in the same bed has nothing to do with our love and devotion to one another.
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My husband and I sleep in the same bed, but on different shifts. I work days and he works nights, so he goes to bed as I'm getting up. It actually works out quite well for us, except that it gets tricky when we go on vacation together.
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I wouldn't be at all happy if my partner preferred sleeping alone. if this croppped up early in a relationship I would take it as a sure sign that the relationship wouldn't last.

I've been with my partner for 11 years and we sleep far better together than seperately. Only exception is when one of us is sick and can't sleep in which case one of use will sleep in the spare room.
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Billy Joel had this to say about the subject:

They will tell you, you can't sleep alone in a strange place
Then they'll tell you, you can't sleep with somebody else
Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space
Either way it's okay to wake up with yourself
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I can see this working, but what happens when one of the two partners believes this will help, and the other partner believes this will not? Like what GQ said about seeing it as a sign the relationship was failing, what if her partner didn't see it that way?
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A larger bed doesn't do much good if your spouse is a snorer (mine is). We're also not always on the same sleep cycle, so sometimes we're in there at the same time, sometimes not, and it's far from unheard of for one of us to migrate to the couch if one can't settle down (such as when one has a bad cold and is snoring a lot or arthritis is making it difficult for one to find a comfortable position) and is disturbing the other.

We did find a partial solution to blanket-stealing. On a double/full size bed, we use the correct size bottom fitted sheet, but have queen-size top flat sheet and blanket so there's more width of covers available, which did help. We can usually arrive at mutually acceptable temperature, sound, etc.
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I tried; Lord knows I tried -- to sleep with my LOUDLY SNORING husband; what happened was that I absolutely couldn't sleep and gradually got crankier and snippier as I got more and more sleep deprived, and all was not well.

Now I sleep in a different room; get to sleep in peace and continuity through the nights, and I am MUCH more pleasant and affectionate and loving. Together now for going on 13 years!

PS -- besides, his cat The Baroness, was very jealous of me.
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This, but I started using earplugs with the highest sound blocking level I could find. It's taken me a while to get used to them/find a set that don't hurt my ears, and there are some nights I still have to shake him to roll over (he can still wake me up through 32s wtf). Add the fact that it takes me FOREVER to fall I bump up my insurance with a single benedryl every night.

For the most part, I'm sleeping again. King-sized bed helps too.
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My wife is a light sleeper and doesn't often get a good sleep. She used to send me to the couch when she couldn't sleep. After a while I noted - why should I suffer because she has issues with sleep. Now she sometimes ends up on the couch for a better sleep.

I like the closeness of a partner in the same bed - I'm thinking of getting a new wife that stays in the same bed!

Morel: Think before you suggest separate beds for your partner!
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I agree with this. First partner (5 years ago now) was desperate for constant contact and it eventualy drove me away from him as I did not sleep for 2 years, if i moved to the other side of the bed he would wake up instantly smack me and pull me back beside him. a NIGHTMARE! My new partner likes alot of space and sleeps in the louge everynight, We spend about an hour saying 'goodnight' each evening and then go to our seperate beds. I wake up everymorning missing him and he usuly ends up in my bed before work each day at 5am. Alot more happens in this relationship i assure you! Absense makes the heart grow fonder!
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I have only been with my boyfriend for a year, but I noticed a pattern that, when im alone or back at my dorm at college, I do not sleep at all, i sleep less, and am more lethargic. When im with my boyfriend and I sleep next to him, I go to bed at a decent time, wake up at a decent time, and feel well rested the whole next day, it never fails. We share his queen sized bed and never have problems, we even fall asleep holding hands or in each others arms, but I always, always always sleep better next to him.
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