If you consider that the modern toilet paper was first introduced in 1857, the whole butt wipe thing is waaay due for a major advance.
Ancient Romans used to wipe their butts after going to the bathroom with a sponge on a stick (which they put in a bucket of saltwater after they're done for reuse - Eew!) - so, in a nod to history, here's Comfort Wipe: a stick that lets you wipe your behind without ever coming close to touching it with your bare hands.
Now, before you recoil in horror, consider that this invention is actually quite useful for people with limited range of motion due to disability. Hit play or go to Link [YouTube] - via AdFreak
This is no revolution in butt wiping. The paper is STILL THERE! At best, I'd call it a small step for people with short arms.
Now, if they invented a way that improved on the actual tissues, then color me interested.
I was always intrigued by the three sea shells in "Demolition Man"...
Ol` Henry 8 created the 'privy council' to do his wipen.
Think about it; if you get mud on your hands, would it be easier to simply rub it with toilet paper or first wet your hands then wipe it with toilet paper?
Henry VIII's toilet attendant was called the “Groom of the Stool”.
Going to the toilet was still a social occasion back then, as with the ancient Romans. So the elite would all get together and discus policy in “The Great House of Easement” at Hampton palace !
Many times little people use them or similar items
/Wasn't there a Simpsons where Lisa was in an alternate universe and she was so fat she told her kids "Get the wipin' stick!"
Still what are you gonna do if you've got two feet of arm and five feet of ass. Do you guys really dislike the morbidly obese that much?
I get the three seashells, DaveL! I wish I didn't!
Bravo on the Simpsons reference. ;)