Your Bacon Gift Guide

We've done several bacon posts here on Neatorama before - there are the bacon placemats, bacon cups, bacon cinnamon rolls, and even a bacon tux.

But there's a whole, wide world of bacon-related products out there. If you've got someone on your list who absolutely loves bacon, here are a few ideas for you. These also might be good ideas for people who love bacon but can't have it - I mean, the next best thing to actual bacon is bacon-flavored dental floss, right?

Bacon Floss. I'm not sure how good this would taste after freshly brushing your teeth (which is when I tend to floss, anyway), but who knows? Maybe the minty bacon is a whole new hybrid yet to be discovered. The Bacon Floss is all over quirky sites on the Internet, but I found this on Fred Flare.

Tofu vs. Bacon Food Fight! They're just little bendy characters, but aren't they cute? I'm especially drawn toward Tofu, mostly because of his mustache, I think. Perfect for a mixed household - one vegetarian, one meat addict. Also from Fred Flare!

Bacon Jelly Beans
I guess these aren't any worse than the Harry Potter Bertie Botts beans. Still: Ew. But if they trip your tastebuds, you can get 'em over at Archie McPhee.

Bacon Wallet. This seems kind of fun, but I imagine the first time you whip out your wallet at a business lunch or something, you're going to get a few strange looks. Just a guess. Picture from Archie McPhee also, obviously, where you'll find lots of great, strange, quirky stuff that nobody really needs (you'll want it anyway).

Bacon and Eggs Stitch Markers by Etsy user ScaryMerry. So much better than the boring, everyday stitch markers. Except they might make you a little hungry while you're knitting. She has lots of cool, non-bacon stitch markers in her shop, too - I'm partial to the eyeballs and the Friday the 13th sets, myself.

Insanely Realistic Bacon Scarf. Is this not impressive? It was hand felted from merino wool. Handmade by Etsy user ChrisChunski.

Bacon Chocolate
Ugh, I guess I sort of get the theory behind this - sometimes salt and chocolate go really well together. But this is a bit much for my liking. I just don't know that meat and chocolate should ever be mixed together. If it sounds like a match made in heaven to you, it's over at Wishing Fish for $7.50.

Bacon Toothpicks. I suppose it's the same theory as the Bacon Mint or the Bacon jelly bean. I really like the packaging. Head on over to Perpetual Kid if it's a must-have stocking stuffer for you.

Bacon Lip Balm
May make the woman who wears it irresistible to men. It's from The Plaid Mushroom at Etsy, where there are normal flavors, too (including vegan versions!).

Bacon Bracelet. Wear this simultaneously with the bacon scarf for coordination purposes. This is from another cool Etsy shop, Futuregirl. I'm madly in love with the steampunk ring she has for sale, too.

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I don't know if someone somewhere already did this, but they should make a clock where the actual clock (the part wher the numbers are) is an egg sunny side up and the hour and minute hands are strips of bacon.

These products do go a little far, but I think they are absolutely hilarious.
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BUYER BEWARE! The bacon wallet is really flimsy, so I don't recommend it for use as a regular wallet.

I wear the hell out of my wallets, and my bacon wallet died in a matter of a few short months.
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