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Wedded Bliss Lasts 4 Years


Photo: l0ckergn0me's [Flickr]

How long does wedding bliss last? According to Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman, who surveyed over 10,000 women, the answer is: 4 years.

Prof Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel laureate, said studies showed that beyond this the benefits of marriage were often outweighed by having less time to see friends and a larger household workload.

While those who stayed single were more likely to feel lonely and have less sex, they had greater freedom, more time to socialise and fewer chores, he said.

Speaking at the British Psychological Society conference in Dublin yesterday, Prof Kahneman, of Princeton University, New Jersey, said: " People have very high expectations, and marriage does not necessarily live up to them."

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I've read research elsewhere that long-term relationships in general usually fail around the four-year mark, regardless of marriage. The theory I read states that before this stage what we are experiencing is "limerance" - or the "can't stop thinking about you" type of love. This causes us to see the object of our desire through rose-coloured glasses, but after about the four year mark when the limerance fades, we are confronted with what the person is really like and we can't always handle it. But when we can still love and acccept a person for who they are past the crazy stage of limerance, that's real love.
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I've heard about the whole limerance stuff before, however it also said that after that time ends you basically shouldn't expect everything to stay all good and gravy, you have to put effort into the relationship. If you make your partner happy, he/she will want to make you happy and everything is fine. :)
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i'm never getting married. it's just a document. real marriages last 'til death do us part, document or not. and most of the time people get married after knowing the other for only a short period of time as compared to the "lifetime" you agree to commit to them in marriage. i'm sure divorce rates would go waaay down if people lived together for a couple years before they got married. i'm in a loving relationship of 2 years and we live together. we always say we'll never get married and have kids, and we want to stay together for a long, long time. we complete each other. and i think that's what SHOULD be important if you get married at all. damn drive-through chapels.. thanks las vegas.
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Mooncake
What you say is a nice theory but still does not always work. I lived with my husband for 3 years before we were married and it still ended. Most folks I know who are divorced lived with their partner for at least a year before getting married. Nobody gets married thinking that it will end. We get married thinking that we have the best relationship ever and we will be together forever. Things change, people change. Sometimes it's not fixable.
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Indeed, things change and people change, but the only time it's not fixable is when one of the two parties involved doesn't want it to be fixed. The trouble with most couples is that divorce is to readily considered as a solution to difficulties that arise.
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