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The Perfect Male: Horny Yet Sensitive.

Miss Cellania's topic of the day is Mars and Venus. Here's an example:

Female Definitions
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Male Definitions
Alimony: (1) bounty after the mutiny. (2) the cash surrender value of a husband. (3) a system whereby when two people make a mistake, one of them continues to pay for it. (4) the high cost of leaving. (5) the screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Beauty: (1) the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. (2) feminine of intellect.

Bed: the place where marriages are decided.

Child: (1) love's by-product. (2) one who stands halfway between an adult and a t.v set.

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