Neatorama Got a Baby!

A lot of things happened this past weekend: Mel Gibson got in trouble, wars raged on in the Middle East, Neatorama had a server meltdown (again) ... and baby Madeline arrived early!

If you were wondering why there weren't any post on Neatorama for the past couple of days, you're looking at the answer: my lovely wife gave me the best present ever - a bawling, beautiful little poop machine baby girl. Mom and baby, understandably, were very tired from the experience and had to rest. Alex, who did nothing, was similarly exhausted ...

Updates to Neatorama will most likely slow down for the next few days - so, now would be a good time to ask you what you like/dislike about the blog, how it can be improved, and what you'd like to see more/less in the blog.

Being first time parents - Tiffany and I welcome any suggestion and advice on raising a girl. Funniest and best comment will win a Neatorama t-shirt. In the meantime, we'd like to thank everyone who called and visited, and all of you for visiting Neatorama regularly!


I will give you the advice that some First Lady or another (Or was it a President's mother...? I don't remember.) gave to my mother when she was pregnant with me:

Never let her wear pants. If you do, she'll never wear skirts again!

I'm glad my mother didn't listen.
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8-01-06 @ 08:31:38 photo welcomes
'Lil Miss Madeline Tiffany Neatorama.
May all of you experience continued good health and a very long life indeed, congrats from Santa Monica.
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From my experience with a daughter who is now 16, always remember that kids bounce pretty well, so it's realy hard to hurt them.

Oh, and spicy nacho dip on a cracker IS a fine food for a toddler, despite what those namby pamby Moms want you to think.

Good luck.
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Congrats Alex,

As a father of 2 their is no greater feeling in the world as being a father. The first couple months are a little rough and then one day your little bundle of joy will give you the greatest toothless smile in the world. And that my friend is NEAT.
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Congrats. Not sure if you are religious. Fill in religious comment here ______. Your life has changed, not ended. If this site is any indication of your commitment and belief in a future worth living in, then she is in good hands. I think Whitney Houston said it best......
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Congratulations on your new baby girl!!!
I did miss the updates, but completely understand.
The best advice I can give is to keep your sense of humor, you're going to need it. :)
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I'm not sure how having a baby can possibly compare with my need for constant Neatorama updates. If you start spoiling her now by giving her too much attention...well, it just spirals downward from here until you find yourself in a pit of pink despair. So yeah, go ahead, indulge yourself in yer joy and yer happiness, forget about the rest of us. Sniff.

;) Congratulations!
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That is a great picture! You need to get that blown up and made into wallpaper or something!

Congratulations, happy dude! Or happy Dad!
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hey neatorama, i really like your site, and respect you for finding some of the most intresting all around articles. Congratulations on being a parent, it's very challenging.

anyways there are tons of parenting books out there, and my advice is: do not buy any of them. Go to toysrus and buy a tamogachi. I find this helpful parenting toy useful and learned all my tips in raising my children.
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welcome to the world of the 'firsts'...first baby, first smile, first step, first day of school, first boy, and so on....

enjoy every day with her...for they grow so fast.

(my 'baby girl' leaves for college this month.)

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no matter how hard you try to stop it, she will want to dress up like a princess everyday. they tend to get upset when you say your a dragon and destroy their kingdom with your big daddy feet. just a heads up.

and congrats!
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Enjoy her immobility while you can. My son just started crawling and now nothing is safe.

The advice my dad had for me when mine was born was
"Offer to change lots of diapers for the first couple months. They're not as bad smelling yet, and your wife will always think of you as being really helpfull. Then you won't have to change as many of the smelly ones later."
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Here's an application for dating your daughter....

Name: Last___________First______________ M. Initial_______ Age______

Address: ________________________________County______________________

Religion: ________________________#Attendance's in the Last Year_____

Parents: Father's Name________________#Marriages______#Years_________


Mother's Name_______________#Marriages______#Years_____


1. Do you own or drive a Van? ______________ (If so Please Discontinue Filling Out Form)

2. In 50 words or less, describe what NO!!!! Means to you_________



3. In 50 words or less, describe what LATE!! Means to You_________



4. Where would you least like To Be SHOT?_________________________

5. Which is the Last BONE You Want Broken?________________________

6. What do you want to be IF you grow up?_________________________

7. The Place for a WOMAN Is?______________________________________

8. What is MY Daughter's NAME? ___________________________________

9.Who besides GOD Should YOU FEAR the most? ______________________

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME______________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT____________ WEIGHT_____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #____________________

DRIVERS LICENSE #_______________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_____________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS__________________________

CITY/STATE___________ ZIP_____

Number of years married________ If less than your age, Explain________


Do you own a van?_____ A truck with oversized tires?_____

A waterbed?_________ A pickup with a mattress in the back?______

A condom?______ Pornography?_______

Do you have earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring?________


In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, mean to you? _______________________________________________________________


In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? ________________________________________________________________


When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and priest?_____________

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. (that means I won't tell anyone EVER)

The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ____________________

When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is ______________________

NOTE: if above answer begins with T or A, discontinue. Leaving premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.

What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _______________________

Condoms come in packages of

A: 3 B: 6 C: 9 D: 12 E: ALL OF THE ABOVE (circle one)



Signature (that means sign your name)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write.
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Congrats. Your next year will be the happiest ever. I say this as someone who didn't like kids. My wife and I had a baby daughter a year ago tomorrow and it has been the best experience. She's great. I wish you the best.
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Gongrats from me too. Was scared spittless when they put my daughter in my arms for the first time, certain that someone had made a terrible mistake in making me a father. 14 years later I'll admit I love being a dad and wouldn't dream of going back to my life before kids.
You'll do fine.
Look forward to reading your posts in the future, but feel free to take a bit of time off right now, you'll need it.
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The best parenting advice I can give you (I'm a mother of an eleven month old girl): If you are even in doubt of your parenting skills, load up the family for a two a.m. wal mart diaper run. You'll feel like Dr. spock. Congrats on the baby. She'll only get to be more fun.
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this is for a bit later on...but i have a four year old son, and once the teething starts, DO NOT use any of the gels they sell at the store, they are full of nasty chemicals and sugars that can cause gum damage and tooth decay...

i did what my grandparents did for my parents and what my parents did for me...

a little whiskey (jameson is always good) or other liquour (my son was fond of homemade blueberry brandy) rubbed on the gums does a far better job, just dip your finger in and rub it on the works better and lasts longer than the over the counter crap...ask your doctor and they will agree...

also, once they get older (2 and up) a thimble of blueberry brandy will settle a tummy ache...

i am not looking for arguments here, i am old world and just offering suggetion....

Congratulations by the way...beautiful child...
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Many, many congratulations and best wishes for a happy life together. Advice from this old grandma would just be to follow your heart faster than you follow advice, laugh a lot and treasure every moment.

You've opened the door to a whole lot of happiness.
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many congratulations from a fan in England. She looks beautiful and you look so happy! If your child-rearing is as good as your web-site then you will have no problems! Remeber - a child is for life - things will never be the same.
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Congrats on yer new addition

am sure she'll prove to be a great joy and or heart ache in the many years to come .... just be patient and remember as U try to teach her the few and many lessons of life ... remember tis best guide her with a firm hand and open mind...inspite of what yer own mind and feelings may tell U to the contrary

and when in doubt let her find out the hard way
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I have a 6-month old. Here is the most important advice you will receive for the first 3 months of your baby's life. A) learn how to swaddle tightly. If possible swipe the linen swaddling blanket from the hospital. The linen texture grabs better than felt which most other blankets are made of. Also the size is a little larger. Again, it is all about tight tight tight. Your baby has been cramped for many months. Being loose feels awkward. B) Mylicon (gas drops) are your salvation. The instructions say to use as needed up to 12 times a day. Trust me. Your baby needs them before feeding EVERY TIME for the first 2 weeks. Then you should be good to go. This advice took a non-stop crying baby and turned him into a sleeping through the night (except for feedings) baby instanly.
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Advice? A couple of things spring to mind.

1. Buy a shotgun. If you have no real use for guns, just purchase an inexpensive, double-barreled model. Oh, and cleaning cloths. That way when suitors come buy to introduce themselves, you'll have something to polish while conversing with the young man.

2. Teenagers should never have outside windows in their rooms. It's easier to just leave them out of the houseplans than it is to board them up later on when the kids start jumping out of them at midnight to get into mischief...and they will.
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Aw, how awesome is that.
Congratulations to you both!

for teething there is actually a natural based product that looks like little pills but melt once in the mouth. I'll have to ask one of my mommy friends because I don't remember the name but they taste pretty good.
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Nice work, buddy!
(Longtime Neatorama listener, first time caller.)

A friend of mine and I set up a dad blog called Baby Roadies where we talk about junk and stuff. You might be into it.

Again, nice work.


P.S. I am not a robot.
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My best wishes to you all. My best advice - trust yourself, but be willing to seek answers from books & other parents, but trust your own observations and instincts - you are there with your own child, they are not. Try not to worry to much, being a parent is different, sometimes challenging, but generally great and the best thing you can do with your life. Best advice for the next little while - learn to get to sleep quickly, get up when you have to, then get back to sleep quickly - if you get a chance for a nap, take it! Have fun - we certainly have with our family! Also - as I've said before - Neatorama is great. To echo an earlier comment, the only thing I would want is a bit more of it.
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I can never resist pictures of wittle babies. My advice? Girls are stealth pee-ers when you change their diapers, so always make sure you have something underneath them. My boys - well it was obvious if they did the deed during a change. Girls, not so much. You just reach under, and there's a puddle.
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I have a 4 yr old boy and I remember the joy I experienced changing diapers and following him around.Electrical cords are not meant to be used as teething devices!Advice?I have none that will not be learned at the exact moment you should've known.Basically it's all a constant learning process.My mom said it best,"Dont buy those Dr.Spock books.They are a waste of your $$,what the hell do they know about YOUR child.The first one is an experiment." Congrats!!! Stay calm and cool. ajv
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Glad mom and the wee gaffer are ok.

Can't give any advice. My son is nearly eight and I still wonder if I'm a good parent.

All you can do is your best, eh? Your time is the most important gift you can give her.

Take care.
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Congratulations from the UK. There's no better smell than the top of a new babe's head, no softer hair or skin. My advice 1) none of it is forever, so treasure the good and endure the bad times - they will pass equally fast 2) smile sweetly when anyone dishes out advice, don't argue and then do what the heck you want to do anyhow
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Long time fan of this site, & I'm glad I get to leave my first comment under such happy news! The sight is fantastic. I particularly enjoy all the science and tech articles, but the whole sight is great.
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Congratulations to you and the good lady. :)
Your life is about to change forever and you can never really appreciate how much either. I thought I was ready for the birth of my son 6 years ago but boy did I have a lot to learn. In a year or so you will wonder what you used to do with your time!

If I can offer any advice I would echo the sentiments of lelheq(comment no62) and enjoy every minute as it soon passes.
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Congrats m8! Was wondering why there hadn't been updates, and as i mayhave missed them, i know that only pails into compairson the ammount of sleep yourself and Tiffany will most-likely loose over your precious one. Keep up the good work, and if i have one tid bit of advice....

Warm Milk bottle feed, and a car ride... Puts them to sleep most of the time ;)
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Grats on the new girl. May I recommend starting her now on a chastity belt, so that when she is a teenager, she will already be used to wearing one.
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I visit your site daily and you kept me well entertained during my monthsof house confinment and bedside. My daughter Virginia is 10 weeks oldnow and she is great!
Advice from a first time mother at age 44 is:
1. A gift for mommie--baby gets everything and mommie feels a little left out at times. I got one at my shower and it really made me feel special
2. no need for bottle sterilizer, as long as you do not have well water--bottles now can be dishwasher, or hot water and soap
3. Always spray by Clorox rocks! safe to use around the little one to clean items and surfaces
4. Ocean nasal spray--to clear the tiny notrils of stuff
5. no baby powder--they do not recommend it, due to potential respiratory issues it can cause
6. the Ads say you need to put ointment on their butts to prevent diaper rash, but my nursery nurses told me "NO", that as long as you keep the buttock area clean, dry, and changes diapers regularly--no need for the ointments
7. get invilved in making decisions about baby supplies/items--your wife makes so many choices--a little help is welcome, for they can be overwhelming--I wish my husband was more involved with decisions--BUT he does do diapers extremely well though.
8. wahs cloths, the 3 pack from Taregt are great burp/sip cloths at $1.59 and come in many colors
9. Once Upon a Child--if you have one near you is a great place to shop for used items--I got her crib there, and ofeten find new clothes--never worn--at great prices
10. The advent bottle system from UK works the best for my baby--we tried several. available at most stores(Target,CVS,Walmart). What I did was but one bottle of from several makers and tried them out. Gerber also did nicely.
11. sign-up for Pampers, Huggies, and your Baby's formula mailings--you will get samples and great coupons. If breastfeeding--still sign-up for formula, for you may need to supplement at some point. Enfamil has a great program for this.
12. keep a digital camera near the crib and one in the diaper bag--never know when a cute momment may happen
13. stock the frig/kitchen with your wife's favorite snacks/treats/simple meals. She's still eating for two!
14. stock supplies for 2 weeks at a time, to save trips to the stores
15. Purell a great hand cleanser tokeep atthe changing table
16. pick 1-20 pictures--get copies 10 of each, and then buy cheap pocket photo albums. So, when family and close friends visit--they get their own brag album. We did this while we were still in the hospital. My husband's hobby is digital photography--so he had pics done, downloaded on his laptop, and transfered to disc. He went to local drugstore's one hour photo processing and was back in time to start passing them out to our visitors. The family members were stunned by their own little albums, to be able to show/share with others so quickly.
17. You can put pictures up at flickr-and email the link to friends/family far away. Have a friend,who's first grandchild was born last week, but due to his job, he cannot travel tosee him for 3 weeks yet. He still is awaiting someone to email him a photo still--poor guy!
18. A piggyback with coins from 2006. My mother did that for all 4 of her children--clear glass. I have given banks as gifts for the same purpose. Does not have to be a pig though. Ebay has so many choices.
19. Pick bedtime clothing, that allows for ease of diaper change
20. Halo sleep sac--great item
21. Academy of Pediatricians website
22. Great daddie,,,,,
We both fidn them useful.
23. All Free Clear laundry soap safe for baby clothing, and cheaper than Deft
24. Tiny Love baby toys/items are great and well made
25. I learned from others chewing your baby's fingernails, to keep them trim is easier then trying to use a baby fingeranil clipper, and I have tried several brands.
26. most of all, enjoy the time, for it passes fast--especially when you arfe sleep deprived!
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My husband would adivse aBoppy pillow. Even though I had to stop breast feeding, it is a great support/lounging pillow for Virginia. It lets her sit-up somewhat, on the bed with us, not not recomended for baby to sleep in unattended. Also a trash can right next to the changing table is his other favorite thing.
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Congratulations and best wishes! I adore your stellar site.

My advice is to just be in the "now" as much as possible. Babies bring your life to a screeching halt - temporarily - and if you expect too much of yourself or allow yourself to fret about other things you'd like to be getting done, it will really get you down. As much as I hate to say it, don't worry about your readers right now. You just had a BABY - if you have a spare 15 minutes and are trying to decide between a nap or posting here, in spite of myself I would suggest you take the nap. My children are 6 and 2. I loved having babies in the house, but it definitely was a different way of life all around. The months are short but the days are long...but it's so worth it.

This is an awesome time for you - enjoy it!
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Best wishes to everyone in the family! How exciting...a new little person in this big great world. I wish health and happiness for your beautiful bundle of joy.

I just love the site. I say don't change a thing! Thanks for all the wonderful posts.
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Hooray for your family!

The only two things I can think of: 1) make sure she is always wearing enough clothes so she doesn't get cold 2) cover her up when you are in the sun.

Best wishes for your new addition :D
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well the best advice i could give anyone about raising a baby would be to simply not worry, dont give in to the family craze and all the confusion that comes along with it, and there are allot of people that may seem to have the answer (baby raising books ans stuff like it) but all you have to do is simply trust your instincts and do what you feel is rioght for your child, there are allof of people that offer you a guide book or a set of rules but you really dont need that stuff, trust your instincts and she will grow up just fine :)

and remember, more toys and early schooling does not make the child smarter, they will learn just fine either way :)
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Advice: all children come standard with at least one poo-splosion. This event is when you smell something amiss, and realize the bundle of joy you're holding has somehow managed to poo not only in her diaper, but ALL THE WAY up her back as well. Poo removal from hair is frequently involved in the typical poo-splosion--both the baby's hair and (somehow) your own hair. I'm just sayin'.

Prepare for it, and you may even be able to chuckle about it rather than collapsing, sobbing, to the floor.

Be strong! It's very worth it!
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Congratulations, just 1 tip, ifd she does something bold but hilarious (maybe when she's a couple years older) give out to her first, and then laugh when she's asleep or out of the room, otherwise she'll do it again and again 'til it actually isn't funny, just bold, but by that time it'll be too late to give out to her and she'll stop. Congrats again buddy!
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to calm the teething monster and get your child back safely and naturally:

hyland's teething tablets. You can find them at the grocery store in the baby aisle, or at Walmart in the Vitamin aisle, next to the prenatal vitamins. About $3-5 depending on where you go.
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It's great to see the happy face behind Neatorama (inarguably the best website ever). Congratulations to you and your family! Advice? I don't know squat about kids, but I would have liked it if my father had made me smile and showed me how a man ought to treat a woman. Do that for Madeline and as an adult she'll remember you for the right reasons.

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