Huh. On a completely unrelated subject (aside from the four letters their names share), aren't Charleston Chews great? I haven't had one in such a long time. My sister used to put them in the freezer before she ate them. God, she's weird.
Personally, I wouldn't mind seeing her give a go at some beef jerky. It would make for some great familial memories. "Honey, you need to finish your jerky before you can leave the table and play with the rest of the kids." "Aw, ma!"
A pox on you and all your kin!