It has officially been more than twenty years since the internet became mainstream, so now those pioneers who lived through dial-up modems and the AOL disc-aster can talk to the youngsters about the “good old days”.
But heed this illustrated warning from C-SECTION COMICS and keep your ranting under control or you may end up facing assault charges.
To quote Grandmaster Flash “New York, New York big city of dreams, and everything in New York ain't always what it seems”, a perfectly concise summary of what makes New York such a great place to be a misfit.
The New York we know today is far more gentrified, visually scrutinized and whitewashed in the media, and is actually becoming a less nightmarish place to live- if you can afford the rent.
But back when most anyone could afford to live there, circa the 1980s, the New York City streets were a seedy, drug-fueled and very “alive” place.
NYC was truly a 24-hour town- and usually not in the good way.
Submitted for your approval the tale of Milton Waddams, a lonely office worker who has been pushed to his limit for the last time. The people in his office treat him like a jerk and don't respect his space, which he has been able to deal with for years, but recently someone stole his beloved Swingline stapler, an act of criminal disregard that made Milton madder than he's ever been before. He's about to blow his top, but first he'll pay a visit to the TPS Report Zone...
Celebrate your favorite movie misfit the fun way- with this If They Take My Stapler t-shirt by ShasteenFrey, it's the best way to show Milton you support his search for the missing Swingline stapler!
You may have seen warnings posted about approaching or feeding wild bears, saying they're deadly and it's a bad idea to go anywhere near them much less let them know you have food. Well, I'm here to tell you there's one kind of bear that's okay to feed and approach- the urbane bear, ursinis urbanis. The urbane bear is much smarter and far more dignified than the average bear, and they would never eat filthy humans because they don't know where those humans have been. These bears have a refined sense of taste with the clothing to match, so if you see a bear in a three piece suit and bowler hat wander into your town don't panic- simply offer him a cappuccino and a charcuterie platter and he'll be too busy eating to bore you with his stories about shopping for bear-sized suits...
Show some love for those civilized bears with this Urbane Bear t-shirt by Matt Parsons, it's the dapper way to say "ursas are major in my life!"
They may have the faces of angels and the bodies to match but Wasp, Scarlet Witch and Black Widow aren't the golden girls you wish they were. There's something about pretty girls that make men go all gaga and start to see them as untarnished little porcelain dolls, prim and proper and capable of doing no harm. But as annoying as this assumption is these women of action like to use it against guys, and with a little flirtatious smiling and eyelash batting they can butter up any man they're battling, making it so those chumps don't see what's coming...
Support the female superheroes who rock our world, wear this We're No Angels t-shirt by Aaron Morales and make hearts soar wherever you go!
Kaneda scanned the horizon looking for any sign of his old pal Tetsuo, who had recently gone full nuclear in Neo-Tokyo, but it seems even a being possessed of that much power must implode at some point. And yet that look in Tetsuo's eyes made Kaneda think maybe his old pal was still in that swollen monstrosity somewhere, and if there was hope he could bring Tetsuo home again Kaneda would keep looking and waiting. Suddenly he felt breath on his neck and heard a raspy voice whisper "It's good to see you again, old friend..."
Your geeky wardrobe is about to explode when you bring home this Neo-Tokyo t-shirt by Ddjvigo, it's a killer design that will blow people's minds!
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Doug Funnie was finally growing up, and that meant letting go of childhood things like scooters, water balloon wars and his favorite superhero, Quailman. But Quailman was actually part of Doug, an alternate personality who made Doug feel alive whenever he donned the cape and belt crown, so letting go was harder than he'd anticipated. Every time Doug heard someone screaming for help because they dropped their ice cream, or their cat was stuck in a tree, Doug wanted to transform into Quailman and come to the rescue, but he knew if he didn't stop playing now he might not ever make it to adulthood...
Add some animated awesomeness to your geeky wardrobe with this Quailman No More t-shirt by Adho1982, it's a story within a story that takes place inside an animated TV show...whoa!!
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Chickens are the most underrated of all magical creatures, and even though we eat their eggs and then eat the chicken when we're tired of staring at their beaky faces and beady little eyes we still don't see them as that big a deal. But an old lunatic from the Ozarks once told me that if you pick up a chicken and it doesn't cluck all day long you'll have good luck...or maybe it was pick it up and have good cluck, I dunno, it was a long time ago and there aren't many chickens where I'm from...
Spread the word about the power of poultry with this Good Cluck t-shirt by Sophie Corrigan, it's sure to make people want to pick up chickens wherever you go!
Politicians do all kinds of promising and talking about solutions and strategies, but take it from the most famous Mon Calamari in the galaxy- if you think of everything as a trap you'll never get caught in a trap. Admiral Ackbar may seem like an unlikely candidate for the Galactic Council, but he knows how the minds of the Imperial commanders and their Sith overlords think, and what they're thinking 9 out of 10 times has something to do with a trap. So you can throw away your vote on some other Rebel rabble rouser or crackpot in a helmet, or you can vote for Ackbar and keep the Alliance from getting caught in a trap!
Vote for the fishman you believe in most, wear this TRAP t-shirt by inkOne Art and cast your vote on the side of it's a trap!
Spending the day doing actual farming makes you tired and dirty, but when you're virtual farming on your SNES console the fun never ends and you never break a sweat! Planting crops by the light of the harvest moon sounds cool and life changing and junk, but playing harvest moon is much more fun and leads to far fewer werewolf attacks and bug bites. Now, I'm not saying your real life farm is infested with werewolves, I'm just saying it's much safer, warmer and more comfortable inside where your console is...
Share your love of indoor virtual farming with the world, wear this Farming Is Fun t-shirt by TechraNova and you'll be growing smiles wherever you go!
When Bobu Belcha-san and his daughter Louisa-chan want to watch some action heavy foreign TV shows they always come back to the one they relate to most- Hawk and Chick, the father-daughter samurai team who fight evil monsters and are played by an actual father and daughter. Hawk and Chick made Bob, I mean Bobu, want to bond more with his wild daughter, and it made Louisa-chan think maybe her dad wasn't such a boring guy after all. Plus, giant butterfly monsters in Japan, that's cool, right?
Get geared up with the power of animated imagination with this Hawk And Chick t-shirt by Kgullholmen, it's the tastiest samurai themed design you'll see online.
They said Homer would never be able to master the mystical arts and become Springfield's number one sorcerer, that he was too fat and too dimwitted to learn the mystical and martial arts at the same time, but Homer showed them, or did he? Suddenly Homer had this really cool cape that fluttered around, and he had somehow grown a wizardly goatee overnight, which was pretty magical in itself. But Homer's most magical feat was his strange new ability to make giant glowing donuts hover around his hand, which people quickly realized was just a side effect of Homer reaching into the reactor core to grab a donut that had fallen in...
Go team sorcerer supreme- Simpsons style with this Strange Dad t-shirt by Andriu, it's mesmerizing and sure to make your fellow fans smirk with delight.
Retro kids have a lot to be thankful for, like being born in an era when all the greatest movies, TV shows, video games and toys came out, and those who were born in the 70s have a special connection with that cinematic war in the stars. The Rebel Alliance battling the Empire, Luke and Han and Leia and Chewie versus the galaxy, this was a great time to watch sci-fi films and a fun era for kids because of all the great shows and toys. The future never looked brighter than it did during childhood in the 1970s, when space didn't seem so far away after all...
Celebrate being born in the groovies decade ever with this RETRO KID (Star Wars) t-shirt by ALIENBIKER23, it's far, far away the most far out shirt a 70s kid will ever own!
Sometimes her life felt like a fantasy, other times it felt like a nightmare, and even though she was a materia girl living in a materia rich world the fantasy seemed fake. It felt like there was always a final mission ahead, another chance to kill and lose loved ones who can't afford those pricey phoenix downs. And although this foreboding feeling didn't interfere with her materia training it made her feel like she'd lost control of her limit breaks, which could could let down the team in their time of crisis. Materia girls may seem kinda spacey, but that's just because they have a lot on their minds!
Take your favorite fantasy femme with you wherever you go on this Materia Girl t-shirt by Ninjaink, it's the cura for boring fashion.
When Boba is out hunting his next target he has a lot on his mind, and the loudest voice he hears in his head is the voice of his employer issuing their orders and specific details. Catching the quarry is the easy part, but pleasing the customer means creating a reputation and striving for greatness, so if they want the target brought in alive you let them live. Han really got under that Fett's skin, and as much as he wanted the credits he wanted to see Solo burn twice as bad, but he knew better than to disobey a Hutt...
Explore the mind of a Mandalorian with this He's No Good To Me Dead t-shirt by Maclac, it's a wearable quote and cool design in one!
Creepy guy in the sky, you look like you're really high, what's with that look, you sleazy crook, it's stranger danger! Seriously folks, if you see some scummy guy or gal driving around in a van looking at you in a manner you feel is inappropriate you should immediately yell STRANGER DANGER at the top of your lungs and run home! Even if there are rainbows and moonbeams coming out of the van's tailpipe, and yes even if the van can actually fly through the air like a steel pigeon, you should avoid entering the van at all costs if you value your life. And that's a tip that will help you go places without going kaput!
Become a walking PSA with this Stranger Danger Across The Sky! t-shirt by Bob Rosland, it's eye catching and informative at the same time!
The leek might not be the most extroverted vegetable in the fridge, and it's definitely not the sweetest tasting, but if you ever get the chance to chat with one do it because they're really friendly and fun! Leeks like to go swimming, watch rom-coms that make them cry, and work on their hobbies so they can stay multi-layered. So before you chop up that leek and add it to dinner hang out with it for a while, you'll be glad you made a tasty friend!
Get friendly with your food with this Hello, Leek t-shirt by Tshaatsu, it's an adorably delightful design that's sure to make your fellow foodies smile.
Hobbits may not look like much on the outside, their bodies soft and doughy and their fur all downy, but on the inside they're as hard as they come. You see, hobbits are exposed to lots of nasty stuff during their extremely long lives, and when a citizen of the shire decides to go on a grand adventure they grow tough as briar with a surly attitude. So if you're thinking about messing with an old hobbit think again or face a walking stick beat down!
Show the world that the shire is full of badasses with this Old Hobbits Die Hard!!! t-shirt by Gamma-Ray, it defies stereotypes and delivers some in-your-face action at the same time!
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It's almost time to head back to the beach and soak in some rays while the waves gently lap the shore, so people are working hard to get in shape so they can feel confident in their swimsuit this summer.
But if you're just okay with going to the beach then you should ignore those people who have to prepare and dress appropriately for the beach and just head down to the shore and enjoy yourself.
Take it from Iggy Pop- you don't have to sport short shorts or a bikini down by the shore, just do you however you see fit and tell those seaside conformists to "deal with it".
The band Queen was dead, and yet the Queen of England was still very much alive and ready to rock the United Kingdom into the 21st century. Unfortunately, her loyal subjects expected her to behave with dignity and decorum and not like some rock n roll rebel, so she had to keep her dreams of being a rock star locked away in her head. But after everyone else in the palace had gone to bed she would pull out her old Queen album collection and pretend to be the lead singer, and although she meant no disrespect to Freddy Mercury she still secretly wished her life had taken a different turn back in 1970...
Show the world what a real wanna-be rock star looks like, wear this It's A Kind Of Monarch t-shirt by Leon and rock your cares away!
Classic horror movies rarely make as big of an impact on the audience as Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre did back in 1974, and to this day people can't hear the sound of a chainsaw without thinking of Leatherface. And while the original movie made audiences break out in a cold sweat, and caused many to see Leatherface's gruesome skin mask leering at them in their nightmares, it gave horror movie fanatics a new creep to root for who was somehow kinder and gentler than the rest. For poor old Leatherface was just following orders and trying not to disappoint his dear demented family, a feeling we can all relate to, and with the release of future installments we got to see just how fun it would be to hang around Leatherface's house of horrors...
Declare your love of classic horror flicks with this TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE t-shirt by Agacactus, it's a killer work of art!
Our sweet tooths and the drive to chomp down on sugary sweets all day long originate in the farthest depths of Hell, wehre Sugarmet the Candy Devil grinds the bones of sinners into the granulated sugar we so desperately need. Sugarmet is surprisingly svelt considering he's full of carbs and calories, but those who worship at his syrupy altars grow plump and juicy, ready to be roasted alive once they've fallen into Sugarmet's granulated grasp...
Show the world what the dark side of having a sweet tooth looks like, wear this Sugarmet The Candy Devil t-shirt by Andrei Verner and make people hunger for your presence!
Elmo is a monster, a friendly monster but still a monster, so people tend to forget that his physiology is marvelous and strange. Monster physique is not as rigid or concrete as the human body, and therefore is capable of expanding and stretching into different shapes to suit the level of scare necessary at any given time, which is why nobody says no when Elmo asks them to tickle him!
Show a different side of Sesame Street's cutest little monster with this Tickle Me Elmo t-shirt by ZionKnight, it's sure to make people chuckle wherever you go!
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Old Peppy the pepperoni pizza died doing what he loved- cramming himself into somebody's mouth. He lived a greasy life, told lots of cheesy jokes and only got really crusty when people accused him of being junk food, and Old Peppy will always be remembered as the slice who stayed true to himself and always left foodies wanting more. Rest in pepperoni, dear Peppy, your savory slices and saucy sense of humor will not soon be forgotten...
Commemorate the life of a culinary superstar with this Rest In Pepperoni t-shirt by Luca, it's a tasteful way to give the last slice of pizza the send off it deserves!
I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile, you're looking for a candidate who'll go the extra mile. Lionel knows just what to say and he knows just what to do, but let him start by saying "I love your shoes". As a rule presidential candidates aren't very cool, and we constantly elect some dweeb or dufus who just makes our country look like a backwards place full of tactless twits. So isn't it about time we elected somebody cool, somebody who knows all the feels and can sing his way out of any dispute, foreign or domestic? That's why I'm voting Lionel Richie for prez in 2016, because we need a president who can be cool and keep their cool so America can be totally cool again!
Sing the praises of your candidate of choice with this Hello, Is It Hope You're Looking For t-shirt by Paulychilds, it's red, white and bluesy in all the right ways!
No man has ever commanded a presence quite like Geralt Of Rivia, which seems appropriate considering how many epic monsters he has slain. They call him the Witcher, which some see as an insult or derogatory term, but Geralt wears his Witcher title with pride, knowing he's one of the only beings on the planet possessing his particular set of skills. And those who snicker and snark behind his back cannot even look Geralt in the eye for long before they turn away in fear, reaffirming his belief that he is the only one with true power on The Continent.
Wear a stare that makes monsters shiver and men shake by slipping this Geralt Of Rivia t-shirt by TeeHunter over your torso. It doesn't add any armor value but it will cast a charm spell on your fellow gamers!
When you absolutely, positively need to have a cheesy pizza pie delivered to your home base but the world is in the midst of a zombie apocalypse you need to call The Walking Pizza Co. They guarantee delivery in one week or it's free, and even though it will be cold and the box will be covered in blood it will be the best tasting pizza you've ever eaten in your life. The Walking Pizza Co. is not responsible for any atomic fallout that may be contained within the cardboard box, please consume with caution.
Serve up some post-apocalyptic silliness with this The Walking Pizza Co. t-shirt by BS, it's sure to knock your fellow fans dead!
Most people don't realize the classic arcade game Pac-Man is actually based on a true story of a man who was constantly chased by ghosts and started taking drugs to deal with the hauntings. He swallowed pellet after pellet but never stopped seeing the spirits until he discovered the super drug nicknamed PWR that allowed him to consume the ghosts whole. The game took certain liberties with his diet (the real Pac preferred beer, pizza and cheeseburgers to pretzels and fruit), but couldn't include the drug addict factor for obvious reasons. The man disappeared during the 80s and has yet to return in his original form, and some say the Ms. made sure it was game over for poor Pac...
Show the world the true story behind the Pac with this Endless Chase t-shirt by Ian Wildling, it's sure to earn you a geeky fashion high score!
The Man of Iron took to the cliffs to declare a new artificial intelligence had come to the people of New York, an android who would one day be king. They called him the Vision, and he was built to lead the people through the dark storms to come by battling the robotic forces of Ultron. Vision had the heart of a lion, the intellect of ten thousand geniuses, and a sturdy humanoid frame made for battle, but there was one thing his programming couldn't comprehend- how a meerkat and a warthog could become best friends with a lion...Does not compute!
Keep your taste in geeky tee designs totally epic with this Circle Of Artificial Life t-shirt by FranchFries, it's one marvel-ously magnificent mashup!
You don't always have to listen to the Doctor, and half the time you're probably better off ignoring his inane babblings and silly statements, but when he tells you "Don't Blink" what he's really saying is "blink and you're dead". Those silly enough to ignore his order become another stone statue for the Weeping Angel's collection, their lives lost to the cosmos, so heed his warning if you want to live to see another trip in the tardis...
Wear a warning all Whovians will appreciate, slip on this Don't Blink! t-shirt by Claudia SG and help keep the Weeping Angels from invading Earth.