Zeon Santos's Blog Posts

A Collection Of Hilariously Terrible Photoshopped Images

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Failing to create realistic looking composite images in Photoshop is a natural part of the learning curve, as you discover how to use selections, layers and tools to create a believable fake.

But if you decide to share your utter failure of a Photoshop with the internet while claiming the image is legit prepare to be eaten alive by jerky commenters.

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Photoshop is a powerful tool capable of outputting extremely realistic, high resolution images in any size you want, yet bad Photoshoppers somehow manage to turn the mighty Photoshop into a glorified MS Paint.

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But the best thing to do when you're new to Photoshop is soldier on, continually tweaking the tools and exercising your options until you get the incredible visual results you were looking for.

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See 15 Terrible Photoshops That Will Make You Laugh Every Time here

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Dog Casually Watches Movies On His Human's Laptop

Most dogs don't watch videos on their human's laptop because they can't remember the network password and don't know how to delete the browsing history, so they always get caught red pawed.

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But as Doge demonstrated, Shiba Inus just don't give a crap, so they'll use their human's laptop to watch videos for hours on end, never bothering to delete the browser history because they think they're the pack leader.

Watch Chiko the Shiba Inu set a bad example for canine kind.

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Chiko's owner is lucky dogs don't understand how credit cards work!

-Via Daily Dot

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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The Witcher Hits The Sunny Shores Of San Andreas

The Witcher has killed the biggest monsters, helped restore kingdoms to their former glory and defeated the corrupt to prove he's the most powerful Witcher in history.

So what is Geralt of Rivia going to do now that his days of adventuring are over?

According to this fun video by Maul Cosplay Geralt is heading to the shores of San Andreas to unwind and soak up some rays- Witcher style.

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Maybe Geralt's life as a Witcher was all a dream caused by sun stroke?

-Via Geeks Are Sexy

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Town Goes All Out To Protect Dove Who Decided To Nest On Cop Car

Towns are becoming known for some pretty strange stuff these days thanks to the internet, and until about two months ago the town of Parma, Ohio was known as the home of horrible Halloween decorations.

Thanks to a little visitor named Gerty, Parma is now known as the town that went the extra mile to help a mourning dove nest comfortably- even though Gerty was nesting on the hood of a cop car.

The Parma police department set up an umbrella to keep Gerty and her eggs dry, set out some water in a tiny cup to keep her hydrated, and they even dug up a few worms in case she got hungry.

The car is a back-up so hopefully they didn't need it before Gerty's eggs hatched in May, or else that's an obstruction of justice charge for Gerty!

-Via Huffington Post

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How To Select The Perfect Children's Book For Bedtime

Choosing the perfect book to read to your kids before bed can be hard, especially because their input usually amounts to “something funny” or “something with a princess in it”.

But as this comic from Grant Snider of Incidental Comics shows- the best book you can read to them before bed is the one that puts them to sleep the fastest!

-Via FizX

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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"Runaway" Russian Robot Causes Traffic Jam

Engineers continue to claim robots that are able to operate autonomously will make human society safer, cleaner and more productive when they help increase our workforce.

But their claims are still largely unsubstantiated, while videos like this one prove autonomous human-assist robots are still in the “menace 2 society” phase of development.

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People are saying Promobot, builders of renegade robots, used this stunt to get free publicity before entering their creation in the TechCrunch Disrupt conference this fall, but this looks like the beginning of a robotic revolution to me...

-Via Laughing Squid

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Boldly Surreal Tattoos Sure To Blow People's Minds

If you're going to get a large tattoo that attracts attention then the least you can do is get some high quality art tattooed on your body, so people have something cool to stare at.

And if you're into designs both beautiful and totally bizarre then you're really gonna dig the strange ink Belarusian tattoo artist Ilya Brezinski is slinging.

Ilya's tattoo works tend to fall into two categories- highly detailed pointilist pieces and bold, inky black silhouette designs, with some designs utilizing both styles to spectacular effect.

See more Surreal Tattoos By Ilya Brezinski here

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BBC Reporter Invited To Hit Glass Bridge Panel With A Sledgehammer

Chances are people who have a fear of heights will not set one foot on the Zhangjiajie Canyon glass bridge, which is the longest and highest in the world, ever in their lifetime.

But the brave souls who don't care about the dizzying view, or the fact that the bridge is made of glass panels which sometimes crack under pedestrian weight, bet their life the bridge is safe.

And the builders of the bridge came up with a crazy way to prove to the world the Zhangjiajie is safe- they invited BBC reporter Dan Simmons to smack a glass panel with a sledgehammer.

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Notice they didn't ask Dan to smash a panel already attached to the bridge- the builders are crazy, but not stupid.

-Via Some News

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Chuck Palahniuk Is Releasing An Adult Coloring Book

Chuck Palahniuk made an impact on the world of popular fiction with his edgy, subversive and sometimes downright disturbing stories.

But now he's heading to a black and white world where few writers have gone before- the world of coloring books.

The book's called Bait: Off-Color Stories For You To Color and features nearly 50 pages of original art by top comic industry talent such as Joëlle Jones, Lee Bermejo, Duncan Fegredo and many more.

Bait will be Chuck's first coloring book and second short story collection all rolled into one odd book full of blank spaces which you can think of as art therapy while you're coloring it all in.

-Via Mashable

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Death Sucks

The death of a beloved pet can rock your entire family's world, and as we deal with the grief of losing our furry friend we realize polite speech isn't strong enough to express our true feelings.

As this comic from Brian Gordon of Fowl Language Comics shows we're allowed to let the sucks (or worse) flow freely when we're in mourning, especially if the deceased is the family dog.

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Lawyers Talk About The Cases They Regret Winning

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Lawyers who agree to take on a case have a responsibility to their client to represent them to the best of their ability, even if they find their client to be morally reprehensible.

My father is a lawyer. I asked him once why he didn't do family law anymore. He told me about a case where he was able to get a father full custody of his children. But by the end of the case my father wasn't convinced that his client was innocent of molesting the children.

That's a fact they accept from the first day of law school, which is why many lawyers focus on winning a case at all cost rather than trying to prove their client isn't a scumbag.

Defendant lawyer here.

It was a fatal dependency claim. Mother with 5 children, loving father taken away by my client's negligence. When it came to pay the dependants, I discovered that the children weren't the deceased father's. Wife had affairs and fathered children to other men.

We paid her children nothing. Two days before the conference where we outlined our strict position our client gets a phone call from dead father's best friend.

Before the father died the best friend came clean about the affair with his wife. Father forgave him, told him that he knew and loved them anyway. We get out of paying these children anything, and I've always felt bad about it, feeling as though I let one of the world's most beautiful human's down in the dead father.

The Lawyers of Reddit were asked "what cases are you sorry you won?", and their responses are sure to make you feel better about your job.

I represented the woman in this. Guy and girl lived together for a decade as a couple. She cheated on him so he left town. He ended up moving to Michigan and got a good job building cars. The guy retired a few years ago and got some kind of ERISA money from his pension. She found out about the settlement and ended up suing and getting half of the $ because she was his common-law wife.

Read 10 Honest Lawyers Reveal The Cases That They Actually Regret Winning here

Lawyers who agree to take on a case have a responsibility to their client to represent them to the best of their ability, even if they find their client to be morally reprehensible.

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Fred Armisen Proves He Can Imitate Any Accent In The World

Fred Armisen has proven he's one of the greatest comic actors of all time, and his show Portlandia proves he's also a talented comedy writer, but according to this interview segment from Conan impressions are his specialty.

In fact, the talented Mr. Armisen can imitate any accent in the world with such precision even a native speaker can't tell the difference. Watch and have your world transformed.

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Apparently he's also amazingly good at doing all of New York's accents as well, which he bravely demonstrated for nearly five minutes in front of New Yorkers at a benefit back in 2014.

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-Via Laughing Squid

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Who's Bad? The World's Fastest Talking Man, That's Who

You may remember John Moschitta, Jr., aka Motormouth, as the Micro Machines Man in those high energy toy commercials and all the other appearances he made in stuff throughout the 1980s.

John is famous for being the World's Fastest Talking Man, and he put his incredible oratory skills to good geeky use, like reciting Michael Jackson's BAD in under 20 seconds during a TV interview in 1987.

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Well, John's version isn't quite as catchy as Michael Jackson's original version, but at least it's a whole lot shorter!

-Via Boing Boing

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What Is The Most Played Song In The World?

Just because a song becomes “the most frequently played song in the world” doesn't mean anyone actually wants to hear the stupid song being played.

In fact, the most frequently played song in the world is such an earworm it will get stuck in your head for days with just the mention of two little words- Small World.

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This Exists began searching for the most frequently played song in the world after hearing Natalie Imbruglia's hit song "Torn" has played 75 times a day on Australian radio for over a decade.

And now that song is stuck in your head...

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-Via mental_floss

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Fan Recasts Captain America: Civil War For Different Decades

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The fact that Marvel movies like The Avengers and Captain America are coming out in the 2010s instead of the 1990s is mostly just a matter of studios dragging their feet and licenses changing hands.

Many of these movies were proposed and approved in the late 80s, and by the 90s development had begun, which eventually stuttered to a standstill until the 21st century.

Some of us have been wondering which actors would have been cast in the Marvel movies since they were first proposed, so Redditor thamonsta came up with a great idea- decade specific recasts for Captain America: Civil War.

He even took the premise a step further and came up with casts for the 50s (which is off since a few of the included actors weren't famous until the 60s) all the way through the 90s.

My personal fave is the cast from the 1970s- John Ritter as Ant Man and Burt Reynolds as Iron Man- sounds like a cult classic in the making!

See A Marvel Fan Recast Captain America: Civil War Through Different Decades here

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Guy Turns His Hoverboard Into A Dragon Ball Style Nimbus Cloud

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Hoverboards haven't existed for very long and yet the original models are already passé, because unless your hoverboard looks like a nimbus cloud from the Dragon Ball franchise it's old news!

Of course we're not talking about the kind of board Marty McFly took for a spin in Back To The Future Part II, because those actually are cool because they hover above the ground while our real life versions do not.

But that hoverboard sure does look like it's floating over ground when Yes Ranger rides it like a saiyan boss around Taipei, Taiwan.

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Yes Ranger has naturally become a local celebrity since he started riding his nimbus cloud around town, but rather than hog all the fame he posted a video on how to make your own hover-cloud and become a hero in your town!

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-Via io9

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Old Comic Book Panels Taken Out Of Context May Make You Feel Funny

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Comic books are one of the easiest places to find out of context comedy because all panels in the book relate to each other, so if you isolate one panel from the rest it reads as totally bizarro.

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Sometimes you can even isolate a cluster of panels and they will still read as sick and twisted, even if the tale being told takes place in squeaky clean Riverdale High.

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Of course, there are plenty of strange panels lurking around in old comics that don't need any help to tickle a reader's funny bone

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But remember- all of these panels were taken from kid-friendly comics, so any perversity you perceive is just a product of your naughty imagination!

See 25 Old Comics Without Context That Are Beyond Disturbing here

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The Time Morrissey Ruined Bill Cosby's Appearance On The Tonight Show

The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson played host to many big names with equally big egos to match, but on June 4, 1991 one big head obscured the rest- Steven Patrick Morrissey, aka The Moz.

This star studded episode featured Bill Cosby, Beau Bridges and musical act Morrissey, and even though Cosby and Bridges were huge stars, they simply couldn't find their way out of Morrissey's shadow.

For Morrissey had just finished his first U.S. Tour after cancelling his last show in Austin because the crowds had grown too rowdy, and those who couldn't make it to a show descended upon NBC studios in Burbank.

The rowdy fans ruined Carson's monologue, making him mighty grumpy, but Cosby soldiered on by adding Morrissey references to his jokes, which won the Moz fans over for a minute- until it was time for Morrissey to perform.

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As Morrissey performed Sing Your Life and There Is A Place In Hell the crowd went bananas, taking the show out of Carson's control.

When they inexplicably segued to Beau Bridges after Moz's performance it was clear the audience was lost, leaving Carson to get revenge the only way he knew how- by not thanking Morrissey for being his guest at the end of the show.

Read 25 Years Ago, Morrissey Ruined Bill Cosby's Appearance On The Tonight Show here

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Be Careful Who You Ask To Help You With Your Crossword Puzzle

Crossword puzzles can be quite challenging, and getting stuck on a word without an answer key can make the rest of the puzzle really damn hard to finish.

Heed this illustrated warning by Pain Train Comic, fellow word puzzlers, and be careful who you ask for help with your crosswords or you may have "a four letter word for the Devil's domain" to pay!

-Via Geeks Are Sexy

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Get Geared Up For A Day At The Fair With These Funny And Festive T-Shirts

I Choose Blue by Taylor Rose

Many families have a yearly tradition of going to the county fair, and even though they tend to see the same things year in and year out it's a tradition that few familes are willing to give up.

In fact, every member of the family loves going to the fair, and they always manage to have fun in that old familiar place so long as they get to do what they've been looking forward to for the last year.

If you're heading out to the fair this summer you'll want to look good, and there's no better place than the NeatoShop to buy a shirt guaranteed to get you lots of love!

When you wear a geeky t-shirt to the fair people are sure to check you out

I'd Pug Me by Hillary White

And it's up to you whether you keep your geeky style tasteful

Melts In Your Mouth by Vincent Trinidad

Or declare your allegiance to the delicious dark side

Meat Skull by Andrei Verner

Continue reading

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Surreal 16th Century Illustrations Of Eye Diseases Caused By Witchcraft

Back in the simpler days of “science” people often believed maladies were inflicted upon their bodies by witches, who used evil spells to terrorize the good Christian folk on behalf of Satan.

Belief in witchcraft was extremely common in the 16th century, and yet the Scientific Revolution was making people seek more concrete explanations for their afflictions.

German physician Georg Bartisch attempted to provide these answers with his illustrations, and he spent his whole life studying eye diseases and their cures and became a pioneer in the field of ophthalmology. 

Georg also believed witchcraft was often the cause of eye disease, and thought horoscopes and astrological charts were an important part of diagnosing and curing these diseases.

See Jeepers Creepers: Surreal Illustrations Of Witchcraft-Caused Eye Diseases From The 16th Century here

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The Epic Mego Action Figure Playsets Of The 1970s

Action figure sales started climbing in the 1960s thanks to the deployment of G. I. Joe, and by the 1970s the action figure industry was set to conquer the world of toys.

But as more kids got into collecting those action packed pieces of plastic, and more of their favorite franchises received toy treatments, their figures needed a place to play.

The epic playsets created by toy companies like Mego introduced the idea of using a colorful and highly detailed set to take action figure playtime to the next level, giving kids a stage so they can let their imagination run wild.

The Mego playsets were particularly popular because they were freakin' HUGE!

They were also faithful to the source material and full of little artistic touches for kids to discover as they took action figures on a tour of their new digs.

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See more from The Great Mego Playsets Of The 1970s here

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Toddler Has A Hilarious Reaction To His Grandpa's Roar

The world can be a wondrous and terrifying place for toddlers, as they start to explore on two shaky legs and learn to approach that great big world full of adults with caution.

But there's one lesson many little tots don't learn until it's too late- don't come running every time your mommy calls.

Little Jack learned this lesson the hard way, and during the filming of this video he also learned to watch out for grandpa's gruff side.

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I hope Jack grows up to be a prankster and gets his grandpa back good!

-Via Mashable

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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Beautiful Documentary About The Intense Onbashira Matsuri Festival

Japanese festivals are almost always based around a shrine, and the festival is seen as a way of renewing or blessing the shrine through art, ceremony and mass prayer.

But the Onbashira Matsuri, or Sacred Pillars festival, is different than the rest because it features lumberjacking, brawling, swimming and extremely dangerous log riding portions not for the faint of heart.

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This wonderful video by OH! MATSURi concisely captures the feel of this rare festival, which is held near Lake Suwa in Nagano every six years and has supposedly continued uninterrupted for the last 1200 years.

I could see a festival like Onbashira catching on in the Pacific Northwest, only with less praying and more drinking.

-Via Laughing Squid

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A Live Action Re-Enactment Of The Hobbit's Battle Of Five Armies

There are lots of different games based on the writings of J. R. R. Tolkien, games that allow players to participate in classic battles from the books, such as the Battle of Five Armies from The Hobbit.

But there's nothing like the smell of nerdiness in the air as you and your costumed compatriots battle it out in live action, and LARPers in the Czech Republic don't mess around when it comes to re-enactments.

They staged an epic Battle Of Five Armies in a forest near the town of Doksy, Czech Republic, but this wasn't your average duct tape and cardboard LARPing crowd- these guys came to fight hard in detailed costumes and full makeup.

Photographer David W. Cerny was on the scene when the most epic battle in LARP history took place, and a good time was had by the several hundred who took part in the event, although it proved to be a bit too much fun for some.

See more from The Hobbit's "Battle Of Five Armies" Re-Enacted In Czech Republic here

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My Laptop Is Set Up To Take A Picture After 3 Incorrect Password Attempts

People are horrified when they discover someone has been using their computer without their permission, so they install security software that takes a picture when an incorrect password has been entered too many times.

They expect to see some random sneak or sneaky relative caught trying to use the comp without permission, but Imgur user pigeonkitty received this shocking picture via text alert instead:

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Hacker cat has been caught in the act, and now pigeonkitty knows who used her credit card to order ten kilos of catnip and that cat-sized nuclear submarine...

-Via Twisted Sifter

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Sometimes Corrupt Files Are Better Off Dead

Coders get a swollen head when they start using their coding skills to save corrupt files from the brink of digital destruction, but some corrupt files should simply be left to Rest In Pixels.

For as this comic from CommitStrip shows us- if a file can be rebuilt from scratch in a tenth of the time needed to recode it back to life then there's no need to call in the coders.

Of course, all of this could have been avoided if the artist simply used a staggered save system... Save often people!

-Via Geeks Are Sexy

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The Richest Families In Florence Have Remained The Richest For Nearly 600 Years

Old Money families often claim that wealth stays with the wealthy, but we've all seen how quickly the winds of fortune can shift, especially in this age of tech stocks and economic turmoil.

But those Old Money families think this way because it's all they know, and for many of them life without wealth is but a bad dream.

In fact, several families in Florence have managed to hold on tight to their fortunes for nearly 600 years, according to research conducted by Italian economists Guglielmo Barone and Sauro Mocetti.

Using tax records from the 1427 Census of Florence all the way through the 2011 fiscal year Barone and Mocetti discovered the richest families in Florence have had the same surnames for the last 600 years.

This system wouldn't really work in most other cities in the world, but Florencian family surnames are "usually highly regional and tend to pass on linearly", so they're most likely part of the same rich families six centuries later.

Read The Richest Families In Florence In 1427 Are Still The Richest Families In Florence here

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This Strange Device Is The Future Of Gunshot Wound Treatment Technology

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Patching up a gunshot wound can be really tricky, and even experienced surgeons sometimes find it quite difficult to stop the bleeding, which complicates the entire surgery.

Add in the fact that many gunshot wound victims bleed out before they even make it to the hospital and you'll see how important it can be to plug up a gunshot wound as quickly as possible.

This is the thought behind the XSTAT by RevMedx, the sponge-filled dressing device that plugs up a gunshot wound with “expandable, tablet-sized sponges” that serve as a Rapid Hemostasis System.

The sponges are injected into the wound site, where they expand and effectively stop blood loss until the victim can receive proper treatment.

The XSTAT was approved for military use in 2014, and it recently saved a soldier who would have bled out if it weren't for the XSTAT:

The femoral artery and vein were transected and damage to the femur and soft tissue left a sizable cavity in the leg. After a self-applied tourniquet stopped the bleeding, the patient was transferred to an FST for evaluation and treatment. After proximal and distal control of the vessel was achieved, several hours were spent by the team trying to control residual bleeding from the bone and accessory vessels. Throughout the course of the roughly 7-hour surgery, multiple attempts at using bone wax and cautery on the bleeding sites were unsuccessfull and the patient received multiple units of blood and plasma. Eventually, the FST team opted to use XSTAT and applied a single XSTAT device to the femoral cavity— resulting in nearly immediate hemostasis. The patient was stabilized and eventually transported to a definitive care facility.

Read more about This Bizarre Gunshot-Plugging Device Just Saved Its First Life here

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Blacksmiths Create Propane Powered Replica Of Voltron's Blazing Sword

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As far as fictional swords go Voltron's flame-spitting Blazing Sword is definitely one of the coolest in the cartoon galaxy. Of course, it doesn't hurt that it exudes fiery energy, an attribute that makes it seemingly impossible for fans to replicate.

Enter Man At Arms: Reforged, the geeky guys who forge the fictional swords we've dreamed about wielding since we were kids.

The Man At Arms crew managed to make a propane powered replica that is fully functional and always on fire, meaning it's actually capable of defending the universe.

(YouTube Link)

-Via Sploid

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Profile for Zeon Santos

  • Member Since 2012/08/04


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