Zeon Santos's Blog Posts

Guy Falls Asleep At Work, Internet Sends Him On Photoshop Adventures

(Image Link)

It's not uncommon for people to fall asleep at work, but most of the time they go and grab a cup of coffee or tea and take a walk to wake up, getting away with passing out while on the clock.

But bad employees like TheOrangeDuke (aka sleeping beauty in the image above) don't care about getting caught, and they'll sleep for hours at their desk even if it's only their second day at work.

When his fellow employees found TheOrangeDuke crashed out at his desk they took the logical next step- they submitted his photo to Reddit for a hard day's work in a Photoshop Battle.

His fellow employees were clearly sympathetic about his lack of sleep, and even though they poked fun at TheOrangeDuke they secretly wished they were snoozing too.

(Image Via Professor_Rix)

But then things turned ugly when TheOrangeDuke's boss showed up in his dreams, threatening to slash his wages and make his employed life a living nightmare if he didn't wake the hell up!

See Guy Falls Asleep At Work, The Internet Takes Him On Photoshop Adventures here

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Tinder Users Who Were Extremely Candid With Their Dating Profile

(Via Reddit)

Many people on dating sites like Tinder tell lies to help them hook up, and it's so common nowadays that everyone assumes our dating profiles are as padded as our resumés.

But those who like to keep it real don't mind letting a potential match take a peek behind the curtain and see who they really are, even if that means they get left swiped more often.

(Via Reddit)

Insecure daters could learn a thing or two about how to live fierce and fearless from these brave Tinder users, and their profiles are a refreshing change of pace from the usual pack of lies.

If you're totally conceited then be up front about it, that way your dates will know what they're getting themselves in to before they come face-to-face with royalty.

(Via Reddit)

See 14 Tinder Users Who Were Very Candid With Their Profiles here (barely NSFW due to language)

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Terrible Marketing Mistakes Nobody Seemed To Notice

Marketing disasters are some of the most buzzed about incidents in the world of product branding and advertising, because people barely remember most good ads but they always remember a failure.

And yet companies will continue to blunder when it comes to marketing because they believe constantly changing their look and advertisements keep them fresh in the eyes of consumers.

Who can forget the time Nike decided their line of clothing created to honor female Olympians need the slogan "Gold Digging" emblazoned across the chest, now that's keeping it fresh!

The best a big brand can hope for is that nobody will notice when they fail miserably with their latest marketing campaign, which happens more often than you'd think.

Heck, nobody stopped drinking Bud Light after they put the rapiest sounding slogan ever on their bottles- "The perfect beer for removing 'no' from your vocabulary for the night".

I bet the people responsible for that ad campaign wish their crappy beer could remove memories as well as vocabulary words!

(Image Link)

See 8 Massive Disasters In Marketing No One Noticed here (contains NSFW language)

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Pronounce Every Word In This Poem Correctly And Prove You Are An English Pro!

If there's any truth to My Fair Lady then English tutors who taught people proper pronunciation liked to use clever poems as training tools, which would make the poem "The Chaos" by Gerard Nolst Trenite the ultimate tongue trainer:

Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer...

Miss C first posted about "The Chaos" back in 2010, a poem which was written in 1922 to demonstrate how ridiculously difficult proper English language pronunciation can be.

And now we have a video example to help guide us through the over 100 lines of pronunciatin' pain.

(YouTube Link)

Read "The Chaos" by Gerard Nolst Trenite in its entirety here

-Via The Poke

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A Strange Short Film About A Life Preserver Floating In A Sea Of Tires

Life preservers don't get to see as much action as fellow donut shaped objects, the car tires, but they stand out more because they're flashy and colorful yet utilitarian.

And if you ever lose your life preserver among thousands of discarded tires you'll be able to spot it in a second, just look for the bright orange ring bobbing along the surface of that rubber sea.

(YouTube Link)

Here's what Spanish artist Pejac has to say about his film "Heavy Sea":

The desolate images of environmental havoc seen here are real—no CGI, no Photoshop, no illusions. It’s a simple mixture of art direction and the scourge of human waste. ‘This project was actually born some years ago when I painted ‘Heavy Sea’, a water-colour artwork featuring a lifesaving ring in a sea of disused tires. Later, during a voyage abroad, just some months ago, I found myself in front of that very same landscape. It was a poetic nightmare made real.

-Via Laughing Squid

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Drunk Monkey With A Knife Threatens People Outside Bar In Brazil

Only a drunken buffoon would think it's a good idea to hand a knife to a wild animal, but for a monkey to swoop in and snatch up a butcher knife from a bar it's a brilliant idea

Witnesses in Patos, Paraiba, Brazil say this mad monkey came into the bar, drank a glass full of rum then grabbed a kitchen knife and started threatening the men in the bar, leaving the women alone.

Lt. Colonel Saul Laurentino of the local Fire department had this to say about the incident:

"It was a bar staff oversight that ended with the monkey drinking some rum and taking the knife,"

(YouTube Link)

At least a monkey with a knife could work for tips, there's no appealing to a crab's sense of capitalism when he gets his claw on a knife!

-Via FAIL Nation

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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People Who Accidentally Dressed Like Inanimate Objects

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Don't you hate it when you discover to your horror that you've accidentally dressed like an inanimate object?

It's even worse when your mean students call you out on your objectifying fashion sense, posting side-by-side comparison pics online for all to see.

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There 's something to be said for wearing clothes that appeal to a person's love of color, texture or pattern, but when the combination immediately makes them think of a tacky carpet you're doing fashion wrong.

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But hey, maybe your inanimate object inspired attire will earn you a cool new nickname, like Rita the Rug or Carpet Carrie!

See 11 People Who Accidentally Dressed Like Inanimate Objects here

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Polite Prankster Protects Students From Rain With Giant Patio Umbrella

Having to cross campus to get to class while it's pouring really sucks, especially when you know you're going to be stuck in class sporting soaking wet clothes and soggy shoes.

So imagine the students joy when Luke Donohue of LAHWF showed up and escorted them to class under a giant patio umbrella he snagged from Starbucks, proving he's the kindest prankster of all time.

(YouTube Link)

I'm surprised more college students don't resort to appropriating those giant umbrellas when it's all wet outside!

-Via Guff

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These Comics Prove Cooking Is Basically Impossible

(Comic Via PoorlyDrawnLines)

A good cook will often take their culinary skills for granted, because they most likely learned to cook when they were young and can't remember what it's like to feel lost in the kitchen.

On the other hand, those who seriously can't cook see the skill as some kind of high level wizardry, and when they try to do anything more than boil a pot of water the skill of cooking seems impossible.

(Comic Via OwlTurd)

But if they can figure out which ingredients taste good together, and the amount of time and temperature needed to safely cook it all, you may one day manage to make a decent meal!

Just remember this- it's all about the ingredients, so choose wisely...

(Comic Via For Lack Of A Better Comic)

See 6 Comics That Prove Cooking Is Basically Impossible here

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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The 50 Egg Roll Challenge

Certain cylindrical foods are a big hit with the competitive eating crowd because they're easy to chomp down by the dozen, but I can't recall ever seeing an eating contest involving egg rolls.

On one hand they seem like they'd be fairly easy to eat, and tasty enough to keep the eater going, but the fact that they're deep fried makes them seem like a heart attack inducing choice for an eating challenge.

Well, nobody has ever accused "Megatoad" Matt Stonie of being a health nut!

(YouTube Link)

-Via Laughing Squid

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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The Truth About The Deadpool Movie

Deadpool proved he has what it takes to make lots of moolah as a leading man when his movie Deadpool made over 130 million dollars on its opening weekend, making some people wonder what's so great about that masked merc Deadpool.

But as this comic by Julia Lepetit of Dorkly proves Deadpool is less about the character Deadpool and more about the actor Ryan Reynolds' rise from the ashes of the Green Lantern fiasco...or maybe it's just a super cool superhero flick about Deadpool.

-Via Geeks Are Sexy

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Six Of The Most Embarrassing Historical Artifacts Ever Discovered

When archaeologists uncover historical artifacts they're hopeful their find will be noteworthy and tied to a well known figure or civilization, or at very least something they can be proud to share with the world.

But dedicating your life to archaeology means sometimes you dig up King Tut's mummified erection instead of his treasure, and your important discovery is a bit embarrassing to announce to the public.

However, archaeologists know amazing discoveries are surrounded by hundreds of crappy ones, and the trick is recognizing the well used toilet seat from the Roman Empire you found near Hadrian's Wall in Northern England as the diamond in the dung that it is!

See The 6 Most Embarrassing Historical Artifacts Ever Discovered at Cracked (Contains NSFW material)

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Kanye West's Craziest Tweets

These days Kanye West is known less for his "music" and more for his utter lunacy, and it's anybody's guess whether the whole thing is just a cry for attention or simply the result of fame taking a toll on his mental health.

If Kanye wants people to take him seriously ever again in his lifetime he should probably stop posting all those crazy Tweets and cancel his social media accounts!

But if you're a fan of Twitter based comedy then you'll be hard pressed to find any Tweeter nuttier, zanier or more madcap than Kanye West, he's like the (insert crazy comedian's name here) of our time!

See the 25 Craziest Kanye West Tweets Ever here

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The Official Disney Movie Matrix

When people get tired of creating content about alternate princess costumes or easter eggs found in Disney films they resort to formulating opinion based pieces that start all sorts of arguments.

The Official Disney Movie Matrix is one of those opinion based, argument inducing pieces.

Now that you've taken a look at the way Willie Muse and Amir Khan ranked and classified some of your favorite Disney films you've probably got a few bones to pick with them.

Why did they relegate The Black Cauldron to the bottom left corner when it's clearly belongs on an entirely different matrix labeled "awesomest of all Disney films"?

Why is Lilo & Stitch sitting squarely in the middle when it's totally out of this world? And Hunchback of Notre Dame is "genuinely great" while Fox And The Hound is "not your favorite" and "doesn't hold up"? Poppycock!

-Via College Humor

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Why It's Better To Cut Off The Comb-Over And Embrace Being Bald

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The comb-over is the last bastion of the bald(ing) and desperate who refuse to accept their hair loss and think that by sweeping strands across their bare pate they're effectively conceal the baldness.

Some guys go bald and that's okay, and guys who see the comb-over as a hairstyle are on the borderline of acceptable, but if you think you're fooling the world with your comb-over think again.

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And when a toupée seems like a better option than the windswept shape you brush your hair into every morning it's probably time to head to the barbershop and tell 'em to give you the friar tuck.

(Image Link)

See Someone Needs To Tell These 12 Men That Their Comb Overs Are Not Doing It For Them here

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We Can Barely Contain Our Excitement About These Bear Themed T-Shirts!

Bears are the big, burly and sometimes scary critters we humans love with a passion, and even though they haven't totally made up their minds about us we can't get enough of them!

No matter what kind of animal makes your spirit soar there's a shirt that shows off your wild side available at the NeatoShop, home of the most hair raising designs on the 'Net!

Bears come in all shapes, sizes and colors

Coolest Bears On Earth by Tobe Fonseca

And whether they're monochromatic and super lazy

The Pandas Are Sleeping by Japu

Or colorful and full of magical bear energy

Electric Bear by Qetza

Bears are absolutely the coolest!

Ice Cream Bearstack by HelloTwinsies

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Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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An Interactive Guide To 79 Different Styles Of Beer

The craft beer revolution is in full swing, and there are so many types of beer out there that some of them sound made up, leaving those who thought they knew their beer feeling a bit befuddled.

But as you'll discover when you visit the interactive visual guide to Beer Styles at CraftBeer.com there are many different shades, degrees of opacity and flavors of beer out there, from the dark and roasty stout to the lightly colored yet cloudy sour.

The image above is just a small sampling of the 79 styles featured on their Beer Styles page, with a brief description available when you hover over each image, or click in to get the full scoop on each style of beer.

With a little help from this nearly exhaustive guide you'll know what to order next time you're faced with a row of taps at the bar. Hoppy days are here again!

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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Have You Seen This Muppet? Her Name Is Skeeter, Last Seen In 1991

Some of the main stars of The Muppet Show had their backstory expanded when they were shown as babies during a flashback scene in The Muppets Take Manhattan, and then those Muppet Babies got their own cartoon show.

Jim Henson's Muppet Babies further expanded the Muppet lore and showed us why Kermit, Fozzie, Scooter, Gonzo and the rest of the gang are such close friends.

But there was one cute little Muppet who disappeared right after Muppet Babies went off the air in 1991- Scooter's twin sister Skeeter.

Skeeter was cute, bubbly and much bolder than Scooter, an empowering figure for little girls who was never seen outside of that animated nursery.

So why was Skeeter resigned to the animated realm, denied that signature fleece and foam Muppet body she deserves?

Read Her Name Was Skeeter: The Mystery Of The Missing Muppet at mental_floss

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38 Colorful Slang Terms From Colonial Times

For some the English language already has way too many "vulgar" terms, but those of us who like a bit of colorful language in our lives are always on the lookout for new entries to add to our book of bad words.

People in Colonial times used all kinds of smutty slang terms like crinkum crankum, apple dumpling shop and twiddle-diddles that sound pretty classy when compared to the coarse terms we use for those body parts today.

And thanks to Francis Grose's book Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue: A Dictionary of Buckish Slang, University Wit, and Pickpocket Eloquence, which was first published in 1811 and is now available in its entirety via Project Gutenberg, we can talk trash like they did in the olden days.

Read The 38 Most Amazing Vulgar Slang Terms From Colonial Times here

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The Most Hardcore Way To Shred An Electric Guitar

Legendary guitarists don't use industrial machinery to shred on guitar, but Auguie Henry of SSI Shredding Systems, who never got to live out his rock 'n' roll dreams, prefers to let the Dual-Shear Shredders do all the shredding for him.

For Auguie, the sound of an electric guitar being shredded by the whirling Dual-Shear blades is the sweetest rock ballad he will ever play.

(YouTube Link)

Watching this video may result in feelings of nausea and dizziness if you love guitars, but you've gotta appreciate the efficiency of their shredding machine!

-Via Laughing Squid

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5 Tolkien Villains Too Big For The Big Screen

The works of J.R.R. Tolkien have yet to be fully adapted for the big screen, and even though Peter Jackson's films delivered a few dozen hours of material from Tolkien's stories lots of great content and characters haven't made it into the movies.

Some of the biggest and baddest villains in Tolkien's lore, such as Morgoth, the first Dark Lord, or Ungoliant, mother of all giant spiders in Middle Earth, were featured in The Silmarillion, a posthumous collection put together by Christopher Tolkien that many see as the prequel to The Hobbit and The Lord Of The Rings.

Morgoth will definitely make his way onto the big screen if an adaptation of The Silmarillion is ever made, and when he does we may get to see his dragon Ancalagon the Black in action.

Ancalagon was so large and fearsome it was said he could "blot out the sun from miles away", and when he died his fallen body was responsible for destroying a volcanic mountain range, which led to the destruction of the northwestern portion of Middle-Earth.

Something tells me that sequence will be done in CGI...

See 5 Tolkien Villains Too Intense For The Big Screen here

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Florida Teen Bluffs His Way Into Being A Doctor By Opening His Own Medical Clinic

Many kids who grew up in the 80s and 90s dreamed of becoming a young doctor like Doogie Howser, because he made the whole thing look so cool. But there's a reason most doctors have to go through nearly a decade of schooling before the lives of patients are put into their capable hands, and that's because untrained doctors can lead to untimely deaths. However, those thoughts never entered 18-year-old Malachi Love-Robinson's mind when he set up the New Birth New Life Medical Center and Urgent Care LLC in Palm Beach, Florida. His bio at the website says,

Dr. Malachi A. Love-Robinson is a a well rounded professional that treats, and cares for patients, using a system of practice that bases treatment of physiological functions and abnormal conditions on natural laws governing the human body. Dr Love-Robinson utilizes physiological, psychological, and mechanical methods, such as air, water, light, heat, earth, phototherapy, food and herb therapy, psychotherapy, electrotherapy, physiotherapy, mechanotherapy, naturopathic corrections and manipulation, and natural methods or modalities, together with natural medicines, natural processed foods, and herbs and nature’s remedies.

Not only did he set up the website, he was also seeing patients! According to the Charlotte Observer, the Florida Department of Health sent him a cease-and-desist order, but Love-Robinson continued to practice.

The health department called the Sheriff’s Office and members of the Palm Beach Narcotics Task Force to investigate. They sent in an undercover officer. After that officer received a medical exam and advice from the young doctor, they arrested him.

Last year, Love-Robinson was briefly detained by West Palm Beach police after he was found wandering around St. Mary’s Medical Center wearing a doctor’s coat and interacting with patients. Kent said Love-Robinson, then 17, was in his office and introduced himself as an anesthesiologist, but Kent became suspicious because of Love-Robinson’s youthful looks.

The teenager’s grandfather said it was a big misunderstanding, and that Love-Robinson never claimed to be a medical doctor, just a holistic doctor, for which he had online degrees. Now Love-Robinson has been arrested and charged with practicing medicine without a license, and with any luck Malachi will get to play doctor again...with his cellmate!

-Via The Daily What

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Dax And Kristen Do Africa

Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell are one of those Hollywood couples who like to share their love with the world, appearing alongside each other in everything from commercials to big budget movies.

And while it may seem a bit sappy at times their partnership is also enviable, sharing the spotlight and helping each other shine.

But they are both actors after all, and sometimes they don't know how to shut off that star power and just enjoy a trip abroad, which results in the creation of "projects" like this ridiculous music video called "Africa".

(YouTube Link)

They said their "sole objective was to rage hard and honor Toto properly." Mission accomplished famous folks!

-Via FAIL Blog

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The Dos And Don'ts Of Funeral Etiquette

With virtually every death comes the funeral service, where people get together to bid the dearly departed farewell and hopefully get a bit of closure from the whole experience.

But these memorial gatherings also make people feel mighty anxious, as they wonder what to wear, who to bring, and whether they should attend if they're of a different faith.

As a rule the dress code is conservative and earth toned, you should bring kids because they'll brighten spirits at the service, and out of respect for the dead you should leave your religious hangups at home.

Read 9 Dos And Don'ts Of Funeral Etiquette at mental_floss

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A Hilarious And Honest Review Of Tetris

Believe it or not, there are actually gamers out there who have never played Tetris, and for their sake someone needs to deliver an honest and trustworthy review of the game so n00bs know what they're getting into.

But Video game vlogger Darkk Mane is definitely the wrong man for the job because, for one thing, he keeps calling the game "Teetris".

It's like come on, how are you going to review a game if you can't even read the title? (NSFW due to language)

(YouTube Link)

Man, if this review had come out back in 1984 Tetris might not have made it out of the Soviet Union!

-Via Laughing Squid

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What Is That Small Pocket On Your Jeans Meant To Hold?

It's something most wearers take for granted, and something we all use to hold different things, but when asked few people actually know the intended use for that little pocket on your jeans.

We know it's handy for holding change, loose keys, packs of gum and lighters, but what did Levi Strauss actually intend jeans wearers to do with that tiny pocket?

Well, back in 1873 when jeans first came out most men carried pocket watches, and that little pocket is where the timepiece was meant to be held, for easy access while working.

-Via Esquire

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Project Offers People A Chance To Anonymously Message Their First Love

It's hard to forget your first love, especially if they're the "one that got away" or, adversely, the one that you ran away from after a messy breakup, and most of us leave that first relationship with some unspoken sentiments.

Whether these sentiments are good or bad most exes have a burning desire to speak their mind after a breakup, so artist Röra Blue is giving them the chance to have their say with the #UnsentProject.

Röra turns unspoken sentiments people submit to her, plus the color the sender associates with their first love, into small notes she sticks up around town.

Now the exes can have their say without having to face their first loves, and the world can share a smile about the time they felt the same way about someone they once loved.

-Via Dose

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Preacher Rails Against The Satanic Wickedness Of Wonder Showzen

Once upon a time MTV aired a twisted satirical kiddie show called Wonder Showzen, which featured puppets doing inappropriate things, on the spot interviews that made people angry, and overdubbed clips from old kids shows like Vegetable Soup.

Wonder Showzen was obviously meant for adults and was cancelled after its second season about 10 years ago, but that didn't stop pastor Daniel Castle from condemning the show for being a gateway drug to Satan addiction.

It seems pastor Castle thinks that quaint little MTV show was the real deal, and he's not gonna stand by and watch the youth of America be "spiritually exploited" by one the most evil shows ever made.

(YouTube Link)

"I've got the spirit in me, and it's yummy in my tummy" Now I see why pastor Castle took the show so seriously...

-Via Dangerous Minds

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This Dog's Scream Is Worse Than His Bite

This is Cody, isn't that a cute name for a scruffy little dog?

Cody is a seemingly ordinary animal when he's running around playing with his fellow pets, but when Cody opens his maw he lets out a scream that sounds like something you'd hear in a horror movie.

(YouTube Link)

Some dogs will do anything to fetch their human's attention, but Cody's methods are a bit ruff on the ears, and the nerves!

-Via Boing Boing

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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The Trippiest Cat Video On The Internet

The internet was built upon the backs of hard working cats who let themselves be filmed, photographed, dressed up and harassed for the sake of human amusement.

And because of our fascination with cat videos we search, and sometimes actually stumble upon, a cat video that's like no other we've ever seen.

Viaje al cielo de los gatos, which roughly translates to "a trip to cat heaven", is one of those videos...or is it?

(YouTube Link)

Turns out this isn't an ordinary cat video, it's a segment from the rarely seen 1964 film The Three Lives Of Thomasina, where Thomasina gets a taste of heaven before being sent back because she has eight more lives to go.

It may predate the internet by three decades, but it's definitely the trippiest cat video I've ever seen online!

(Terrible quality video with original English voice over here)

-Via Dangerous Minds

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Profile for Zeon Santos

  • Member Since 2012/08/04


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