Zeon Santos's Blog Posts

The Five Dates We'll All Go On, Illustrated

Most dates have certain key elements in common-the fancy restaurant that charges way too much, the dater who only agreed to go out with you for a free meal, the awkward conversation or, even worse, coming face-to-face with the dreaded babbler.

When you meet someone you really like you should hang on tight and play the dating game right, so you can go on that most amazing of all dates- the hung-over bed date!

Comic artist AC Stuart presents the succinctly named strip 5 Dates You'll Go On, which plays out pretty slice-of-life right up until the very end...

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An Honest Interpretation Of "Baby It's Cold Outside"

The song "Baby It's Cold Outside" has become a staple of the holiday season, but personally I've always found the lyrics to be a bit creepy.

The guy in the song sounds like he's trying to politely insist that the woman stay with him, and he's practically willing to pretend like there's a snowpocalypse going on outside to keep her at his side.

It's the kind of insistence that often leads to an uncomfortable situation (and sometimes allegations of sexual harassment), but at least it also led to a hilarious video starring Scott Aukerman and Casey Wilson!

-Via Funny Or Die

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Ten Of The Worst Photoshop Fails Of 2015

Image manipulation software is used on everything from social media selfies to magazine spreads these days, and some celebs won't allow images of themselves to be released without a Photoshop touch up.

This pursuit of digital perfection leads to unrealistic beauty standards, strange moments when the star isn't recognized without their "makeup", and some delightful Photoshop disasters that make us LOL.

Remember when Kim K posed nude in the desert and her posterior began to swell 'neath the desert sun? Well now ya do!

And what about the dog calendar butthole cover up scandal that made a poor little pug cry and caught the attention of the ASPCA?

Do what you want with Kim K., Photoshoppers, but leave that poor puppy alone!

See the The 10 Worst Photoshopped Pictures Of 2015 here

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Actors Who Had No Clue What Their Movie Was About

It may seem impossible for an actor to play a role on camera while having no clue what the movie they're working on is about, but money makes people do funny things.

Actors often receive scripts and don't bother to read the whole thing or ask the producers what their character and scene are all about, which leads to a "WTF am I doing in this movie?!" moment.

Judi Dench was completely lost while playing Aereon in The Chronicles of Riddick, and when she was asked about the film in 2015 she replied ""I've never watched it and I don't think many other people have."

That kind of cavalier attitude is nothing new in Hollywood, and actors have appeared in movies they hate simply for the money from the beginning, even if that hated film is later seen as a classic.

British actor Leslie Howard played Ashley Wilkes in Gone With The Wind, a role he despised in a movie he hated so much that he never bothered to watch it in it's entirety.

But Leslie didn't endure that cinematic tripe for the money- he was offered the opportunity to produce another movie if he would just suffer through a "terrible lot of nonsense" called Gone With The Wind.

Read 6 Actors Who Had No Clue What Their Movie Was About here

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The 10 Most Googled GIFs of 2015

 photo unexected john cena_zps6mk79eys.gif

Those of you who thought the internet's interest in GIFs would have died out by now were dead wrong, because the animated magic is alive and well on the interwebs!

Taking a look back at the most popular GIFs of 2015 means asking Google for their official results, which shows movie star/madman Shia LaBeouf holds the number one spot with this clip from his bizarre motivational video.

 photo shia just do it_zpsnleklvht.gif

The GIF at the top of this post is entitled Unexpected John Cena and it ranked number two on Google's top ten list, with Drake's Hotline Bling dance in GIF form coming in at number three.

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Want to see who else made Google's top ten list? Check out The 10 Most Popular GIFs of 2015 here and let your eyeballs fill up on the year's best!

<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/user/whysteriastar/media/unexected%20john%20cena_zps6mk79eys.gif.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v600/whysteriastar/unexected%20john%20cena_zps6mk79eys.gif" border="0" alt=" photo unexected john cena_zps6mk79eys.gif"/></a>

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DEADPOOL- CHIMICHANGAS - Vote For The Guy Who Can't Die!


With all the clowns, deadbeats and villains running for President in 2016 wouldn't it be refreshing to see a candidate speak their mind and actually make a promise they can keep? Well nobody speaks their mind like that merc with a mouth Wade Wilson, and he'll make good on his promise to deliver chimichangas for us all! That's why we're urging you to ignore all those creeps, weirdos and sourpuss scumbags and vote for the guy who puts his money where his mouth should be and vote Deadpool for President in 2016. Remember- you could do a lot worse, and at least you'll get a free chimi out of it!

Get geared up for election season with this DEADPOOL- CHIMICHANGAS t-shirt by Kakha, it's the stylish way to cast your vote for the candidate who won't disappoint!

Visit Kakha's NeatoShop for more ridiculously cool designs:

God Of Mischief Totoro Pika Tokyo Ghoul-Kaneki

View more designs by Kakha | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

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You've Been Spooked - It Took 45 Minutes To Print This Message!

You've Been Spooked by ThanksAnyway

Kyle decided to stay late because like a lot of his young urban professional brethren he was trying to work his way to the top of a money pile so he can coast through the rest of his life. He had been working so long that the green letters on his screen started to run together, and Kyle wondered when those nerds would get around to making color computer monitors. He checked his watch, noticed the time was now 9:30 p.m. and decided to call it a day. He turned off his computer, stood up and put his jacket on and began to walk towards the elevator when he heard a faint voice calling his name. He stopped and listened closely for the sound, but heard nothing. He though "must've been the wind" and started to walk away when computers all over the office suddenly sprang to life, and every printer in the place started printing dot matrix nightmares...

Take your geeky style back to a simpler time with this You've Been Spooked t-shirt by ThanksAnyway, it's sure to make an impression on those who take modern computing for granted!

Visit ThanksAnyway's Facebook fan page and Tumblr, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more strange and wonderful designs:

Pixix Be An Insbearation SWF Keep It Dank

View more designs by ThanksAnyway | More Video Game T-Shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

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Ugly Anime Christmas Sweater - One Mighty Neighborly Tee

Ugly Anime Christmas Sweater by CoyoDesign

The holidays are the time of year when we feel like being more neighborly, and if you're looking for advice on the subject you should pay a visit to the neighbor who gives everyone a warm and fuzzy feeling- Totoro! He would make the perfect Christmas ambassador, to show folks how fun and filling the holiday festivities can be. There would be no more need of sleigh rides, we'd all ride on the catbus, and the gifts would come straight from a studio called Ghibli, makers of your wildest dreams...

Add some anime cheer to your geeky wardrobe with this Ugly Anime Christmas Sweater t-shirt by CoyoDesign, it's an adorable way to spread some good cheer throughout the new year!

Visit CoyoDesign's Facebook fan page and official website, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more delightfully geeky designs:

Freddy And Friends Are Ready For Halloween Pixel Neighbor Black, White and No Moon Little Tree In Your Pocket

View more designs by CoyoDesign | More Anime T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

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Unicorn Zombie - What's That Magical Stench?

Unicorn Zombie by RicoMambo

Unicorns are majestic and beautiful creatures when they're alive, but when they are turned into one of the walking dead all those good looks go right out the window! If you ever see a zombie unicorn shambling around the fantasy forest you'd better hope it doesn't know you're there, or it will do a whole lot more than just eat your brains. Magical and wholesome as they may be in life, the zombie unicorn is one of the most evil creatures you'll ever encounter, and I hope you have a good healer in your adventuring party if you ever run into one in the wild!

Bring a touch of putrid beauty to your geeky wardrobe with this Unicorn Zombie t-shirt by RicoMambo, it's the most colorful way to change the way people see unicorns...and zombies!

Visit RicoMambo's Facebook fan page, official website, Tumblr and Twitter, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more dark and geeky designs:

Space Unicorn Conquerors Tomb Rider Spider Web

View more designs by RicoMambo | More Horror T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

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Man Accidentally Sends Five-Year-Old Son To School In Obscene Sweater

Ugly Christmas sweaters are all the rage these days, and those knit nightmares have gone from something you dig up at a thrift store to win a party contest to common holiday wear for men, women and children. 

But young kids don't always get why the ugly sweater they're wearing is funny, and therefore might get sent to school wearing something inappropriate for an elementary school age audience.

When Imgur user angryhamzter sent his five-year-old son to school in this ugly sweater he claims he didn't think twice about why Merry Christmas was written in yellow, that is, until his kid's kindergarten teacher pointed out the problem.

It's a hilarious sweater and a clever way to teach kids not to eat the yellow snow, now that's what I call educational!

-Via Distractify

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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Student Recreates Her Mom's Italian Travel Photos 30 Years Later

Children often wonder what it would be like to walk in their parents' footsteps, to go where they have gone and see what they saw before family life grounds them.

For most of us that idea of retracing our parents' footsteps is simply a flight of fancy, because of financial hurdles and the fact that our parents usually don't remember exactly where they went.

But for college student Lydia Coutré it was easy to go where her mother had gone when she'd visited Italy thirty years earlier because her mom took a ton of photos, which Lydia used as a pictorial tour guide.

Her trip down memory lane wasn't about the journey, because she would be spending a semester studying in Italy anyway, but it was no less important when completed and posted to her blog.

Lydia's photos show us how much, or how little, Italy has changed in the last thirty years, and the whole thing was great practice for her future career in journalism.

-Via People

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Fifteen Souvenirs Movie Stars Took From The Set

Shooting a movie can be bittersweet for some actors, because they're left with nothing to remember the experience by but hours of footage and a script.

If they're lucky they might walk away with the costumes they wore in the movie, or some sort of prop, but studios generally don't allow anyone to hang on to anything from the production, A-list actor or not.

But sometimes actors feel they must have a souvenir from the set, because shooting the film meant so much to them they simply can't bear the thought of living without a memento.

The Harry Potter films mean the world to cast members Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson, but the production had a strict "no props leave the set" policy in place, so prized souvenirs had to be snagged.

Daniel Radcliffe took two pairs of Harry Potter's glasses, which he says are "tiny now, but...very sweet", and Emma Watson went full klepto and stole Hermione's wand, Time-Turner and cloak.

Young actors aren't the only ones prone to snatching props from the set when they want a souvenir- veteran actor James Caan took home the iconic Royal typewriter after filming Misery, and Kathy Bates says she still has "that sledgehammer" sitting around her house somewhere...

Read 15 Souvenirs Film Stars Took From The Set at mental_floss

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This Ninja Turtles Fan Film Is A Bloody Good Time

People often assume the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic book series is for kids, since the cartoon series is so watered down, but the TMNT weren't afraid to get their hands dirty in the comics.

After all, Master Splinter did train the boys to be ninjas, so they should know more about chopping heads than sewer surfing, and yet there's very little blood shed in a TMNT film...until now.

(NSFW due to language and violence)

(YouTube Link)

Ninja Turtles: Veterans of the Night was created by TheMigmeisterPro (Miguel Diaz-Rivera) as his art school thesis project, and it already looks a heck of a lot better than the Michael Bay version!

-Via Polygon

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Some Of The Funniest Amazon Reviews Of 2015

Amazon continued to crush the competition in 2015 by offering Sunday delivery, talking about drone delivery and starting to offer both food and grocery delivery, so we don't need to leave the house ever again.

But for some the amazing product reviews are what really draws them to Amazon, and 2015 was a great year to read some random reviews.

From the discovery that a dietary supplement has hidden supernatural properties to the discovery that a tent shipped without a tarp has the power to cure hepatitis, all sold by the dream brokers at Amazon.

Read 17 Of The Most Hilarious Amazon Reviews Of 2015 here

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Guess Which Holiday Facts Are Actually Lies

Myths and legends are an inherent part of the holiday season, and that means many of the "facts" we've been told about the holidays are nothing but lies.

It's obvious Santa Claus doesn't really live at the North Pole, but you'd be surprised how many people think he wears red and white because of Coca-Cola, or that he's not actually tracked by NORAD. LIES!

(YouTube Link)

This simple little video from The Scene will probably be pretty easy for our readers to ace, but show it to your friends and family this holiday season and you'll be amazed by how much they don't know!


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Macaulay Culkin Is Kevin McAllister, Still Angry 25 Years After Home Alone

Macaulay Culkin was a cute kid best known for playing Kevin McCallister in the Home Alone movies, but nowadays he's known for strange side projects like The Pizza Underground and for being a bit of a reclusive character.

But when the 25th anniversary of the original Home Alone movie came along Macaulay was more than happy to get out of the house and reprise the role that made him a superstar for Jack Dishel's new web series :DRYVRS. (Video contains NSFW language)

(YouTube Link)

We all knew Kevin would be scarred for life by being left home alone by his cruel parents, but who knew the skills he learned while "defeating those bungling burglars" would prove to be so useful later in life?

-Via Polygon


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The Cast Of Star Wars: The Force Awakens Sing An Acapella Theme Song Medley

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You can tell the original cast of the Star Wars trilogy are glad to be back, and the new cast members appear to be ecstatic about jumping on board that space opera shuttle to superstardom.

Just to prove what a happy band of out-of-this-world actors they really are they came together to perform an acapella Star Wars theme song medley on The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon, with The Roots keeping the beat fresh.

(YouTube Link)

Chewie looks a bit put off by the singing, and the droids don't know what the heck to do, but seeing Admiral Ackbar singing along is the most shocking appearance of them all!

-Via BuzzFeed

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Blacksmith Settles The "Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel" Argument Once And For All

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There's a group of conspiracy theorists who believe September 11th was an inside job, and they cite the "fact" that jet fuel doesn't burn hot enough to melt steel beams as a way to prove their point.

These 9/11 Truthers have been getting on metalworker Trenton Tye of Purgatory Ironwork's nerves for over a decade, so he decided to settle the argument once and for all with video proof that's totally truthy.

(YouTube Link)

It's surprising that Trenton is the first guy to make such a video, since this argument seems to be fairly simple to debunk, only now he'll probably be lumped in as part of the "inside job"!

-Via Huffington Post

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Helpful Video Explains The Japanese Method Of Wrapping Gifts In A Flash

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The Japanese art of origami is all about folding paper into shapes, from simple and geometric to intricately detailed figures, and at their purest origami paper sculptures are made without using scissors, glue or tape.

This may make origami seem useless for wrapping presents, because we're taught to use tons of tape while wrapping presents, but the Japanese have a simpler, and much faster, way of wrapping.

(YouTube Link)

Inspired by the Takashimaya department store speed wrapper video that went viral last December, YouTuber BeatTheBush decided to break the process down for us so we can actually follow along.

And once you've mastered this speedy method of wrapping you'll need only three pieces of tape and the whole process will take only fifteen seconds.

-Via CountryLiving

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A Lost Michaelangelo Painting Has Been Hanging In A Living Room In Queens

Lost paintings are rarely recovered because "lost" is just a nice way of saying they were either stolen or destroyed, but sometimes famous works of art really are somehow lost in the shuffle.

Michaelangelo is one of history's most famous artists, and yet at least a half dozen of his sculptures, paintings and drawings are still lost, but there may be hope for one of his paintings.

The Kober family from Buffalo, New York claim to have a genuine Michaelangelo painting depicting the Madonna and Jesus hanging in their living room, and according to Italian art historian Antonio Forcellino they may be telling the truth.

Martin Kober has been trying to get the painting accepted as an authentic Michaelangelo painting since 2009, and while Italian art historians spent three years scientifically proving it's the real deal the rest of the art world isn't convinced.

What is it about "The Mike" that has American art historians refusing to accept its authenticity? Maybe they're waiting for Michaelangelo to come back from the grave and sign a Certificate of Authenticity?

Read more about the "Kober Michaelangelo" here

-Via The Mary Sue

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Photographic Evidence That Vladimir Putin May Be Immortal

Vladimir Putin is a strange man, that much we know, but what we don't yet know is why.

Is he an evil mastermind hell bent on controlling the world? Probably not, at least not while he's awake.

Is he from another planet? Surprisingly, tests show him to be of this world, but calling him an ordinary human may be a bit of an understatement.

In fact, this photographic evidence seems to indicate Vladimir Putin has been alive and making the same goofy faces while being photographed for at least a hundred years.

One guy took the theory a step further to suggest Putin may be 19th century Greek General Valtinos, which backs the immortal theory even more.

(Image Link)

Since we can't prove Putin is an immortal we can only speculate wildly and make crazy assumptions, but it sure would explain some of the bold moves made by the Russian President.

-Via Telegraph

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Hilarious Ad Shows Why We Should Apologize To Our Cats After The Holidays

People love to torture cats for their own amusement, from the constant petting and brushing to the indignity of having to eat on the ground instead of the table and crapping in a box instead of outside like Dog intended.

But for cats being forced to wear a costume so people can mock them is the most terrible of all tortures, and that's why cats hate human holidays.

(YouTube Link)

Our poor feline prisoners go through so much just to make us smile, so Temptations cat treats is urging cat jailers owners to apologize to their felines for all the humiliating costumes and human mockery.

-Via Laughing Squid

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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It's A Bad Brains Christmas, Charlie Brown!

The iconic soundtracks to the Peanuts TV specials were recorded by the Vince Guaraldi trio from 1965-70, and although we all love that jazzy sound it has been around 50 years of the same songs, so maybe it's time to explore our options.

Surprisingly, a song by Bad Brains goes perfectly with the Peanuts Christmas dance, updating that classic cartoon scene with some old school punk.

(YouTube Link)

It's fun to watch the Peanuts gang gyrate to the soothing sounds of 80s hardcore punk, proving Bad Brains songs and the Peanuts are two great tastes that go great together!

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Guy Quits Job After Burning Man, Spends 10+ Years Creating Sand Art

Many of the tens of thousand of people who attend Burning Man are moved by the experience, their lives "changed" by that funkiest of all festivals, and then they resume their normal lives and move on.

But for 44-year-old Andres Amador the 1999 Burning Man festival was so impactful that he quit his job soon after attending the festival and started creating sand art full time.

Andres earns a living by taking commissions from clients for pieces which are generally photographed from high above (drone?), the photos then used on postcards and calendars.

It takes Andres hours to rake designs into the sand but only a few minutes for the tide to wash it all away, leaving a clean slate for Andres' next meditative masterpiece.

-Via Bored Panda

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Forensic Anthropologist Creates A More Realistic Portrait Of Jesus

Jesus seems like he would have been a pretty cool guy, and since he turned water into wine and hung out with hookers he was probably the life of the party, that is, if he actually existed.

Whether we have proof of his existence or not Jesus has become quite a polarizing figure, and people are constantly claiming their actions are done in the name of the Lord- this guy right here:

If you're thinking that guy doesn't appear to be of Middle Eastern origin at all you're right, which is probably why some people have taken to calling him White Jesus.

This disparity didn't sit right with forensic anthropologist/medieval artist Richard Neave, so he decided to use his skills and the power of science to create this far more realistic image of Jesus.

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Richard used three skulls found at archaeological sites in Israel as the basis for his portrait, using computerized tomography to flesh out the skulls and create the composite image above.

This is just a guess at what a possibly fictional man might have looked like, but it does seem to go along with the idea that Roman soldiers couldn't tell Jesus apart from his disciples, since White Jesus would have stuck out like a sore thumb.

-Via Esquire

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Ten Shocking Incidents Caught On Live Television

The good thing about live broadcasts is they bring us information in real time and connect us to the outside world through our TV.

The bad thing about live TV broadcasts (at least according to the networks and the FCC) is they can't be edited, so the folks at home see whatever happens while the cameras are rolling.

When boxer Benny "The Kid" Paret was dealt the grievous injuries that would put him in a coma and kill him ten days later it was shocking but part of the risks you run by being a pro boxer. (Warning: violent footage)

(YouTube Link)

Viewers watching the fight on live TV were shocked to see the former Welterweight champ go down, and horrified to later find out about his death, but fight fans know death is always a possibility.

However, it's safe to say nobody knew what was going to happen when JetBlue Airways flight 292 made a crash landing of sorts at LAX in 2005, unable to land properly because the landing gear was twisted sideways.

(YouTube Link)

People watching live at home thought it might be the end for the 140 passengers and 6 crew members, but thankfully this shocking moment didn't result in any deaths or injuries.

See 10 Shocking Moments Caught On Live TV here (contains NSFW material)

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This Family Has Been Winning Christmas For The Last 13 Years

Lots of people share their funny Christmas card photos online, but only one family has been delivering the yule tide yucks for over a decade, proving they were born to do Christmas themed comedy.

They are Laura and Mike Bergeron from Aliso Viejo, California, and their Christmas cards give the gift of laughter and irreverent inspiration year after year.

The Bergerons clearly care about spreading joy during the holidays, and they realize that laughter is the gift that keeps on giving throughout the year.

But they also realize that funny Christmas cards are like crack- you always want more, and when it stops coming it leaves a hole in your life, so they'd better keep those hilarious Christmas card photos coming!

See A Collection Of The Bergeron Family's Funniest Holiday Cards here

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11-Year-Old Björk Reads The Nativity Story On An Icelandic TV Special

Back before Björk was part of The Sugarcubes she was just a young lady with dreams of stardom who appeared on an Icelandic TV special back in 1976, reading the Nativity story while onstage with some talented young musicians.

(YouTube Link)

It's hard to understand what people are saying in the video unless you speak Icelandic, and the English subtitles seem to be a bit off, but it's not hard to see why people were captivated by Björk's unusual beauty. And yet she somehow manages to look practically the same whether she's 11 years old or 50!

-Via Openculture

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Sci-Fi Themed Christmas Cards From Soviet Era Russia

When the Russian Empire gave way to the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics they officially, and legally, became a nation of atheists, a sharp turn away from their religious roots.

This made things hard for the devoutly Catholic, and really put a damper on the Christmas festivities, but holiday card artists managed to save the day by sneaking in images of Saint Nick with a little white lie.

These clever artists combined the Soviet space obsession with images of who they claimed to be "Ded Moroz", a wizard from Russian mythology who happens to look an awful lot like Santa Claus.

They combined icons from mythology, cool sci-fi stuff and traditional holiday fare into one utterly amazing outer space scene, creating the kind of Christmas cards most geeks would love to send out to this day.

Man, Soviet Santa is so much cooler than our syrupy, Coca-Cola sponsored version!

See more Engrossing Soviet Science Fiction Holiday Cards here

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Guy Who Jumped Off Golden Gate Bridge And Survived Tells His Story

It's safe to say that nobody in their right mind has ever jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, and whether the jumper is suicidal, suffering from a mental illness or on drugs they almost never live to talk about why they jumped.

The Golden Gate Bridge is one of the most popular sites in the world for suicide, and less than 1% of those who jump off the Golden Gate Bridge survive.

Kevin Hines is one of those less than one percenters, and he told his story of suicide survival to BuzzFeedVideo in hopes that others like him will seek help rather than end their own life.

(YouTube Link)

Kevin is also producing a suicide prevention documentary that shows the effect suicide has on the person's loved ones, which seems like it will be more effective than the standard "you have so much to live for" message.

-Via BuzzFeed

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Profile for Zeon Santos

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