Zeon Santos's Blog Posts

Alternate Versions Of Batman You'll Only Find In The Comics

You know what's the main problem with every single Batman movie adaptation ever?

Batman is never badass enough, because in order to create a faithful adaptation of the comic it would have to be Batman- The Movie starring Batman.

What's worse is we're constantly stuck with Batman reboots, where we get to watch Bruce begin his campaign against supervillainy all over again, which has been done to death.

But if you really want to see Batman become the god among superheroes he was meant to be you've gotta dig into the vaults and check out all the alternate versions of Batman found exclusively in the comics.

There you'll see Batman as a member of the Green Lantern Corps., a Victorian Batman hunting down Jack the Ripper, a few different versions of Vampire Batman, and the time Batman sat atop the Mobius Chair and actually became a god.

See 7 Badass Alternate Versions Of Batman You Can Only Find In Comics here

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There Are 5 Different Types Of Butts In The World

We like to think of our bodies as unique and totally different in shape than anyone else's body, especially in regards to our posteriors, but according to NYC plastic surgeon Matthew Schulman MD there are actually only 5 different types of butts out there.

And learning which type of butt we have can help us choose the right underwear and clothing that looks flattering on our fannies (the American usage, not the British).

The five basic booty shapes are square, round, V-shape, A-shape and upside-down heart, a list which Schulman MD formulated after examining "an estimated 50,000 butts from 35 countries and almost every U.S. state":

Dr. Schulman says your butt shape is determined by the placement of your pelvis and hip bones, the amount of fat you have and its distribution, the size of your underlying gluteal muscles, and the way your butt muscles attach to the thigh bone. The outcome is a butt that fits into one of five categories.

See There Are 5 Different Types Of Butts In The World here

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Ned Flanders-Inspired Heavy Metal Band Drops Their First Music Video

Ned Flanders hasn't inspired churchies to hit the gym and get ripped or to grow cool moustaches, but he has inspired one heavy metal band to trade in their leather jackets for sensible sweaters.

They're called Okilly Dokilly, and despite the evil sound of their songs they worship at the altar of Nedal, meaning you would mistake those guys for bible salesmen if you saw them on the street.

And even though they're from Phoenix, Arizona instead of Springfield, USA their first music video "White Wine Spritzer" will give you a taste of what it's like to live next door to The Simpsons!

(YouTube Link)

-Via Rolling Stone

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Wonderful Is A Wonderfully Absurd Music Video About Jealous Pubic Hair

People are constantly trimming off their pubic hair without a second thought, throwing it away like a pile of curly garbage even though all it wanted to do was please us and keep us warm.

We watch it fall away, toss it in the trash or flush it down the toilet, all so we look more appealing to a potential partner, but what if our ideal date was growing right under our belly buttons?

(YouTube Link)

This wonderfully absurd music video for Francobollo's Wonderful EP somehow manages to turn a ball of unwanted pubic hair into an interesting character. Oh, and the song is really good too!

-Via DesignTAXI

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How To Be Productive In The Morning

Are you a morning person? Well, good for you sunshine, because most normal people can't stand mornings.

We wake up with a head full of cobwebs, trying to squeeze that first cup of coffee in before something we see or hear makes us blow our top.

Sometimes we manage to survive the morning like true heroes, other times we do like the guy in this comic by Andy Kluthe- and sleep through our alarm because our dream life is so much better than the real one!

-Via CollegeHumor

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The Soothing Sound Of 14 Pitched Down Crying Babies

A baby's cry has a powerful effect on adults- some get annoyed and plug their ears, others have a more caring and maternal/paternal response, but either response proves a baby's cry is designed to get our attention.

But only the child's parents could ever claim to find the sound "soothing", and if the sound of a baby's cry is pitched down and layered about fourteen times it becomes the sound of infant hell.

(YouTube Link)

YouTuber Drunken Bear came up with the crazy idea to pitch down and layer the sound of babies crying, and then he made fun of us all for listening to it...and he was right!

-Via Laughing Squid

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The Greatest Differences Between The Walking Dead Characters On TV And In The Comics

The Walking Dead began as a faithful adaptation of the comic book series but soon went in a completely different direction thanks to budget restrictions, fan input and the logistics of creating realistic zombie hordes.

One way in which the show differs greatly from the comic is the cast of characters, and many of the most popular figures in the comic aren't featured on the show and vice versa.

Most people know the Dixon Brothers Daryl and Merle aren't even in the comics, but many of the other significant differences between the comic and TV versions will surprise you.

I don't want to give away any spoilers, but if you enjoy the TV show and/or comic and don't care about spoilers you should check out this Ranker list of The Greatest Walking Dead TV Vs Comics Differences.

It's interesting to see the differences spelled out in such a clear cut way, but it will straight up spoil some major character events.

And if you're on the fence about all things The Walking Dead I would suggest reading the comic book series before (or instead of) watching the show, because in my opinion it really is much more enjoyable overall.

See The Greatest Walking Dead TV vs Comics Differences here

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A Teenage Girl Sins To Lure A Serial Killer In Night Of The Slasher

Many horror movie monsters and slashers are actually acting as violent vigilantes, and the storylines firmly establish the victims as bad people who bring their fate upon themselves.

These movies also typically include a character who is pure and innocent, one who is terrorized by the villain but survives the encounter and sometimes ends up taking out the killer in the end.

They draw the power to vanquish evil from their innocence, but sometimes the innocent must commit a sin to draw out their deadly prey... (NSFW)

Night of the Slasher from Shant Hamassian on Vimeo.

Night Of The Slasher was written and directed by Shant Hamassian, and if you enjoyed the concept you should check out the Image comic series Hack/Slash, which is about a girl who hunts down slashers.

-Via GeekTyrant

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Laws You've Probably Broken Without Even Knowing It

Laws were seemingly made to be broken, and since new laws still can't effectively be relayed to all citizens every time they go into effect people often break laws without knowing it.

For example- If you live in California and you've received one of those annoying "singing" birthday cards you've probably committed the crime of throwing it away, because it's considered E-Waste.

Every year folks in Topeka, Kansas commit the crime of having a snowball fight, and yet the entire state remains at large.

And if you're thinking about selling your stuff on eBay without giving a cut of the proceeds to the IRS you're thinking like a criminal.

See 19 Laws You've Probably Broken Without Realizing It here

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Why Some People Can't See The Hidden Images In Magic Eye Pictures

Magic eye books and posters became trendy for a sec when they first came out in the mid-90s, and everyone was naturally fascinated with those strange static pictures only certain people could see.

The images look like noise fields yet "magically" contain a 3D image within, and people who have figured out how to see the hidden image love teaching others how to "look without looking" or "use deep focus".

(Image Link)

But some people can't see the hidden image no matter how hard they try, thinking Magic Eye pics are just a bunch of colored dots on the page when the real problem is with the viewer's stereo vision:

To view 3D stereo images, your peepers have to work together as a coordinated team. If they're not pulling together, you're going to have some glitches in your binocular (two-eyed) vision or stereo vision (where the two slightly different views from your eyes are combined in the brain). A number of things can cause binocular and stereo vision impairment — most commonly, deviations or misalignments of one or both eyes ("crossed eyes" or "wall eyes"), situations where one eye is dominant because visual stimulation either transmits poorly or not at all from the other, astigmatism or cataracts. If you think you have an eye problem, go see an eye doctor who can test and treat your stereo vision.

(Image Link)

And for those who are curious the top image is just waves, the second image is dolphins and beach balls, and the last and hardest one to see is puppies and a Christmas tree.

Read Why Can't Some People See Magic Eye Pictures? here

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Friday I'm In Love - The 13th Cure For Loneliness

Jason Love by Vincent Trinidad

Jason don't care if Monday's whack, Tuesday Wednesday teen attack, Thursday stab someone in the back it's Friday and Jason's in love...wait, can that masked murderer actually feel love in his rotting heart? He loves Mama Voorhees, that much is certain, but could he actually develop an attraction to someone who isn't an immortal slasher? And would his Mama approve of him dating someone who doesn't share in their belief that all humans who visit Crystal Lake should die a miserable death?

Show the world the lovable side of your favorite slasher with this Jason Love t-shirt by Vincent Trinidad, and your fellow fans will scream with delight every time they see you wearing this fun shirt!

Visit Vincent Trinidad's Facebook fan page, official website and Instagram, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more delightfully geeky designs:

Noodle Swim Beetle Juice Moonlight Cats Kitty Kong

View more designs by Vincent Trinidad | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

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Saving Money - You Put Your Change In The Wrong Piggy!

Saving Money by Naolito

Farmer Wilson should have known his daughter Samantha was too young to understand the difference between literal and figurative language, so naturally when he told her to feed the piggy with her spare change she did just that- to an actual pig. The poor little porker had no idea what an ordeal it would be to get a buck fifty in nickles, dimes and quarters out of his stomach, but at least he's back in his sty instead of being served up on a platter for Sunday dinner!

You don't have to save up very much to buy this Saving Money t-shirt by Naolito, and it's the kind of clothing purchase that will keep on giving as it helps you spread smiles wherever you go!

Visit Naolito's NeatoShop for more ridiculously geeky designs:

The Little Wizard I'm not a monster Empty Jar Fire Road

View more designs by Naolito | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

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iPoison - Taste The Evil

iPoison by daletheskater

People thought they were buying the cutting edge in computer technology when they brought home their new SnowApple laptop computers, but they were actually paying outrageous prices for a taste of digital poison. Rebecca White was the first victim followed by her seven cousins, who'd bought the SnowApple on Rebecca's recommendation, and before the scourge could be stopped dead the forensics team discovered the poison was spread through word of mouth. Soon people all over the world were lining up for hours to buy the equivalent of digital cyanide just so they could go online and spread the word about their shiny new purchase...

Grab this tasty iPoison t-shirt by daletheskater and warn the world about the danger of gobbling up every shiny new piece of fruit someone offers you!

Visit daletheskater's Facebook fan page, official website, Tumblr and Twitter, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more dark and geeky designs:

Pizza Planet Freddy Claws Mob Mentality The Foot Clan

View more designs by daletheskater | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

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Neon Droid - Star Swagger

Neon Droid by Dr.Monekers

R2 is still rollin' after four decades of beepin' and boopin' up on the big screen, but what is it that makes that little droid such a timeless sci-fi character? He ain't as flashy as some other droids who will remain nameless, his body shape isn't dynamic and super detailed like those transforming robots in disguise, and he doesn't roll into war quite as hard as the Daleks. So what is it about that little wastebasket shaped robot that makes the fans go squee forty years later? It's that D2 swagger, and it's not just the fact that he says beep-bop-boop-beep it's the way he says it, and even though it's hard to put your finger on all the reasons why R2 is one of the biggest and brightest stars in the sci-fi universe nobody had to force you to love R2!

Let the love for your favorite droid shine bright with this Neon Droid t-shirt by Dr.Monekers, it's a timeless design that your fellow fans will gravitate towards like moths!

Visit Dr.Monekers's Facebook fan page, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more fantastically geeky designs:

Exterminate The Last Great Battle The Deer God sumi-e Schrödinger's Surprise

View more designs by Dr.Monekers | More Sci-Fi T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!

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Oh Great, She's Here

If you're ever hosting a party and some jerk says "who invited that smelly beast?" when your dog comes walking into the room kick that person the hell out of your house immediately.

Who invited the dog? Nobody, that's who, because as this Heck If I Know comic shows nobody has to invite the dog- our dogs invite themselves, whether you like it or not.

So guests who are afraid of dogs, allergic or just dislike man's best friend for some reason need to suck it up when the host's dog crashes the party- or the host might bite.

-Via Geeks Are Sexy

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Before And After Pics Show What Happens When You Stop Drinking

(Image Link)

Daily drinkers have a hard time facing the fact that their drinking habit is damaging their body, and as long as they stay buzzed they can put off those worries for another day.

But when they finally receive that push in the right direction and stop drinking every day they soon see the visible effects alcoholism has on the body start to fade away.

(Image Link)

Their skin clears up, they start losing weight and generally look less weathered and more together, like a light has returned to their eyes.

(Image Link)

Some drinkers even find the strength to shave off their crazy beards when they get sober!

(Image Link)

See 10+ Before-And-After Pics Show What Happens When You Stop Drinking here

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Guy Asks Google Home To Tell Him Jokes For Fifteen Minutes Straight

People who tend to feel lonely are loving all those voice controlled devices we have around the house and in our cars these days, because they always have someone to talk to.

This humanistic element is a big selling point for people who don't want to feel like they're talking to a robot, and once they start chatting with Siri, Alexa, Cortana or Google Home they want to put a ring on it.

Comedy fan David Chen started seeing Google Home, and once the two got to chatting David discovered GH is quite the jokestress, with at least eight minutes worth of material before she starts going a bit cuckoo.

(YouTube Link)

David is nothing if not persistent, but I think he found GH's breaking point...

-Via Laughing Squid

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Photos From Mexico City's First Dia De Los Muertos Parade

Believe it or not this year marks the first time Mexico City had a Dia De Los Muertos parade, and as previously stated this spooky parade is all thanks to the opening scene from the James Bond movie Spectre.

Considering the turnout, and the quality of craftsmanship that went to all the amazing costumes, puppets and floats created for the event this parade will most likely become a new tradition in the DF.

And even though Dia De Los Muertos is typically a more solemn and localized tradition the Mexican people seem to have really embraced the idea of celebrating the lives of their loved ones who have passed on while watching a parade.

See 30 Amazing Photos From Mexico City's Day Of The Dead Celebrations here

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Weekdays Vs. Weekends

Mike Reno of Loverboy claims "Everybody's working for the weekend", but what about all those people who have to work on the weekend, and those who hardly work at all?

Which days do they get to look forward to on a weekly basis?

Some of the comparisons from this comic strip by Jacob Andrews won't make much sense to them unless we change the title from "weekdays vs weekends" to "work days vs days off".

There, isn't that better? Now it makes a whole lot more sense!

-Via CollegeHumor

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Creative Weapons Of The Medieval Era

Advances in weaponry during the Middle Ages made it easier for humans to slash, stab, flay, crush and chop each other into bits on the battlefield, which is why fantasy and history nerds still think medieval warfare is king.

Of course, those knights riding around all super shiny help sell the cool, and armies laying siege to castles with catapults and stuff, now that must have been really cool to watch...as long as you weren't inside the castle.

Sam O'Nella Academy made a video dedicated to the cool and creative weapons and tactics conceived during the medieval era, it's crudely drawn yet totally worthy of huzzah. (NSFW due to language)

(YouTube Link)

-Via Tastefully Offensive

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Photographer Digitally Removes The Tattoos Of Ex-Gang Members

Gang members get tattoos on their necks and faces to intimidate their enemies, show allegiance to their set at all times and to prove they're thugging for life.

The rest of their tats likewise show a lifelong commitment to the gang, but those can be covered up when need be and don't necessarily affect their daily lives.

So what are former gang members to do when they're trying to go straight but their face and neck tats always make them look crooked?

Eventually they'll be able to afford laser tattoo removal, but for now they'll have to settle for seeing themselves without tats in these perception altering portraits by photographer Steven Burton.

Some of the former gang members featured in Steven's "Skin Deep" series say they've been tattooed for so long they've forgotten what they look like without tats.

Steven hopes his portrait series will help ex-gang members remember who they really are beneath all that ink:

‘I was inspired by the homeboys/girls trying to change there lives against the odds,’ burton recalls. ‘the concept came to me when I watched the homeboys going through the tattoo removal process. the idea was to digitally remove the tattoos, present the before and after photos to the subjects and see how they would react. I knew that the subjects would be shocked by the images, and probably amused, but I didn’t realize the full impact these photos would have on them, nor was I aware of the kind of impact their reactions would have on me. it was a little surprising for everyone.’

See Steven Burton Digitally Deletes The Tattoos Of Ex-Gang Members here

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Awesome Math Tips To Aid You In Your Everyday Life

Do you have a hard time multiplying large numbers without pencil and paper? Are you always getting tripped up by those pesky fractions and percentages?

Want to learn some simple methods that will help you tackle the math problems thrown at us in our everyday lives?

Then you'll agree these math trick infographics created by Bright Side add up to awesome, because they present simple and fairly easy to understand methods for solving pesky math problems in your head.

Or maybe you prefer to count on your fingers? Now you can multiply on your fingers too, as long as the numbers you're multiplying are between 6 and 9!

If you're looking for math party tricks rather than actual equations then memorize this sentence, count the letters in each word and wow people with your ability to recall the first seven digits of Pi- "How I wish I could calculate Pi". Now you kinda can!

See 9 Awesome Math Tips That Will Help You Out In Everyday Life here

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Live As A Human

Our spoiled little housecats have no idea how good they've got it in life, nor do they understand how hard their humans have to work so their prissy little kitties can use the finest litter and eat tinned meat.

But if they walked in our human shoes for a few excruciating days they would see the true cost of these luxuries, and maybe they'd start cleaning up after themselves once in a while.

So if your cat starts acting all loud and uppity show them this Anything About Nothing comic, set the job listings by their food bowl and ask them to sign a rental agreement- that oughta shut them up!

-Via Geeks Are Sexy

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Anthony Kiedis Saved A Child's Life During The Filming Of Carpool Karaoke

James Corden has welcomed lots of interesting guests into his car for the Carpool Karaoke segment on The Late Late Show with James Corden, but he's never had a hero like Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in his car.

Of course, James didn't know Anthony was a hero when he invited him to sing and get silly in the car, but a dire circumstance presented itself during filming and Anthony sprang into action:

We danced off, we tied and then we were going to celebrate with some Mexican food on the corner. And a woman came out of her house, holding a child saying ‘My baby, my baby, my baby can’t breathe!’ We all ran across the street, the woman thrust the baby into my arms, the baby was not breathing and I thought ‘I’m gonna try and do a little baby CPR real quick, see if I can get some air in this kid.’ Tried to open the mouth, [it was] like locked shut. So I started rubbing the belly, bubbles came out of the mouth, the eyes rolled back into place, the ambulance showed up and I handed the baby over, who was now breathing and fine, and we went back to Carpool Karaoke.

(YouTube Link)

Looks like Anthony is familiar with Californication and Californichildcare, oh, and CaliforniCPR too!

-Via Uproxx

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Hilariously Hideous Men's Fashion Ads From The 1970s

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There is one word which is often used to describe 70s fashion, home decor, and the overall visual aesthetic of the era- hideous.

Visually there was lots to love about that era too, but it remained hidden behind the brown and orange interior paint schemes, polyester leisure suits and all that god awful macrame.

(Image Link)

But if you want to see the impact those hideous styles and color palettes had on society then check out the men's fashion ads found in magazines, where even the models don't know how to react to that gruesome garb.

(Image Link)

Fashion ads tried to sell the 70s fashion dream to dumb guys who didn't know better than to wear a belted sweater, and those who survived the decade swore to burn those clothes and never look back.

(Image Link)

See 30 Hilariously Hideous Ads of Men's Fashion from the '70s here

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Woman Gives Birth While Enduring Her Boyfriend's Punny Sense Of Humor

Women understandably have little patience for joking around while giving birth, but Tanya Ferguson's goofball of a boyfriend wasn't going to stop being punny just because Tanya was about to have a baby.

In fact, her boyfriend James Riley sees childbirth as the perfect time to test out his new extra punny material on poor Tanya, who keeps on smiling even though you know she's dreaming about strangling James.

(YouTube Link)

Cracking a few punny jokes to ease the tension in the birthing room would have been fine, but James' comedic pun-ishment went on for five full days...I guess that's why his kid is already filing for emancipation!

-Via Laughing Squid

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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Tooth Trouble

Parents present the concept of the Tooth Fairy to kids as a fun way to celebrate the loss of their baby teeth while adding another magical being to the pantheon of childhood gods.

But if you think about it the Tooth Fairy is the most horrifying of these imaginary beings, a fairy who gave up life among the other fairy folk to collect teeth from human kids- while they're sleeping.

And, as this strip from Electric Bunny Comics shows, the logistics of how Tooth Fairies collect the teeth can keep a kid up at night...

-Via Geeks Are Sexy

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New Developments In The Disappearance Of Amelia Earhart

Amelia Earhart has captured the imagination of generations since her disappearance in 1937, but as much as her disappearance has added to her mystique it also left her tragic tale without resolution.

So why haven't investigators been able to find her body?

Because they probably already did back in 1940, when a skeleton discovered on Gardner Island (now called Nikumaroro) was dismissed as male by a doctor and eliminated from evidence.

(Image Link)

But when The International Group for Historic Aircraft Recovery (TIGHAR) re-examined the skeletal evidence in 1998 they determined the bones found on that island in the South Pacific most likely came from a tall caucasian female.

Forensic anthropologist Richard Jantz recently took it a step further by comparing the skeleton's unusually long forearms to Earhart's own radius-to-humerus ratio:

In the British doctor’s notes, the humerus was reported to be 32.4 centimeters long. The radius was 24.5 centimeters – a ratio of 0.756 to the length of the humerus. Statistically, women born in the late 19th century (Earhart was born in 1897) had an average radius to humerus ratio of 0.73.

In other words, if the castaway was a middle-aged, ethnically European woman, she had forearms considerably longer than average. Dr. Jantz wondered if Amelia may have had similarly longer than average forearms. To answer that question we called on forensic imaging specialist Jeff Glickman. Selecting an historical photo of Amelia where her bare arms were clearly visible, and working with Dr. Jantz to identify the correct points on the shoulder, elbow and wrist for comparing bone length, Jeff found that Earhart’s humerus to radius ratio was 0.76 – virtually identical to the castaway’s.

We'll probably never know for sure if the bones belong to Amelia Earhart, but maybe it's time to simply accept these findings and put this mystery to rest once and for all.

-Via Fox News

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True Stories Of The Real People Behind The Memes

Memes introduce us to people and critters via perfectly captionable pics, and even though we don't actually get to meet these meme stars online we can make them say whatever we want.

But how much do we know about those ordinary people whose pictures were hijacked just so we can all write silly and stupid stuff on them?

Well, do you remember Overly Attached Girlfriend and the Guy Who Needs To Fart?

(Image Link)

Apparently those two meme stars went to high school together, and she very well may be the girl he was trying not to fart in front of in class!

And speaking of women you should never fart in front of- have you met the First World Problems Woman?

Her name is Silvia Bottini- she's an actress, model and super terrific public speaking teacher, so basically the perfect person to cast in the First World Problems meme!

Read 21 Stories of the Real People Behind Memes here

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Nobody Wants To Buy This Creepy House In Connecticut

Home is where the heart is and sometimes it can be a battleground, but pretty much everyone agrees having a home is better than being out on the streets.

And yet some houses seem to be totally unsellable due to their terrible location, poor condition or dark history.

But realtors aren't struggling to find a buyer for this house in Avon, Connecticut because of any of those reasons- they can't find a buyer because the house looks so creepy inside.

The walls look like they've been painted with blood, there is way too much copper in every room, and the decorative elements throughout the house are so jarring visitors (and potential buyers) can't wait to leave.

Maybe if buyers find out the house, priced at around $330k, is actually a contemporary art project by Fermata Arts Foundation founder Nikolay Synkov they'll stop being so revolted by the interior?

Nah, the only hope for this house of horrors is a complete interior overhaul!

See Scary House In Avon, Connecticut here

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Profile for Zeon Santos

  • Member Since 2012/08/04


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