When I lived in Louisiana I had a huge orb spider that would build a web on my back porch that would span about 12 feet across. She would make her web at night and a late night business meeting for the dog would make it possible to see what an enormous web she could make in a few short hours. Come morning the web and the spider would be gone only for the web to appear again in the same place the following night..
My family used to play candlepins when we lived in Massachusetts. When we migrated to Michigan bowling pins were so fat looking and strangely shaped. Candlepins takes more skill to play, IMO.
1963 When my family moved to Michigan from Massachusetts we lived at my aunt's house while our new house was being built. There was a half tame squirrel in the neighborhood. One day I was hand feeding it. My mothers yells at me not to let it bite me. I think her voice frightened it because he nipped my finger which bled. Mother says don't tell anyone. I did, at supper and my dad freaks out and we all go to the emergency part of the nearest hospital. They determine I need a series of rabies shots but the doctor says they have 2 serums and if they give me the wrong one I'll be a vegetable because a girl the week before got a wrong shot and it happened to her. I saw a rabies shot, a huge amount of handcream thick penicillin in a giant sized needle and a tetanus shot on a tray and ran out of the building going anywhere/nowhere just to get away. They dragged me back screaming and I got the shots. A whole series of them - 1 a day for 3 weeks. Turns out that squirrels don't carry rabies because their metabolism won't support it. grrr
OR you can buy a bag of fries and smear the grease on your neck and wrists. Then you'll really smell like fries at a much lower cost to your wallet. Many a time I have smelled fries that people ate for lunch on their hands and face and I doubt they knew that smell had lingered.
A farmer's animals are in total revolt and the man sees an ad in the paper for an animal psychic. He has nothing to lose so he calls the psychic who says he'll come by the next morning. Sure enough the psychic shows up, says he'll have to commune with the animals. A while later the psychic finds the farmer and says "Your horses are angry with you because you changed their bits from straight bars to triangular ones and its hurting their mouths when they pull things." "You're right!" says the farmer. "I can fix that." The psychic says "You aren't putting enough water in the pigs' pen so they can't roll in the mud to prevent sunburns." The farmer says "That's true. I'll take care of that!" The psychic then says "You cranked up the milking machines too high and it's hurting the cows' udders. They are very unhappy." The farmer says "OMG! You are totally right. I'll dial them back down. You are very good at this." The psychic then says "I communed with your sheep and -" The farmer yells "Oh, those sheep. They're all liars. Don't believe a word they say!"
My grandparents came to America in the 1910's and were processed through Ellis Island and their name was changed from MacNaughton to MacNaught. Got any explanation of that??
troll booth that 'Safe baby handling tips' was too funny. It reminds me of the holiday joke boxes that had fake advertising them with ads like gerbil like water bottle feeders for babies and as a bonus you get the weekender stew in a bag to teach baby how to chew food so you can take weekend vacations while leaving baby at home or Bacon scented fabric softener sheets. That one is surprisingly popular. Thanks for the laughs!
Wish I'd had that thing when the neighbor's baby started squalling. Actually, I could see kids launching their dolls across the room but please hide the puppies and kittens! FYI a seat belt would be pretty handy with this thing.
I guess I'll need a bank loan to afford that burger. We quit going to McDonalds when an order for 2 adults cost more than the cost of 2 meals at a sit in restaurant.