The following is an article from The Annals of Improbable Research, now in all-pdf form. Get a subscription now for only $25 a year!

Inventive, yet under-publicized devices
by Marina Tsipis, Improbable Research staff

Innovation breeds innovation, perhaps unendingly, as these eyeglass-wiper patents demonstrate.

Karwowska's Eyeglass Wipers (1959)
"Eyeglass Wiper," U.S. patent 2888703, issued to Klara Karwowska of Canada, June 2, 1959. Karwowska describes her invention in one all-inclusive sentence that begins:

What is claimed is:

The following is an article from The Annals of Improbable Research, now in all-pdf form. Get a subscription now for only $25 a year!

by Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Improbable Research staff

Rifles can be used to produce music. Colonel Gaston Bordeverry, a French marksman, devised a crowd-pleasing way to combine melody with the traditionally percussive nature of the machine.

Details, including photographs, appeared in The Strand in 1904, in an article called "Playing the Piano with a Rifle" (vol. 28, December, 1904, pp. 580--81). (The article was quickly reprinted, with minor changes in the text, in The Musical Age, vol. 48, no. 8, December 24, 1904, p. 243).

The Strand says that the colonel, while highly skilled at firearms, had no formal and little informal musical training. It took him months to learn how to play only one song: the intermezzo from Pietro Mascagni's 1890 opera "Cavalleria Rusticana."

The colonel created the piano with help from Parisian pianoforte maker Lucien Burgasser. Reportedly he had first approached British manufacturers. But, The Strand reported, "English makers passed the chance of inventing the instrument. It was too much trouble, and they did not believe in its feasibility."

The Strand describes in some detail the mechanics of the performance:

What readers will first notice from this photograph is that the piano appears to all intents and purposes just an ordinary instrument---it is a cottage upright grand--- save that it bears a most curious pattern of circles and notes. The circles are bull's- eyes---at least, some of them are---not larger in circumference than a shilling.

When mention of playing a piano with a rifle is made one naturally thinks that it is done in the ordinary way---by firing at the keys.

Tye Lombardi goes by the name Hellen Die at her cooking blog, the Necro-Nom-Nom-Nomicon. In keeping with the theme of her culinary arts, she has created a zombie Easter bunny! Yes this is really a candy rabbit, even though he's green, only has one eye, and his brain is showing through. Flanking him are cheerful, seasonal brain cupcakes. You can admire her bunny and cupcakes, or make your own, as the instructions are laid out for you at the Necro-Nom-Nom-Nomicon. -Thanks, Tye!

What would happen if you sent the combined forces of the humans, elves, dwarves, hobbits, and other characters of The Lord of the Rings against an invasion by the Galactic Empire, led by Sith Lord Darth Vader? It would certainly be an epic battle!

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Gandalf has magic, but the Sith have the dark side of the force. But wait, if it seems a little lopsided in the technology department, let's give Aragorn a light saber! It only seems fair, since Vader has a death star. This video by Alex Author calls itself a "fan trailer," but it's really an extended battle scene, expertly edited, to make the most of the action scenes from both franchises. -via Tastefully Offensive

A lady in Turkey took her two cats to the veterinarian. They've been there before, you can tell, and it isn't a pleasant memory. While one cat gets weighed, the other tries to "rescue" him from the clutches of the evil practitioner.

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You may think, "That's anthropomorphizing these cats. Who knows what he's really trying to do?" Well, watch the whole thing and tell me if there's another motivation for what he's doing.  -via Tastefully Offensive

IKEA has a reputation as a great place to find affordable furniture and everything you need to set up housekeeping plus meatballs, but at the same time, those long visits and tempting purchases can cause stress between couples. Is that what you really want? We only came here to get one thing! How are we going to get it all home? Put it together? Pay for it? To help, behold, the Relationship Saving Station, right inside the store!

But you probably won't see one of these in your local IKEA, because it's a one-off from Obvious Plant, aka Jeff Wysaski (previously at Neatorama). He set the whole thing up at his local IKEA on Sunday. No matter; let's see the rest of the "5 quick ways to ease tension with a loved one."

Scotland narrowly defeated a referendum on leaving the United Kingdom in 2014, but that was before the Brexit vote. Now the Scottish parliament is pushing for another referendum, which would allow them to divorce the UK and stay with the European Union. But there may be another possibility. Canadian writer Ken McGoogan has proposed that Scotland become a part of Canada.

Mr McGoogan says that if Scotland were to join Canada, it would enjoy a lot more independence and hold a lot more power than it currently does with Great Britain.

Scotland would be Canada's third largest province, with 5.3 million people, which would give it significant political sway. Add to that the millions of Canadians who, like Mr McGoogan, have Scottish ancestry, and you'd have a national-ethnic bloc about 10m strong, he reasons.

More importantly, Canadian provinces are in charge of more aspects of governance than Scotland has been afforded as part of the UK.

Sure, there's the whole Atlantic ocean between Scotland and Canada, but Hawaii is even further from the rest of the United States. Read more about McGoogan's plan at BBC News. -Thanks, John Farrier!    

April the giraffe at Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New York, has been pregnant forever, and the zoo's live webcam has been set up to capture the birth since February 23. In that time, hundreds of thousands of people have been waiting to see the birth live. The webcam was taken down temporarily when animal rights activists reported "sexually explicit content" to YouTube, but it was soon restored.  

Now it looks as if April has finally gone into labor, because the baby is moving, and April is pacing around as giraffes do. If you haven't already bookmarked the webcam, you might want to do so now to see the birth live. However, the park will no doubt have video of the blessed event viable soon afterward. The park's Facebook page will have updates. -via Fark

(Image credit: Animal Adventure Park)

Mixing Disney Princesses with a different pop culture franchise or genre has become a cottage industry -because we enjoy them! Artist Wilberth Gonzalez shows us how Disney Princesses are avid Pokemon collectors, but replacing their familiar animal sidekicks with Pokemon. See a collection of the images at TVOM.

The secret to dealing with a fictional apocalypse scenario is to not take it too seriously. After all, zombies only exist in movies and TV, so thinking about how really lame they are can take away all the excitement. This story is from Ice Cream Sandwich Comics. -via Geeks Are Sexy  

Benham is a small town in Harlan County, Kentucky. It was founded as a coal camp by International Harvester in the early 20th century. During a year my father taught science at the local school (which is now a hotel), I was born in the company clinic. At the time, my grandfather managed the company store, which is now the Kentucky Coal Mining Museum. The town has replaced coal mining with tourism as its most prominent business, and now it's even replacing coal as its energy source. The coal mining museum is installing 80 solar panels on its roof to provide light and heat for the building. 

Tre' Sexton said he was surprised when his company, Bluegrass Solar, was approached about the project. If there was one building in eastern Kentucky that wouldn't have a solar-power system, you'd think it would be the coal museum, he said.

“Really the first time that I sat down and was talking about it with everybody, I was like...are you for real? They’re really going to go for this?” Sexton said. “I mean, that would be like showing up at a bank and they ask you if you’d mind taking some of this money out of the vault.”

But putting solar panels on top of the coal museum makes sense economically, Sexton said. Public attractions like this one can't be profitable if they're dealing with expensive electric bills every month. And people in eastern Kentucky are becoming more interested in alternative energy options.

It's a sign of the times. Local officials welcome the idea. When the solar panel system is completed, any excess energy gathered will be fed back into the grid, which will benefit Benham's 500 or so residents.

A couple of days ago, mrbdun shared a cute snippet of his two-year-old son Lucas learning to catch. 

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Not only is it adorable, we are reminded that every one of us probably did this at his age; we just didn't get the proper documentation of it on video. Of course, redditors predicted that he might not be scholarship material in football, but he's bound to be an ace in dodgeball. Want to see what a difference two days makes?

Movies don't follow real world logic. If they did, there wouldn't be nearly as much conflict, or maybe because the audience wouldn't understand what's going on. Still, we have to wonder why the same stupid things happen in movie after movie.

Cracked readers explain that different pop culture logic in charts and graphs, with 19 of them rising to the top. Some concern particular movies or genres, some are even specific to a TV show, because those are made in Hollywood, too.

Nightcrawler is one of the X-Men, who has the ability to teleport himself just about anywhere. He's also a cat, who likes teleporting of the fun of it, in this video from Kaipotainment (previously at Neatorama).  

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The moral of the story is: lets hope cats never acquire the mutant powers of the X-Men. They'll just use them for their own selfish purposes. -Thanks, Kaipo!

Taylor Hirstein (HumorBagel) has perfected the art of the public fart video. Here, he lets passers-by know that something's coming before they know what it is.  

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Farts are always funny, even better when you don't have to smell them, and perfect when the perpetrator is not at all embarrassed. Almost everyone in this video finds it as funny as we do, even when he's cropdusting in a grocery store. -via reddit