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Ex-Cons Remember Their Worst Jobs After Being Released From Prison

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People who wind up in prison often learn skills while they're locked up to help them get a job when they finish their sentence, but a felony on your record reduces your job options to virtually nil.

So ex-cons are often forced to take whichever job they can get, and all that training on the inside ironically ends up being worthless on the outside due to their criminal record.

Writer and ex-con Seth Ferranti spoke with other ex-cons about the worst jobs they've had since they got out, and their answers were bad but not quite as bad as you'd expect.

Seth thought being a sauté cook sucked, but after talking to a guy who worked eleven hours a day cleaning cow crap, a guy who picked up trash at the city dump and, worst of all, a telemarketer he discovered cooking ain't so bad after all!

Read Ex-Cons Remember Their Worst Jobs After Being Released From Prison here


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Watch This Speed Crocheter Craft A Yarn Flower In 90 Seconds

It's go time. #jjcrochetinNYC #speedcrochet #lightscameraaction

A photo posted by Jayna Grassel (@jaynagrassel) on Mar 4, 2016 at 1:08pm PST

I'm constantly impressed by the talented artists who show off their skills online, and their videos are doubly impressive when the skill they're showing off takes years to master and the crafter is working at a blazing fast pace.

Here's a perfect example- a video filmed by Wired/Condé-Nast showing speed crocheter Jayna Grassel crafting a yarn flower in under 90 seconds.

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Jayna creates a ludicrously speedy 71 stitches per minute in the video, and says she can actually work faster when she's not uncomfortably positioned for the sake of the camera:

I went up, saw the studio, met a bunch of people and they told me to stand behind a table and crochet while they shot aerially. Um, I don’t crochet standing up. That’s crazy. So they got me a chair and I repositioned myself. But to be honest, it still wasn’t great. As any crocheter will attest, when you crochet your elbows rest almost at your hips, hands at about mid-stomach level. Normal. To get a shot, they had me stretch out my hands so they were centered over a table... It was strange and I’ll admit didn’t set me up to do my best. I was dropping stitches and wasn’t as fast as I’d been practicing.

-Via Laughing Squid


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This Dungeons & Dragons Tabletop Diorama Is A Gamer's Dream Come True

Some people don't really want or need anything on the hex mat when they're playing a tabletop roleplaying game, preferring to play solely using the power of imagination.

For the rest of us it's nice to have some visual elements to enhance our experience, including miniatures that actually fit our characters and some terrain pieces.

But miniatures master crafter Ryan Devoto wasn't content with using but a few measley scenic pieces for his Dungeons & Dragons campaign- he wanted a setting his miniatures could truly call home.

So Ryan, along with Michael Tiskus of Terranscapes, built an epic scale D&D diorama complete with a port full of ships, a village, a massive castle with full interior and more.

With a diorama so detailed and varied in terms of environment types the campaign practically writes itself!

See more detail shots from Ryan's amazing D&D diorama here

-Via Nerd Approved


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Green Screened Moments From The 2016 Summer Olympics In Rio

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Green seemed to be a dominant color in the Olympic Games Rio 2016- the green Reals Brazil paid to host the games, the green courts and fields where the games were played, the green backdrops, the green water in the pool...

It's safe to say green is the color which best symbolizes the 2016 Olympics, so creating some “green screened” Olympic moments makes perfect sense!

The green backdrops found throughout the Games made it easy for digital manipulator and Imgur user factionman to place the tennis court in any environment- so he naturally chose outer space.

(via GIPHY)

And even the gymnasts discovered they weren't safe from the green screen treatment even though they performed their floor routines on a tan mat.

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-Via Mashable, CollegeHumor, PetaPixel


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Dad Makes Edible Food Sculptures For His Daughter With Severe Allergies

There are too many gruff, cold and closeminded dads in the world as it is, what we need now are guys willing to be warm and loving fathers and boost their kids up instead of tearing them down.

Adam Perry is one of those kinder, gentler dads who discovered his daughter could only eat plain toast with sunflower oil for breakfast due to severe food allergies- so he found a way to make a bland breakfast fun.

He started using slices of toast to make food sculptures, and what started out as simple toasty shapes soon became a food sculpture smorgasbord.

Now his daughter isn't stuck eating plain old toast in the morning, she's eating tropical islands, bread crabs, bungalows, sail boats and boom boxes, or the most meta of them all- the toaster made out of toast.

See A Toast To This Dad Who Makes Edible Sculptures For His Daughter With Food Allergies here

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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Stupid Apps That No One Needs

You know what you need? An app that can measure how high you throw your phone in the air and lets you compete against players across the globe. Oh wait, you're saying that's a horrible idea and no one needs that? How about an app that tells you if it's dark outside? Or maybe you'd like an app that can help you simulate smoking a cigarette. 

So you're saying these are all terrible ideas? Well then, now you're ready to read the rest of this hilarious Thrillist list with some of the stupidest apps ever created.


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Don't Believe What You Hear on Those Celebrity House Tours in LA

Even if you've never been to Hollywood, you know that one of the big draws in the city are those celebrity home tours that show you the multi-million-dollar mansions of the rich and famous. Unfortunately for the people paying to go on those tours though, a recent investigation discovered that most of the homes on the tours actually belong to every day non-famous people. 

Naturally, some of the tours were more honest than others, with the worst of the bunch completely making up facts -claiming, for example, that Justin Bieber was actually banned from the US. The report did mention that Starline Tours were the best of the tours out there and while they still might tell a few white lies, most of the homes on their tours actually belonged to the celebrities in question.

Via LAist


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The Worst Behind-The-Scenes Movie Disasters Ever

Remember that great scene in Titanic where all the extras were running around while high on PCP-spiked clam chowder? No, oh, that's because it happened behind the scenes of the film, but even so, it's still an incredible story that you might never know about just watching the film.

This great All That Is Interesting slideshow (I know, you have to flip through all of the slides -it's not my choice but the information is entertaining) has all kinds of similar, horrible stories from behind the scenes of huge Hollywood films.


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Some of the Most Preposterous Pet Hair Cuts Ever

Some animals need their hair cut whether it's because the fur gets tangled too easily or because the pet would get too darn hot otherwise. It's not surprising then that some people figure that if their critter doesn't know what its hair cut looks like -they won't care how ridiculous it is.

While that line of reasoning seems logical enough, a look at the faces of the animals included in this top ten list of worst animal hair cuts know they are being madde to look a fool and they don't appreciate it. I anticipate that a lot of these pet owners are about to find a "present" on their pillow tomorrow.

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Dogs Sticking Their Heads Through Fences To Say Hi

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Dogs sometimes refuse to take no for an answer when they're desperate to say hello, and no bush, wall or fence can keep them from shoving their head through to greet their neighbor face to face.

This almost manic drive to see who or what is living next door can result in wrecked fences, tunnels dug in the dirt under walls, and a sad little pooch with a stupid look on his face when he realizes he's stuck.

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Of course, not all dogs are saddened by the prospect of being stuck, because they're just happy to be out of the house!

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See 10+ Desperate Dogs Who Just Want To Say Hi here

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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A Curious And Creepy Owl Theremin

Delightfully mad sculptor David Cranmer makes functional art pieces that put the fun in funky, and his strange contraptions often make a pretty funky racket too.

We've featured his Musical Liquer-Dispensing Machine, his Duck Machine, his Stuffed Badger Theremin and his Furby Gurdy here on Neatorama before, so we obviously give a hoot about David's amazing musical sculptures.

But this owl theremin is my favorite of the bunch by far, because it would look right at home in the Great Northern Hotel, the Addams Family house or the Haunted Mansion...or my house!

Flipping the switch labeled "Activate Owl" causes the owl to arise while the theremin starts up, and as the player waves their hand to make sweet, spooky "music" the owl silently judges them from on high.

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-Via Dangerous Minds


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Cinderella In Emojis

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Disney's Cinderella is a magical classic reminding us what we love about the fairy tale princess story. But if you don't have time to watch it, this adorable version told in emojis does a pretty good job of sumarazing the tale. Of course, that's hardly surprising given that it's made by amazing artists employed by Disney. Now if only I could use my Amazon app to order my own fairy godmother. 


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Seth Rogen Terrifies Shoppers With Animatronic Food

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When you go grocery shopping, you hardly expect your food to talk back to you, but that's the whole concept behind the new Seth Rogen film Sausage Party. That is why this grocery store prank to promote the movie just makes so much sense. Of course, the reactions of the unsuspecting shoppers are what makes it so darn funny -whether they scream, talk back to the foods or just laugh.

Via That's Nerdalicious

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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Horrifying Facts About The Vikings

Between Thor's presence in the Marvel movies and the hit History channel show there is a renewed interest in those savage Nordic warriors known collectively as the Vikings.

Known for their ingenuity and hardiness as much as their ferocity in combat, the Vikings were a diverse and loosely banded group of clans whose heroes were hardly what you'd call heroic.

Have you heard tales about the great Viking hero Erik the Red? Turns out his fellow Vikings saw Erik as too violent.

Erik found trouble with his fellow Vikings wherever he called home, and having a disagreement with Erik meant you and yours would be killed in cold blood.

His life was a series of deadly brawls and banishment, but he did sire the great explorer Leif Erikson, so his life wasn't all death and destruction.

Speaking of death and bodily dismemberment- it's funny that the Vikings found Erik to be such a brute, considering Vikings were known for bloody duels called Holmgangs, ritual sacrifice, infanticide and a brutal torture technique called the Blood Eagle.

Read 10 Horrifying Facts About Vikings here


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Unusual Uses For Mouthwash

Every day people take a swig from a bottle of mouthwash, swish, gargle and spit for the sake of oral health, but do they know what they're putting in their mouth?

The active ingredients in most mouthwashes are menthol, eucalyptol, methyl salicylate and thymol, powerful antiseptics and antifungals with a lot of different uses that you probably shouldn't swallow.

The antifungal properties in mouthwash make it great for soaking your feet, as it helps prevent athlete's foot and toe fungus, and it's good to disinfect your toothbrush in it for the same reason.

Now those uses make sense, but here's where the strange comes in- you can use mouthwash to wash your laundry.

Instructables author Penolopy Bulnick on her experience washing laundry with mouthwash:

Use about a cup of mouthwash instead of laundry detergent when you're in a pinch. I highly recommend using a more colorless and sugar-free mouthwash for this. I used what you see and didn't have any problems, but I avoided washing any whites or nice close just in case. I did wash a tan towel and it still came out tan.

Read 14+ Unusual Uses For Mouthwash here


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Missing Persons Cases With Crazy Twist Endings

Missing persons cases tend to make the friends and family of the victim fear the worst, and as the case winds on many lose hope of ever seeing the victim again.

But life is full of surprises, and detectives know full well that sometimes the facts of the case aren't what they seem, and the victim might not be a victim after all.

In 1957 cookware salesman and family man Lawrence Bader from Akron, Ohio ignored warnings about an incoming storm and took a boat out on Lake Erie, disappearing during the storm.

His damaged boat was found but Lawrence's body was never recovered, yet eight years later a family friend met Bader's spitting image in Chicago, now named John "Fritz" Johnson.

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Fritz insisted he was not Bader, and even agreed to let police take his fingerprints to prove it- and the fingerprints proved he was indeed Lawrence Bader.

He claimed to have a form of amnesia that not only erased memories but implanted new ones, but nobody will ever know for sure because Lawrence died of liver cancer before psychiatrists could sort it all out.

At least Lawrence disappeared on purpose, Scottish folk singer Shelagh McDonald didn't mean to disappear just as her career was taking off- she took some bad acid at a party in London, sending her on a terrible trip that instantly ruined her life.

Shelagh's bad trip lasted for weeks and wrecked her voice, so she effectively made herself disappear by moving back home to Scotland and cutting off all ties to her friends and former life.

Thirty years later she was living in a tent with her husband when she saw an article in The Scottish Daily Mail about her disappearance, and to the Mail's surprise Shelagh showed up at their offices very much alive.

Read The 5 Most Insane Twist Endings Of Real Missing Persons Cases here


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The Unbelievable Balloon Animals of Masayoshi Matsumoto

We're all familiar with your run-of-the-mill dog and giraffe balloon animals, but artist Masayoshi Matsumoto takes balloon tying into a whole new realm of artistry. Each of his intricate animals takes hours to complete and the end result shows that level of detail is absolutely worth it.


Amazingly, this is just Matsumoto's hobby as his real job involves chemical engineering. Right now he doesn't even sell any of his works, he just shares them on his Facebook and Twitter pages for free. It's amazing to think what he will do next and if one day he might consider doing this full time.

Via PetsLady


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Earth Has An Acne Problem

Apparently Earth is seen as a zit faced teenager by the other planets, which is why they all stay well away from that volatile youngster and its even more volatile inhabitants.

And like all good acne covered teens Earth will cleanse its surface with something that removes all the muck and burns like hell. What's it called again? Oh yeah, red hot lava.

So sayeth the drawer of Things In Squares, and so shall it be.

-Via Geeks Are Sexy


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Dad Photographs His Astronaut Son Going Where No Kid Wants To Go

It's hard for kids to be brave when they're faced with scary things like shots, barber shops and flying for the first time, but they're able to get through it all with support from their parents.

For some parents support means holding their child's hand, or wiping their tears away, but photographer Aaron Sheldon lent his son support by letting him dress up like an astronaut:

“The first shot we did in the project came about as my 4-year-old’s idea when I was helping him get over his fear of the doctors exam table. He decided to act brave like an astronaut and then asked if he could wear his spacesuit to his next appointment,”

Aaron continues to set up photo shoots starring his brave astronaut son, sharing the pics on his website Small Steps Are Giant Leaps in the hopes that other kids will be inspired to face their fears and dream big.

-Via design you trust

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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Going Out In Public When You're A Parent- Mom Vs. Dad

There's a perceptible change in attitude when you meet a stranger in public for the first time with your child in tow, and lately this change seems to be working out better for dads than moms.

For some reason people are quick to criticize mothers for the way they're raising their child yet see the father as a hero for spending time with his kids, overlooking the same stuff they just criticized the mom for.

This comic strip was written by Chaunie Brusie and loosely based on her experiences, but as we all know parental experiences may vary, so there's bound to be a dad getting dissed in public somewhere!

-Via Babble

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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Things That Are Awesome At Parties But Suck Everywhere Else

Parties are unique social events that feel completely detached from normal life, since the crazy stuff that seems completely normal at a party sucks in normal life.

Staying up until 4 a.m. while singing LMFAO songs at the top of your lungs is fun at a party, but combining these two things in normal life will make your neighbors think you're on meth.

It's funny how things we find tedious and annoying in our everyday lives feel just fine in a party setting, with a little help from alcohol and friends, of course.

And while shouting, crowds and staying up all night can stress us out in normal life they have the power to de-stress at a party.

Illustrator Annie Erskine understands how magical it can feel to party down with friends, especially when we've had to deal with crowds, insomnia and crappy music all week long!

See 6 Things That Are AWESOME At Parties And Suck Everywhere Else here


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Step-By-Step Guide To Building A Stone Veneer Fire Pit Patio

Don't you hate it when you start a home improvement project only to run out of supplies, money, time or motivation halfway through?

This often happens because we've chosen a project that's too difficult or costly, or we simply didn't plan it out well enough and we end up getting stuck.

So before you start a new project you'll never finish you should check out this inspirational step-by-step patio and fire pit build posted by arl227, which was made on the cheap but looks like a million bucks.

arl227 walks us through every step of the process, from digging out the trench to laying the cinder block wall to slapping down the concrete base and covering it all with stone.

It's a great guide for those looking to take on an impressively large scale project of moderate difficulty, or peruse the pics and be inspired to get back to work on your own home improvement project.

See full step-by-step instructions for Stone Veneer Fire Pit Patio project here

-Via ViralNova


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David Lee Roth's No Holds Bar-B-Que

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David Lee Roth was one of the biggest names in the rock world in the 80s and 90s, and he definitely played a major role in Van Halen's success as a band.

But the split was hard for Dave, and his style, act and attitude didn't age well, so by the 2000s he was struggling to stay relevant, much less famous.

Which must be why he decided to pay over half a million dollars in 2002 to make an off-the-wall feature length music video called David Lee Roth's "No Holds Bar-B-Que".

The feature length music video didn't revitalize Roth's career, but it gave his hardcore fans what they wanted- hot women wearing revealing clothing, raw Rock 'n' Roll, and Dave jumping around like a madman.

Oh, and I forgot to mention the kung-fu intro, who knew Dave had hand-to-hand combat skills? (Video is obviously NSFW)

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Apparently the video was never released to the public, and only recently resurfaced because Dave added it to his personal YouTube channel, so sorry the vid didn't get you gigs, Dave, but thanks for sharing this crazy gem with us all!

-Via Dangerous Minds


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This Impressive Supercut Shows Why Props Matter

Hollywood is currently experiencing a philosophical split between those who believe in the power of practical fx and those who don't see the problem with going full digital.

Many of the full digital filmmakers don't think it's worth the time and effort to create costumes, makeup effects and props when they can just hire digital artists to fake it all.

But, as everyone who saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine knows, real props can mean the difference between a believable effect and a glaringly obvious fake.

Why Props Matter from Rishi Kaneria on Vimeo.

Filmmaker Rishi Kane put this impressive supercut together to demonstrate the power of the humble prop, which should be required viewing for filmmakers who think digital props will ever replace the real deal.

-Via Laughing Squid


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A Heavy Metal Version Of The Jigglypuff Song

Jigglypuff is one of the cutest and cuddliest looking Pokémon, which makes him the most commonly underestimated Pokémon as well.

Because his hypnotic singing ability is extremely hard to resist, and even the toughest characters fall victim to his charm ability and fall fast asleep when he starts singing his Jigglypuff Song.

But metalhead THEoneNILS thought Jigglypuff's cute little song needed a heavy metal makeover, so listeners will start banging their heads instead of nodding off.

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THEoneNILS wasn't the first person to think heavy metal when they saw Jigglypuff perform, and this video still wins the award for most ridiculous Pokémon themed mashup of all time.

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-Via Nerdist


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The Seven Types Of Pets You'll Own In Your Lifetime

Unless you grew up with parents who didn't allow animals in the house, or you're severely allergic to animals, you've probably gone through multiple stages of pet ownership during your life.

We usually start out small with a hamster, hermit crab or goldfish, a barely-a-pet pet purchased because our parents don't have faith in our abilities to care for an actual pet.

But we show them when we help keep The Immortal animal alive for a large chunk of our lives.

By that point we're officially hooked on having a pet, and we've matured so much as pet owners that we're able to overlook our animals perturbing and peculiar habits.

Let experienced pet owner and illustrator Sarah Andersen walk you through all the pets you'll own in your life, so you can either see where you've been or where you're headed as a pet owner.

Currently I'm on number 6 but the cute little guy is quickly becoming a number 7.

See The 7 Types of Pets You'll Own In Your Lifetime here (contains NSFW language)

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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This Is What Happens When A Fly Lands On Your Food

Flies are everywhere, and even when we don't see them they're hanging around somewhere waiting for a chance to get at our food.

They aren't exactly subtle about their intentions either, and without hestitation a fly will land on our food right when we're in the middle of chowing down, making us wonder if the food is still safe to eat.

Well, here's the thing- flies eat really gross stuff like poop, rotten meat and toxic trash, and they vomit enzymes onto their food, or our food as the case may be, before they eat it.

But that's not how flies transfer some of the over 200 types of bacteria they may be carrying around, because as this DNews video shows the nasty stuff is actually sitting on the little hairs all over their legs and body.

(YouTube Link)

-Via David Wolfe

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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Perfectly Preposterous Nipple Tattoos

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Some people look for creative places on their body to get tattooed, so they don't end up with yet another MOM tattoo on their bicep or tribal pattern on their lower back.

For guys like these the nipple is more than just a torso accessory- it's a landmark for their tattoos to interact with.

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So instead of having Where's Waldo emerging from some stinky part of the body he can just hang out behind their nipple, where he'll be safe from the Waldo hunters until his shirt comes off.

People may accuse you of being a ham for getting a tattoo around your nipple, but your new ink will show them you're actually King Ham, with the power of the mighty T-Rex guarding your pec plug!

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See These Nipple Tattoos Are Too Ridiculous For Words here


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The World's Weirdest Food Vending Machines

Looking for some caviar or live crabs, but don't have time to stop at the shop or just simply don't want to deal with people? Then hit the vending machine instead. That's right, these are some of only a few of the totally weird products you can buy in a vending machine these days. If you're not in the mood for expensive snacks, then how about some fresh baked pizza or a baguette? This Thrillist list even features vending machines that sell beer and sausages, so you can Octoberfest like a pro.

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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Humorous Interpretations Of The 2016 Summer Olympic Game Pictograms

Everyone who likes to watch the Summer Olympic Games knows what each sport is called and a bit about how it's played, and if they don't they can always consult the official olympic pictograms for answers.

But what if you know nothing about sports, don't get pictograms, and would rather make crazy stuff up in your head about each event than actually learn about them?

Then you'll get a kick out of this Commemorative Guitar Picks graphic by Aaron Gillies.

Aaron has taken all the guesswork out of the official 2016 Summer Olympic Games pictograms and made them so easy to understand even people who can't stand the word "sport" can get in on the Olympic action. Go Sport!

-Via Laughing Squid


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Profile for Miss Cellania

  • Member Since 2012/08/04


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