Joss Whedon has come a long way from the days when he was writing for Roseanne, and since then many studios have asked Joss to write scripts based on their franchises.
But for some reason Warner Bros hired Joss to write and direct a Wonder Woman movie back in 2006 but by early 2007 the project had been cancelled, leaving us to wonder what a Whedon Wonder Woman movie would have looked like.
Fairy tale characters were way too calm and composed considering the morbid situations they dealt with during their stories, and they acted like these dark moments were no big deal.
Pushing an old hag who eats kids into an oven and leaving "the ungodly creature to be burned to ashes" should have scarred Hansel for life, and Jack narrowly escaped the clutches of a hungry giant, which would have left him with PTSD.
And, as this Electric Bunny comic shows, Little Red should have totally lost it when her grandma emerged from the wolf's stomach alive and unharmed, leaving them both in need of therapy and a long shower!
Somewhere along the way it was decided that people who play in bands aren't very bright, then rock stars were further stigmatized as being drunk, dumb and on drugs because some big names glamorized this lushy lifestyle.
In actuality many of the most famous musicians in rock'n'roll history were extremely intelligent people, who showed off their brainy side with their brilliant lyrics and the very name of their band.
The Doors were named after Aldous Huxley's The Doors Of Perception, which is a line taken from William Blake's The Marriage Of Heaven And Hell:
“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro' narrow chinks of his cavern.”
Stuart Murdoch got the name for his band Belle and Sebastian from French children's book Belle et Sébastien by Cécile Aubry, which was adapted into an awesome anime series in the 80s.
Modest Mouse's lead singer Isaac Brock named the band after a passage from Virginia Woolf's The Mark on the Wall:
"I wish I could hit upon a pleasant track of thought, a track indirectly reflecting credit upon myself, for those are the pleasantest thoughts, and very frequent even in the minds of modest, mouse-coloured people, who believe genuinely that they dislike to hear their own praises."
And last but not least we have Moby, the guy who was clearly named after Moby Dick, right?
Well, sorta- Moby was born Richard Melville Hall, and his parents started calling him "Moby" at a young age after telling young Richard Herman Melville is his "great-great-great-granduncle".
Back before there was barbed wire to contain them, microchips to track them and trucks to transport them across continents there was the shepherd, who would tend to their herd as if they were their own offspring.
The shepherd would let their bovine children play in the fields all day and eat their fill, but when it came time to return to the safety of the stable the cows would heed the shepherd's call and run home.
Thanks to keepers of history like photographer Joanna Jinton we get to hear what the ancient Swedish herding call known as kulning sounds like, and now I see why cows respond to kulning- because it sounds beautiful!
Going back to school in the fall means getting a fresh batch of textbooks, which are always better used than new because other students have had the chance to doodle snicker-worthy stuff in the book.
These secret acts of vandalism used to be the funniest pictures in textbooks (unless you had a book from the 50s or 60s which was full of outdated information), but nowadays LOL-worthy stuff is included on purpose.
Love a good picnic with a lot of class? Then you won't want to miss out on this wine and cheese table that easily sits right in the ground and provides support for a bottle, two glasses and a plate -ideally for your cheese or chocolate pairing. Sure it's easy enough to throw down a blanket and put your bottle and plate of snacks on the ground, but those wine glasses are always problematic at picnics and at the beach. This clever table solves that problem by hanging them off of the ground where they won't tumble over.
Kids realize their parents are full of crap at an early age, and one of the ways they discover adults have been lying to them is by catching us doing something we told them absolutely, positively not to do.
This double standard drives kids crazy, because they want to look up to their parents and respect their authority but can't bring themselves to obey a lying, conformist worrywart with poor math skills.
Jacob Andrews and Willie Muse have cited five examples of What Adults Say Vs What Adults Do in this strip, but I'm sure you can think of at least a dozen more things that make adults totally full of baloney man! Adulthood is a lie!
Some men still deny that mansplaining is a real thing or that even if it does exist, that it's a problem, but those men obviously have never had someone assume they were completely ignorant on a subject based solely on their gender.
@NicoleFroio A male ob/gyn told me that if I focussed harder on my work or picked up an interesting hobby my menstrual cramps wouldn't bother me so much.
For those still unconvinced that mansplaining is real, Twitter user @NicholeFroio asked other women to post the most obvious thing that was ever mansplained to them and the results are beyond depressing.
A man (a paramedic) told me not to worry about giving birth because it was no different or painful than pooping. https://t.co/31kKGohAdM
There's a great round up of the responses on Buzzfeed and things men felt they had to explain to women include a man telling a woman her name was spelled wrong, multiple men telling women they didn't know the basics of the thing the woman had an advanced degree in, and men telling women how female bodies work.
Do the words "Chinese government", "global economics" or "belt and road" make you think about having some hot fun in the summertime?
I didn't think so, but your opinion of these seemingly boring words is sure to change after you watch this video featuring the song "The Belt and Road", which is bound to become the jammy jam of Summer '17!
So what is this video all about? It's about the Belt and the Road-
The belt is an actual physical road that will connect China and Europe, and the road is a trade route (think Silk Road) that includes maritime shipping lanes and freight. At the Belt and Road Forum (yes, BARF), Jinping laid out the plan to pump $150 billion a year into 68 countries to promote trade and strengthen the Chinese foothold.
China wants to underwrite huge infrastructure projects all over the world: a coal plant in Sri Lanka, exporting to Pakistan, and expanded electricity grids in Central Asia. This isn't exactly new—China has already funded public transport in Ethiopia, for example—but it's at an unprecedented scale that will shift global trade.
But while we wait for more plans to unfold it's probably just good to numb the anxiety of shifting global powers with a song, and why not the Belt and Road?
The world had become a mad, mad, mad place well before Max went mad and fired up his Interceptor looking for revenge, but where will the madness end?
Will the post-apocalyptic world look more like the modern interpretations, or will it be full of kooky characters wearing patchwork outfits like as seen in those crazy movies of the 70s and 80s?
This video by Monkey Blood doesn't answer any of those questions, but it does answer the question nobody has ever asked- what would a Mad Max: Fury Road-It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World mashup look like?
Two words- utter madness! Also acceptable- Jonathan Winters!
AlltimeMovies put together this list of 10 Worst Animated Movies Of All Time, and while I don't feel they all deserve the "worst of all time" title every film on the list is unwatchable, so "the worst" it is!
Gardening hack roundups are often full of untested tips that don't work at all or promise results that are impossible to measure, and yet we keep seraching because they're one of the most useful categories of household tips.
Whenever a director establishes their signature style other directors are bound to copy it, either because they're hacks or because they want to channel that director's iconic style into their own film.
The folks from ad agency DDB who created the Wes Anderson-inspired tourism campaign for Latvia's capital city Riga clearly wanted to add a bit of Wes' signature symmetry and cool use of color to their production.
They also must have chosen Wes Anderson as their muse because Latvia looks like the setting of one of Wes' films, and the Latvians who star in these fun ads don't have to pretend to be quirky characters- because they're not acting.
So far there are videos for five characters- the Taxi Driver, the Senior, the Priest, the Blogger and the Teacher, five colorful characters meant to symbolize the fact that you can "Be anything in Riga!"
Parents can go crazy making stuff for their kids, stuff that will most likely end up stashed in a box in the garage, but when sculptor Dan Lefebvre goes crazy making stuff for his son his creations end up proudly displayed.
Dan's version of going crazy involves chopping, carving and chiseling a massive chunk of red cedar into a realistic wooden sculpture that looks just like his son wearing a Darth Vader mask.
It's really interesting to see how Dan took a daunting chunk of cedar log and shaped it to look like his son in stages, and his attention to detail definitely adds visual interest to the figure's realistic pose.
I wonder how his son feels about having to hang out with a wooden version of himself?
This interactivity also helps imprint those memorable moments in our minds, making sure gamers will never forget the first time they stepped out of the Vault in Fallout 3 or when they rode into Mexico after an intense river battle in Red Dead: Redemption.
Some houses have a strange history that makes them hard to sell- especially if the realtor is honest about the strangeness in their listing.
This house in Cayce, South Carolina is being sold for a mere $155k, but it comes with one really odd catch- the buyer can't ask about the person in the attic.
The original Zillow listing was edited because of the unwanted attention it received online, but here's how it originally read:
Please read carefully before scheduling showings. May not qualify for financing. Great "diamond in the rough" investment property or primary home needing separate apartments. Little is known about condition except that property has active roof leaks. Property is being sold "as-is" with no repairs, no clean-up, and no warranties expressed or implied. Upstairs apartment cannot be shown under any circumstances.Buyer assumes responsibility for the month-to-month tenancy in the upstairs apartment. Occupant has never paid, and no security deposit is being held, but there is a lease in place. (Yes, it does not make sense, please don't bother asking.)
UPI dug a bit further and found a different listing that stated "Upstairs apartment is occupied by professional artist", which makes a bit more sense than "please don't bother asking".
But who in their right mind is going to buy a house with a creepy tenant lurking in the attic?
There is some scientific evidence that shows dogs may suffer from depression just like humans, but can we really tell if a dog willingly committed suicide?
Regardless of which side of the road you stand on regarding doggy suicide consider this- there's a bridge in Scotland dubbed "Dog's Suicide Bridge" because more than fifty dogs have leapt off the bridge and died in the last 50 years.
One particular section of the Overtoun Bridge near Dumbarton seems to have a strange effect on dogs of a certain breed, causing them to heedlessly leap off the side and "commit suicide":
All of the deaths occurred at the very same spot on the right-hand side of the bridge. All of the dogs who died were long muzzle breeds like Collie, Labrador, or Greyhound. All of the deaths took place on bright, clear days.
Over six months in 2005, five dogs leaped to their deaths. One bereaved owner, Donna Cooper was out walking with her family when her dog, Ben jumped over the parapet and fell fifty feet onto the rocks below.
Some people think the bridge is haunted by an evil spirit, others think it's situated in a "thin place" where our world meets with the "Otherside" so dogs are trying to leap into this other world.
But animal behaviorist Dr. David Sands has posited the most popular theory- their leaping over the side because they smell mink:
Sands uncovered the most likely explanation for the dog deaths is the onset of mink farming in the area, which started fifty years ago:
Evidence of mink was confirmed in the area not only by a naturalist, who spotted droppings beneath the bridge, but also by [an angler], who explained that the top hill quarry had lakes that contained trout (perfect mink diet).
The intense scent of mink aroused each dog’s curiosity, leading to their fatal leap of faith.
Looking for something a little refreshing this summer? Then head to your local novelty popsicle shop (that has to be a thing, right?) and pick up a Van Holten pickle popsicle.
Or do you like your pickles a little less cold with a little fizz? Then maybe you need one of these pickle juice sodas from Grandpa Joe's Candy Shop. Sure, you could just drink regular pickle juice, but it lacks all that delightful carbonation you know you've always needed in your pickle juice.
Working on commission turns some salespeople into cutthroat, greedy liars who only care about pushing product and increasing their salary, which typically ends up biting them in the butt in the end.
8/30.I once asked a car salesman if the car I just test drove came with a warranty. He picked up the phone on his desk, pushed some buttons and said, "Hey, does that one come with a warranty? OK, cool, thanks." He then hung up, turned to me and said "Yeah, it comes with a warranty." His phone was unplugged.
The former salespeople I know who couldn't "get with the program" said they went home feeling dirty every day, and quit because their integrity was worth more than their salary.
6/30.Not me, but my mom. One morning when I was still sleeping, her iPhone updated and was on the 'Hello' screen. She doesn't know much about technology, so she thought it was broken and brought it to the AT&T store. They told her it WAS broken and convinced her to get a new phone and start a new contract.
When I found out, I was pissed. I turned her phone on and it worked! We went back up there and I spoke to the manager and told him what happened... He said we'd have to pay a restocking fee. He didn't care at all and chalked it up to being just a misunderstanding. We ended up filing a complaint with corporate to get it refunded.
It's not always easy to tell when a salesperson is full of crap, but when the guy at the game store starts talking about the US government cracking down on games you know he's bananas.
25/30.Several years ago, I went to Gamestop to buy a DS game (Mario vs Donkey Kong 2, if you're wondering) and while he's in the process of ringing me up, he starts the whole "Would you like to preorder so-and-so (I can't remember what game it was)?" pitch.
I tell him no thanks, and I'd just like my game and I'll be on my way.
But then he says something absolutely ridiculous.
"Well, I'm sure you're going to want that game, since it's the hottest new title coming out this year, and you'll definitely want to preorder it! See, the US government is cracking down on video games and starting in a few weeks, if you don't preorder your games, you won't be able to buy them because we won't be allowed to sell them off the shelves!"
“I wish I could be like my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. She’s very beautiful and confident. Unlike me, jealous and insecure.”
When people visit caricature or portrait artists they're usually expected to pay a the asking cost plus a tip if they like what the artist has done, but illustrator Terence Eduarte is asking for much more than a tip.
“My daughter doesn’t know that her lost cat is home. He is buried in our backyard.”
The Manila-based art director creates a cool portrait of the subject, drawn from an interesting perspective, in exchange for the subject's juiciest secret.
Terence promises not to reveal the identities of the people who posed for his '100 Days Of Secrets' project, but he did reveal the secret behind each piece, so we can get an idea of each character's backstory.
“I dated my professor back in college. I was 23, she was 37.”
Now that Dwayne Johnson is a huge movie star he doesn't have to take every role he's offered, and since he's a rough and tumble kinda guy he likes to star in action films, although he was amazing as Maui in Moana.
But, as this GQ comedy video shows, Dwayne should definitely stick to starring in films that are mostly action, because he's better off playing a larger-than-life hero than a Napoleon Dynamite type.
However, if Scorsese ever considers making a Goodfellas 2 he'd better cast Dwayne as Tommy DeVito's illegitimate son because he's perfect for the role! (NSFW language)
Sailors and people who live in coastal towns were constantly reporting sea monster sightings back in the day, but ever since the camera came along and made it easy to prove what you saw those sightings have dwindled.
So now we have sea monster mysteries that last but a few days, because people post clear photos online that make it possible for the internet community to help solve the mystery.
Recently a massive "sea monster" washed ashore in Indonesia and people went crazy for a few days trying to solve the mystery.
The Indonesian military felt sure it was a giant squid carcass, while people online theorized it was an elephant, a Spawn of Cthulhu or some sort of genetic experiment gone horribly wrong.
But thanks to the internet community the mystery was solved and the "sea monster" was revealed to be the corpse of a Baleen whale in a horrible state of decomposition.
The question now becomes what specific kind of Baleen whale it is, and what the exact cause of death was. The latter question is key, as whale carcasses generally sink, becoming food for a wide variety of deep sea life.
Werth says two possible causes of death that would cause a Baleen whale to float to land are an internal baterical infection, which would produce large amounts of internal gas and a collision with a ship or vessel that resulted in an injury which prevented internal gasses from escaping.
“That’s yet another reason you don’t want to be close to these things, not because it’s a scary, spooky creature, but [because] it would just be releasing some pretty foul, noxious gases,” Werth said.
Most people remember the day they lost their virginity, and since that day introduced them to the joy of sex it's usually seen as one of the best days of their lives.
But 72-year-old painter David Huggins didn't remember the day he lost his virginity until he started remembering suppressed memories- and realized he'd lost his virginity to an alien.
According to David he lost his virginity at seventeen to an "alien hybrid" named Crescent, with whom he has sired "over fifty hybrid-alien children":
As he tells it, he was walking through a forest in Georgia towards a lake. He saw her sitting next to a tree. Crescent had a perfectly normal human appearance except for her head—her pale, pointed face had large black eyes and she was wearing a wig. They both disrobed and he soon lost his virginity.
As the memories of this strange sexual encounter returned David started to use his painting skills to capture the scenes he once thought of as dreams but now believes are true events his mind has repressed.
David is the subject of an upcoming documentary by Brad Abrahams called Love and Saucers, here's the trailer:
So I got a lot of requests to make a video about knives and, like, asked me for my recommendations and stuff. But what I can recommend you is going to depend on your budget, what shapes you want your knives to be, which steel you want your knives to be made of, brand, design, there’s just so many things that you need to think about before getting one. But one thing I can say for sure is that, no matter how much you’re going to spend on your knives, they eventually get dull, and you need to sharpen them.
For some reason the writers, directors and producers behind Doctor Who never even considered casting Rowan Atkinson as The Doctor when they rebooted the series, which was a big mistake.
Now if you only know Rowan as Mr. Bean then you probably don't see how he would work as The Doctor, but if you look at all the drastically different roles he's played you can see he was born to play a Time Lord!
Steven Moffat certainly thought so when he cast Rowan as The Doctor in this special episode he wrote for Comic Relief's Red Nose Day back in 1999, six years before the Doctor Who reboot took the world by storm.
We all know by now that Hollywood has too few ideas of their own -which is one of many reasons why they make so many movies based on books. The good thing is that most books are better than the movie remake anyway, so if you don't want to wait for the next Hollywood release, you can just read the story ahead of time and probably find something more enjoyable anyway. So want to get a jump on the 2017 movie releases? Then check out this list of all the books they are based on and then head to your local bookstore (or Amazon).
The internet community gets a kick out of some pretty dumb stuff, and I can't count the number of times an image has gone viral simply because a few people found it funny so the rest felt they had to LOL as well.
But this silly and "totally controversial" viral story made me laugh so I thought I'd share- it involves something sinister happening on a package of Caramel M&Ms.
Can you see the problem with the package? Here's a close-up to make it a bit more obvious:
That's right- Red and Yellow are savagely tearing their new buddy in half to show the world what he's made of, his sweet guts spelling out the word "caramel".
Why are Red and Yellow bisecting a fellow candy person like total creeps? The answer may lie in this promo:
When people go out of town on business trips they often end up stuck in their hotel rooms for hours if not days on end, and when they run out of movies to watch and minibar bottles to drink they get bored.
But rather than wandering down to the lobby and getting stuck at the bar with his coworkers a business traveler in Azerbaijan started leaving strange "gifts" on the bed for the housekeepers- and they loved it.
The challenger continued to leave silly sculptures in the room to amuse the housekeepers and after ten days of creating challenging sculptures out of stuff he found around his hotel room the challenger left on a high note.
It would help if college students could consult a course catalog full of honest slogans when they're considering which major to choose and what classes to take, so they don't end up wasting their time and money.
Sadly, most students enter their university years with a head full of BS about which majors are best, and they're pushed to take a path towards a career they're guaranteed to hate.
But if they could see in advance where their choices will lead them after they've graduated from college the schools would be full of music majors!