Do transformers buy car or life insurance?

— Um Hello (@poopidoop) March 22, 2013

Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

— Westy (@wwwesty) October 12, 2010

Today, I woke up with some burning questions that need answers. Rather than Google, I thought: Why not put them to the neatoramanaut community, who've got to be smarter than Google's algorithms, right?

So here goes:

1. The other week, I saw a small plane crash into the 405 Freeway near Long Beach. When I went to take a photo of it, a CHiPs on foot pulled me over and gave me a ticket for using my phone while driving. I said, "Well, I'm using the camera, so it's not a phone at this point. Is there a law against pulling out my DSLR and taking a picture while traffic is basically stopped?" He said no, but there is a law about operating a motor vehicle without a hands-free device. QUESTION: If I dispute this ticket, will I win? Or is just my word against his?

2. When you cut a 12-hour Sudafed in half, do you only get 6 hours of sinus relief, or do you still get the full 12 hours, but only at half the strength? Anyone? Anyone?

3. Anyone own a BMW 3-series wagon? Thinking of buying a used one for my wife. Like a 2006 or 2007. Any advice? Good/bad? Pitfalls? Thanks all!

Thanks to the amazingly talented Steve Casino from SteveCasino.com, who creates art from peanuts. Below you can see how he made this character for Twaggies.

I drink because of the stress of knowing that cats walk on our cars at night.

— Billy Wipe Lightly (@B_poling82) June 25, 2012

As you might have heard over the long weekend, Douglas Engelbart, who revolutionized the computer industry with the invention of the mouse, died at the age of 88 last week. We found this amazing video footage of the first ever mouse that shipped with a PC. Just listen to how the narrator explains how it's used! Classic...

I'm never more amazed at the fact I'm still alive than when I look up from my phone & I've driven to my destination w/ no recollection of it

— Jason (@jasonlight73) December 8, 2011

~Illustrated by: Colin Graham~

Skip to the end and lo & behold, it is the springtime of their loving... Darth and Ella. Such a perfect couple. Ding! Going up?

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

— squidbite (@squidbite) June 27, 2013

~Illustrated by: Colin Graham~

— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) May 29, 2013

As always, you can get this on a t-shirt from the neatoshop!

Lady came to front door & asked if I'd donate to new pool they're building for kids. I told her to hang on & came back with a glass of water

— Sly (@slyoung5) June 10, 2011

~Illustrated by: Colin Graham~

I bet the sheep that make steel wool are awesome.

— Daniel Crayg (@10InchesPlus) December 30, 2012

~Illustrated by: Colin Graham~

You can buy this, and most Twaggies images, as shirts and prints, right down here.

Pinterest assumes we all have unlimited supplies of pallet wood & mason jars. Where are these mysterious caches, people? WHERE?

— Jen Yates (@cakewrecks) May 14, 2013

~Illustrated by: Colin Graham~

Over on the Twaggies blog, we posted a cartoon version of @Aspersioncast's amazing tweet:

I bet cats are pissed they can’t sit on televisions anymore.

— Aspersioncast (@Aspersioncast) June 21, 2012

Today, the talented creator of the Nyan Cat, PRGuitarman, tweeted back to us and told us we were wrong, and included some photos as proof of his grandmother's cat balancing atop a flat screen TV. Check out the photos:

Pretty amazing! Anyone else have any experience with this kind of feline talent?

My sunglasses are either broke or lost at all times and cheap as hell to begin with. I am my sunglasses.

— tony logan (@tnylgn) May 7, 2013

Walt Whitman was born May 31, 1819, which means he would have been 194 today. Sometimes, when I see photos of him, I actually think he looks like he's 194, living the simple life in Portland or something. It would be silly to say that Breaking Bad has renewed my interest in WW, but I must admit I have pulled out my copy of Leaves of Grass, gearing up for the finale starting in July. (SO excited!)

Meantime, here's a great 36-second snippet from a wax cylinder recording of what is thought to be Whitman's voice reading four lines from the poem "America."

America: center of equal daughters, equal sons, All, all alike endear'd, grown, ungrown, young or old, Strong, ample, fair, enduring, capable, rich, Perennial with the Earth, with Freedom, Law and Love, A grand, sane, towering, seated Mother, Chair'd in the adamant of Time.