Winter is Coming by Hairbrained Designs. 3Xl

That is a Darwin tool. You give this to a person who is suspected of being a Darwin award winner. You give them a nail, and you tell them to hammer the nail into a board. If the person succeeds without harm, they lose. If they don't... well, you know the Darwin tool did its job.

http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Hello-Scotty 2XL

That is what my grandmother sees when she looks at any electronic device invented after 1929.

http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Hello-Scotty 3xl

That is a 19th century Borg hand.

Hello Scotty: 3xl

That is a pig tail screw. See, pigs are born with long tails. This is undesirable, as it will tangle with other pigs, which will lead to them communicating with each other to untangle. This will lead to a great pig uprising. That will lead to no bacon. No one wants that. So, the farmers take this curler and curl the pig's tails so that they are no longer a danger of tangling with others.

http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Soft-Kitty 2xl

Soft Hello Kitty

That's the prototype for master fisherman "Squid" Calhoun's fishing lure. The 4 hooks enable you to catch 4 fish at once, and the double line helps to compensate for the added weight. Due to his marvel in engineering, keen business sense, and his "colorful" personality, Discovery has offered him a 10 year deal for a new reality show, "Luring you in."

http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Soft-Kitty in 3XL

That's the brain child of a strict, religious mother. See, you use it to brush out a girl's hair, the double handles make for easy "womping" should she not sit still during her Sunday morning torture.

Hypnotoad L

That's the hairbrush that Kid's stylist (from Kid n' Play) used to create his hair in the 90's.

Hypnotoad L

An Amish nuclear power plant.

Hypnotoad shirt L

That's a plunger for a TNT box.

Hypnotoad Large

That's a whoitwhatsit. Cause, the person who made it didn't know what the hell it was either.

hypnotoad L

Hellraiser's head massager.

Evolution of Hypnotoad. L

That is one of the "toys" EL James used as inspiration for 50 Shades of Grey.

http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Evolution-of-Hypnotoad black, Large