Wait, are we not supposed to be wearing codpieces now?

This graphic from the Gothamist illustrates the point well: https://gothamist.com/attachments/byakas/112815dst111.jpg

I recommend eating lots of cheese. Your toilet will need no maintenance or repairs because it will only get used about once a week.

The only g'pa story I can think of is how he would stand in front of the open fridge, grab a carton of buttermilk, face upward, and drink it by pouring it into his mouth without the carton touching his lips. That way he wouldn't need a glass.

One of the stories mentioned putting butter on "bread so thick, you could see the impressions of his teeth in it after he took a bite." There's a Danish word for that! Tandsmør = "tooth butter".