I once mounted a mannequin coated in waxy pheromones. It was quite satisfactory.

Bein' able to see up a purty lady's skirt never made me feel queasy before.

It's easy if you use backpage dot com.

If your clothes are drying on the rack you will be naked with the blinds open.

Typographers are anal bungholes.

Is the colon really poop colored?

Yes, my point was that Christians would do shit that ain't very Christian.

I don't know about existence or non-existence of historical references to other stones like this being used by Christians so I can't really discount the possibility of it being a Christian artifact.

Using magic to hurt people doesn't sound very Christian, though.

I think you could do it without cables if you had magnets at the edge of the frame oriented horizontally with opposing magnets mounted on 4 x 4s screwed to the lower frame so the bed would be repelled toward a center position between the 4 x 4s. One set of magnets oriented vertically for lift, one set of magnets oriented horizontally for centering.

I don't see why it wouldn't be possible to use cables crisscrossed under the bed to stabilize it without the tripping hazard, with cables running from a screw eye at each corner of the bed to a screw eye on the base below the opposite corner.

Can we please take him to the dog park?

The best pranks involve welding.

Oh hell yes! I remember a text messaging college girl completely oblivious to her surroundings walking right in front of drivers who just got that intersection's ten second green light, briefly looking up when people beeped at her, and nonchalantly continuing her text messaging zombie walk.

I'd like to see all subspecies of pedestrians who think that traffic laws designed to ensure fair turn taking for everyone in traffic don't apply to them start receiving tickets.

Walking is a chance to see and experience the three dimensional world and I just don't get why people would rather stare at a tiny screen. I've tried text messaging and it just isn't that satisfying.

They need to keep trying to help him, but if nothing works let us all hope that he has the cognitive ability to understand that if he ever hurts anyone he will be locked up in a very uncomfortable and boring jail environment.

1. Carefully scrape up the seal with the tip of a steak knife.
2. Copy all the pr0nz from your Pa's flash drive.
3. Melt the wax on the back side of the seal with a lighter and stick that rascal back on there.

Are you going to keep your wax seal in your top desk drawer? Thought so!