Do you find it difficult getting a girlfriend? Are your chat-up lines falling flat? Have you lost that loving feeling? Then why not take a lesson in seduction from the master himself, the Barry White of the bird world - the male Vogelkop bowerbird.
First, the lovepad. Instead of just writing ‘Darren’s Den of Iniquity’ on your garden shed, how about putting some thought into it? The male Vogelkop bowerbird (Amblyornis inornata) spends years building his loveshack, making sure there is plenty of space inside and a sturdy roof above … just in case the earth should move.
Second, location, location, location. Which do you think is more romantic - dreary old Dagenham or gorgeous New Guinea? The male Volgelkop lives in
Third, décor. It is not enough to throw a fake tiger skin over a manky old sofa. Pep it up a bit. Add some colour. Bring the outside inside. Male bowerbirds pick fresh flowers and only use colour combinations that they think are sure to please a female. (Tip: fungus-infested deer poo is a definite no-no.)
Fourth, music. If your chat up lines aren’t working then how about singing instead? Women love being serenaded and the male bower bird knows it. Once he’s got his lovepad sorted, the plain-looking male bowerbird gets out there and starts singing, using his voice to attract the ladies instead of his looks.
And finally, if none of that works, simply pretend you're someone else. Male Volgelkops aren't the best-looking young cocks in the forest and they know it. So what do they do? They impersonate other birds, knowing full well that Mick Jagger doesn't get the chicks because of his looks - it's the way he sings that does it.
Submitted on Nov 6, 2009 1:47 pm by [submitter anonymized] | comments (0)
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