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You know what you never hear people say? “I really love the taste of whiskey, but I sure wish it didn’t get me drunk.” Yet, from the annals of incredibly stupid ideas comes ArKay, the O’Douls of whiskey.
Link Via Geekosystem
You probably already know that a lot of celebrities are vain, but it’s hard to tell just how self-obsessed some people are until you learn how much they are willing to insure their own bod parts for. Mariah Carey, for example, has her legs insured for $1 billion dollars.
I’ve always wondered though if an insured celebrity gets fat, does that enable them to collect insurance money?
I don’t know about you guys, but I certainly appreciate a good hot dog. That being said, I have a serious aversion to getting price gouged, which is why I find the idea of a $69 hot dog to be simply sickening. If you’re into that sort of thing though, or if you love laughing at the stupid things some rich people will pay for, don’t miss out on this Cracked article featuring 5 absurdly priced snack foods.
We’ve all heard a marketing campaign at some point and thought, “that is just stupid,” but most bad advertising strategies just result in a few less sales than a successful campaign would have brought in. Sometimes though, a company will run a campaign that’s so idiotic that the company ends up losing thousands, if not millions of dollars. Take, for example, the Silo marketing campaign that said customers could get a new stereo for only “299 bananas.” When customers started actually showing up with bundles of bananas, the store had no choice but to give them stereos in exchange for fruit.
The saddest part? Silo couldn’t even get rid of the bananas (they had thousands of them sitting there, presumably attracting fruit flies), as the local zoos stopped taking them and the food bank didn’t take perishables.
If you read There, I Fixed It, then you already know there are a lot of people with stupid solutions to serious safety concerns, but just in case you can’t get enough, there’s always this BuzzFeed collection of terrible OSHA violations.
One of my high school teachers once told our class, “if you’re going to be stupid enough to do something illegal, at least don’t be stupid enough to put it on camera.” That was before the days of Facebook and YouTube, but it seems like the best advice you can give people these days is what my teacher said, followed by “and if you’re stupid enough to put it on camera, for the love of God, don’t be stupid enough to upload it on to the internet.”
Vanessa Starr Palm and Alexander Daniel Rust certainly wish they got this advice and heeded it before they visited the Bahamas, killed an endangered lizard, ate it, documented the whole thing with photos and then uploaded the images onto Facebook.
The couple has been charged with violating an animal protection act and may also face additional charges for breaking a U.S. law that bans committing a crime in a country with a relationship to the U.S.
If you enjoy these sorts of stories, be sure to check out more funny Facebook crime stories over at Oddee.
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While there are always tons of memes floating around the net, most of them are mediocre at best. Scumbag brain, on the other hand, is something all of us can relate to, whether it involves keeping us up at night or replaying the same catchy son over and over. Catch more of the meme over at BuzzFeed.
Did you know they made a National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2? Or that there was a sequel to American Psycho that didn’t have anything to do with the film Christian Bale starred in? If not, then you’d probably enjoy this great list of terrible sequels found over at Mental Floss.
The snail shells above are simply gorgeous, as are the jewelry made from them. The only problem? The snails are being driven to extinction just so people can makes earrings and necklaces from them. That’s not the only idiotic reason humans have been driving certain creatures to extinction, read the rest over at Cracked. Warning: some of the language is NSFW.
Comments Off Most lawbreakers aren’t exactly geniuses, but these troublemakers cross the line between foolishness and downright ineptitude. To at least help prevent any more crimes of this level of stupidity, here are a few tips for aspiring criminals without any level of common sense.
There are a lot of situations where slang is a bad idea; and asking for “dough” at a pizza joint is certainly a good example. Funny enough though, the robbers who made off with a bagful of dough weren’t even victims of a bad pun, they were just stupid enough to point to a bag behind the counter without verifying that the bag held money instead of pizza ingredients. The moral of the story is that when holding someone up, you’re much better off asking them to hand over the cash than simply pointing to a random bag in the store.
Image via Jeff Kubina [Flickr]
“That’s not mine” just might be one of the oldest excuses in the book when it comes to illicit substances. While plenty of suspects have tried to say their drug stash belonged to their friends, most of them weren’t stupid enough to say it about crack in their butt crack. Even if it was his friend’s crack, it certainly was under his “control” at the time of the arrest, and that’s all that really matters.
Image via HTB [Flickr]
There’s a reason real drug dealers have such a vicious reputation to uphold. After all, if someone takes their supply, it’s not like they can just call the police. Amateur drug cultivators aren’t always hip to these rules, which is why it’s not entirely surprising that a small-time marijuana grower called the police when someone stole one of his prized plants. The police responded to the crime immediately –by confiscating his four remaining plants.
Robbing a store is a big gamble. Aside from the risk of getting caught, there’s also a risk that there won’t be much money in the register at the time. If you lose that gamble and end up only getting $586 in the hold up (which is actually pretty decent for a Wendy’s), you probably shouldn’t call the store to complain. One man learned this the hard way after police tracked him down when he called a second time to tell the workers they’d better have more money in the register the next time he robs them.
Image via alanwhitaker [Flickr] more …
A few months ago, I brought you a post detailing the stupidest pet products on the market and Alex suggested that I look into products that may have not been released, but were still patented. Researching these made me laugh even harder than the first article, which is why I’m happy to share these absurd animal inventions with you.
You might not be able to wear your heart on your sleeve, but you can sure wear your gerbil around your chest with this great pet display clothing. Be sure to jump around a lot while wearing this so your small animal knows you’re excited to have their company.
If you have a bigger pet like a small dog or a cat though, don’t worry, you can still carry them on your chest with this remarkably comfortable and uninhibiting design for a wearable pet enclosure.
This multi-function pet carrier seems a little more convenient although even more humiliating for your pet. Nothing like a gorgeous poodle purse to get the attention of those socialites you’ve been looking to impress.
Some pet owners don’t want to show their babies off to the world though and would rather throw them in a backpack. For these “animal lovers,” this specialty back pack pet carrier is a godsend, as it allows the animal just enough air to breathe and limits their ability to harm the user through the fabric.
Link – via bannedinhollywood
From the Upcoming 
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28-year-old Brett Kerr attempted to rob a home in Christchurch, New Zealand, but messed the job up in so many ways. The victim’s son, Greg Kitson, was amazed at the incompetence of the caper.
Mr Kitson sped over to his parents’ house after his wife noticed a fire in the kitchen. When he got there, he did not know who to call first. “We had a fire, we had a burglary and we had someone injured so it was like an all-play.”
He believes it all went wrong for Kerr when he tripped taking a drum set down a narrow spiral staircase, and apparently knocked himself out.
“This might be where he done himself in, then he thinks, ‘Ah! It’s a good time to get the plasma TV when I’m knocked out and totally out of it.’”
Bleeding profusely, it seems Kerr then set fire to the kitchen before deciding it was time for a lie-down.
The burglar’s actions puzzled Mr Kitson.
“Why would someone come in, light a fire, go upstairs and fall asleep?”
