HOME |
RSS | 
"Guns
don't kill people, bullets do" or so the saying goes, but 59-year-old
Verlin Q. Alsept was a bit unclear of the concept that you still need
that gun:
Rather the fellow who entered a Family Dollar Store in Dayton on Tuesday threatened the cashier with a bullet — a single .38 caliber round he pulled from his pocket.
The 59-year-old man asked the cashier for all the money in the cash register. Unfazed by the threatening bullet, she declined, and he left the store empty-handed. A nearby private security guard at the Westown Shopping Center — alerted by the cashier — quickly ran the man to ground as bystanders called police.
Link - via News of the Weird
Add this to the long list of candidates for the stupidest criminals who tried to rob a bank:
A man was arrested Wednesday afternoon after he walked into a Watsonville bank, said he had a bomb in his backpack and demanded $2,000 so he could pay his friend’s rent, police reported.
But when Mark Smith, 59, allegedly tried to rob the bank, the bank manager suggested that what he actually needed to do was take out a loan, and she had him sit down while she said she was going to retrieve the loan paperwork. Instead, she called 911, according to Assistant District Attorney Dave Genochio.
"Quick-thinking staff kept the man calm and distracted him with some paperwork until we arrived," Lt. Darren Thompson said.
We’ve always known those bank loan paperwork to be real tricky: Link
This bank robbery business may just be a bit too complicated for some criminals. Take, for instance, the lesson this bank robber learned the hard way:
A woman suspected of robbing two Butte County banks last week was arrested by Davis police about 1:30 p.m. Wednesday when her escape from an alleged bank robbery there failed because she locked herself out of her car.
Matthew and Nora Eaton had a clever scheme: shoplifting popular toys and resell them on online. It was such a smart idea that they decided to go on the Dr. Phil show and brag about it. This decision brought them to the attention of prosecutors:
District Judge Irma Gonzalez sentenced Matthew Eaton, 34, to 27 months in prison — one year more than prosecutors with the U.S. Attorney’s Office thought was sufficient punishment.
Nora Eaton, 27, was sentenced to one year and one day in custody.
Gonzalez had little sympathy for Matthew Eaton, calling his conduct in running the scheme over two years “despicable.”[...]
Matthew Eaton’s lawyer said the couple went on the show seeking help for their chronic shoplifting problem. On the program, however, they came across as bragging about their exploits and not appearing particularly troubled.
Instead of helping them, producers egged them on to exaggerate their cases, said defense lawyer Leila Morgan. And the only help they got was free copies of McGraw’s books, she said.
The judge also had harsh words for Dr. Phil.
Link via Ace of Spades HQ | Photo: Consumerist
Sylvester Jiles violated his probation by trying to break into the Brevard County, Florida jail and has been sentenced to fifteen years in prison:
At the time, he begged jail officials to take him back into custody, saying he feared retaliation from the victim’s family. But officials refused his request, advising him to file a police report instead.
Link | Image: FBI
Police in Cheshire, England are investigating the case of a man who installed a camera in a fitting room at the Asda department store. Finding him should be easy as he left crucial evidence behind. A police spokesman said,
“The device was placed in a light fitting and was in place for 30 minutes before being discovered by staff.
“Unfortunately for the man he did not turn off the camera while placing it in situ and forensic examination of the data card shows an image of him while doing this.”
This has got to be the worst disguise ever: Carroll, Iowa police apprehended two men who decided to color their faces with permanent marker in order to disguise themselves!
Police received a call Friday night that two men with hooded sweatshirts and painted faces had tried to break into a man’s home in Carroll, Iowa.
When police stopped a vehicle matching the caller’s description blocks away, they were stunned by the men’s disguises.
There were no ski masks or stockings pulled over their heads; instead, Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20, streaked their faces with permanent black marker.
Previously on Neatorama: Duck Tape Robber
