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Well, of course. Did you think that he was going to use an alphorn? Those things take up too much room in a sleigh.
The tune becomes more recognizable about halfway through the video.
-via View from North Central Idaho
In a rare column, Santa Claus shares some correspondence containing some of the more difficult questions he’s received. His answers will make you think. For example, Darnell asked why he didn’t get the Atari he asked for in 1981.
No question, Atari would have been a great gift for you in 1981. I did get you a skateboard. As you skated around your neighborhood that spring you met your best friend for life, Victor. You ran over the girl you’d eventually bring to your senior prom, Dominique. If you’d spent all that time indoors playing Atari, maybe your life wouldn’t have taken these turns. Sometimes I’m not able to give children the gift they want, but I can give them a gift they’ll use and enjoy that is maybe the perfect gift for them at that moment. Part of believing in the spirit of the Holidays is trusting in that spirit.
Read more at The Hairpin. Link
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Four-year-old Dominic McCracken-Bruce and his 2-year-old brother Tyson only asked for one thing for Christmas -their Mommy. Army Reserve Capt. Dawn McCracken-Bruce was deployed to Iraq and Kuwait for the past nine months. When she came home for the holidays, she and her husband decided to surprise the boys during their visit with Santa Claus at the Mall at Robinson in Pittsburgh. See the video at WTAE. Link -via Fark
So that’s how the big guy in the red suit delivers all those toys in one night! I wonder if he happens to be friends with a Time Lord, and what other tricks does he have up his sleeve, say for those on his naughty list? The world may never know…
This Christmas Twaggie was illustrated by artist Ingrid Doering from a Tweet by @1surlygurl. You have to feel sorry for Santa Claus -especially if you are Santa! Link
John Byrne was installing a new central heating unit in his home in Dublin in 1992 when he found a letter in the fireplace. It was a little scorched, but still readable.
On Christmas Eve 1911, a brother and sister, who signed their names, “A or H Howard”, penned their personally designed letter to Santa with their requests for gifts and a good luck message at their home in Oaklands Terrace, Terenure (or Terurnure, as the children spelled it) in Dublin.
They placed it in the chimney of the fireplace in the front bedroom so that Santa would see it as he made his way into the Howard household in the early hours of the morning.
A check of the 1911 census lead Byrne to believe the children were 10-year-old Hannah Howard and her seven-year-old brother Fred, who lived at the address with their parents and older sister. Link -via Metafilter
(Image credit: Eric Luke)
The following article is reprinted from The Best of Uncle John’ Bathroom Reader.
Ever wonder how the Santa Claus of 21st-century Christmas lore came about? Here’s the story of how an almost completely unknown bishop became the most recognized holiday character in Western civilization.
A MAN NAMED NICHOLAS
In the fourth century A.D., a man named Nicholas became the bishop of a village called Myra in what is now Turkey.
That’s all we know about him.
Nevertheless, Bishop Nicholas of Myra was later canonized and went on to become the most popular saint in all of Christianity. He is the guardian saint of Russia, Austria, Belgium, France, Germany, Norway, and Greece. He is the patron saint of children, virgins, pawnbrokers, pirates, thieves, brewers, pilgrims, fishermen, barrel makers, dyers, butchers, meatpackers, and haberdashers. He has more churches named after him than any of the apostles. And he has evolved into one of the best-known characters in the world -the fat, jolly, red-suited Santa Claus who delivers presents on Christmas Eve, St. Nick.
How did it happen? It took centuries.
MAKING A SAINT
It’s a pretty safe guess that the real Nicholas of Myra was a kind and generous man, because most of the legends attributed to him describe kind acts toward children. Here are two of the most famous:
1. The Three Daughters. Nicholas was walking past a house when he overheard a man telling his three daughters that he was selling them into prostitution because he didn’t have enough money for the dowries that would make them desirable wives. Later that night, Nicholas snuck back to the house and threw a bag of gold through a window. He did the same thing the following night, and then again a third night, providing enough gold for all three daughter’s dowries. (According to a later version of the story, one of the bags landed in a stocking that was hung out to dry over a fireplace.)
Because of this, he became the patron saint of young brides and unmarried women. And because he delivered financial aid at a time when the girls needed it the most, pawnbrokers made him their patron saint. To this day, the symbol of the pawnbroker trade is three balls of gold -a spinoff of St. Nick’s three bags of gold.
2. The Three Boys. For centuries, it was common to paint St. Nicholas holding his three bags of gold. But not every artist painted them well …and at some point during the Middle Ages, artist painting new pictures of the saint began mistaking the bags for three human heads. To explain this image, a second legend evolved. According to this tale, St. Nicholas checked into an inn during a terrible famine and was surprised when the innkeeper served him meat -which had been unobtainable for months- for dinner. Suspecting the worst, Nicholas snuck down into the cellar and found the pickled bodies of three murdered young boys floating in a barrel. He restored the boys to life and helped them escape.
ST. NICK AND KIDS
These tales helped make St. Nick the patron saint of children. And to honor him, Europeans began giving gifts to their children on the eve of the feast of St. Nicholas, which fell on December 6.
more …
Stephen Wildish’s Venn diagram illustrates that if Santa wanted to become a major league superhero — or, more frighteningly, a supervillain — he would be immensely powerful. He already has something of a Fortress of Solitude set up.
Link -via Jeremy Barker | Designer’s Website
The world’s oldest and most famous school for Santa Clauses has modified its curriculum to adapt to the times. In addition to teaching the Santas how to network using social media, they suggest advising children not to expect too many presents.
The result is a Christmas season in which Santas — including the 115 of them in this year’s graduating class of the Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School — must learn to swiftly size up families’ financial circumstances, gently scale back children’s Christmas gift requests and even how to answer the wish some say they have been hearing with more frequency — “Can you bring my parent a job?”
Santas here tell of children who appear on their laps with lists that include the latest, most expensive toys and their parents, standing off to the side, stealthily but imploringly shaking their heads no… Some children show up with elaborate printouts, cross-referenced spread sheets and clippings from catalogs. “I try to guide the children into not so unrealistic things, and I do tell them that Santa’s been cutting back too,” said Tom Ruperd, of Caro, Mich., who added that parents often silently signal their appreciation.
Additional details at the New York Times link. And, in case you were wondering, “mall” Santas earn about $25-50 per hour.
Link. Photo from the school’s gallery.
This is why a guy in a fat suit and fake beard shouldn’t try rappelling from one level of a mall to the next, especially if kids are watching. I hope that mall gives out gift cards that repair shattered childhood dreams!
–via Geekologie
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The Scottsdale (Arizona) Gun Club invites you to have your picture taken with Santa Claus ..and his machine guns. Other firearms are available for your photo shoot, and you can even try out the machine guns! Link to story. Link to website. -via Arbroath
Baby Santa Jacket – $34.95
Are you looking for a festive and fun way to keep your favorite bundle of joy warm this holiday season? You need the Baby Santa Jacket from the NeatoShop. This adorable zippered coat is made from super soft, wide-wale corduroy with satin lining and faux fur trim.
Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more Clothing & Accessories and Christmas cheer.
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Mrs. Claus Half Doris Apron – $41.95
Are you looking for a way to add a little holiday cheer to your Thanksgiving festivities? You need the Mrs. Claus Half Doris Apron from the NeatoShop. This adorable Christmas apron is made from plush velvet and has a white faux fur trim.
Warning: The Mrs. Claus Half Doris Apron in combination with an excellent holiday meal may have your significant other:
Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more Apron fun and festive Christmas Decorations.
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In 1920, J.R.R. Tolkien wrote and illustrated a letter from Santa Claus for his three-year old son. This became a regular tradition for his children for the next twenty-three years. Below the fold, you can find a copy of one such letter as well as a partial transcription from Letters of Note.
Santa’s Rocket Ship was one of five custom buses made with a Christmas theme. They were built by Lloyd Laster of Tyler, TX, who used them as advertising venues:
The vehicles traveled all over the southern and southwest parts of the country taking Holiday Shoppers on joy rides while making appearances at shopping centers and malls. Each of the Santa’s Rocket Ships traveled with a crew of five; a driver, two attendants, a hostess, and of course Santa Claus. Laster started in the 1950s with one Santa’s Rocket Ship and had gradually built up the fleet of five Christmas vehicles by the time he retired in 1974.
Laster sold the business to another man who continued to use the vehicles for several years before it ceased to be a profitable activity. So what happened to Santa’s spaceships? Tom Joslin of Jalopnik tracked down the one surviving bus at Mukluk Land, a small amusement park in Tok, Alaska.
Link | Photo: Mukluk Land
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Jim and Dylan live in the Chelsea area of New York City -nowhere near the North Pole. They don’t know how so many children got their home address, but for years they’ve received letters to Santa Claus at their apartment. The number of letters has grown into the hundreds this year. Many of them are from children seeking basic supplies instead of toys.
Hi Santa,
My name is Jennifer and my little sister’s name is Stephanie. I’m 8½ years old and Stephanie is 7 years. Santa our behavior this year have been excellent. You can ask my mom if you want. Please Santa bring me some clothes. I’m 10T and my shoe size is 4 and Stephanie is 8T shoes size 2½. Please make my dreams come true for Christmas.
This year, instead of wondering why they get them, Jim and Dylan are trying to fulfill the children’s wishes, with the help of friends, neighbors, and anyone who wants to lend a hand. Tom Mason and Sarah Klein produced a video about the letters. Link
-via Metafilter, where a commenter may have found a clue as to the origin of the address in a 1998 article.
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Santa Claus came about when the story of the St. Nicholas of Myra was melded with the legend of Odin. The image was refined by poetry, illustration, and advertising. Get the details on the origins of Santa Claus at it THING. Link -via the Presurfer
Photo: Jonathan Clark/Guinness World Records
Somewhere in that photo above is Jean-Guy Laquerre, who holds the Guinness World Records for having the world’s largest collection of Santa Claus memorabilia.
Laquerre, a 74-year-old retired geography teacher from outside Montreal, has devoted all his time to his Santa collection, which he proudly displays between Dec. 15 and Jan. 15 as an invitation-only exhibit in his house.
"I’ve been collecting since 1988," he said. "Various people give me these items as gifts. I purchase them here and there, and then friends will give them to me."
If you want to beat Jean-Guy, you’ve got your work cut out for you: he’s got 25,189 items! Lee Speigel of Aol News has the story: Link
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Nick Brewer appeared as Robot Santa at SantaCon in New York City. It was his second year as a robot Kris Kringle, with an updated costume he calls Santabot 2.0.
Construction of Brewer’s Santabot outfit took about a month, not including the crash course in using an Arduino board for the electronics. Arcade-style buttons on his chest controlled various features, including lights, voice-changer (“Destroy! Destroy!”), sound system, LOL shield (scrolling, “What is love?” along with holiday messages) and the well-loved but short-lived candy dish that emerged from his 8-bit belly.
People got a little rough on the cardboard at times, but overall Santabot was mobbed with admirers, so much so that Brewer didn’t even make it to the main SantaCon convergence area at Central Park’s Bethesda Fountain.
“We got so bogged down with people and pictures it got to the point we couldn’t make it across the street,” Brewer said.
See several videos of Robot Santa in action at Underwire. Link
(Image credit: Jess Alford)
The following is an article from Uncle John’s Unstoppable Bathroom Reader.
You probably don’t give Santa a second look when you see him in a department store or on a street corner every December …but maybe you should.
SANTA COPS
By December 2001, Mafia fugitive Francesco Farina had been on the run from Sicilian police for more than five years. Holed up in what he thought was a great hideout -a flat in downtown Catania- Farina was able to look out his window and see whether the cops were closing in on him. But all he saw were the regular assortment of Christmas shoppers, schoolchildren, and a Santa Claus ho-ho-hoing on the street corner. A few days before Christmas, thinking that the coast was clear, Farina decided to go out on the town. Bad idea: the guy in the red suit wasn’t Santa after all. A succession of surveillance cops dressed as Santa had kept their eyes on Farina, who ended up spending Christmas in jail.
SANTA’S FISTS OF FURY
An unidentified Santa was cruising down a LeHigh Acres, Florida street in his convertible when he was approached by 20-year-old Jonathan Danzey, who asked Santa for a present. Informed there was nothing for him in Santa’;s sack, Danzey got angry. Words were exchanged, Santa got out of the car, and Danzey tried to punch him. According to Katherine Phillips, who witnessed the altercation, “Santa Claus whipped his butt.” He ripped Danzey’s shirt, knocked him to the ground, then drove away. The cops soon arrived and arrested Danzey on drunk and disorderly charges. “He won, ” Danzey conceded, “but he was stronger and more soberer.”
SANTAS ON THE RUN
One of the oddest sights in the history of sports took place in Newtown, Wales, in December 2002. More than 1,000 runners -both male and female- participated in a four-mile race for charity …all dressed in full Santa Claus garb: black boots, red pants, red coat, and a big white beard. Said one of the runners: “It’s a lot easier to run in a Santa suit than to try to hold a normal conversation in one.”
SANTA PROTESTORS
What if Santa were banned from Christmas? That’s what they tried to do in the small town of Kensington, Maryland in 2001. Some of the townspeople complained that it made them feel uncomfortable having a “religious figure” participate in the annual tree-lighting ceremony, so the town fathers decided to ask Santa to stay home. Unfortunately, not everyone in town agreed with the decision. Result: 50 Santas showed up and marched on City Hall. Pro- and anti-Santa factions clashed; one Santa was arrested.
SANTA MELTDOWN
Shortly before Christmas in 1999, Kelley Fornatoro placed her 19-month-old son next to Santa for a holiday portrait in a Woodland Hills, California shopping mall. The baby immediately started crying. So Fornatoro suggested that Santa put his arm around the boy to calm him down. That’s when Santa had a fit of his own. “I will not imprison your child!” he yelled at her. “Was it worth it for you to torture your child for a picture? You must be an evil person.” As Fornatoro retrieved her baby, she said she’d be filing a formal complaint. “You can complain about me if you want, but I am Santa Claus. I am the best person in the world!” Then he got really mad. While parents rushed to cover their shocked children’s eyes, Santa began undressing. He took off his hat, beard, wig, coat, and belt, and was down to his red, baggy pants and a tank top when security guards escorted him out of the building.
THE SANTA
In a quest to find Great Britain’s ultimate Santa, organizers at Guinness World Records sponsored the first-ever “Santathon” in December 2001. The event included a field of eight top contenders donned in full beards, red suits, and black boots. Competitive events included sack-hauling, pie eating, chimney climbing, stocking filling, and ho-ho-hoing. First prize was awarded to David Broughton-Davis, 43, from Croydon, a professional department store Santa. “I’m not very proud to admit that my best event was eating three large mince pies,” Broughton-David lamented after being awarded the Golden Boots trophy. “I just wish that event hadn’t taken place before the chimney climb. It was hard on the stomach.”
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The article above was reprinted with permission from Uncle John’s Unstoppable Bathroom Reader.
Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts.
If you like Neatorama, you’ll love the Bathroom Reader Institute’s books – go ahead and check ‘em out!
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Thomas Cane patented a device in 1996 that will alert children to the presence of Santa Claus. If someone trips the sensor disguised as a ribbon across the fireplace, lights in the stockings will be triggered, giving proof that Santa came through the hearth! One would think the appearance of candy in the previously-empty stockings might be proof enough. Link -via the Presurfer
Comments Off YouTube user SterlingBreed captured this marvelous video. Keep Portland weird!
via Geekosystem
Brody Qat attended a gathering of Santas as her character “Desaturated Santa”, which she introduced last year, and posted photographs at Flickr. To counter many accusations of Photoshoppage, she also posted a picture of her makeup and contact lenses to explain how it’s done. She said:
Many people find it hard to believe that someone would go to all the effort of creating a gray & white Santa suit and painting their face, when it’s “so much easier just to do it in Photoshop”. (Yes, but where’s the fun in THAT? Heck, why visit Paris when I can just Photoshop myself in front of a picture of the Eiffel Tower?)
Even Santa Claus gets the TSA treatment before flying! Today’s shirt at shirt.woot! is a creation of Neatoramabot designer Adam Koford.
When Adam “Ape Lad” Koford heard about the authorization of new, more invasive air security procedures, he was outraged… that the TSA never responded to his job application.
Link -via Laughing Squid
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Cartoonist Mark Anderson constructed the Robot Santa from the TV show Futurama out of Lego bricks! See lots more pictures at Andertoons. Link -Thanks, Mark!
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Jeremy Barker of The Ampersand gives us the run-down on saints, demons, and other mythical figures associated with Christmas throughout Western history. Pictured above is “The Lord of Misrule”:
In medieval England a low-ranking servant was appointed Master of Ceremonies for the midwinter revelries. This tradition originates in the Roman festival of Saturnalia, where the social order was turned on its head for a week.
Link | Image: Dean Tweed
Children of the Victorian Era had to be tough, because this Santa Claus would have given me nightmares! This picture is a detail of a larger family portrait from Flickr user stevechasmar. For sheer weirdness, it just might beat out the previous creepy Santa post. See more Victorian Christmas ephemera in his photostream. Link -via Buzzfeed
Lapland, a region of Fenno-Scandinavia that lies mostly within the Arctic Circle, is where tourists go to find Santa Claus, reindeer, dog sledding, skiing, the Northern Lights, and unbelievable scenery. In this post, it’s easy to see why Santa Claus wants to live in Lapland -I fell in love with the place just from the author’s charming use of English!
A more traditional mode of travel – dog sledding. Here management is not so elementary, because dogs often have their own ideas about the itinerary and you do not have a lot of ways to persuade them to move in the right direction. So it will take all possible strength and agility, but it only makes the trip more interesting.
NORAD has been tracking Santa every year since 1958. In 2007, Google Maps and Google Earth got involved with following Santa’s progress on Christmas Eve. As often happens with new projects, something went awry in 2008. Jeff Martin, a senior marketing manager at Google Geo, found himself in hot water quickly.
Inexplicably, as Santa made his way through Toronto that night last year, the mapping software began identifying the city as being in the United States. Instantly, NORAD Santa’s dedicated Gmail account “just lit up” with messages from irate Canadians, Martin said, and quickly, the Google team fixed the problem.
But not before Martin’s run-in with Canadian Lt. Gen. Marcel Duval. “He said, ‘I understand that you have a new American city,’” Martin recalled. “It was a slightly tense moment for me, standing in front of a three-star general explaining to him why one of his cities had been designated as a United States city.”
Read more about how the NORAD Santa Tracker came about and the technology used in the program today. Link -Thanks, Vince d’Eon!
Would you let your children pose with this Santa and his taxidermy donkey? This postcard is part of an extensive collection of found photos belonging to Albert Tanquero. I spent a lot of time this morning looking through pages and pages of his Flickr stream of old photographs, each of which has a story we may never know. Link -via mental_floss (where you’ll find more creepy Santas)
