HOME |
RSS | 
These
ain't no pirate riddles for no dumb landlubbers! Kevin Shay wrote a list
of sophisticated pirate riddles for McSweeney:
Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite aspect of computational linguistics?
A: PARRRsing sentences.Q: Of which concept shared by Jungian psychology and Northrop Frye’s literary theory are pirates especially fond?
A: ARRRchetype.
Don't forget to check out our Pirate Shop | Pirate's Favorite Amino Acid
Comments Off
All day, every September 19th, we celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day by basically saying “Arrrr!” But that sort of language is from another time and place (mainly Hollywood) -modern day pirates don’t talk like that. Real pirates in the modern world are liable to speak Somali, or other languages heard around the Horn of Africa.
The Horn of Africa is without question the hotbed of piracy today. A quick glance at the International Maritime Bureau’s Piracy Reporting Centre Live Piracy Map shows a dense thicket of attacks, and even though some analysis indicates that the areas of attacks may be decreasing in size, and that the frequency of successful attacks is decreasing, the density of attack is increasing and the risk of attacks remains high. And the focus of this activity remains Somalia.
What languages are these pirates saying? Based on the IMB’s reported risk zones, and country data for Somalia from the CIA’s World Factbook, they are probably speaking in Somali, Arabic (probably a Yemeni dialect), Italian (a vestige of Somalia’s colonial heritage) or English.
Wired’s Danger Room blog has a handy chart with common phrases you may need if you encounter these pirates, in English, Somali, and Yemeni. Link -via Boing Boing
Comments Off 
The following is an article from Uncle John’s Supremely Satisfying Bathroom Reader.
Here at the BRI, we’re huge fans of Richard Zak’s books. They’re great bathroom reading. He has a new book coming out: The Pirate Hunter-The True Story of Captain Kidd. Here’s a teaser from his masterpiece, An Underground Education.
WORKIN’ FOR THE MAN
While the popular image of buccaneers is peg-legged, eye-patched rascals, the ultimate anti-authority free agents, roving the seas, plundering ships, raping women, and brawling, the reality is much worse. They did all that and worked for the government.
Prior to 1856, it was standard operating procedure for western nations either to commission privateers directly or to wink at the actions of freelance pirates, so long as those thieves were preying on the commerce of other nations. Piracy was often state-supported economic terrorism. Captain Kidd, for example, was no Joan of Arc, but he was no “Captain Kidd,” either.
MEET CAPTAIN KIDD
William Kidd
William Kidd (c. 1645-1701) was a plain-speaking, high-tempered Scotsman who had made his fortune as captain and ship owner, trading goods in the colonies. In 1696, the 51-year-old Kidd was a prosperous New York businessman, comfortably settled with his wife and family. That year, Kidd and his friend Robert Livingston connived with the newly-appointed governor of New England, Richard Coote, Earl of Bellamount, the King of England’s cousin, to receive an unusual privateering commission.
In times of war, wealthy investors routinely funded privateering vessels to attack the enemy’s merchant ships and divvy the plunder. This was an English naval tradition dating back to Sir Francis Drake. But what was extraordinary about this commission was that it also entitled Kidd to attack pirate ships of all nationalities and keep their booty -no questions asked. It was an amazing financial opportunity.
SMART INVESTMENT
Kidd’s royal commission -secured by Bellamount- did, in fact,
give and grant full Power and Authority to Captain William Kidd, Commander of the ship Adventure Galley …to apprehend, seize and take into Custody the said Thomas Too, John Ireland, Tho Wake, and William Maze, and all other Pirates, Free-booters and Sea-rovers, of what Nation whatsoever, whom he should find or meet with, upon the said Coasts or Seas of America, or in any other Seas or Parts, with their Ships and Vessels, and all such Merchandise, Money, Goods, and Wares as should be found on board of them.
The mission began as an attempt by Britain to crack down on four colonial pirates, but was cunningly expanded so that Kidd would have maximum leeway to capture “prizes” -non-English ships.
In addition to Livingston and Lord Richard, four of the most powerful men in England secretly invested the £6,000 it would cost to outfit the ship. The prospect of profit from this legal larceny was dizzying. If Kidd captured two large ships, the backers could easily received a hundredfold return on their investment in a year. In the official contract with Kidd, four obscure merchants were listed as the investors, but they were shills. The real backers were John Somers, Lord Chancellor of England; Sire Robert Wadpole, Earl of Orford, First Lord of the Admiralty; and two secretaries of state, the Earl of Romney and the Duke of Shrewsbury. The king was to receive 10% of the booty as well, “chiefly to show that he was a partner in the undertaking,” according to The Real Captain Kidd- A Vindication, by Sir Cornelius Dalton. Kidd and Livingston stood to receive 7.5% each, while if the haul totaled more than £100,000, Kidd was to be allowed to keep the ship.
more …
Aye, be you lookin’ for the perfect towel for your little pirate in trainin? Arrr, you need the Pirate Hooded Towel from the NeatoShop. Ahoy, this fabulous cotton towel has an eye patch, hook, earrin’, and parrot. You best get t’ the NeatoShop before they be all gone.
Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more Baby & Kids treasures!
Comments Off 
An expedition off the North Carolina coast recovered the anchor from the wreckage of pirate Blackbeard’s ship, Queen Anne’s Revenge:
The Queen Anne’s Revenge is believed to have run aground in the shallow waters off Beaufort in 1718. The ship was discovered in 1996, with piecemeal recovery of artifacts intensifying only a few years ago. [...]
The expedition is trying to score a trove of 18th-century goods, which will be used to educate the public and raise awareness of underwater preservation efforts. The site has already yielded more than 250,000 artifacts, including cannons, gold, platters, glass, beads, shackles and rope, according to the state.
Why, just in time to mark the opening of the summer blockbuster Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. How do they time this stuff? Link
See also: NeatoShop’s Pirate Store
Osama may be gone, but that doesn’t mean the Navy SEALs are resting easy. There’s Somali pirate huntin’ to do and this time you’re invited … to play an online wargame that is:
“This isn’t World of Warcraft,” Schuette says. That’s an understatement. MMOWGLI tweaks the choose-your-own-adventure style of a war game. On Monday, after you visit a website hosted by the Naval Postgraduate School and sign up for the game, you’ll see a pirate scenario pop up onto your screen:
Three pirate ships are holding the world hostage. Chinese-U.S. relations are strained to the limit and both countries have naval ships in the area. Humanitarian aid for rig workers is blocked. The world is blaming the U.S. for plundering African resources.
What do you do? Two text boxes pop onto the screen. The first reads “Innovate,” and asks: “What new resources could turn the tide in the Somali pirate situation?” The second reads “Defend” and asks: “What new risks could arise that would transform the Somali pirate situation?”
Comments Off 
What did you have for breakfast, Neatoramanauts? Eggs and bacon? Were they as awesome as these Pirate Eggs and Bacon? I didn’t think so.
Found at The Whatever – via Laughing Squid Links
See more: Pirate and bacon stuff from the NeatoShop
Pirate Pencil Sharpener – $8.45
What’s better than the Pirate Pencil Sharpener from the NeatoShop? Nothing! These Pirate Pencil Sharpeners walk, swing their arms, shake their heads and have detachable hats! You know you want one, but are ye cool enough to have one? Aye matey, me think ye are!
Be sure to visit the NeatoShop for all your Pirate needs!
Comments Off 
The Queen Anne’s Revenge was the flagship of Edward Teach, also known as Blackbeard. The ship was abandoned in 1718 when it wrecked on a sandbar off the coast of North Carolina. Archaeologists have been carefully studying the wreckage for a decade now, and have slowly released photographs of their finds. Recently they reconstructed a sword hilt from found fragments that may have belonged to Blackbeard or one of his companions.
Recovered from the Queen Anne’s Revenge wreck site in 2008, the quillon could have been made in England or France, according to Wendy Welsh, conservator of the Queen Anne’s Revenge artifacts for the North Carolina Department of Cultural Resources.
Beyond the hilt, only a stump of the blade remains, but Welsh said Jan Piet Puype, a Dutch arms historian, thinks the weapon was probably relatively short and was carried by a gentleman with some status—at least before a pirate got hold of it.
Although it could have been used for self-defense, the sword was mainly a decorative accessory and was manufactured sometime between the mid-17th century and the early 18th century, according to Puype.
See more pictures and information at National Geographic News. Link
(Image credit: Wendy M. Welsh, North Carolina Department of Cultural Resources)
Photo: gotoAndLego [Flickr]
In Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life
That short film is titled The Crimson Permanent Assurance, which is the name of the building (and pirate ship) housing the company of the same name.
Well, Flickr user gotoAndLego has created The Crimson Permanent Assurance in LEGO form. The work is fantastically detailed – and one can’t help but chant:
It’s fun to charter an accountant
And sail the wide accountancy,
To find, explore the funds offshore
And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy!It can be manly in insurance.
We’ll up your premium semi-annually.
It’s all tax deductible.
We’re fairly incorruptible,
We’re sailing on the wide accountancy!
Yaaarrr! Link [Flickr Set] – via Laughing Squid
See also: Monty Python and The Holy Grail items from the NeatoShop
Comments Off 
Skeleton Apron – $23.95
No bones about it – there’s no better gift for your favorite chef whom you love to death than this cool skeleton apron from the NeatoShop: Link | More Pirate-wear | Fun Kitchen Stuff
Skellington Skull and Crossbones Decanter ($69.95) and Glass ($19.95)
Whiskey, gin, rum – whatever your poison, the Skellington Skull and Crossbones Decanter and Glasses make for the perfect drinkware. It’s one of the coolest things we have on the NeatoShop – the hand-blown smoked glass and hand-etched jolly roger design is a bit pricey, but definitely worth it.
Link | More Fun Glassware and Drinkware
Why play boring old hand games like rock-paper-scissors, and lame derivatives, when there is another game that includes the awesomeness of pirates, ninjas and robots?
Here is the new version of rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can see from the schematic below, each thing can beat two other things, and is, in turn beaten by two other things.
From the Upcoming 
ueue, submitted by drtundra.
An 88-year old man was caught videotaping Avatar in the movie theater … for his wife who couldn’t come to see it for herself. The police were called in, but the ending was different than you’d expect:
Police described the alleged film pirate as being 88 years old, about 152 centimetres tall, wearing large glasses and carrying a walking stick.
He said his wife couldn’t come to the cinema, so he was recording the film for her to watch later. Police deleted the file from the video camera and let the man stay.
What? Discretion and compassion by the police? What has the world come to?! What happened to LAW AND ORDER!!! RAWR! RAGE!!1!!ONe
Bad idea: being a Somali pirate and attacking …
Really bad idea: … in the middle of the night …
Neatorama-worthy: a ship that turns out to be a French navy ship!
Admiral Prazuck told French TV station La Chaine Info the pirates seemed to be surprised that the navy ship fought back.
"Once they realised they were facing a ship that was responding and was heading towards them, they stopped shooting and attempted to flee," he said.
Photo: Ack Ook
[Flickr]
Yo ho ho and 66 animatronic pirates! The Pirates of the Caribbean ride is one of my favorite Disneyland rides. And apparently, I'm not alone in this: over 300 million people have gone on the ride since it opened in 1967. But did they know that the ride was originally supposed to be a walk through with wax figures? Or that it was Walt Disney's favorite project? Or that political correctness led Disney to change some of the raunchy scenes?
For today's Neatorama Facts, let's take a look at some of the neatest facts about the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland:
The Pirates of the Caribbean was Walt Disney's favorite ride. Actually, whatever ride Walt is working on was his favorite - and since he died during the construction of the ride, it will remain his favorite forever.
Originally, the Pirates of the Caribbean was supposed to be a walk through Rogue's Gallery with wax figures. Walt figured out that boats (which he did for the It's A Small World ride) and audio-animatronics (which he did for the 1964 New York World's Fair) would work better. But if you think about it: pirates and boat certainly go together!
Oh, and what did Walt do for the World's Fair? An animatronic of President Abraham Lincoln in an attraction called Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln. After the Fair closed, the Disney pavilion was demolished and it was thought that the Lincolnbot was lost forever. Years later, someone discovered it packed in a crate - the animatronic president is now on display.
The
ride starts at Laffite's Landing, where you board a boat
after waiting in line for what seems to be three and a half days or so.
The Lafitte in Lafitte's Landing refers to Jean Lafitte (often spelled
Laffite), a real life pirate and privateer in the Gulf of Mexico (and
subsequent American war hero) in the late 1700s/early 1800s. (Photo: John
Bellamy at pirates.wikia.com)
When you passed the Blue Bayou restaurant, look up at the second story
of the building. You may think that it's a facade, but the balcony actually
belongs to Club 33, a member-only restaurant that most
of us can't afford to join (it costs tens of thousands of dollars to join,
plus there's a ten year waiting list anyhow). But who says you can't see
the inside of Club 
33?
YouTube to the rescue!
The lyrics to Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life for Me), the theme song of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride that you hear early on, was written by Disney Imagineers X Atencio and George Bruns. (X? How cool is that! Actually he was born "Xavier" but became X later on in life). It was based on Robert Louis Stevenson's sailor's work song (or sea shanty) "Dead Man's Chest" found in his 1883 novel Treasure Island. (Photo: Disney Legends)
Dead
Chest Island is actually an uninhabitable island close to the
island of Tortola in eastern Caribbean. The lyric "Fifteen men
on the Dead Man's Chest" and "Yo Ho Ho, and a bottle
of rum!" referred to the pirate Blackbeard's habit of leaving
crewmen on the deserted island, with only a bottle of rum, to die as punishment.
Back to the song for a minute. The Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life for Me) was sung by The Mellomen, a barbershop quartet that also sang many songs for Disney films. They also sang as backup singers for Elvis. The frontman of The Melloman, Thurl Ravenscroft, was the voice of Tony the Tiger, of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes.
OK, let's continue with the ride itself. Whether you love the old Pirates of the Caribbean or the new one with all the movie tie ins, you've got to admit, the floating head of Davy Jones on a waterfall of fog (fogfall?) is kind of cool. But who is Davy Jones? No, not the guy from the Monkees or the early stage name of David Bowie - Pirates of the Caribbean's character Davy Jones came from the old seaman's idiom "Davy Jones' Locker". It means the bottom of the sea: if someone was sent to Davy Jones' Locker, it means that he died at sea.
When the Pirates of the Caribbean first opened, Imagineers thought that the fake skeletons used were unconvincing. So they bought real human skeletons from UCLA Medical Center and used them as props. These have since been changed (phew!)
Remember the talking skull on the wall at the beginning of the ride? The original voice (now changed) was actually X Atencio's. Many other voices on the ride - like the auctioneer pirate, ship's captain and mayor - was provided by Paul Frees, who also did the Ghost Host in the Haunted Mansion. But those were not Paul's most famous work: he was also the voice of Pillsbury Doughboy.
The Pooped Pirate before (L) and after (R).
Photos: Tellnotales.com
and FilmEdge (c)
Disney
The most famous pirate of the entire ride - besides the newly added Jack Sparrow, Davy Jones and Captain Barbossa for the movie tie-in - is the Pooped Pirate. Originally, the Pooped Pirate was shown boasting and waving a lady's lingerie while a woman peeked up from inside an oak barrel behind his back. But that was too raunchy for Disney - the Pooped Pirate was changed to the gluttonous pirate (the woman in the barrel was replaced by a cat) and then to a regular fat pirate holding the key and map (with Jack Sparrow in the barrel). X Atencio didn't like the change, and said that the ride was Pirates, not Boy Scouts of the Caribbean ...
If you love the new Jack Sparrow animatronics, check this YouTube clip where Johnny Depp met his robot counterpart:
When Pirates of the Caribbean first opened, people thought that real
flame was used for the burning town scene. Actually, the flickering flames
are created by illuminating strips of cellophane blowing through the air.
The fake flames are so convincing that the Anaheim Fire
Department requested that they be automatically turned off in case of
fire so firefighters can fight the real blaze and not waste time battling
artificial ones! (Source
Remember the jail scene where several characters were trying to get the key from the dog? The whistling guy in the middle is based on a janitor that used to work at what is now called Walt Disney Imagineering.
Just because the ride is dark, it doesn't mean that The Mouse doesn't see any hanky pankies goin' on. Like other rides in Disneyland, the Pirates of the Caribbean has many infrared security cameras - park operators can see what young lovers try to do. Sometimes they use the PA system to ... erhm, gently remind them that they're actually in public. Sometimes, if the deed is done, Disney cast members would applaud the romancin' riders who would then realize that they were being watched all along.
Purists: nostalgic about the original Pirates of the Caribbean ride? Here's a neat YouTube clip from the Wonderful World of Disney:
Now, I'm sure I missed a whole lot of neat Pirates of the Caribbean trivia - Do you have anything to add? Please do so in the comment section. (And if you like this Neatorama Fact feature, what should we do next? The Haunted Mansion? Indiana Jones Adventure? Space Mountain?)
More Disney Articles on Neatorama:
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Perhaps this is the way to deal with Somali pirates, and get a little R&R at the same time: a Russian luxury cruise line is offering wealthy customers the chance to hunt pirates!
Wealthy punters pay £3,500 per day to patrol the most dangerous waters in the world hoping to be attacked by raiders.
When attacked, they retaliate with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers, reports Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt.
Passengers, who can pay an extra £5 a day for an AK-47 machine gun and £7 for 100 rounds of ammo, are also protected by a squad of ex special forces troops.
Update 6/26/09 – It’s a hoax, though I think the proposed (morbid and not to mention unethical) solution is still a matter of interesting debate – Thanks rb!
A ship discovered off the coast of North Carolina in 1997 has been identified by experts as the Queen Anne’s Revenge, a ship used by the pirate Blackbeard. The ship was originally named Le Concorde before the pirate seized it from its French crew in 1717. Artifacts, such as this apothecary weight featuring two fleurs-de-lis, helped to identify the ship as Blackbeard’s.
Le Concorde’s surgeon, who was forced to serve briefly in Blackbeard’s crew, may have owned the weights, designed for pharmaceuticals. Pirates could have also used the weights to measure gold dust, experts say.
See more pictures at National Geographic. Link
(image credit: Wendy M. Welsh, North Carolina Department of Cultural Resources)
