Bad Fiction Winners 2009

Posted by Queuebot in Book & Literature on July 7, 2009 at 10:29 am

Yes, in the midst of sweet, sunny, sweltering, early-summer days, with the gnats swirling around your head and the bees singing their bzzzzy song, the incomparable results of the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have risen from the depths of a writer’s dark and stormy mind to torture readers yet again. And if you think that sentence was bad, you should read this year’s winning entry:

“Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin’ off Nantucket Sound from the nor’ east and the dogs are howlin’ for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the “Ellie May,” a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin’ and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests.”

That gem was written by 55-year-old David McKenzie of Federal Way, Washington. Honors also go to runner-up Warren Blair of Ashburn, Virginia and winners in various fiction categories. Link

From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by Allivymar.

 
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