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Did
you hear the one about the jokes inscribed on ancient Babylonian tablets?
No, that's no joke: researchers studying a 3,500-year old tablet from ancient Mesopotamia have intepreted riddles and jokes about (surprise!) sex, politics and beer.
Some of the decoded riddles are crude and sexual, while others are complex and metaphorical. One of them reveals what appears to be a bit of political humor, albeit with a dark, violent twist.
He gouged out the eye:
It is not the fate of a dead man.
He cut the throat: A dead man (-Who is it?)The answer is a governor.
"This riddle describes the power of a governor namely to act as a judge who punishes or sentences to death," write Streck and Wasserman in the journal article.
Wasserman has seen examples in other Akkadian texts of people criticizing their leaders. "We have some interesting traces of political criticism, and [I] might say even say political anger," he said. "It could be a kind of political humor expressed in this governor riddle."
While the governor riddle reflects a sort of gallows' humor, others are much lighter.
In(?) your mouth and your teeth (or: your urine)
constantly stared at you
the measuring vessel of your lord (-What is it?)The answer, it appears, is beer.
Previously on Neatorama: World's Oldest Joke Traced to Sumeria in 1900 B.C.
Every
year, comedians compete to deliver the world's ... okay, okay,
Scotland's funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. This year's
winner is British comedian Nick Helm,
who came up with this gem:
"I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."
After you stop laughing, take a gander at a few more of the funniest jokes from the Festival:
2) Tim Vine: "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."
3) Hannibal Buress: "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works."
4) Tim Key: "Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought... once you've hired the car..."
5) Matt Kirshen: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess."
The BBC has jokes #6 to 10: Link
Some things are the same the world over. This one is from Pakistan. -via Arbroath
Dan Rowan’s “News of the Future” segment on the TV show Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In got things right a couple of times in 1969. The fall of the Berlin Wall was slated for 1989, which is what actually happened -although we haven’t seen the alligators yet. And Rowan had to pause for laughter when he mentioned Ronald Reagan would be the US president in 1988. This clip was found in the Cracked article 8 Absurd Jokes That Predicted Real Life Events. The Laugh-In video only counted as one. NSFW text. Link -via Buzzfeed
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Now that all the miners and rescue workers are safely out of the collapsed copper mine in Chile, The Brothers McLeod turn their thoughts to bringing up whoever else might happen to be deep below the surface of the earth. -Thanks, Myles!
There are a number of real-life occupations out there with titles equally (if not more) crazy. You might tell someone you are a bikini inspector or a mattress tester, but these people can tell about their occupation with a straight face. Can you imagine making a living by watching paint dry?
One such person is Keith Jackson from the UK, who for the last 30 years, has been assessing the time it takes for his company’s paint to dry. By gently touching test area on his work station wall, Mr. Jackson times how long it takes for a paint to stop being wet. It might seem horribly unnecessary, but keep in mind that there are places out there which have to occasionally be painted in record fast time (like subway stations or freeways), and it’s up to Mr. Jackson to see just how his company’s formula is holding up.
From the Upcoming 
ueue, submitted by milos87.
Can’t … resist … posting … about these Star Trek groaners compiled by our very own Miss C:
Question: How many ears does Picard have?
Answer: Three. A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.Question: What did the blonde Klingon say?
Answer: "It was a good day to dye."Question: What is Thomas Riker’s dating philosophy?
Answer: "If at first you don’t succeed, try Troi again."
More here: Link | If you like that, you should visit the Shaggy Dog Story Archive
Peterman’s Eye has a neat post analyzing (okay, more like gently ‘splaining) the classic "man walks into a bar" joke. Includes some of the best groaners I’ve read in ages, such as:
Inanimate objects can walk into a bar: Three fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don’t serve your type in here."
And my favorite:
A duck walks into a bar. And he says to the bartender "Got any grapes?" The bartender says "No, I don’t have any grapes." The duck walks out, sorely disappointed.
So the next day, he walks back into the bar, asks the same question, gets the same answer.
The day after, he walks back into the bar, and again, asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender, having still not figured out why this duck seems to think he may have some grapes, says to the duck, "No, and if you come back in here tomorrow and ask me if I have any grapes, I will nail your bill to the bar!"
The duck frowns, turns around, and walks out of the bar. So the next day, the duck walks back into the bar, and asks the bartender "Got any nails?"
The bartender says, "No."
So the duck says, "Got any grapes?"
