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After all the impressive additions they’ve given this world, it’s easy to think of famous inventors as brilliant creators who can simply do no wrong. But the reality is that no one is perfect and just because someone came up with a device that revolutionized the world around them doesn’t mean they didn’t have their share of failures as well. Here are some of the less famous (for good reason) inventions of some of the greatest inventors on Earth.
Edison had over 2000 patents by the time he died, so it’s not really much of a surprise that among his innovations on the phonograph, the light bulb, the kinetoscope and the telephone, he also had some utter failures as well.
Interestingly, one of his worst failures was actually a great idea that was just too far ahead of its time for the current technology. The Edison Doll was the inventor’s attempt to bring the joy of the phonograph to children. While talking dolls are common place these days and widely loved by little girls around the globe, the problems with the Edison Talking Doll were many. For one thing, phonographs of the time still had to be manually cranked at the appropriate speed in order to play correctly. That’s asking a lot for a child to do with her toy. Another problem was that even when cranked at the proper speed, the doll sounded simply terrible because voice recording still wasn’t very good at the time. In fact, Edison himself admitted “the voices of the little monsters were exceedingly unpleasant to hear.” As if those two issues weren’t bad enough, the mini phonograph inside the doll was incredibly fragile –meaning even if a little girl did manage to play the sound at the right speed and not run away from the shrieking abomination, she’d almost certainly destroy the wax record after only a short amount of play time.
Of course, all the new technology didn’t come cheap and the doll would cost between $10 and $25 depending on the outfit she came in. That’s the equivalent of between $240 and $600 these days, which is a whole lot to spend on a doll that terrifies your daughter and breaks without any effort. Of 2,500 made, only 500 were sold and most of the dolls were returned. With all of these failures, it’s no wonder the doll was only sold for a few short weeks in early 1890. Of course, the rarity of the failure has only increased the doll’s value over the last century. These days, an Edison doll in good condition can easily go for over $15,000 –and that’s without the original phonograph, since most of the excess inventory was sold off without a sound device inside.
The terrible toy doll wasn’t Edison’s only failure though. In fact, his best-known failure was in his push for concrete housing complete with concrete furniture, even concrete pianos. Edison believed these cheap creations would be a good way to solve the housing crisis and allow low-income families to enjoy the finer things in life without spending a fortune. In 1917, he and Charles Ingersoll offered 11 concrete homes (that’s them above) up for sale for only $1,200 –a third of the cost of an average home. Even so, they didn’t manage to sell a single one.
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Caught
cheating? In my days, that's an automatic fail.
But not anymore, at least not in St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada! Teachers there are forbidden to fail a student caught cheating:
The school board had defended the policy change, on grounds that cheating students could still be disciplined — including a suspension from school — and that a failing grade did not resolve whether the student had actually learned an assignment.
But critics said the policy helped coddle students, and gave a signal that cheating does not have serious consequences.
Ever since digital cameras and Photoshop have become commonplace in our society, more and more people have decided that they are “professional photographers” despite having no training or experience. You Are Not A Photographer compiles these terrible images in one convenient location. While some of the pictures aren’t utterly terrible, others, like the one above, seem to be disasters that someone decided are “artistic.”
And in case you’re wondering, yes, all of the images come from people who claim to be professionals.
No one’s worse at living a normal life than the people in infomercials, as evidenced by this supercut of “you’re doing it wrong” moments from product ads. Seriously, how hard is cling wrap, really? And unless you’re trying, it’s hard to imagine a situation in which a cracked egg might land right in the burner plate.
via pleated-jeans
This guy set out to build the biggest domino pyramid ever, with 13,482 dominoes. He spent five weeks, or 30 hours of work, and stacked 13,043 of the dominoes when the unthinkable happened. -via the Presurfer
This building apparently doesn’t have a freight elevator. In order to avoid carrying boxes upstairs, these guys hatched a plan. The language in the video is Turkish, and the video was posted to a Russian video site, where there is no more information available. -via Buzzfeed
Update: This is an award-winning ad for a Turkish bank. You can see the full version here. -Thanks, Murat!
Guangdong Enterprises is selling a coffee cup to commemorate “The Fairytale Romantic Union Of All The Centuries,” the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. There’s just one little problem…. Link -via Arbroath
A 275-foot smokestack was demolished and fell the wrong wrong way today in Springfield, Ohio. The tower brought down power lines and crushed equipment. There were no injuries, but 8,000 people were left without power. Link -via Metafilter
Neatoramanaut Algonquin recorded his sister showing off gymnastics moves on the porch. The descriptions reads: “Nadia Comaneci has serious competition towards this gifted gymnast.” She’s a good sport for allowing this to be uploaded.
One thing that can make you feel better about the weird things in your home is to see how much worse it could be. A plumbing information site compiled stories, links, and videos of plumbing disasters that range from “substandard” to “Rube Goldberg”! Link -via Dark Roasted Blend
Does two wrong make a right? Perhaps not, but two fails do cancel each other out!
Cubiclebot has a video clip of a bicycle rider going the wrong way hitting a pedestrian who was jaywalking. Watch how two "fails" cancel each other out: Link
Wait for it… wait for it… and let’s hope he has a backup camera. -via Digg
This is just about the only time in life when FAIL makes me really, really happy. Maybe part of the reason why Los Angeles is having such a fiscal crisis is that these FAIL meters are becoming a pretty regular occurrence around town. Oh, well. As the old saying goes: Don’t look a broken parking meter in the, er, hand that feeds, well… whatever.
Adding subtitles is work best left done to professionals. Professionals usually work only with languages they actually speak and read. Urlesque has a collection of screen captures featuring subtitles so bad they deserve to be kept for posterity. Some are TV feeds, which have to be done in an instant, but most are bootlegged movies transcribed by ear, or possibly by alchemy. Link
Hannah Estes, a four-year old fourth grader from Coleville, Texas, spotted something designers and thousands of tourists had not for 11 years. She spotted an error on a sign to the Primeval Whirl ride at Disney’s Animal Kingdom in Orlando.
The sign counted down the time to the ride: 5 seconds, 4 seconds, 3 seconds, 2 seconds, 1 seconds.
“I read it out loud, and I’m like, ‘Hey, that doesn’t sound right,” Hannah said. “A singular number can’t be with a plural.”
So she snapped a photo of the sign and wrote the top brass at Disney in California and Florida. The response was “almost immediate,” said her father, Keith Estes.
The company expressed sentiments similar to those of her mother, Terri Estes, who said: “It’s been up for 11 years, and Hannah’s the first to catch and report it. It’s just amazing that it got past the designers, cartoonists and thousands of tourists, and it took a fourth-grader to catch it.”
Disney officials told Hannah they would fix the sign immediately and thanked her for pointing out the error. They also sent her a certificate making her an honorary Imagineer, a special-edition collector’s pin and an Imagineering Field Guide book.
From the Upcoming 
ueue, submitted by Geekazoid.
Everyone loves a good love story, but when you’re single or competitive, sometimes it’s nice to hear a story about an epic romantic fail to help cheer you up. That’s why we’ve decided to help brighten your Valentine’s Day with this depressingly hilarious list of romantic misfires. If you’re alone on the holiday, it should help remind you that relationships don’t always mean smooth sailing. If you’re in a relationship, these stories might just help you avoid tragic mishaps of your own. Whatever your specific situation this year, have a happy Valentine’s Day and try not to end up like one of these poor suckers.
Putting a ring inside your girl friend’s Wendy’s Frosty may seem romantic, but when you and your friends encourage her to chug it, you might just ruin the surprise. At least, that’s what happened to Reed Harris, when his girlfriend, Kaitlin Whipple, opened up her gullet and downed the contents on her Frosty, only to see her cheering crowd suddenly go blank and look at each other with worry. “I felt nothing at all,” she told Lauer. “I was racing my friends, so there was no way I was going to lose that competition.”
That’s right, Kaitlin drank her engagement ring and had to go to the hospital, where the ring was found via X-ray. Reed proposed to Kaitlin with the X-ray image of the ring in place of the actual jewelry. A few days later, with the help of plenty of fiber, the couple recovered the ring –and promptly had it cleaned!
Source: MSNBC Image via Kaitlin’s Website.
Lest you think that Kaitlin is the only woman to have swallowed her diamond ring during an engagement proposal gone wrong, here’s a proposal story that “takes the cake.” Mr. Chen, a resident of China, thought it would be really romantic to bake his engagement ring into a cake to surprise his girlfriend. Chen said he was inspired by romantic comedies he’s seen, which always tends to be a bad start.
His girlfriend, Wen, was eating the cake when he bent down on his knee to propose, and then she suddenly passed out. “I realized I had just swallowed the ring with a full mouth of cake,” she said.
Chen called the police who told him to visit the hospital, where they were able to use a catheter to remove the ring. When Wen woke up, she promptly said yes.
Source: Ananova Image via Chotda [Flickr] (not the actual cake in the story)
Admittedly, giving your girlfriend a balloon and then having a ring fall out when you pop it is really romantic, but I’m sure we can all see the infinite number of things that could go wrong through this method of “popping the question.” Lefkos Hajji didn’t consider all those potential problems when he had a florist hide a ring worth over $1,000 inside a balloon.
Thought the florist warned him to hold on tight to the balloon, Lefkos lost the balloon moments after leaving the shop when a gust of wind tore it from his hands. He claims he chased the balloon in his car for two days before he gave up hope. “I just watched as it went further and further into the air. I felt like such a plonker. It cost a fortune and I knew my girlfriend would kill me.”
While Lefkos may get a lot of points on the romantic scale, his inability to see the obvious dangers in this plan indicate that he may be a little short on the intelligence side. Evidence that his IQ is lower than the average bear is even stronger when you consider that the girl he is so in love with, presumably for her kindness and lovingness, refuses to speak with him until he gets her a new one. Personally, I would laugh and feel bad if my boyfriend did something like this. Of course, I think if he were to come up with a plan like this, he’d have an easy work around to prevent the danger from ever happening. –For example, this all could have been avoided if Lefkos put a note that said “will you marry me” in the balloon and then handed the girl the ring when she read the note. It’s just as sweet, not as dangerous.
Source: The Sun UK Image via Kaptain Kobold [Flickr] (not the balloon in the story)
I’ve always thought that if you were going to ask a girl to marry you in front of a massive audience, you’d better know she’s going to say yes. In this situation, even if the girl says yes, you still can’t be sure she actually meant it when she had that much pressure on her to agree. Of course, not every girl will say yes no matter how much she feels pressure, as seen in the video above, where a woman rejects her prospective husband in front of a full arena and tv cameras.
Video link
Like women swallowing wedding rings, rejecting potential spouses in public is not entirely uncommon. This woman’s face tells the answer before he even asks. This could have been a really romantic moment of television, but when the girl’s obviously not into it, the result is just plain awkward…not to mention painful. This couldn’t have been good for the show’s ratings.
Video link
Sometimes all it takes for a proposal to go wrong is a little too much romance. When one man proposed on top of a steep hiking trail, the girl was so excited that she managed to fall off the cliffs after excitedly saying yes. She dropped ten feet off a steep rockface (like the one seen above) and went unconscious after hitting the ground. Luckily, park police were able to fly her out of the area with a helicopter and none of her injuries were life-threatening.
Source: NY Daily News Image via Sharron McClellan [Flickr]
It’s generally not a great idea to use government resources to scare the hell out of your girlfriend just so you can pop the question, but Baltimore State Delegate Jon S. Cardin is far too much of a risk-taker to heed such common sense. As such, he thought it would be a great idea to borrow a friend’s yacht and then convince local, on-duty police to raid the vessel with both boats and a helicopter, all in a strange, elaborate method of proposing to his girlfriend. Officers searched the boat and Megan Homer thought she was about to be handcuffed when Jon bent down on one knee and asked for her hand.
Unfortunately for Mr. Cardin, officials for the Baltimore Police Department asked for his explanation. The officials were furious to hear about such an abuse of police resources when the city was already strapped for resources and police were in short supply even at dangerous crime scenes. Anthony Guglielmi, the Police Department’s chief spokesman, stated “The Police Department is not in the business of renting out the helicopter and the boats for bachelor parties and birthdays. We’re in the business of upholding public safety in Baltimore.”
When Cardin actually addressed the public about the matter, he claimed the police performed a “routine safety check,” and left out the part about the helicopter. At least he promised to reimburse the city for any expenses related to the proposal.
Source: Baltimore Sun Image via Chris Hau [Flickr]
Marriage proposals are not the only romantic gestures that go wrong of course. Even something as simple as a kiss can go very, very wrong in some situations. Take for example the Chinese woman who became partially deaf for two months after receiving a mind-numbingly passionate kiss from her lover. Somehow the kiss created pressure build up in her head so severe that her right ear drum blew out, leaving it completely deaf.
“While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution,” said the Chinese newspaper that originally covered the story.
Source: Reuters Image via Life Photographer Alfred Eisenstaedt
Speaking of kisses that really make an impact, it’s important to know the cultural implications of public displays of affection before you kiss someone publicly on stage. Richard Gere learned this the hard way when he managed to piss off practically everyone in India by kissing the Celebrity Big Brother winner, Shilpa Shetty, on stage during an Aids awareness rally in New Dehli. In India, it is considered obscene to publicly display any form of affection and Gere’s kissing Shetty’s hands and face were considered vulgar to those watching. Some people were so incensed by his actions that they actually burned effigies of him on the street, while protesters in other areas shouted “death to Shilpa Shetty.”
Source: BBC
Getting a life-sized portrait of your wife and children tattooed on your back might not be on most people’s to do list, but it most certainly displays a life-long commitment to your spouse. Unfortunately for Alan Jenkins, his wife was most certainly not willing to return the favor. While he was going through the 20-hour long, $1500 process of a full-back tattoo, she was busy cheating with a man who was 10-years-her-junior that she met at work. Of course, Alan didn’t find out until after the tattoo was complete, “I had it because I thought we loved each other – I feel very betrayed.” Strangely, he’s decided to not have her image removed.
His wife, Lisa, tried to defend herself by saying she never meant to fall in love with fitness instructor Kaspars Gavars and that she never wanted Alan to get the tattoo in the first place. Still, waiting for your husband to complete his tattoo before you tell him about your affair is pretty heinous.
This incident reminds me of the scene in “Born In East L.A.” where Cheech is told to remove the tattoo of a woman on someone’s back. Since he obviously can’t remove it, he draws devil horns and a mustache on the face. Maybe Alan needs to see this movie for some ideas.
Source: Daily Mail UK
In olden times, it was ok to walk your sweetie all the way down the tarmac just to spend the most possible time together before kissing each other goodbye, but in the days of the TSA, it’s not so simple. Personally, I thought this was pretty common knowledge, but I guess I was wrong because apparently, because one man actually shut down a whole airport for five hours just to kiss his girlfriend goodbye.
The couple remains unidentified, but I’m sure more than a few people at the airport wish they knew who was responsible for making every single passenger go through security a second time, delaying flights for hours. The TSA agent that left his post, letting the man slip into the secure area undetected, was suspended on administrative leave.
Source: Reuters Image
One of the most frequent reasons men seem to get in trouble for romantic gestures is in a strange attempt to impress a girl. While outrageous methods occasionally catch a woman’s eye, many stupid ideas not only fall flat, but also result in arrests and mayhem.
James Miller is a perfect example. This young Romeo had a bit too much to drink one night and decided that relying on cupid wasn’t good enough to take his relationship to the next level –instead, he decided, he needed to be cupid. So he took the next logical step and jumped onto the field of a soccer game dressed in only his boxers, shooting roses from an arrow at the crowd of entertained onlookers.
Naturally, he was arrested, fined and banned from any further soccer games for the next three years. Unfortunately for Miller though, his girlfriend, Jade Thompson, had quite the opposite reaction to his stunt and dumped him shortly after the incident. To make matters worse, since he’s in the military, his superior officers warned that he may even be court-martialed for the stunt.
“That sort of behavior always seems to work some romantic magic in the movies. Now I have no girlfriend and no job,” he explained outside of a courtroom hearing.
Source: Telegraph UK
What could be worse than streaking along a soccer field to impress a girl? Drunkenly stealing a plane and then crashing it into a soybean field. Michael Santos had already lost his driver’s license permanently, but that didn’t deter his desire to impress his girlfriend by showing her that he could fly a plane.
So, he drove her to the airport while drunk, broke into a plane and then managed to catch the wing on fire before he even reached the end of the taxiway. He then missed a curve in the runway veered into a soybean field and cut up a bunch of the plants with the plane’s propeller. Police estimate the damage to be around $160,000.
No word yet on whether his girlfriend actually stuck by him after this moronic stunt, but the fact that she got into the plane with her drunken boyfriend is a good indicator that she seems to lack common sense enough to dump him for this.
Source: MSNBC Image via Cranky Guy Media [Flickr] (not the actual plane involved)
The spirit of capitalism is alive and well in China, or at least when it comes to trying to impress women. A man in the Heilongjiang province was arrested last year after trying to impress his girlfriend by depositing a 250 million yuan ($36.5 million) check into his bank account. The only problem, the check was a fake and he bought it only so he could look cool by depositing it in front of her.
I’m sure you can guess what happened afterward; bank clerks knew the check was fake and called the police and the man was arrested. He immediately confessed that he bought the fake check for the sake of impressing his lover.
The moral here is it’s better to be poor and honest than truthful while under arrest.
Source: China Daily
What about you readers? Have any love stories from hell, or know someone else that does? Do share.
The Huntsman spider, common in Australia, aren’t as deadly as they look, but will bite if provoked. In this video, “Daddy” does his best to safely remove the arachnid from his home. His daughter has some choice words for him afterwards.
-via Bits & Pieces
The Kids In The Hall were probably most successful at pulling off the female disguise, although they weren’t trying to fool anyone. Their skits occasionally needed women characters, and their delivery was a perfect blend of self-awareness and application.
Many times in movies and other forms of entertainment, the contriving plot demands someone dress like a woman and fool other people, ostensibly people who aren’t blind. OMG Lists compiled ten of the worst offenders, from White Chicks to Bosom Buddies. It’s a pretty accurate list, despite my affection for Tootsie.
Candy is dandy, but some folks aren’t prepared for trick-or-treaters (or else they’re just mean). We all know the neighborhood dentist who gives out toothbrushes instead of candy. Here’s a selection of alternative “treats” people have been known to disappoint trick-or-treaters with on Halloween.
8. Condiments and Cutlery
Probably from bachelor types who forgot it was Halloween – answered the door because they thought it was the pizza guy – and then mined their condiment stash so as not to disappoint. Though little containers of peanut butter and jam are passable, plastic packs of soya sauce, ketchup, relish, mustard, and plastic fork and knife sets really don’t do the trick for a treat!
From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by 
Did you ever have one of those Halloweens where your costume fell way short of awesome? I sure did. I was going to be a killer robot.
I had two boxes, a large one for my body, and a smaller one for my head. I cut armholes in the big one and a hole in the top, where the other box went. I painted the whole thing orange, and cut out eye holes. About fifteen minutes after leaving the house, I realized the total and devastating failure of my endeavor, and returned home a sad, orange robot disgrace.
I know there are other stories out there that beg sharing, like Susan’s as told to Lemondrop, among other confessions:
My brother and I dressed up as George and Martha Washington one year. (My Dad was a big history buff.) Yup, it was incredibly nerdy. And also kind of funny that I was about a foot taller than “George Washington.” (pictured, above).
More terrible costume stories at their site, but since I confessed, it’s your turn! What costume idea of yours turned out to be less than you’d hoped for?
Inspired by the now famous FAIL Blog, BookFail is a gallery of book covers of strange, absurd, and improbable books. It’s somewhat similar to the Judge a Book by its Cover blog, except that you can submit your own suggestions. Above is the The Zen of Farting by Reepah Gud Wan.
When a celebrity gives up something that he or she gets paid millions to do, in order to pursue what they feel could be their “true” calling, music, most of the population cringes. Digging through these videos was like sitting through a horror movie that I couldn’t keep my eyes off of. Joe Pesci? Kevin Costner? Guaranteed to drop jaws, here are 24 of the celebrities-gone-musicians that are awkwardly amazing in their own right, with video evidence.
From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by Peachi.
There are those who proudly put their masterpieces up on Craftster while there are those who can only ogle at them. And then there’s Craft Fail, for people who are not shamed to show their earnest, albeit unsuccessful attempts at arts and crafts. (Anyone guess what that green thing to the left is?)
From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by winnow.
Design studio Go Media has just released "the most usable sticker for real-life FAILS". Behold, the Fail Sticker.
Oh, I can think of many uses for this little puppy!
Link – via Zoomdoggle and Urlesque
Prawo Jazdy has become the bane of every Irish police officer’s life over the past few years, racking up countless fines and traffic offenses. Whenever officers pulled the offender over, they were given a different address so the police didn’t connect him to the other crimes.
Now however, police have managed to catch up with Prawo, and they’ve discovered an embarrassing truth as to why they have never caught up with him before.
When translated into English, the name Prawo Jazdy, becomes "Driving License" It seems officers pulling over Polish driving offenders have been mistakenly noting down what they thought was the offender’s name, but in fact were reading the title on the card. Officers have been warned to take more care during traffic stops in the future
“Having noticed this, I decided to check and see how many times officers have made this mistake.
“It is quite embarrassing to see that the system has created Prawo Jazdy as a person with over 50 identities.”
The officer added that the “mistake” needed to be rectified immediately and asked that a memo be circulated throughout the force.
From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by Jake.
(Links open in a new browser window/tab)
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Geophysical Survey of the World of Warcraft It turns out that WoW is really, really small: Link |
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Human Slip & Slide (It doesn't end there, folks, there's also an underwear stuffing contest!) Where do I sign up? Link |
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Double Fail at the Motorcycle Race Track |
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Shark Does a Spinning Jump Behind a Surfer Link (about time mark 0:10) |
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History of the Internet (If you like this, check out Neatorama's 10 Things You Should Know About the Internet and Wonderful World of Early Computing, Take a Stroll Down Computing Memory Lane) |
For more the web's most interesting videos, check out: VideoSift.
This woman got really, really excited when she bowled a strike. Here’s why you should never step foot on the bowling lanes …
– via videosift
To celebrate/honor/make fun of everything that happened on the Web in 2008, the staff at Urlesque blog made their own award (now that’s a neat idea!), the 2008 Urlies.
One of the funnest categories is the Meme of the Year. This year, "Fail" scored an Epic Win at the Urlies …
As far as memes are concerned, it was the year of FAIL. Sure, the four-letter word has been trolling around the web in various forms for years, but as countless image macros fueled the fire and everyone added the catchphrase to their vocabularies this year, writers were sparked to write lengthy pieces about the phenomenon — thus instigating a complete FAIL overload. Oh the irony.
And yes, Neatorama was nominated for "It" URL: Site of the Year, but we lost out to one of the neatest websites around today and one of my own personal favorites, Buzzfeed.
