If you watch Arrested Development, then you know there’s always money in the Banana Stand,  which is why this is such a great gift for any fan of the show.

Link

This great picture of Lucas Arts’ holiday card from this year made me wish I was on their Christmas card list. This particular card was sent to Bonnie Burton, the editor of The Official Star Wars Blog.

Image Via Laughing Squid

This Christmas, give you fellow priests a present they won’t soon forget: a smack to the face with brooms!

That’s what about some priests did while preparing Bethlehem’s Church of the Nativity for Orthodox Christmas on January 7:

The outburst, broken up by baton and shield-wielding Palestinian police, came to head as the Greek Orthodox and Armenian clerics, who each control a portion of the church along with Roman Catholics got into the scuffle over a ‘turf war.’ The Church of Nativity is believed to be built over the cave that marks the birthplace of Jesus.

Bethlehem police Lt-Col Khaled al-Tamimi was quoted in Reuters as saying that no one was arrested “because all those involved were men of God” while the BBC reported that the 1,700-year-old church is in bad shape because priests can’t agree on who should be footing the bill for its repair.

Link

What a wonderful Christmas morning tradition! Every year for the past 25 years, writer Nick Confalone's father taped him and his sister coming down the stairs:

Every year, our dad would tape us coming down the stairs. This is a compilation of all the videos I could find. Relatives and pets grow up and disappear, and new extended family members appear in their place. [...]

For the record, the new guy who "appears" is my sister's husband, a Nashville singer/songwriter

Hit play or go to Link [YouTube] - via Oddity Central

John already shared a Portal Christmas tree with you guys, but this Portal wrapping job is equally amazing. While this is a really cool way to wrap a present, it seems weird to buy two copies of the same game just to wrap something more creatively.

Link Via Geeks Are Sexy

Man, Christmas seems to come and go faster each year! These ads harken back to a simpler time, a time when cowboys were all the rage, and gun ads were allowed to appeal to kids during the holidays.

It’s a nice bit of nostalgia, and a few of the pics in this gallery are definitely chuckle worthy. Just don’t shoot your eye out!

Link –via BoingBoing

Before there were forests, wispy plants fell on each other in their struggle to reach the sun, like clumsy teenagers unsure of their growing bodies. Then one plant evolved a simple woody stem. It could grow taller than the other plants, and it stole light from them. It poisoned them with shade. Wars ensued that have lasted hundreds of millions of years. Trees of many kinds arose and struggled with each other to be taller. Any species that does not participate in battle loses out in the darkness of the understory—any species except a few. Those in the clan of the sandalwood evolved a way out of the darkness. They survived by stealing from the trees what they had spent their tall stems fighting for.

Sandalwood discovered deceit. Its roots kissed the roots of trees and slipped inside them to steal. But sandalwood still needed to grow up a little and put out a few green leaves to have enough sugar to thrive. And then came mistletoes. Mistletoe is a common name for several independent lineages descended from sandalwood. Like their ancestors, mistletoe species sink their roots into trees. Unlike those ancestors, they do so in the sky.

The story continues to explain how mistletoe developed its way of reproducing in the treetops. Link

(Image credit: Flickr user Darwin Bell)

No question, Atari would have been a great gift for you in 1981. I did get you a skateboard. As you skated around your neighborhood that spring you met your best friend for life, Victor. You ran over the girl you’d eventually bring to your senior prom, Dominique. If you’d spent all that time indoors playing Atari, maybe your life wouldn’t have taken these turns. Sometimes I’m not able to give children the gift they want, but I can give them a gift they’ll use and enjoy that is maybe the perfect gift for them at that moment. Part of believing in the spirit of the Holidays is trusting in that spirit.

Read more at The Hairpin. Link

Zach Braff and Donald Faison from the TV show Scrubs recorded a Christmas song and uploaded it to YouTube this morning as a Christmas greeting. -via reddit

Four-year-old Dominic McCracken-Bruce and his 2-year-old brother Tyson only asked for one thing for Christmas -their Mommy. Army Reserve Capt. Dawn McCracken-Bruce was deployed to Iraq and Kuwait for the past nine months. When she came home for the holidays, she and her husband decided to surprise the boys during their visit with Santa Claus at the Mall at Robinson in Pittsburgh. See the video at WTAE. Link -via Fark

Yesterday, I posted Anthony Bordain’s great Krampus Carol and now for those of you who want a terrifying reminder of the evil Christmas character inside your own home, you can always look to this great doll from Shove Mink of Croshame. While the link doesn’t have any directions to make your own, the pictures can still provide you with a good starting point if you’re already a skilled crocheter.

Link Via Laughing Squid

If you love Christmas animations, but start to feel like they’re a little too old and cliched, here’s the real reason why intrepid animators never update them to fit in with modern times.

Link Via Laughing Squid

(Video Link)

If you’re one of the many people who has become obsessed with Skyrim, but your wife keeps insisting that you put up the Christmas lights, what do you do? Why make Skyrim-themed lights of course!

Via BuzzFeed

(Video Link)

In honor of all of the great action movies that take place on Christmas, 39 Degrees brings you Gundog, the greatest action movie animal of all time.

Via BuzzFeed

Image: Donna Stolz/University of Pittsburgh/Nikon Small World

What better way to say Merry Christmas than with this fantastic wreath made from collage images of mammalian cells by biologist Donna Beer Stolz (what wonderful middle name!) of University of Pittsburgh? She won 19th place at the 2011 Nikon Small World Photomicrography Competition.

Previously on Neatorama: Lives Within a Drop of Water and Making the Ordinary, Extraordinary (images from the Nikon Small World)

Mike Maihack of Cow Shell Graphics drew this fabulous Christmas comic featuring Batgirl and Supergirl's plan to bring holiday festivities to crime fighting. Love the pom-poms on Batgirls' ears! Link - via Nerd Approved

So that’s how the big guy in the red suit delivers all those toys in one night! I wonder if he happens to be friends with a Time Lord, and what other tricks does he have up his sleeve, say for those on his naughty list? The world may never know…

Link

(YouTube Link)

Here’s a silly little animated short for all you Team Fortress fans out there, starring everyone’s favorite firebug Rudolph! Watch as he tries to burn the competition, and sing along as he is admonished for being such a useless class! Merry multiplayer mayhem to all, and to all a good fight!

–via Ology

Ben Lean recorded these scenes in Toronto December 16-18 and presents the shopping frenzy in time-lapse for your enjoyment. Aren’t you glad you’re through with Christmas shopping? What -you aren’t? Ha! -via Nag on the Lake

The flagpole scene from the movie A Christmas Story is recreated by hotdogs! Don’t miss the surprise ending. -via The Daily What

Technically Festivus was yesterday, but in case you couldn’t get the day off work and will be celebrating today, the link has more information on America’s favorite television-inspired Christmas alternative.

Link Via Geekosystem

(Video Link)

You may recall Teddy’s earlier video where he eats corn, but here he is getting into the holiday spirit with a delicious Christmas cookie.

Via I Can Has Cheezburger

While Christmas would certainly be a lot more simple with a Santa Dalek, I don’t know that I’d consider it “saving” the holiday when they’ve exterminated everyone.

Link Via Geeks Are Sexy

Did you know that Swedes love to watch Donald Duck on Christmas Eve or that Icelandic children are raised under the threat of a cruel Christmas cat? Mental Floss has a great article about Christmas traditions around the world, my favorite of which is the Gävle goat of Sweden:

In the Swedish town of Gävle, the goat became an effigy made of straw, built in the town square every year since 1966. At 13 meters tall, the Gävle Goat towers over the townspeople. The very first straw goat in 1966 was mysteriously set on fire at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Since then, the goat has been erected every year, and burned by unknown individuals about half of those years. Locals take sides, with some protecting the goat with schemes like soaking it in water, while others plot its demise.

I don’t know about you guys, but I want to be on a goat protection or destruction team next year!

Link

Cats get a bad rap for not getting in to the the holiday spirit, but plenty of felines do have a soft spot for the holiday. In fact, BuzzFeed has a great collection of pictures of kitties celebrating Christmas. From cats climbing Christmas trees to kittens playing with presents, the pictures are all simply adorable.

Link

(YouTube Link)

The holidays are in full swing, and everyone wants to share good tidings with one another in their own unique way via the interwebs. The animators in this group are no different, and they have a particularly endearing way of showing their love for the holidays.

Enjoy this adorable short by Muckpuddy Animation of New Zealand, and head to the link to check out the other three shorts that are as stylishly diverse as they are charming.

Link

The Addis family loves Legos…a lot. As in, this 100,000 brick Santa Dalek isn’t their only massive Christmas creation. Every year they make an equally impressive creation ranging from giant nutcrackers to mail boxes to angels. This year’s Dalek is certainly my personal favorite, but the rest are definitely worth a look.

Link Via BuzzFeed

(Video Link)

I’m not sure how many No Reservations fans we have here at Neatorama, but if you caught Bordain’s Christmas special, you’ll not that this animation was lacking from the final cut. That’s because executives found it a bit too creepy. Personally, I found the Samantha Brown scene to be far, far more terrifying than this animation, but she gives me the creeps anyway.

Via Laughing Squid

To be fair, not all of these adorable treats are all that Christmasy, but those that are will certainly put a holiday smile on your face.

Link

I would love having one of these in my house except that I couldn’t help but feel like I was counting down the days to my own EXTERMINATion rather than Christmas.

Link Via Craftzine

(Video Link)

While that headline could be used for an article about modern-day Scrooges, I meant it quite literally. This fat kitty hates being dressed as Santa and its reactions are quite funny.

Via BuzzFeed

Concluding our look back at retro Christmas wishes, we check out the groovy gear people were digging back in 1975. Unlike previous decades, which were mostly about the toys, this one’s all about stylin’ and profilin’. And they even included the grown folks in this gallery of fashion regret, so take a gander and see what people put on their lists over 35 years ago. Pant sets FTW!

Link

The blog Hey! Look at My Toys! is hosting a contest for Christmas nativity scenes made from toys and action figures. The nine finalists are presented for voting. At first, I wanted to use a picture of the scene featuring a unicorn, then the one with Pee Wee Herman as Joseph, but then I saw this one by Nathan N. See them all at the site. Link -via Unreality magazine

Darren Hayes shares the story of a truly memorable Christmas from his childhood. He grew up to form half the musical duo Savage Garden. The song is the instrumental version of “Bloodstained Heart” from his latest album Secret Codes and Battleships. Link -via Laughing Squid

Redditor lahaff got his brother a Christmas gift and was determined to wrap it in a manner that would take all day to unwrap it. First, he welded it inside a metal casing. But that’s just the first step! See the rest of the process in a wordless photo essay that will leave you shaking your head. Then we’ll just pretend his brother won’t hear about it before Christmas. Link -via reddit

Apollo 8 wasn’t just a NASA mission; it was the biggest, coolest, most mind-blowing Christmas special of all time.

The men of Apollo 8 -Frank Borman, James Lovell, and William Anders- had their work cut out for them. They were slated to become the first humans ever to leave the Earth’s orbit, enter lunar orbit, and see the far side of the Moon. But as their launch date approached in December 1968, NASA added an even more terrifying task to the crew’s to-do list: public speaking. The agency wanted the astronauts to host a live broadcast from the spacecraft on Christmas Eve. Worse still, the men were given only one cryptic instruction: “Say something appropriate.”

The astronauts were in a tough spot. When millions of people of different faiths and backgrounds are listening, what exactly constitutes appropriate? To make matters trickier, 1968 had been a grim year for Americans -the Vietnam War was raging, and Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr. had both been assassinated. How could the astronauts simultaneously orbit the Moon, introduce millions to outer space on TV, and buoy the American spirit?

The men were stumped. They began enlisting the help of media experts, who were mostly just as clueless as they were. The answer finally came from the wife of Joe Laitin, a former reporter who’d worked as a public affairs officer under five presidents. She made an elegant, simple suggestion: Why not just read from the book of Genesis?

The astronauts jumped at the idea. They reasoned that genesis had a broad enough appeal across religions to add a hint of spirituality without ostracizing non-Christians. Borman, the mission’s commander, had the first ten verses typed onto fireproof paper and tucked the sheet into his flight plan. The astronauts had their script.

The broadcast began with the crew showing some of the first images of Earth ever seen from space. Lovell remarked, “The vast loneliness up here of the Moon is awe-inspiring, and it makes you realize just what you have back there in Earth.”

Viewers were captivated. But as airtime dwindled, Anders revealed that the crew had a special message for all the people of the planet. He started with the familiar “In the beginning, God created the heaven and the Earth…”

He read the first four verses; Lovell read four more. Borman recited the last two and ended the show, saying, “And from the crew of Apollo 8, we close with a good night, good luck, a Merry Christmas, and God bless all of you -all of you on the good Earth.”

In the end, the crew’s effort paid off. Half a billion people tuned in, making it the largest TV event in history at the time, and the reception was overwhelmingly positive; even Walter Cronkite admitted that he had tears in his eyes. Of course, not everyone on Earth was thrilled; one atheist activist sued NASA for interjecting religion into a government project, but the Supreme Court dismissed the lawsuit. Enough nitpicking! The Christmas Eve special won an Emmy, and Time made the crew the magazine’s “Men of the Year” for 1968. The broadcast was truly out of this world.

(YouTube link)

_______________________

The article above, written by Ethan Trex, is reprinted with permission from the Scatterbrained section of the November-December 2011 issue of mental_floss magazine. Get a subscription to mental_floss and never miss an issue!

Be sure to visit mental_floss‘ website and blog for more fun stuff!

The Joy of Tech sorts out the folks who shop -or don’t- for Christmas gifts. You can see a larger version at the site if the print is too small here. Which one are you? Link -via Nag on the Lake

There’s a danger in buying Christmas gifts without thinking of what they really mean. You might be surprised at some of the available gifts that send an awful message! Our own Jill Harness rounded up some of the strangest items advertised as Christmas gifts that might ruin a relationship because of the implied message behind them. And if you were to receive one of these, at least you know how much they really care. Pictured is a belly button brush -just what Mom always wanted. Link

Neatorama presents

It’s a Wonderful Life is on the American Film Institute’s list of “100 Greatest Movies Ever made” (coming in at #11) and was voted the #1 spot on the list of “Most Inspiring Movies of All-Time.” To all of us now, the film seems as much a part of the Christmas season as Santa Claus, egg nog, gift giving, and kissing under the mistletoe. But much like The Wizard of Oz and Citizen Kane, the most beloved Christmas movie of all time was a disappointing box office flop when it was first released. In fact, It’s a Wonderful Life may just have sailed away, out of our collective consciousnesses, but for television and the magic of reruns.

It wasn’t actually until the 1970s, almost 30 years after its theater debut, that It’s a Wonderful Life became the cultural icon it now is. The film’s copyright protection ended and it fell into the public domain in 1974, so stations could air it for free. Repeated airings at Christmas time in the ’70s caused millions and millions of movie fans to fall in love with this now-considered “timeless classic.”

Republic Pictures restored its copyright claim to the film in 1993, with exclusive video rights included. At present, it can only be shown on the NBC-TV network.

Directed by the wonderful Frank Capra, It’s a Wonderful Life had its official debut on December 20, 1946, and going into limited release just five days before Christmas. It didn’t go into general release until July of 1947. One has to wonder at the logic of the distributors of the film. Why put an obvious “Christmassy” film into general release after the holiday? Nowadays, that would be rather like releasing one of the Halloween films in November or the film Valentine’s Day in March. What the heck were these guys thinking?

It’s a Wonderful Life also faced an even-bigger obstacle regarding its release. It was almost completely overshadowed by another film called The Best Years of Our Lives. An indisputably beautiful, touching film, The Best Years of Our Lives was a salute to returning World War II veterans. The film showed how each one dealt with life after war. The United States, of course, still had war on its mind, and this mindset probably caused the discerning movie-goer of 1946-47 to opt for The Best Years of Our Lives and neglect It’s a Wonderful Life.

Critics, too, pretty much dismissed the film upon its release; reviews were decidedly mixed. It’s a Wonderful Life did garner five Oscar nominations, but it was shut out at the awards ceremony.

Jimmy Stewart was not the first choice to play the film’s lead, perennial All-American George Bailey. (Stewart has called George Bailey his all-time favorite role.) The studio very much wanted Cary Grant, but fate, as is its want, intervened, and Stewart, a true screen legend, was given his quintessential role. Henry Fonda was also in the running for the lead role (he would have made a perfect George Bailey, too).

Cary Grant and Ginger Rogers

Ginger Rogers also was offered the female lead as Mary Bailey, George’s devoted wife (director Capra’s perennial favorite leading lady, Jean Arthur, was unavailable). But Ginger was set to do a Broadway play and gave the offer a thumbs down. She considered the story “too bland.” Ginger never quite forgave herself for this monumental error in judgement, and Donna Reed got the part.

For Mr. Potter, the film’s resident villain, the studio wanted Vincent Price. But like Cary and Ginger, Vincent Price too passed on the deal. Lionel Barrymore snagged the role and chewed up the scenery with relish as “Old Man Potter,” the film’s miserly heavy. Barrymore was very famous at the time for his portrayals of Ebenezer Scrooge in radio presentations of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, and this made him seem tailor-made to play the penny-pinching Potter.

Sheldon Leonard, who plays George’s pa; the bartender in the movie, did accept the offer to play his role in the film. He later said the only reason he took on the role was that he wanted the money to buy Dodger tickets.

Jimmy the Raven (Uncle Billy’s pet) had already appeared in You Can’t Take It With You (1938) and was to make an appearance in every subsequent Frank Capra film. Besides Jimmy. for months before filming began, vast menageries of various animals were rounded up to give “Bedford Falls” a homey, intimate look and feel.

H.B. Warner, who plays druggist Mr. Gower in the film, had actually studied medicine in real life. There was also a very popular drugstore located on Gower Street in Hollywood which many studio employees frequented.

If you see Jimmy Stewart sweating in the scene on the bridge where he thinks of committing suicide, it is not so much his great acting. This snowy scene was actually filmed in 90-degree weather; it was real swat dripping from Jimmy’s brow.

The intense “love scene” over the telephone between George and Mary is considered one of the steamiest, most viscerally passionate love scenes ever filmed. But parts of it were edited out because it was considered a bit too racy for censors at the time.

The film beautifully and dramatically ends with the cast getting together and singing “Auld Lang Syne.” But the original plan was for the film to end to the musical strains of Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” (the song that is played at the closing credits of 1988′s Die Hard). Fortunately, this plan, like so many original ideas from the film, was nixed.

(YouTube link)

Originally, It’s a Wonderful Life needed to make $6.3 million (twice its production cost) at the box office to break even. A colossal flop, it barely eked out $3.1 million. After the film’s failure, Frank Capra’s production company went bankrupt. The film’s initial failure is theorized to this day and may possibly have been based on its dark nature. Incredibly, some executives at the studio tried to put the blame on Donna Reed and her performance. Director Capra theorized that Stewart looked “too old” in much of the film and this had a negative effect. After It’s a Wonderful Life flopped, Jimmy Stewart himself had doubts abut his post-military acting career (he had been a decorated veteran of World War II) and wondered if he could still be effective as a film actor.

But like the ugly duckling who grows into a beautiful swan, It’s a Wonderful Life has blossomed into a revered cinematic accomplishment. The film has delighted countless millions of movie fans all over the world during the holidays. We all, every one of us, has his or her own particular favorite movies, just as we all have our own favorite foods or songs or books. But like a small handful of movies, It’s a Wonderful Life is on that rare “must see” list for anyone who loves the movies or anyone who has ever felt the spirit of Christmas.

Christmas is great, but it certainly seems weird to get a tattoo for a holiday as it only comes around once a year. But I guess not everyone agrees because there are obviously enough weird Christmas tattoos for Oddee to have collected a top 10 list of them.

Link

Some needy people are getting a nice Christmas surprise this year: anonymous "layaway angels" have been donating money to pay off layaway accounts in stores from all around the country:

Wal-Mart spokeswoman Dianna Gee says layaway angels are visiting its stores "from coast to coast." At a Haleyville, Ala., Walmart, a man donated $11,000 to pay the accounts of 75 families.
The phenomenon apparently began three weeks ago when a woman paid off three layaway charges at a Grand Rapids, Mich., Kmart. Media coverage prompted a slew of copycat givers.

Generosity can be contagious, says Lisa Dietlin, a Chicago philanthropic adviser. After years of austerity, people are "knocking the economy in the eye and deciding not to be stingy this year," she says.

Last Friday, a man walked into a Hayward, Calif., Kmart with $10,000 cash to pay down layaway accounts. He used $9,800 on 63 accounts and dropped the remaining $200 in a Salvation Army kettle as he left the store.

Assistant store manager Darlene Beverly called some of the recipients. "Some scream, some holler — with joy, of course," she says. "They cry big time."

Judy Keen of USA Today has the story: Link | Photo: KSDK

This Christmas Twaggie was illustrated by artist Ingrid Doering from a Tweet by @1surlygurl. You have to feel sorry for Santa Claus -especially if you are Santa! Link

While you’re enjoying the holidays with family and friends, remember the many people who have to work straight through because it’s necessary. ZDoggMD and Dr. Harry made a video about what Christmas is like for medical folks, to the tune of “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” Link -Thanks, Doc!

Santa Fett was created by Cory Mcburnett, who is also the creator of Steampunk Fett.

Link Via Geeks Are Sexy

(Image via mattonfire)

Continuing our series of what kids wanted back in the day, we explore the 1980s-a time of excess, badass toys and fashion regrets. While kids in previous decades may have had simpler tastes, by the 80s it was all about the latest toys based on cartoons and TV shows, electronics and video game systems, sometimes all rolled into one.

I couldn’t find one site with a comprehensive list of what we all wanted for Christmas in the 80s, so I chose 3 different sites that detail most of the amazing toys from that decade:

14 Photos of Kids Opening Presents in the 80s –this one’s cute because you get to see their reaction as they get the toy/present of their dreams.

Looking Back on the Hottest 80s Toys –a list, accompanied with pictures, that briefly describes each toy. This one’s mostly aimed at girls.

Top 20 Totally Awesome Toys from the 80s –this one’s fun because it features TV commercials for most of the toys on the list.

Enjoy this look back at the fabulous toys of the 1980s, and if you still have some of these treasures in a box somewhere, they may be more valuable than you think!

]]> http://www.neatorama.com/2011/12/20/what-kids-wanted-for-christmas-in-the-80s/feed/ 8 http://www.neatorama.com/2011/12/19/these-cats-hate-christmas/ http://www.neatorama.com/2011/12/19/these-cats-hate-christmas/#comments Tue, 20 Dec 2011 07:22:27 +0000 Zeon Santos http://www.neatorama.com/?p=57653

Not everyone is happy about the holidays, and the cats in this hilarious gallery want you to know that they hate Christmas! With priceless facial expressions, and stylish clothing that they’d clearly rather not be wearing, these kittehs are guna getz rebenge on teh holidaze!

Link

You might think you’ve seen enough computerized Christmas lights by now… and I wouldn’t blame you. But this is an actual game. Angry Birds, to be precise. Former Disney Imagineer Ric Turner turned his house into the game with 20,000 lights, an FM audio channel, and controller that people can use to play from their cars! -via The Daily What

Ever wonder how the Santa Claus of 21st-century Christmas lore came about? Here’s the story of how an almost completely unknown bishop became the most recognized holiday character in Western civilization.

A MAN NAMED NICHOLAS

In the fourth century A.D., a man named Nicholas became the bishop of a village called Myra in what is now Turkey.

That’s all we know about him.

Nevertheless, Bishop Nicholas of Myra was later canonized and went on to become the most popular saint in all of Christianity. He is the guardian saint of Russia, Austria, Belgium, France, Germany, Norway, and Greece. He is the patron saint of children, virgins, pawnbrokers, pirates, thieves, brewers, pilgrims, fishermen, barrel makers, dyers, butchers, meatpackers, and haberdashers. He has more churches named after him than any of the apostles. And he has evolved into one of the best-known characters in the world -the fat, jolly, red-suited Santa Claus who delivers presents on Christmas Eve, St. Nick.

How did it happen? It took centuries.

MAKING A SAINT

It’s a pretty safe guess that the real Nicholas of Myra was a kind and generous man, because most of the legends attributed to him describe kind acts toward children. Here are two of the most famous:

1. The Three Daughters. Nicholas was walking past a house when he overheard a man telling his three daughters that he was selling them into prostitution because he didn’t have enough money for the dowries that would make them desirable wives. Later that night, Nicholas snuck back to the house and threw a bag of gold through a window. He did the same thing the following night, and then again a third night, providing enough gold for all three daughter’s dowries. (According to a later version of the story, one of the bags landed in a stocking that was hung out to dry over a fireplace.)

Because of this, he became the patron saint of young brides and unmarried women. And because he delivered financial aid at a time when the girls needed it the most, pawnbrokers made him their patron saint. To this day, the symbol of the pawnbroker trade is three balls of gold -a spinoff of St. Nick’s three bags of gold.

2. The Three Boys. For centuries, it was common to paint St. Nicholas holding his three bags of gold. But not every artist painted them well …and at some point during the Middle Ages, artist painting new pictures of the saint began mistaking the bags for three human heads. To explain this image, a second legend evolved. According to this tale, St. Nicholas checked into an inn during a terrible famine and was surprised when the innkeeper served him meat -which had been unobtainable for months- for dinner. Suspecting the worst, Nicholas snuck down into the cellar and found the pickled bodies of three murdered young boys floating in a barrel. He restored the boys to life and helped them escape.

ST. NICK AND KIDS

These tales helped make St. Nick the patron saint of children. And to honor him, Europeans began giving gifts to their children on the eve of the feast of St. Nicholas, which fell on December 6.

(Image credit: Flickr user Roel Wijnants)

Nicholas was especially popular in Holland. The Dutch St. Nick was tall and gaunt, wore the traditional dress of a bishop, including the pointed bishop’s hat (a mitre), and carried a long shepherd’s staff. He also rode on a donkey, not in a sleigh. Later, it became a white horse. On St. Nicholas’s Eve, children left shoes filled with straw for the donkey, and by morning the straw was gone and their shoes were filled with presents.

ST. NICK ARRIVES IN AMERICA

In 1664, the flourishing Dutch colony of New Amsterdam was taken over by British forces -who renamed it “New York” after the Duke of York.

For the next 200 years or so, the Dutch citizens of the colony waged a losing battle to preserve what was left of their culture and traditions. One of the most active groups was an association of Dutch intellectuals who called themselves the “Knickerbockers.”

FATHER KNICKERBOCKER

Writer Washington Irving was a member of the group, and in 1809 he published a satirical version of Dutch traditions in a book called The Knickerbocker’s History of New York. It contained several dozen references to “Sinter Klaas” (an adaptation of “Sint Nikolass”), including a tale of how he flew across the sky in a wagon and dropped presents down chimneys for good little girls and boys -not just on Christmas, but on any day he felt like it.

Irving “created a new popularity for the bishop,” Teresa Chris write in The Story of Santa Claus. “He saw Saint Nicholas in America not in clerical robes, but as a jolly fellow, like the good Dutch burghers.” And New Yorkers loved the image.

Irving’s description of the saint rapidly became known to New Yorkers. The English settlers enthusiastically adopted the joyful Dutch celebrations of St. Nicholas’ Day, but they gradually merged them with their own traditions of celebrating Christmas or the New Year. It is not hard to see how Sinter Klaas became Santa Claus in the mouths of English-speaking New Yorkers.

SANTA’S HELPER: CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE

A most important contributor to the modern image of Santa was a professor of divinity in New York -Dr. Clement Clarke Moore.

When Moore, a friend of Washington Irving, sat down to write his children a Christmas poem in 1822, he was heavily influenced by Irving’s vision of Sinter Klaas and his flying wagon and gift-giving. But Moore made a few more alterations to make the story more believable. For example, Chris writes, “The clogs that the Dutch children left by the chimney corner on December 6 became something all children could relate to in cold weather -stockings.” And the wagon became a “miniature sleigh” pulled by “eight tiny reindeer.”

The sleigh and horse with its bells was a common means of transport in New England…And for it to be pulled by reindeer gave St. Nick an exotic link with the North -a land of cold and snow where few, if any people traveled and hence was mysterious and remote.

Moore described Santa as a dwarfish “jolly old elf,” dressed in furs who goes down chimneys to give children their gifts. Moore even gave the reindeer names: Dasher, Dancer, prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder, and Blitzen. Other Christmas stories have portrayed St. Nicholas on a white horse, or with one or two reindeer -one version even had him in a cart pulled by a goat- but Moore’s account was so vivid and compelling that it became the standard.

RELUCTANT HERO

Moore never intended for anyone other than his children to hear A Visit From St. Nicholas -in fact, for more than 20 years he refused to admit he was the author (apparently because he was afraid it would damage his standing in the stuffy academic community of the 10th century). But his wife liked the story so much that she sent copies to her friends …and somehow the poem wound up printed anonymously in the Troy, New York Sentinel on December 23, 1823. It eventually became known as The Night Before Christmas. It was so popular that within a decade it had become a central part of the Santa legend…as well as the best-known poem in American history.

Now Santa had a personality and a mission, and was permanently linked to Christmas. But what did he look like?

SANTA’S HELPER: THOMAS NAST

In the mid 1800s, it was popular to draw St. Nick either in his bishop’s robes or as a man with a pointed hat, long coat, and straight beard. Sometimes he even had black hair.

This changed in 1863, when Harper’s Weekly hired 21-year-old Thomas Nast to draw a picture of Santa Claus bringing gifts to Union troops fighting the Civil War. The Santa that Nast drew combined Clement Moore’s description of St. Nicholas in his poem “Twas the Night Before Christmas” with, believe it or not …Uncle Sam. Nast’s Santa was a jolly, roly-poly old man who wore a star-spangled jacket, striped pants, and a cap.

“The drawing boosted the the spirits of soldiers and civilians alike alike because it showed that the spirit of Christmas had come to the Civil War,” says historian James I. Robertson. It was so popular, that every year, for 40 years, when the magazine asked Nast to draw Santas, he stuck with the same concept -although he did drop the stars and stripes in favor of a plain wool suit. “Hence,” Robinson says, “the American Santa Claus took shape by repetition. We just became accustomed to this same figure.”

A GROWING IMAGE

Nast added new little details every Christmas: one year he showed Santa pouring over a list of naughty and nice children; another year showed him in a toy workshop in the North Pole.

Nast also went on the become the most famous political cartoonist of the 19th century -he’s responsible for giving the Democratic Party its donkey and the Republican Party its elephant- but his Santa drawings are his best remembered works.

In fact, Nast almost singlehandedly established the Santa “image” as it is today… except in one major area: the color of his suit. That was a product of Coca-Cola.

SANTA’S HELPER: HADDON SUNDBLOM

In 1931, the Coca-Cola company hired an artist named Haddon Sundblom to create the artwork for a massive Christmas advertising campaign they were preparing.

Until then, the soda was primarily a summer drink, with sales dropping off sharply in the cooler winter months. Coke hoped to reverse this trend by somehow linking the drink to the winter holidays…and they decided the most effective way to do that would be to make Santa a Coke drinker. Sundblom was told to create a painting of Mr. Claus that the company could use in magazine advertisements.

Sundblom’s first brainstorm was to dump Nast’s black-and-white Santa suit in favor of one in Coca-Cola red and white. Then he managed to find a real-life retired Coca-Cola sales rep named Lou Prentice who looked so much like Santa he could be used as a model. Prior to the Sundblom illustrations,” Mark Pendergrast writes in For God, Country, and Coca-Cola, “the Christmas saint had been variously illustrated wearing blue, yellow, green, or red… After the soft drink ads Santa would forever be a huge, fat, relentlessly happy man with a broad belt and black hip boots-and he would wear Coca-Cola red… while Coca-Cola has had a subtle, pervasive influence on our culture, it has directly shaped the way we think of Santa.”

SANTA’S HELPER: ROBERT MAY

More commercial influence: In 1939, Montgomery Ward hired ad man Robert May to pen a Christmas poem that their department store Santas could give away during the holiday season.

He came up with one he called “Rollo the Red-Nosed reindeer.” Executives of the company accepted it, but didn’t like the name Rollo. So May renamed the reindeer Reginald -the only name he could think of that preserved the poem’s rhythm. Montgomery Ward rejected that name, too. Try as he might, May couldn’t come up with another name that fit -until his four-year-old daughter suggested Rudolph. the rest is history. When the poem was put to music and recorded by singing cowboy Gene Autry, it became the second-bestselling single in history.

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The article above is reprinted with permission from The Best of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts.

If you like Neatorama, you’ll love the Bathroom Reader Institute’s books – go ahead and check ‘em out!

(YouTube Link)

This disturbing little assault on your senses comes courtesy of British animator Cyriak, who wants to put the cry back in Christmas. This is how he sees the holiday season- yams giving birth, and skulls sporting Santa hats that explode with new life. *shivers*

–via BoingBoing

Sure baby Jesus might be a little more hairy than he is in the traditional versions, but the entire cast as a whole is much cuter in this manger scene. Anyone know where this took place?

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