Bottom 10 Records: The Worst Albums Ever Recorded
The following is an article from Uncle John's Supremely Satisfying Bathroom Reader Tired of Top 10 lists? Well, here's the cure: Bottom 10 Records, from the good folks at Bathroom Reader Institute. Behold, the official BRI countdown - and they do mean down. These don't sink any lower, folks ... These records are so bad, they're good! |
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10. EILERT PILARM: Greatest Hits Anyone who's expecting this Swedish impersonator to resemble the King will be very disappointed. Wearing white leather and rhinestones, he comes across like somebody's Uncle Olaf after a drunken weekend in Vegas. His singing sounds as if he hit puberty around age 60. Our favorite: "Yailhouse Rock." Wanna hear it? Visit Eilert Pilarm's MySpace webpage. |
9. MAE WEST: Way Out West
Is that an electric guitar in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? On this 1969 album, the then-70-year-old former sex symbol tries to prove she's still relevant by talking her way through rock classics like "Day Tripper" and "Twist and Shout." Wanna hear it? Here's the YouTube clip |
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8. PADDY ROBERTS: Songs for Gay Dogs Roberts sing about the sex life of fish in "Virgin Sturgeon" and serves up a steaming pile of potty humor with "Don't Use the WC," a song about dirty bathrooms. It's not just in bad taste - it's bad. By the way, this LP has nothing to do with Spot's alternative lifestyle. So what does the title mean? Well, most of the songs are drinking songs - maybe he was under the influence when he picked it. Wanna hear it? Amazon has the sampler. |
7. SAMMY PETRILLO: My Son, the Phone Caller
Petrillo was an awful Jerry Lewis impersonator who starred in a few el cheapo flicks, including the memorable Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla. This album features him doing moronic phone pranks like calling hospitals and saying that he's got a pregnant pet gorilla in labor, then asking how to deliver the baby. |
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6. THE NATIONAL GALLERY: Performing Musical Interpretations of the Paintings of Paul Klee Four beatniks from Cleveland introduce us to the German Expressionist painter by performing "rock-art" song versions of his paintings. Complete with acid-drenched lyrics like "Boys with toys, alone in the attic / Choking his hobby horse, thinking of his mother." Want to hear it? Check it out at Frank's Vinyl Museum |
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5. HELEN GURLEY BROWN: Lessons in Love The editor of Cosmopolitan magazine gives advice to swinging singles on the finer points of adultery. It may have been edgy back in 1963, but today it sounds like Martha Stewart reading Affairs for Dummies. Side 1 (for men) covers topics like "How to get a girl to the brink and ... keep her there when you're not going to marry her." |
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4. LITTLE MARCY: Little Marcy Visits Smokey the Bear A creepy singing ventriloquist's dummy visits Smokey and his animal pals in the woods. Part of an evangelical Christian children's act, Little Marcy had an eerie grin and a high-pitched singing voice that were probably responsible for frightening thousands of kids into becoming atheists. Wanna find out more? Visit Little Marcy's MySpace page (Don't miss the Devil Devil Go Away) |
3. MR. METHANE: Mr. Methane.com The masked Mr. Methane is a "fartiste" in the style of Frenchman Le Petomaine. He breaks new wind by pooting his way through classics like "The Blue Danube," Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, and "Greensleeves," proving conclusively that he doesn't have to be silent to be deadly. Wanna hear more? Check out the official Mr. Methane website |
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2. LUCIA PAMELA: Into Outer Space with Lucia Pamela A former Miss St. Louis, Pamela claims that she and her band flew to the moon in her own rocket ship to record this concept album about her trip to "Moontown." Sounding like an off-key Ethel Merman, she clucks like a chicken when she forgets the words. Wanna hear it? Check it out at Lala |
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1. MUHAMMAD ALI: The Adventures of Ali and His Gang vs. Tooth Decay Recorded in 1976. Ali assembled an all-star bicentennial cast, including Frank Sinatra, Richie Havens, and Howard Cosell, for this "Fight of the Century" against Mr. Tooth Decay and his evil sidekick, Sugar Cuba. Old Blue Eyes sounds like he's working on his fifth martini as a shopkeeper who offers Ali's gang of hyperactive kids free ice cream. The Champ sends Frankie packing back to Vegas to "tell Sammy, and all them cats like old Dino" about the horrors of periodontal disease. Wanna hear it? Check it out at Frank's Vinyl Museum |
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The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Supremely Satisfying Bathroom Reader. Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!
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Kids Albums from the Seventies
Remember the days before Nick Jr, Cartoon Network, video games, and iPods? What did kids do for fun? They listened to records!
Here’s a bunch of interesting photos of kids music record covers. Some of them have really neat cover art. If you’re of the right age, they may bring back some memories… If not, just revel in the love of the 70s retro!
From Nancy Dorsner’s blog Dabbled:
Not long ago, my parents were cleaning out their attic, and sent me a bunch of old records (remember those things?) from when I and my brother were kids. I thought they were too cool not to share – some for the memories, some for the interesting album artwork.
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Music Album Collage Art
Someone came up with the brilliant idea of combining different music album covers. The result is a series of fun pieces of collage art.
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