The Gummi Bear Chronicles

You think you like Gummi Bears? Christof Neimann is a connoisseur of Gummi Bears, and doesn't mind to admit it.

My children think they can hide their candy consumption from me. But they fail to recognize my tactical advantage: They mistake me for an ignorant grown-up, when I’m actually an eternal preteen. My relationship to sweets has hardly changed since I was their age. Yes, I might eat candy less often now. But once I start, a precise choreography ensues.

Then he tells us each step of this “precise choreography,” with illustrations. But don’t we all have these little routines when we eat our favorite treats? When eating Smarties, I separate out the white and green candies, saving them for last because they are the best. I bite off the very top of a cherry cordial to keep the liquid from running out (a technique the kids tried and failed to emulate; therefore cherry cordials are for adults only). And everyone has their particular “correct way” to eat an Oreo cookie. Read Neimann’s column on Gummi Bears at the New York Times, and think about how you tackle your favorite candy. I’d love to hear it!