Catching a kid right before they crack their head open, snatching the child away from an oncoming danger, and pulling off various sports related saves- these are but some of the powers that dads have at their disposal.
And this action packed (albeit strangely formatted) video by Zoo Weekly proves dads are some of the most powerful beings on the planet!
Hey, sweetie, want some chocolate? These kids are expecting the sweet milk chocolate they’ve always had, but this is dark chocolate. The kind grownups eat, without so much milk and sugar. In slow motion, you can see the shock, disappointment, and near panic in their eyes.
Once they get a bite, we adults don’t have to hide our chocolate stash from the youngsters any more. This is an ad from Splendid Chocolates of Quebec. It’s hard to see how this will sell more chocolate, but it’s awfully cute. -via Buzzfeed
When a kid knows what she wants, she can get pretty stubborn. When a kid doesn’t know what she want, she’ll take forever to make up her mind. This kid, in the latest from Fowl Language Comics, knows exactly what she wants.
Facebook member Itsjudytime has twin girls. They like to talk and play with each other in their cribs, and Mom keeps an eye on them through a baby monitor. Babies don’t understand remote monitoring yet. Watch what happens when Mom talks to them through the monitor!
Groot, a tree-like creature in the Marvel superhero movie Guardians of the Galaxy, says only one thing: "I am Groot."
When 4-year old Sawyer Dunlap saw the movie a year ago, he connected with Groot in a special way. Sawyer has the dyspraxia, which inhibits his ability to speak. Groot has helped him overcome this obstacle. Sawyer's father, Josh Dunlap, recently wrote on Facebook:
When Guardians came out Sawyer could only say about three words and would communicate to his mother and I by other means. When he saw Groot, something clicked inside him and he connected with him on a level I haven't seen. He began to mimic him and he would use the word "Bah" for a lot, but after he saw the film, he would change the tone in which he said it to convey a different meaning. He would also start saying Groot for many things as well. Since that, he was finally able to go to a speech class and it has helped amazingly. I just wanted to thank you though, for a script and movie that was written so well that a four year old, three at that time, could connect with someone who had the same language barrier.
Behold a natural cat person! This little baby goes berserk with joy when she sees a cat. She doesn't know quite what it is, but she connects with the cat in a unique way. She has found her great purpose in life: to be a cat owner.
My family recently celebrated the final “first day of school” ever, as the youngest two of our seven began their senior year in high school. Yay. I also have a granddaughter starting preschool. Let’s have some sympathy for the little children attending school for the first time.
A reporter is interviewing a 4-year-old on his first day of pre-kindergarten (also known as preschool). She must not have children yet, because any mother knows that you don’t ask THAT question. It’s like turning on a faucet. -via Uproxx
The ring bearer enters the wedding procession with the flower girl. Her job is more fun than his, so he joins in scattering flower petals, with the aim of emptying the basket as quickly and efficiently as possible. He considers it a competition.
It's a cat-astrophe! Ryder of Cedar Falls, Iowa has, as he calls it, "situations." All of the kittens must remain on the blanket so that they don't get lost. But whenever he gets one back to base, another escapes! It's like herding cats.
It’s time to get the kids ready for school. They’ll need essential supplies. The school administrators, having years of experience with this, know exactly what. So they’ve sent a shopping list. If you lose it, then just go shopping and grab whatever is marked “Back to School,” because retailers know pretty well, too. 22 Words has 20 funny photos of back to school sales that were hopefully mislabeled.
Courtney Holmes, a barber in Dubuque, Iowa, wants to encourage kids to read. So if a child sits in his chair and reads a book to him, Holmes will cut the kid's hair--for free! He's offering this opportunity as part of a local back-to-school program. The Globe Gazette reports:
Tayshawn Kirby, 9, of Dubuque, read from "Fats, Oils and Sweets," by Carol Parenzan Smalley, informing Holmes that the average person eats 150 pounds of sugar each year. Before Tayshawn's 10-year-old brother, Titan Feeney, took his turn in the barber chair, he told his brother the new look was great.
"I just want to support kids reading," Holmes said.
Caitlin Daniels, grade-level reading coordinator with the Community Foundation of Greater Dubuque, also helped struggling readers in the barber chair.
"It's great. All the kids, they want to have a good haircut to go back to school," she said. "They're paying through reading."
A tiny child is trying to get his white belt in Taekwondo at the Peak Taekwondo & Fitness Center in Temecula, California. He must break a board to do so. The boy is supposed to follow a particular method, but he has a "by any means necessary" approach to the task. Even jumping up and down on the board is acceptable to him--but it won't work!
Sam and Nia are obviously from the internet generation, where everything is recorded and everything is shared. He doesn't have to hide the camera, because she's used to it. The following video contains some intimate details of their bathroom habits, but if you can overlook that, you’ll enjoy the story.
6-year old Charlotte Campbell of Taupo, New Zealand got her first cochlear implant 2 years ago. Now she has two. Her father, Alistair, wanted her to feel less self-conscious about them. So he shaved his head and got a tattoo of a cochlear implant right where it would be if he had one, too. He told the New Zealand Herald that Charlotte loves it:
Mr Campbell had shaved his head completely to get the tattoo done but said he would be letting his hair grow back.
He'd shave it off again and show off the tattoo at "special occasions," or if Charlotte wanted to see it.
When Charlotte saw her dad's version of a cochlear implant she giggled, touched it and told him it was "cool".
The blogger behind Ideas from Everywhere wanted to offer his 5-year old daughter something special on her birthday. He writes “Stop buying your kids crap toys. Believe me, memories last longer than any toy.” And he’s definitely provided her with a memory she’ll cherish for the rest of her life.
While she napped on garden pillows, he built from individual straws an enormous crazy straw fully 50 meters long. When she woke up, the tip was hanging over her. You can see more photos here.
My mom tells me that when I was 4 years old, I walked up to a stranger who was smoking and said, “You know that you’re going to die, right?”
The Twitter hashtag #geethankskid is filled with things parents have heard from their kids. Sometimes they’re insensitive. And sometimes they’re just insufficiently self-censored. Often, they’re funny—especially when kids make comments about our bodies. How to Be a Dad illustrated 20 of them. Just in case you’ve forgotten that you’re turning older, fatter, and grayer, your kids remind you of your changing physical attributes.
Kids are naturally curious about what their parents do for a living, and when we try to explain it to them our explanations generally fall into one of two categories- lengthy and informative or hasty and placating.
But when you have to explain a job that’s a bit more abstract, like artist or psychologist, you’re going to have your work cut out for you.
Luckily, a guy named Dean Vispond came up with a great way to properly explain a graphic designer's job to youngsters...after he had to boil it all down to a room full of four-year-olds:
I thought it’d be a good idea to explain what design in all its forms is. I’ve long held the notion that all forms of design are effectively about communication, be that user experience design, industrial design, fashion design, but that’s a pretty lofty thing to explain to kids. I ended up with:
Design is about making something easy to use, or easy to understand....
I talked about how signs tell us important things, and the words need to be easy to read. I showed them a simple sign, and asked them what I could do to the letters, to make the sign better. “Make them bigger” came the answer, so I showed them a second sign, which we all agreed is better because it makes the word more important, and you can see it from further away.
No matter how thoroughly parents think they explain the world to their children, they can’t cover everything, because it’s difficult to remember what a context-free life is like. But that’s what children have. Everything is a new experience, and it’s easy to get the wrong idea. A roundup of these childhood misconceptions had me giggling.
8. “I thought the cops would come get me.”
“When I was younger I saw an accident on the side of the road and my mom said, ‘If you have an accident, the cops come.’ I thought she meant that if I peed my pants in the car the cops would come get me.”
—Kate Heidenreich, Facebook
14. “I am too young! I am too young!”
“When I was in the first grade a lot of my school’s teachers were pregnant. One day I ran home to tell my mom that my teacher announced that she was expecting a baby, too, and my mom said, ‘I guess she drank the Kool-Aid.’ The next day we were served Kool-Aid for a kid’s birthday and I freaked out, screaming, ‘I am too young, I am too young!’”
There are dozens more in the comments.
My mom used to tell me that hairspray was used to "keep your hair from flying away". I thought that without hairspray your hair would going flying off your head like a bird and you'd be bald.
Well, we all have these. I refused to eat cotton candy because I thought it was made of the same material that was stuffed into the top of aspirin bottles. My daughter just recently told me that she’d watch me put dryer lint in a “magic pink box” when she was very young. It was a small wastebasket on a shelf. She thought it was magic, because when it got full, it would “magically” disappear. It was years before she figured out I just emptied it. Read the roundup of childhood misconceptions at Buzzfeed. And if you remember a funny one, share it with us!
Kids latch onto the strangest things, but sometimes you just gotta go with it. Grayson always turned his attention when an ad for New Orleans personal injury lawyer Morris Bart came on. It was his favorite thing on TV! His mother L’erin Dobra noticed his fascination.
“Before he could walk or talk, every time the Morris Bart commercial would come on, he was just fixated,” she says. “You couldn’t talk to him. You couldn’t do anything with him. He would just sit and stare at the TV. You could call his name, give him a toy. He didn’t care. He just wanted to watch the Bart commercial. He’s been that way ever since, and when he started talking he would say, ‘One call’ or ‘Bart, Bart, Bart, Morris Bart, Morris Bart.’
So when Grayson’s second birthday was coming up, his Dobra contemplated a party theme, and decided to focus on the lawyer. She contacted Bart’s office through his website, and they sent a cardboard cutout, a signed photograph, and some office swag. Dobra had Bart’s face put on the birthday cake. And it was all a super big hit with Grayson. See more pictures at Buzzfeed.
Not too long ago in the US, it was normal for fathers to wait outside the delivery room for the birth of their children. The mother, along with a doctor and nurses, would handle the delivery alone. Later, the father was allowed to be present.
The Daily Telegraph reports that increasingly, more people are present in the delivery room: family, friends, and anyone accessible through WiFi. When it comes to childbirth, there’s no such thing as “too much information”:
For women in their teens and twenties, an average of eight people are now present at some point during the birth, according to a survey by video blogging site Channel Mum.
And the results also showed that childbirth is becoming increasingly public, with almost a quarter of mums sharing the experience through social media.
Siobhan Freegard, founder of Channel Mum said: "The younger generation share are used to sharing every aspect of their lives, so why not birth? Many women feel it is their biggest achievement and so want to share the moment with all of those closest to them.
We did not crowd-birth for our kids. But our first child was born in a teaching hospital. There was a seemingly non-stop parade of medical students and interns interested in seeing more than we wanted them to see. I eventually shooed them out.
The crew of the show Jimmy Kimmel Live went out to pollute little kids' minds by asking them to explain adultery. It turns out that they have no clue, but are smart enough to extrapolate that it means something about an adult, like the opposite of childhood. That makes plenty of sense linguistically. So the interviewer switched to asking them to explain cheating. Kids know what cheating is, because they are warned against doing it in school. By the time they’re through, it’s apparent that no young minds were polluted after all. However, some parents may be confronted by confounding questions later. -via Viral Viral Videos
The officer/father found the girl run off the road, unable to extract her Cozy Coupe from the snowbank. She was disoriented and non-responsive. And once you see the sippy cup in her right hand, you understand why. She's awfully young to have this charge on her record, but she deserves it.
Feast your eyes on this great Mario Kart 8 nursery that dad, Nintendo fanatic and Redditor troymcklure built for his baby boy, Grant. The Mario driving on the ceiling was created with a handmade silicone mold and lit with remote-controlled LED lighting. Mario's ride is chasing 3D-printed gold coins that hang from the ceiling, mobile-style. The nursery cost approximately $1,500 to build and took about a year and a half to complete.
See this clever DIY dad's previous project, a Yoshi's island nursery, in the video below. Watch him explain his DIY projects on YouTube channel geeksmithing. Via Daily Dot
Tara Carson was traveling through Maine with her husband and daughter and ate at Marcy’s Diner in Portland. Carson’s daughter, who is not quite two years old, had a meltdown. Darla Neugebauer, the owner of the diner, reacted to the noise. It’s not really clear what was said and done before Neugebauer lost her temper and screamed at the child. Carson complained on Marcy’s Diner’s Facebook page. Carson’s original post was deleted, but since it went viral, you can see a screenshot of it and Neugebauer’s response (in colorful language) here. Neugebauer left another response the next day, which has also been deleted, but you can see it at Buzzfeed.
Despite getting backlash on social media from people who claim they will never eat at the restaurant again, Neugebauer is standing by her actions. "Life's full of choices and you've got to live with all of them. I chose to yell at a kid, it made her shut-up, which made me happy, it made my staff happy, it made the 75 other people dining here happy, and they left, they may never come back, other people may not come in. Their loss really," she said.
The last few posts at the Marcy’s Diner’s Facebook page have thousands of comments and reviews, leaning heavily toward support of the diner owner’s actions. And no matter who is at fault for the brouhaha blowing up all out of proportion, commenters make it clear that they can’t stand misbehaving kids in restaurants. Neugebauer is not backing off, and has enjoyed a packed house since the Facebook posts went viral.
Took my daughter on an African safari but I won’t let her play on her iPad so I’m an asshole. #assholeparent via @kristenhowerton
Parents get blamed for every problem a kid has. Even when the problem is completely beyond our control. Even when the problem is completely caused by the child. Even when the problem is no problem at all. Parents have a place to vent, on a Tumblr blog called Asshole Parents, which was shared on my private parents group. Our kids are mostly teenagers, but believe me, we came up with a long list of reasons they consider us such. If you’ve ever expected your child to drink his favorite beverage from the wrong cup, you may be an asshole parent, too. There are 181 submissions so far, so first take the short tour by seeing some of my favorites.
Zavi Ahmed, 5, of Uckfield, Sussex, UK went shopping with his mother. He wanted to be a superhero that day, so he dressed as Batman. His 2-year old brother dressed as Superman. This turned out to be a very appropriate decision.
While in the parking lot of a Tesco, Zavi and his mother learned that a woman had accidentally locked her infant granddaughter inside a car. It was a hot day, so the baby was in great danger. When police arrived, they smashed the rear window. Zavi then crawled inside the car and unlocked the door. The Daily Mail quotes the grandmother:
‘We called the police and they tried everything and eventually smashed the back window. They couldn’t reach the door because it’s quite small. We needed to get the keys from the dashboard.
‘Then these two little boys turned up - one was dressed as Batman and the other as Superman. They had the whole outfits and were so sweet.
‘A policeman put his jumper down on the window to protect from the glass and Batman crawled in to fetch the keys. I was so proud. He was a true superhero and I’m so grateful to him.
‘If it was a hotter day we would’ve smashed the window much sooner. Iris is so happy to be saved by Batman - if she gets married that will definitely be told at her wedding.’