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45 Simple Safety Rules For Living Life & Not Dying

Amy found a notebook in which her then-8-year-old-son had written out safety rules. And they are pretty good rules, if a little unclear at times. There are illustrations, too. Some of my favorites:

#5: Never go near a snake where it will hipmotis you.
#8: Never get sqasht by a giant.
#15: Never go to Harry Potter World ware you'll get shot by Voldamort's wand.
#21: Never get chomp't up by a dinosar.
#30: Keep your dey's on my hot glord.
#39: Look and see wats behind you if someone if going to kick you.
#43: Never go in the purple potty.

I will have to keep that one about the purple potty in mind. The others are just as funny. Altogether it sounds like a complete roundup of the type of things an 8-year-old boy thinks about. The illustration goes with #21, and #30 has sparked all manner of speculation. Read the rest at Amalah. -via Metafilter



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Action Movie Kid - A Video Series That Brings Imagination To Life

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Dreamworks artist Daniel Hashimoto doesn’t take his work home with him, because he’d rather spend time playing with his son James and using a little movie magic to turn James into the world’s youngest action movie star.

Now James may not do all of his own stunts, and he may have the power of visual effects programs like After Effects helping him look more heroic, but their video series called Action Movie Kid is about the power of imagination, and bringing James’ superhero dreams to life.

From daring grappling gun stunts to sweet lightsaber swingin' moves, James is ready for a leading role in upcoming movies like Die Hard: With A Kid or The Bourne Adoption.

-Via GeekTyrant



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Jimmy Kimmel Asks Kids If They Know Any Naughty Words

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We recently posted a video featuring a guy asking his three year old nephew to recite all the bad words he knows, many of which were unsurprisingly butt related.

But Jimmy Kimmel wasn’t satisfied with the results- he felt that this particular kid's list of curse words didn't fairly represent the bad words known by all kids, so he decided to head out to Hollywood Boulevard to see what kind of filth was running through the mind of L.A.’s children.

Kimmel's scientific research into the subject yielded some rather surprising results, including the fact that most kids think dumb is a bad word, and when these kids let loose it's enough to make a sailor blush!

-Via Cheezburger



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31 April Fools Day Pranks to Play on Your Kids

One of the great things about having children is that they laugh at your stale old jokes because they haven’t heard them a million times like your friends have. To them, you are a treasure trove of knowledge because you know a little more than they do. And depending on their ages, they will fall hard for April Fools Day pranks. Buzzfeed put together a list of simple tricks aimed at kids, which are mostly harmless. Your mileage may vary, so keep your child’s level of sensitivity in mind. Making candied apples with onions inside might not be appropriate for young kids, but putting googly eyes on everything in the refrigerator might be just the ticklet.

(Image source: Imgur)



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Monster Under the Bed

This is an wonderful way to turn a negative into a positive! Parents get the idea sooner or later that making light of a situation does more long-term good than sympathy. Turning monsters into a cause for celebration goes way back, though. Jim Henson did it for years. Comic by Lunarbaboon



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Emma and Cinnamon

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Emma is leading her horse, Cinnamon. Emma was two years old when this video was recorded, but she’s already on her way to being a real horsewoman. Cinnamon is a very gentle and cooperative horse, who went on to live and work at the Nighthawk Ranch, a getaway for children with cancer, in Guffey, Colorado. Video by Emma’s father, Justin Dunn. You can see more videos of Emma taking care of horses at Daily Picks and Flicks



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This Brilliant Invention Helps Disabled Kids Walk and Play

(Photo: Firefly Friends)

Debby Elnatan's young son, Rotem, has cerebral palsy. He has very limited mobility. She wanted to find a way to help him experience upright movement, so she invented the Upsee. It's a harness that straps a child to the legs and waist of an adult. Both the child and the adult wear sandals that are joined together and slip over their shoes. With the adult's assistance, the child can step, walk, dance and even kick. Both can keep their hands free while doing so.

Elnatan took the Upsee to Leckey, a child accessory manufacturer in Lisburn, Northern Ireland. On Monday, the company released Upsee for global distribution. You can find a promotional video below.


(Video Link)

-via 22 Words



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Artist Turns Corrective Helmets for Babies into Works of Art

Plagiocephaly is a neonatal disorder popularly known as “baby flat-head.” During gestation, a baby’s skull encounters resistance and grows a flattened surface. One common treatment is to wear a custom helmet that corrects the growth as the child ages.

Perhaps they’re not pretty appliances, but Paula Strawn is here to fix that problem. Over the past 10 years, she’s painted 1,200 helmets with playful and fancy designs, from the works of Van Gogh to super heroes. You can view more here.

-via Pleated Jeans




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25 Things You Should Know About Life With A Toddler

From the time they take their first steps to the time you send them off on the preschool bus, your life with a toddler is a trip through the looking glass. And just like Alice, you will be confused and confounded by something new every day. If you’ve never been totally in charge of a 2-year-old demon spawn from the pits of hell, you might find this amusing, if a bit incredible. If you’ve actually raised a child through the toddler phase, you will laugh uncontrollably at how spot-on this list really is.

2. THEIR RULES ARE LABYRINTHINE AND INEXPLICABLE

Watching a toddler is like watching an alien creature build some kind of extraterrestrial machine. It’s like watching ritually-peculiar Druid magic, or the interpretive dance of a sentient spam-bot. Our boy-human will put on an Indiana Jones hat and start calling himself “Nemo.” He’ll hand you things and then demand you hold them and if you try to give them back you’ve broken some ancient changeling contract. He’ll require a very particular truck and if you hand him one that is 95% the same truck, he’ll actually hate you — like, maybe literally hate you — for at least two minutes. (Then he’ll forget.) He’ll place things around the room or perform a sequence of events that, for all you know, is meant to unlock some kind of apocalypse. It’s methodical and maddening, like a bird building a nest out of watch parts. Other times? He’s not like that at all.

3. THE WOLVERINE TORNADO

Take a bunch of wolverines. Throw them into a roaring F5 tornado. That’s a toddler. It’ll tear through your home, shrieking and whirling about, scooping things up and depositing them elsewhere. It’ll lose things. It’ll destroy other things. It’ll change direction in the hair’s breadth of a moment — “I’m doing this no now I’m doing this other thing wait what’s that over there.”

Chuck Wendig’s observations as a father include a part about toddlers being “proto-teenagers.” As the parent of several teenagers, I look forward to his analogies when his child reaches that stage of life. And I will laugh then, too. -via Metafilter

(Image credit: Flickr user Janet McKnight)



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Dad Asks Three-Year-Old To List All The Bad Words He Knows

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Toddlers are delightfully innocent, and any rude words that come rolling out of their mouth sound pretty darn funny, especially when they’re trying to prove how grown up they are.

Redditor PirbyKuckett asked his three-year-old son to list all the bad words he knows, and the kid’s reply is just what you’d expect from a grown up toddler.

You guessed it- butts, lots of butts, and one actual curse word at the end which makes this video awesomely NSFW, but that's what you get when you tell a kid "Tell me all the bad words you know...GO!"

-Via 22 Words



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A Father Daughter Debate

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A Russian father and his baby daughter are having a seriously heated discussion. The little girl most likely only understands a few of the words, and she can’t reproduce them coherently, because she’s a baby. She can, however, reproduce the cadence, emphasis, and body language to an amazing degree, which is adorable. If I understood what she was arguing about, she’d have me convinced. According to the comments at reddit, he is chastising her for throwing her pancakes on the floor. That means that her side of the argument is a vigorous defense. -via Daily Picks and Flicks



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Go Baby, Go!

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Drs. Cole Galloway, Michele Lobo, and Sam Logan of the the Pediatric Mobility Lab and Design Studio at the University of Delaware started a project called GoBabyGo. It melds motorized wheelchair technology with riding toys designed for very young children. The aim is to provide disabled children with the mobility of their peers so they can explore the world, socialize, and know the feeling of control. Each vehicle is custom-designed for the size and needs of each child, and the team is sharing the technology with anyone who wants to learn to modify toy vehicles. -via Viral Viral Videos



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This 4-Year-Old's Best Friend Is A Bulldog

4-year-old Harper doesn't know that she's an only child, because in her mind she's got a sister named Lola- who just happens to be a bulldog.

The two are inseparable-playing dress up together, having tea parties and even hanging out on the bed reading a book, hanging out like sisters and friends rather than pet and owner.

Their amazing, and ridiculously adorable, relationship is documented by their mother, photographer Rebecca Leimbach, who has been sharing photos of the cutest siblings ever via her Facebook page.

Rebecca says it all started as an accident:

Harper came out of her playroom one day and said 'Ta-da!' I turned around and Lola was wearing a tutu, necklaces and a crown, and she didn't seem to mind. I died laughing and grabbed my camera to take a picture... the rest is history.

-Via Yahoo



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Repeat After Me

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There are some things that are just too much to ask of a child. Daddy, I love you, just don’t ask me to promise that! Anything but that! You know how daddies are protective of their little girls, because daddies were once boyfriends, and they remember it well.  -via reddit



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From Bump to Buzz

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Tom Fletcher of the band McFly writes a song for every personal milestone in his life, the most popular being his wedding speech song medley, but the pregnancy announcement was cute, too. When their first child came along, the video took nine months to produce. The song probably did not take that long to compose. He and his wife, author Giovanna Fletcher, welcomed their son, Buzz Michelangelo Fletcher, on the 13th, and posted the video yesterday. -via Buzzfeed



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Toddler's First Traffic Ticket


Photo: First Coast News

Ah, the developmental milestones of a child's life. Smiling that first smile. Uttering the first word. Taking the first step. Now, add this one: getting that first traffic ticket.

Two-year-old Za'Dariyah Mishaw was cruising along the parking lot of her Florida condo complex, fulfilling her need for speed, when she saw that dreaded flashing blue lights coming up behind her.

According to First Coast News, patrol officer Christian Velasco, who gave the lil' speed demon a ticket, said that "she was going pretty fast. It took me a while to catch up to her, but we did, and she was cited."

Za'Dariyah's uncle Keyth Mishaw said, "Everyone always had bad things to say about the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, well, I want to say BIG PROPS to these officers for making a memorable moment for my family." It was Za'Dariyah's first time in her new car, and now she kept telling her mom that she wanted to pay her $4 ticket.

The photo of the coppers giving the young kid her first taste of the law has gone viral on Facebook, racking nearly 40,000 shares.



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One More Book

When you’re reading stories to kids at bedtime, you may as well start early in the morning, because it’s their most favorite activity of the day. And why not? They get a great story (or two or three) without having to read it themselves, mom or dad is willing to do whatever it takes, and they focus completely on the child. He doesn’t want a good time like that to ever end. Is there any wonder it takes so long to get children to fall asleep?

What we need is an activity that makes children wind down and get sleepy, but isn’t so pleasant as to make them want to prolong it. When a child gets to a certain age, a parent discovers that magical activity: homework. This comic is from the ever-relatable Lunarbaboon.



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Goodnight Clock

Goodnight Moon, written by Margaret Wise Brown and illustrated by Clement Hurd, has been a bedtime staple for over 50 years. What the authors did not expect when the book was published in 1947 was that the internet would allow geeks all over the world to deconstruct the beloved childhood story. Burrito Justice studied the pictures in the book and calculated that the little bunny’s bedtime ritual takes an hour and ten minutes, starting at 7:00 and ending at 8:10. For small children, it often takes that long.

But reaction to the post brought up the progression of the moon across the sky -how did that sync up with the clock? After another analysis of the illustrations, it was determined that the moon’s astronomical progression does not match up with the clock! There are also observations about cross promotion of Brown’s books in Goodnight Moon and her other publications, in the post at Burrito Justice. -via Metafilter

An earlier calculation of the chronological length of the book used only the moon's progression and not the clock on the mantle. A bedtime ritual of six minutes was inferred, which is wildly optimistic, as any parent will tell you.



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Steve McCurry's Photographic Vision Of Ethiopia

Photographer Steve McCurry has an epic vision which he has been happily sharing with the world for over 30 years, and his knack for revealing the heart and soul of his subjects makes him the perfect person to call when you need help promoting a humanistic cause.

This photo journey took Steve to Ethiopia, more specifically to the remote Omo Valley region, where he was invited to capture the plight of the Omo children and help spread the word about a great cause.

The Omo Child charity takes care of children who are considered mingi (cursed) by their tribe and either sent to die in the desert or ritualistically murdered.

These unwanted mingi children are given a home and an education thanks to the efforts of Lale Lubuko and photographer John Rowe, founders of Omo Child, and with Steve McCurry’s intimate and illustrative photo series showing the world who their donations are benefitting the Omo children will hopefully receive the funding help they so desperately need.

-Via The Fox Is Black



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Photos: Preschooler Does Yoga with Her Mom

Laura Kasperzak, 36, has been practicing yoga for 17 years. As you can see, she's very agile. Her young daughter is, too!

Kasperzak calls her daughter a "ham" who enjoys mugging for the camera. She joins her mother in 5-10 minute power yoga sessions. The pair often wear matching outfits and post their photos on an Instagram acccount.

Kasperzak and her friend Masumi Goldman operate Two Fit Moms, a website that teaches readers about natural fitness and nutrition. They founded it to promote the idea that people can "turn back the hands of time and be strong, fit and healthy at any age."

-via Visual News



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26 Outrageous Truths About Children's Television

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In the latest mental_floss video, John Green gives us the lowdown on children’s TV. I well recall the panic over the seizure-inducing Pokemon show. I couldn’t stand Barney the dinosaur, but I did not know how far some other haters would go to demonize the dino. And then there are many shows included here that I am not at all familiar with, but you may be. Learn something new about the shows you grew up with!



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My Kid and Me

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Oh great, a 20-minute home movie about a family vacation. But once I started watching this, I couldn’t stop. Filmmaker Casey Neistat, looking for a little bonding time with his 13-year-old son Owen, decided to go to Peru and see Machu Picchu. Now, the guy who snowboarded through the streets of New York isn’t going to do it the normal tourist way. In addition to taking planes, trains, and automobiles (plus horses and a zip line), they hiked through the Andes for almost a week to get there. Along the way, Neistat learns about the man his son is starting to become. This film is both exciting and touching.  

Previously at Neatorama: More from Casey Neistat.



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Epic Spelling Bee Ends Two Weeks Later

Saturday, the Jackson County, Missouri, Spelling Bee finally came to an end -after two weeks and more than 90 rounds of elimination. Or actually, attempts at elimination. The final two contenders, fifth-grader Sophia Hoffman and seventh-grader Kush Sharma, went 66 rounds and spelled their way through the entire list of available words during the initial spelling bee in February. Officials called a delay while they gathered more words. Two weeks later, the two students went another 30 rounds to decide a winner.

"It took us an hour to find more words," head judge Kaite Stover, a librarian at the Kansas City Public Library Central Branch, told Carter of the competition's first day, on Feb. 22. "And we were looking for words that were not completely archaic and uncommon."

But Hoffman, 11, and Sharma, 13, answered the challenge each time, relying on their knowledge of word origins and prefixes to see them through. After more than five hours, organizers threw up their hands to set up today's event.

The judges brought a fresh batch of 200 words to bear Saturday, from a list provided by the Scripps National Spelling Bee. They also had around 60 backup words just in case they're needed, the library says.

In the end, Hoffman was eliminated by the word "stifling," and Sharma correctly spelled "definition" and will advance to the national bee. But officials should start preparing now because both students will still be eligible to compete next year. -via Digg

(Image credit: Jackson County Spelling Bee)



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10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Let Your Child Play with Smartphone or iPad

Before you hand your smartphone or iPad to your kid to keep 'em quiet, know this: pediatric occupational therapist Chris Rowan has outlined 10 reasons why you shouldn't.

Children aged 3 to 5 who are exposed to technology more than four hours a day - including use of handheld devices like cell phones, tablets, and electronic games - could develop serious behavioral problems and even child developmental delays.

So, Rowan is calling parents, teachers, and even the government to ban the use of all handheld devices for children under the age of 12 years. In this post over at Huffington Post, Rowan explained 10 reasons why, summarized below:

  1. Exposure to technology is bad for rapid brain growth of children from 0 to 2 years of age
  2. Technology use restricts movement, and thus results in delayed physical development
  3. TV and video game use correlates with increased obesity
  4. 75% of kids who use technology in the bedroom have sleep deprivation
  5. Technology overuse is a factor in child depression, anxiety, and other mental illness
  6. Violent media can cause child aggression
  7. "Digital dementia": too much digital media cause decreased concentration and memory
  8. 10% of children aged 8 to 18 are addicted to technology
  9. Potential radiation emission from digital devices
  10. The way children are raised and educated with technology is unsustainable

Rowan shares a guideline on the appropriate use of technology for kids of varying ages:



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Check out Twaggies' first animated clip:

Grammar Nazi's Rock? Twaggies by twaggies

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