Story time! Thor, along with Þjálfi and Loki, went on a journey to the land of giants. The king of the giants gave them challenges, several of them for Thor, which they failed. Thor isn't used to defeat. What can he do?
Sitcoms are formulaic by design, and even though the cast, types of characters and settings change the situations that lead to the funny bits stay the same.
Situations like main character falls in love with other main character, main characters have a housing crisis on their hands or main character feuds with neighbor are all commonly found in sitcoms- and so are crazy situations like kids crashing cars into houses.
This sort of thing hardly ever happens in real life, but for some reason virtually every sitcom ever made has an episode where a character (usually an unlicensed kid) crashes a car into a house.
This situation wouldn't be funny in real life, but do you know who are funny in real life yet rarely seen outside of a zoo but can be found in a ton of sitcoms too?
Chimpanzees, that's who, and it's no wonder writers include chimps in so many sitcoms even though nobody ever gets to hang out with them in real life- because the on-screen moments are priceless.
Personal security professionals, or bodyguards, may seem to live a glamorous life as they walk around with movie stars, world leaders, and rich people. But they are doing a job, one that requires training and a particular set of skills. Mental Floss talked to several bodyguards about what they do.
2. GUNS (AND FISTS) ARE PRETTY MUCH USELESS.
Depending on the environment—protecting a musician at a concert is different from transporting the reviled CEO of a pharmaceutical company—bodyguards may or may not come armed. According to Kent Moyer, president and CEO of World Protection Group and a former bodyguard for Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, resorting to gunplay means the security expert has pretty much already failed. “People don’t understand this is not a business where we fight or draw guns,” Moyer says. “We’re trained to cover and evacuate and get out of harm’s way. The goal is no use of force.” If a guard needs to draw a gun to respond to a gun, Moyer says he’s already behind. “If I fight, I failed. If I draw a gun, I failed.”
3. SOMETIMES THEY’RE HIRED TO PROTECT EMPLOYERS FROM EMPLOYEES.
Workplace violence has raised red flags for companies who fear retribution during layoffs. Alan Schissel, a former New York City police sergeant and founder of Integrated Security, says he dispatches guards for what he calls “hostile work termination” appointments. “We get a lot of requests to provide armed security in a discreet manner while somebody is being fired,” he says. “They want to be sure the individual doesn’t come back and retaliate.”
Han Solo and the Beastie Boys don't have anything in common other than their connection to 80s pop culture, but when you bring these two forces of freshness together they make a pretty good pair, err I mean quartet. Quintet? Yeah, that one.
Anyhoo, the Solo: A Star Wars Story trailer felt a bit lacking on its own, but when Chris Galegar of War Starts At Midnight recut the trailer to the Beastie Boys song Sabotage the fans were like "I love you" and Chris was like "I know".
Gin is becoming popular in Britain -again. It first happened in the 17th century, when the juniper-flavored liquor made its way to England from the Netherlands. The populace loved it so much that unscrupulous manufacturers turned to spiking it with dangerous additives to keep the price down, which eventually led to the Gin Act of 1751, restricting the manufacture and sale of gin to licensed businesses. That hampered, but didn't stop, the illegal trade in gin.
A conman/adventurer named Dudley Bradstreet took advantage of the 1751 crackdown to start his own bootlegging business, with help from a giant cat-shaped vending machine:
“I then caused a leaden pipe, the small end out about an inch, to be placed under the paw of the cat, the end that was within had a funnel to it … When the liquor was properly disposed, I got a person to inform a few of the mob that gin would be sold by the cat at my window next day, provided they put money in his mouth … at last I heard the chink of money and a comfortable voice say, ‘Puss, give me two pennyworth of gin!’ I instantly put my mouth to the tube and bid them receive it from the pipe under her paw.”
Old Tom Gin Dispenser - During the 18th century London gin craze, you put money in the cat's mouth to get a shot of gin. pic.twitter.com/nMO1AinTGk
Green is a magical and wonderful color- it's the color of rich, living nature, a color that represents all living things on Earth and appeals to them all as well, a color that catches the eye then hugs our eyeballs rather than poking them.
Every year around St. Patrick's Day and the beginning of spring people start thinking green thoughts and looking forward to green life returning to their gray winterbound lives.
But why wait until the official arrival of spring to go green when you can wear a green NeatoShop shirt and keep the love of life going all year long!
Green will always be the official color of St. Patrick's Day
Let Greig Johnson introduce you to the "ancient, elegant instrument" known as the shenanigan. It's a pretty intricate musical instrument, so you'll have to pay close attention. Okay, you won't actually learn how to play it from this video, but you can watch him give it a go and enjoy the music.
This video has subtitles, but don't focus on them. You can probably understand what he's saying ...somewhat. On second thought, you should listen and watch the subtitles at the same time. Trust me. And don't miss the details of the shenanigan. You may have to watch more than once. -via Tastefully Offensive
Some guys act like boobs force them to stare, like they have some sort of hypnotic power over their minds that captures their attention and won't allow them to look away, but the truth is these guys were never taught manners or they're just straight up a-holes. If these rude dudes had been raised right they would know better than to sit and stare at a woman's chest, but they think there'll be no repercussions for their boorish behavior, so they must be shown the error of their ways. And whether women think the right way to do that is by being rude to them, utterly ignoring them or declare outright war against their sexist ways they're all right- because the right way to handle these jerks is leave them loveless and forever alone until they learn to stop being such pigs!
Show the world you're a rebel with better things to do than be ogled by boors by wearing this BOOB TRICK t-shirt by Geekchic Tees, it's a humorous way to diffuse an otherwise uncomfortable situation and declare your independence from objectification.
And to top it all off, kazoodac mixed the previous two videos together to create an artificial band via internet. Cool! Never underestimate those who put their time and talent into their art, for they will find a way to rise to the top of what gets shared on the internet. -via reddit
The Tudor dynasty that ruled England from 1485 to 1603 had plenty of drama, but the peculiar institution of slavery was not one of them. And neither was the population totally white, as depicted in historical dramas. People from Africa and their descendants were a small minority, but during that period, they lived among various social classes in England: servant, tradesman, craftsman, farmer, and even part of the royal staff.
At the College of Arms in London on a 60-foot-long vellum manuscript sits an image of a man atop a horse, with a trumpet in hand and a turban around his head. This is John Blanke, a black African trumpeter who lived under the Tudors. The manuscript was originally used to announce the Westminster Tournament in celebration of the 1511 birth of Henry, Duke of Cornwall, Henry VIII’s son. Blanke was hired for the court by Henry VII. The job came with high wages, room and board, clothing, and was considered the highest possible position a musician could obtain in Tudor England.
Blanke was no anomaly, but was one of hundreds of West and Northern Africans living freely and working in England during the Tudor dynasty. Many came via Portuguese trading vessels that had enslaved Africans onboard, others came with merchants or from captured Spanish vessels. However once in England, Africans worked and lived like other English citizens, were able to testify in court, and climbed the social hierarchy of their time. A few of their stories are now captured in the book, Black Tudors by author and historian Miranda Kaufmann.
Some pets that seem very similar, like parrots, cockatiels and parakeets, have vastly different lifespans- parrots can live 50 years or more, cockatiels live about half as long and parakeets live about 5-8 years.
So why do animals have such different lifespans? On a base level it has to do with environment and body size, with colder environments slowing down metabolic rates and heartbeats and thereby allow animals to live longer.
But if you dig deeper you'll find that an animal's lifespan is also affected by the mechanics of their cell division- animals that have cells that can divide and are replaced when damaged live longer.
This TED talk by Dr. João Pedro de Magalhães breaks down all the reasons why animals have such vastly different lifespans, explaining that similar animals age at different rates due to genetic differences, like how their cells respond to threats. So while parakeets don't live long enough to become teenagers cockatoos live long enough to join AARP!
Kotzebue, Alaska, has around 3,500 residents, most of whom fish and hunt for food in the traditional way. But the small town above the Arctic Circle is listed by the EPA as the most toxic community in America. In 2016, Kotzebue released 756 million pounds of toxic chemicals into the environment. Those chemicals find their way into the air, the sea, the seals and caribou that people eat, and into the water supply. It comes from the Red Dog Mine, one of the world's largest lead and zinc operations. The company that runs the mine complies with state and industry regulations, yet the National Park Service, which monitors the Cape Krusenstern National Monument, report high levels of lead and cadmium in the area that the mine's trucks travel through.
...in the Native village of Kivalina, about 90 miles up the coast from Kotzebue—and located closer to Red Dog—there is growing concern about the mine. The village is located near the mouth of the Wulik River, a source of fish and water for villagers. One of the creeks that flows into the Wulik is the Red Dog, which begins near the Red Dog Mine. Treated mine wastewater is discharged into the Middle Fork of Red Dog Creek under an Alaska Pollutant Discharge Elimination System permit.
“We started hearing and seeing the people getting sick, especially the newborns, with issues we have never seen before,” said Millie Hawley, the tribal transportation coordinator.
She described newborns being born with heart issues, including one infant that had to travel hundreds of miles for heart surgery, and said kidney problems were an issue for teenagers. “We believe it is from drinking the Red Dog Mine over the last 25 years,” she said, “but there is no proof of that.”
The Harlem Globetrotters basketball team collaborated with Georgia Tech to produce a Rube Goldberg contraption that makes basketball trick shots! Georgia Tech's School of Industrial Design built the machine, and their School of Music created the soundtrack.
The first Europeans in Papua New Guinea settled on the coastline, and thought that the mountainous interior was uninhabitable, until the 1930s, when Michael, James, and Daniel Leahy went there to mine gold. They found hundreds of tribes living there, people who had never seen white men, or guns, or metal tools.
In the highlands the Leahys found wide, fertile valleys, groomed with garden plots that were later estimated to feed a million inhabitants sorted into hundreds of tribes and clans. The highlanders lived in huts of timber and kunai grass, used stone tools and fought with wooden spears and arrows. Just as white settlers had been unaware of their existence, the highlanders had no idea that anyone lived beyond the mountains.
At first, they suspected the white men were spirits, or maybe lightning come to earth. More curious than afraid, they traded with the white men, sweet potatoes and pigs and women in exchange for steel axes and shells (plentiful on the coast, but rare and highly prized in the highlands). When the expedition encountered new tribes, Michael “Mick” Leahy, the oldest brother and acknowledged leader, would shoot a pig to demonstrate his superior firepower. If a tribal “big man” tried to rally his warriors into a raiding party, Mick and his gun bois would shoot a few of them, too.
The Leahy brothers settled in and put the natives to work mining gold and building an airstrip to open up the highlands to outsiders. Fifty years later, Bob Connolly and Robin Anderson went to Papua New Guinea to make a historical documentary and used actual film that Mick Leahy had shot back in the 1930s, plus interviews with natives who were there and remembered what happened. That documentary, First Contact, became a classic. Connolly and Anderson went back and made two more documentaries about Mick Leahy's son Joe. Joe bought land from Guniga leaders to start coffee plantations -twice. The tribesmen never considered land something that could be bought or sold, but agreed to the deal because Joe promised that the Guniga people who worked the plantation would become rich. While that never happened, Connolly and Anderson kept filming until tribal warfare ran them off for good. Or until now. Connolly returned to Papua New Guinea to visit his friends, including Joe Leahy, 25 years later, to see what has changed in that time. Read about that trip, and all that led up to it, at Smithsonian magazine.
I've always wondered how two of the most popular characters in the world of video games, Mario and Donkey Kong, found themselves at odds, considering most of the DK games cast him as a hero and Mario is a good guy too. So how did the gorilla and the plumber end up bitter enemies?
It turns out the enmity started in the 1984 Game & Watch title Donkey Kong Circus, in which DK is imprisoned by Mario and forced to perform for his amusement:
This makes sense given the little-known narrative of Donkey Kong (1981) was confirmed by Shigeru Miyamoto himself in a 2016 interview: “Mario kept Donkey Kong locked up, so he escaped with his girlfriend.” Thus, the original Donkey Kong arcade game gets recontextualized. Instead of kidnapping Pauline (or “Lady”) for seemingly no reason, Donkey Kong is seeking vengeance against Mario for his wrongful imprisonment.
So Mario ain't such a good guy after all, which explains why he's one of the bad guys in Donkey Kong Jr., but when it comes to the Kong family the biggest mystery is this- what happened to Donkey Kong Jr.?
While DK Jr. is conspicuously absent from the Country games, early Nintendo Power coverage of Donkey Kong Land—the Game Boy adaptation of the DKC series—suggests he was not entirely forgotten. In a pre-release article from issue 69 (1995) of the magazine, several renders of characters appear who would not be included in the final game. One of these characters is a Kong sporting a fedora. We have no information on who this character is, but we can speculate based on his appearance.
Aside from being the sartorial equivalent of a condescending “m’lady”, the fedora can be used to denote a kind of classic American fatherhood—think Finn and Jake’s dad in Adventure Time. Is it possible, then, that this Kong was meant to be the lost Donkey Kong Jr.? Maybe, or maybe not. But regardless, what happened to Donkey Kong Jr.? If he isn’t the modern tie-wearing Donkey Kong, then where did he go?
You've probably heard about how Robert Johnson met the devil at the crossroads in Mississippi and sold his soul for the ability to play guitar better than anyone before. Johnson let folks believe that if they wanted, and even capitalized on the tale in his songs. Whatever happened to take him from beginner to virtuoso, he was far from the first musician to make that bargain, if the legends are to be believed.
These stories abound because some performers are so good that no one could believe they achieved that level of virtuosity on their own. Talent and hard work were dismissed in favor of a supernatural explanation. Polyphonic brings us a chronological account of the many tales of incredible talent attributed to a Faustian deal. -via Laughing Squid
It's hard for some people to understand the value of an animal's life until they come face to face with that animal, because the animals they encounter in the human world are either pets or pests.
Because of this detachment from nature many humans have a hard time caring about the fact that certain animal species are endangered or going extinct, like the Shoebill (only 5-8,000 in the wild) and the Saiga (critically endangered) above.
And look at how handsome this Iberian Lynx is, can you believe there are only 326 of them left in the wild?
British photographer Tim Flach felt seeing a portrait of these disappearing species might be just the thing to make people care, so he spent two years taking perfectly poignant portraits of the world's endangered species.
Look these Ring-Tailed Lemurs (pop. 2000 as of 2017) in the eyes and tell them you don't care if they live or die or disappear from the planet entirely. Go on, I'll wait...
You know the animator who goes by PES from masterpieces like Fresh Guacamole and Western Spaghetti and other works of art. Now we see what he looks like and how he works. In this video, he picks up some eclectic finds from a flea market in California and makes a taco out of them.
You'd think a guy with the last name Sizlack would have style, or at very least a charming personality, but Moe lacks style and personality and serves up some of the most horrendous drinks. But the man does have plenty of Duff on hand at all times, and because that's one of the only palatable beverages he serves at his Tavern the Duff corporation loves old Moe the schmoe from Springfield-O. So as crappy as his bar is otherwise there is a good chance Duffman or Duffgirl will come in and get the party started, so maybe that's why guys like Barney and Homer hang out at Moe's every single day of their lives? Moe's Tavern- one of the saddest places on Earth!
Show the world where you like to do your binge drinking by wearing this Tavern Logo t-shirt by Buby87, and for the cost of a few drinks you can spread the Sizlack love wherever you go!
Visit Buby87's NeatoShop for more toon-errific designs:
Runaway is a fearful word associated with the loss of a child or pet who runs away from home or losing control of a train as it barrels down the tracks.
The latter is less frightening than the former unless you're aboard the runaway train or it's headed right for you, at which point your heart starts to race and your life flashes before your eyes.
That is, unless you're a dumb cow ambling down the tracks without a care in the world, those beef-brained critters never seem to notice when a train is about to slam into their rump roast until it's too late...
Runaway is a dark animated short directed by Cordell Barker, featuring music by Ben Charest (of Triplets of Belleville fame) and appropriately rendered in a hand drawn style reminiscent of Edward Gorey.
Should Hollywood actors be paid 1. a fair wage for the work involved, 2. a percentage of what the movie makes, if they were hired for their star power, 3. whatever it takes to hire that star power, or 4. as little as the studio can get away with? At one time or another, all these methods have been used to set movie stars' pay for a Hollywood film. How much the actor brings to the project sometimes has little to do with their compensation. For example, Marilyn Monroe made $18,000 for Gentlemen Prefer Blondes in 1953, while Jane Russell made $100,000. Monroe had more star power, but she was under a studio contract. Things are different now, and much more confusing. A recent Hollywood story told how Mark Wahlberg made $1.5 million for the reshoots for All the Money in the World, while Michelle Williams got $1,000 -for a larger role. So how are Hollywood paychecks decided these days?
In Hollywood parlance, an actor’s “quote” means the base amount of zeroes it will take to get above-the-line talent—shorthand for a film’s creatives—to show up on set. (Below-the-line workers, i.e. crew members and those who work on technical aspects like hair, makeup, and special effects, receive a salary based on union rates.) In a communication leaked during the 2014 Sony Pictures e-mail hack, then-Columbia Pictures co-president of production Hannah Minghella mused about what to offer Wahlberg for an un-produced film called Uncharted. “Mark was paid 17M on Transformers but before that his highest quote was 12M (which we paid him on The Other Guys),” the e-mail reads. “We think 12M is the number.” The “M,” naturally, stands for million.
But blockbusters with a $210 million production budget, like Transformers: Age of Extinction, are quote anomalies due to simple box-office math: Transformers brought in more than $1 billion worldwide, while Guys topped out at $170 million. That’s why in this case, Wahlberg was being offered his previous high-water mark of $12 million. Michelle Williams—who favors artier fare and has yet to star in a franchise—likely has a quote well below Wahlberg’s, despite her reputation and four Oscar nominations. Prestige and awards don’t necessarily equal a raise for actors.
It seems Planet Fitness wouldn't let MastrrBasser cancel his membership over the phone even though he'd moved away and wasn't looking for a long distance relationship, so he wrote them a letter to make their breakup official:
The letter starts off like any good breakup letter should:
‘It is with deep regret, and a heavy heart that I write this letter, but I must come forth with my intentions with sincerity and honesty.
‘Certain events in my life have put me in a different place, and while it was one of the more taxing decisions I’ve had to make of late, it is the right one.
‘The purpose of this letter is to end my relationship with Planet Fitness.’
Then it becomes ever more ridiculous as MastrrBasser reveals how Planet Fitness will always be a piece of his heart:
‘I still think fondly of you, and the time we spent together as I drive by one of your many locations. Sometimes, when I’m alone, I even throw one of my old ‘power-pop workout’ playlists and feel the rush of our past course through me as if we were still one; holding hands with your elliptical machine, and gingerly brushing my sweaty bangs out of my face as I huff and puff in a tumultuous vortex of sweat and endorphins.’
It looks like Carroll Spinney is playing both ends in this vintage photograph! But you can hardly blame him for not completely changing between scenes when he had to play two roles. Spinney played both Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street for years. At age 84, he is only semi-retired now. He started puppeteering when he was only eight years old, and after years of professional work, almost missed the chance to become a Muppeteer.
Spinney first met Jim Henson in 1962 at a puppeteering festival, where Henson asked if he would like to "talk about the Muppets". As Spinney failed to realize the question was an employment offer, the conversation never came to pass.
In 1969, Spinney performed at a Puppeteers of America festival in Utah. His show was a mixture of live actors and puppets but was ruined by an errant spotlight that washed out the animated backgrounds. Henson was once again in attendance and noticed Spinney's performance. "I liked what you were trying to do," Henson said, and he asked once more if they could "talk about the Muppets". This time, they did have the conversation, and Spinney joined the Muppeteers full-time by late 1969.
Now that sonograms for pregnant women are common, a new tradition has evolved called the "gender reveal party," in which the family, and often the parents, find out for the first time whether the baby will be a boy or a girl. The person entrusted with this information devises a way to make the surprise happen, often with a cake. The cake inside is tinted either pink or blue, completely covered with frosting or fondant until the ceremonial cutting. Some of these cakes are rather strange. The cakes above took advantage of a joke, while others take gender stereotypes to the max for a slogan.
Oh, what a brave new world our inventors and engineers have developed for us! If they can't solve world hunger or bring peace among nations, at least they can scare the living daylights out of us. Programmer Abhishek Singh made an augmented reality program that recreates the iconic scene from The Ring in which Samara/Sadako climbs out of the TV. You know the one. It's pretty creepy.
The Big Short sounds like an oxymoron, but it's also the name of a 2015 film about the real estate bubble that led to the 2007-08 financial crash. Despite the dry and depressing subject matter, The Big Short was both a critical and box office hit and was nominated for five Academy Awards. Maybe it was the star power of Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, and quite a few other well-known actors. Maybe it was because it explained complicated financial shenanigans in a way people could understand, and made it funny as well. If you like The Big Short, you'll want to learn some trivia about it.
8. The characters were based on real people.
While the names of the people involved were obviously changed most of them were based on real people that had something to do with the disaster in 2008.
7. The real Michael Burry has a cameo in the film.
There’s a shot of him standing near the front door talking on the phone. He plays the role of a Scion employee for just a brief moment in the film.
Brooke Swanson was always color blind, but of course she didn't know that as a child, because you don't miss what you've never had. Still, it was difficult for her to use crayons if the labels were torn off. When she was diagnosed, she didn't understand. And as she grew up, she encountered new problems.
Aside from the whole crayon wrapper thing, color blindness didn’t start to really impact my daily life until high school. That’s when you start going shopping with friends, makeup becomes important, your mom isn’t dressing you anymore and you need to wear clothes that match. It wasn’t until I started making mistakes with that stuff that I realized this is kind of a big deal.
We moved when I was a junior in high school. Here I am, 16 years old, at a brand new school, and I just want what every other 16-year-old wants: to fit in. I was leaving English class when this boy Thomas came up to me and said, “I think your eyes are bleeding.” I thought it was a prank, or a weird joke, and I just kind of laughed and shrugged it off.
When I got home later the makeup I’d put on that morning was still out on the dresser. My red lip liner and my brown eyeliner were both Clinique brand, and I’d mixed them up. Thomas thought my eyes were bleeding because I’d been wearing bright red lip liner on my eyes all day. I was mortified, and I never wanted to make that mistake again. To this day, I make sure my lip and eyeliner are always different brands.
Swanson writes eloquently about the struggles of colorblindness, but her story takes an amazing turn when her boyfriend bought her a pair of Enchroma glasses. She describes discovering an entirely new world as an adult, down to seeing her son through new eyes. You'll see color differently after reading her story at The Cut. -via Digg
The Walking Dead returns this Sunday night, after a three month break in the middle of season eight. If you've ever heard the show's opening theme, you know that it's not the sort of song that lends itself to lyrics. The Warp Zone took that as a challenge.
The lyrics they used, if you can keep up with them, bring to mind the growing theory that our heroes are actually the bad guys of the series. Not that we'd ever root against them, but they do tend to leave a wide path of destruction in their wake. On reflection, that's to be expected. When you have a big special effects department working hard on zombies all the time, you have to reward them with the opportunity to burn things down and blow things up occasionally. -via Tastefully Offensive
Dear A.J., I’m in a friend’s wedding this fall, and she’s requested that all the bridesmaids wear Spanx. Do I have to? I hate the way they feel. -Sarah in Baltimore
Here's my advice, Sarah: Tell the lovely bride to cut out the crazy talk! If I’m reading it correctly, our Constitution guarantees the inalienable right to love handles. That said, if you do decide to honor and obey her wishes, take comfort in knowing that in the entire agonizing history of women’s fashion, Spanx is pretty benign.
Consider its 16th-century Spanish equivalent: an iron corset that squeezed the woman’s waist to the size of an Eggo waffle. In the centuries that followed, women slipped into something only slightly less excruciating: corsets made of whalebone, wood, and steel. Lacing up these duds required a brawny servant who stood behind the lady, often lodging a foot in her back for leverage!
Kenny must be awfully tired of living by now, and every time he dies again the prospect of succumbing to Death's cold embrace must seem a little more appealing. But as long as Kenny has work to do in South Park he'll keep coming back, leaving Death waiting in the wings like a parent waiting to pick up their child from school. It's funny how appealing immortality seems until you're actually immortal, since nobody realizes that immortality means Death will always be watching and waiting for its chance to embrace you. But that's Kenny's favorite part, because his parents weren't too big on hugging...
Show some love for your favorite animated immortal with this Let's Go Home t-shirt by Theduc, it's a killer design that'll make your fellow fans crack up wherever you go!