The Best Tweets of Halloween

Children, CHILDREN, are coming to my door expecting handouts. What happened to this country.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) October 31, 2013

Kids, watch out for razor blades in candy. They're just empty calories!
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) October 31, 2013

4 kids dressed as the Ninja Turtles just came to my door and I gave Raph and Mikey better candy because I'm a god damn American.
— Ann Coultergeist (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 31, 2013

I'm running out of candy. I hope these kids like soy sauce.
— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) October 31, 2013

Batman 1 gets candy. Batman 2 gets candy. Batman 3 gets candy. Batman 4 and beyond gets the hose. My house, my rules.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) October 31, 2013

With kids knocking on your door every five minutes, it's not like you'll have time to form a coherent, complex thought. So just turn off your brain and log in to Twitter tonight. Here are some of the funniest tweets of the evening.

Newest 2

Newest 2 Comments

We didn't have any trick-or-treaters except our own kids.

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Last night was weird. The wind was blowing hard and there were fewer kids than last year, so I didn't sit on the porch with candy as I normally do on Halloween. Kids came to the door, but then were baffled over what to do. So many of them didn't know how to knock! And those were the same ones who didn't know how to say "trick or treat" either.

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