Bang It Out posted this list of 55 “Random Thoughts of People Our Age” that contains a lot of true, yet funny things about the age of blooming technology, and the social awkwardness of living in that world as a blooming person.  A few gems:

#11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

#25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

#29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

#32. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!

#44.  I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

All people have little truths about modern life they like.  Any of these strike your funny bone, or any to add?

Link

(Image: Wikipedia)       Thanks, Jared!

"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end – I wouldn’t be surprised."

– Dorothy Parker, writer and poet

"In any great organization it is far, far safer to be wrong with the majority than to be right alone."

– John Kenneth Galbraith, economist

"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come home."

– Bill Cosby, comedian and actor

"More die in the United States of too
much food than of too little."

– John Kenneth Galbraith, economist

"In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments – there are consequences."

– Robert G. Ingersoll, American political leader and orator

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. . .Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. . . Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

– Helen Keller, deafblind American author, activist and lecturer

"He was a bold man that first eat an oyster."

– Jonathan Swift, author

"Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: ‘I’m saving food!’ Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: ‘I’m saving my life!’"

– George Carlin, comedian

"A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: she changes it more often."

– Oliver Herford, writer and artist

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.The other is as though everything is a miracle."

– Albert Einstein, physicist and Nobel laureate

"Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining."

– Jef Raskin, computer scientist (started the Macintosh project for Apple)

"So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?"

– Ayn Rand, American novelist and philosopher

"What a waste it is to lose one’s mind- or not to have a mind. How true that is."

– Dan Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

"Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read."

– Groucho Marx, comedian and actor

"The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."

– Oscar Wilde, author and playwright

"I suppose it can be truthfully said that Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity."

– Robert G. Ingersoll, American political leader and orator

"Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking."

– H.L. Mencken, journalist and satirist

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."

– Paul Ehrlich, scientist and Nobel laureate – Thanks Fred!

"Television is the device that has changed a generation of youngsters from an irresistible force into immovable objects."

– Anonymous

"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them."

– Dave Barry, author and humorist

"Don’t worry about temptation. As you grow older, it starts avoiding you."

– Elbert Hubbard, writer and artist

"Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty."

– Mark Twain, writer and humorist

"The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom."

– Isaac Asimov, author

"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing."

– Phyllis Diller, comedienne, on golf

"Definition of statistics: the science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures."

– Evan Esar, American humorist

"What is guilt? Guilt is the reason they put articles in Playboy."

– Dennis Miller, comedian, political commentator, and actor

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."

– Rich Cook, author

"The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers."

– Scott Adams, cartoonist

"If it squirms, it’s biology; if it stinks, it’s chemistry; if it doesn’t work, it’s physics; and if you can’t understand it, it’s mathematics."

– Magnus Pyke, scientist (mad scientist, actually)

"A man is not old until regrets take place of dreams."

– John Barrymore, actor

"Racism is so stupid. There’s more than enough reasons to dislike people on an individual basis."

– Will Durst, political satirist

"I’m single by choice. Not my choice."

– Orny Adams, comedian

"When I split an infinitive, God damn it, I split it so it stays split."

– Raymond Chandler, author

"The next time I want to send an idiot on some errand, I’ll go myself."

– Sam Goldwyn, movie producer and founder of Paramount and MGM movie studios (that ‘G’ in MGM stands for Goldwyn)

"Men who have pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery."

– Rita Rudner, comedian

"Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman."

– Molly Ivins, American newspaper columnist and author

"Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!"

– Andy Andrews, author

"Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair."

– George Burns, comedian (1896-1996)

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."

– Ernest Benn, British publisher (1875 – 1954)

"Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot."

– Oscar Wilde, poet and author (1854 – 1900)

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy."

– Henry Kissinger, diplomat (b. 1923)

"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere."

– Albert Einstein, scientist (1879 – 1955)

"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it."

– Mark Twain, humorist and author (1835 – 1910)

"When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear."

– Mark Twain, humorist and author (1835 – 1910)

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

– Robert A. Heinlein, sci-fi author (1907 – 1988)

"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber."

– Plato, Greek philosopher (424 – 348 BC)

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

– Oscar Wilde, poet and author (1854 – 1900)

"Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license"

– Mark Twain, humorist and author (1835 – 1910)