Archive Category: Quote-a-Day
Modern Observations of Young People
Bang It Out posted this list of 55 “Random Thoughts of People Our Age” that contains a lot of true, yet funny things about the age of blooming technology, and the social awkwardness of living in that world as a blooming person. A few gems:
#11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
#25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
#29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
#32. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
#44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
All people have little truths about modern life they like. Any of these strike your funny bone, or any to add?
(Image: Wikipedia) Thanks, Jared!
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Quote: Dorothy Parker on Yale Girls
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end – I wouldn’t be surprised."
– Dorothy Parker, writer and poet
Freedom, According to Justice William O. Douglas
The following is an article from Uncle John's Supremely Satisfying Bathroom Reader
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The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Supremely Satisfying Bathroom Reader. Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out! |
Quote: John Kenneth Galbraith on the Truth About Organizations
"In any great organization it is far, far safer to be wrong with the majority than to be right alone."
– John Kenneth Galbraith, economist
Quote: Bill Cosby on Children
"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come home."
– Bill Cosby, comedian and actor
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Quote: Galbraith on US Death From Food
"More die in the United States of too
much food than of too little."– John Kenneth Galbraith, economist
Quote: Robert Ingersoll on Rewards and Punishments
"In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments – there are consequences."
– Robert G. Ingersoll, American political leader and orator
Quote: Helen Keller on Security
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. . .Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. . . Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."
– Helen Keller, deafblind American author, activist and lecturer
Quote: Jonathan Swift on a Bold Man
"He was a bold man that first eat an oyster."
– Jonathan Swift, author
Quote: George Carlin on Leftover Food
"Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: ‘I’m saving food!’ Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: ‘I’m saving my life!’"
– George Carlin, comedian
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Quote: Oliver Herford on a Woman's Mind
"A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: she changes it more often."
– Oliver Herford, writer and artist
Quote: Einstein on Miracles
"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.The other is as though everything is a miracle."
– Albert Einstein, physicist and Nobel laureate
Quote: Jef Raskin on Exploding Shoes and Computers
"Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining."
– Jef Raskin, computer scientist (started the Macintosh project for Apple)
Quote: Ayn Rand on the Root of All Evil
"So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?"
– Ayn Rand, American novelist and philosopher
Quote: Dan Quayle on Losing One's Mind
"What a waste it is to lose one’s mind- or not to have a mind. How true that is."
– Dan Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States
Quote: Groucho Marx on Man's Best Friend
"Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read."
– Groucho Marx, comedian and actor
Quote: Oscar Wilde on Cynics
"The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."
– Oscar Wilde, author and playwright
Quote: Ingersoll on Hope
"I suppose it can be truthfully said that Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity."
– Robert G. Ingersoll, American political leader and orator
Quote: H.L. Mencken on Conscience
"Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking."
– H.L. Mencken, journalist and satirist
Quote: Paul Ehrlich on Computer
"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
– Paul Ehrlich, scientist
and Nobel laureate– Thanks Fred!
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"Television is the device that has changed a generation of youngsters from an irresistible force into immovable objects."
– Anonymous
Quote: Dave Barry on Religion
"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them."
– Dave Barry, author and humorist
Quote: Elbert Hubbard on Temptation and Getting Older
"Don’t worry about temptation. As you grow older, it starts avoiding you."
– Elbert Hubbard, writer and artist
Quote: Mark Twain on Education
"Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty."
– Mark Twain, writer and humorist
Quote: Isaac Asimov on Knowledge and Wisdom
"The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom."
– Isaac Asimov, author
Quote: Phyllis Diller on Golf
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing."
– Phyllis Diller, comedienne, on golf
Quote: Evan Esar on Statistics
"Definition of statistics: the science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures."
– Evan Esar, American humorist
Quote: Dennis Miller on Guilt
"What is guilt? Guilt is the reason they put articles in Playboy."
– Dennis Miller, comedian, political commentator, and actor
Quote: Rich Cook on Programming Idiot-Proof Programs
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."
– Rich Cook, author
Quote: Scott Adams on the Creator of the Universe
"The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers."
– Scott Adams, cartoonist
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William
O. "Wild Bill" Douglas (1898 - 1980) was the longest-serving
justice in the history of the U.S. Supreme Court. Here's what he has to
say about free speech, freedom, and the government:


















