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Bang It Out posted this list of 55 “Random Thoughts of People Our Age” that contains a lot of true, yet funny things about the age of blooming technology, and the social awkwardness of living in that world as a blooming person. A few gems:
#11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
#25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
#29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
#32. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
#44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
All people have little truths about modern life they like. Any of these strike your funny bone, or any to add?
(Image: Wikipedia) Thanks, Jared!
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end – I wouldn’t be surprised."
– Dorothy Parker, writer and poet
The following is an article
from Uncle John's Supremely
Satisfying Bathroom Reader
 William
O. "Wild Bill" Douglas (1898 - 1980) was the longest-serving
justice in the history of the U.S. Supreme Court. Here's what he has to
say about free speech, freedom, and the government:
"The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom." "It was against a background poignant with memories of evil procedures that our Constitution was drawn." "As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains seemingly unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we must be most aware of change in the air - however slight - lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness." "An arrest is not justified by what the subsequent search discloses." "The framers of the Constitution knew human nature as well as we do. They had lived in dangerous days; they knew the suffocating influence of orthodoxy and standardized thought. They weighed the compulsions for restrained speech and thought against the abuses of liberty. They chose liberty." "Those who won our independence believed ... liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty." "Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us." "Whatever the reason, words mean what they say." "What a man thinks is of no concern to government." "A requirement that literature or act conform to some norm prescribed by an official smacks of an ideology foreign to our system." "Words uttered under coercion are proof of loyalty to nothing but self-interest." "Common sense often makes good law." "When a man knows how to live dangerously, he is not afraid to die. When he is not afraid to die, he is, strangely, free to live." |
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The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Supremely Satisfying Bathroom Reader.
Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts.
If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!
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"In any great organization it is far, far safer to be wrong with the majority than to be right alone."
– John Kenneth Galbraith, economist
"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come home."
– Bill Cosby, comedian and actor
"More die in the United States of too
much food than of too little."– John Kenneth Galbraith, economist
"In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments – there are consequences."
– Robert G. Ingersoll, American political leader and orator
Comments Off
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. . .Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. . . Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."
– Helen Keller, deafblind American author, activist and lecturer
"He was a bold man that first eat an oyster."
– Jonathan Swift, author
"Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: ‘I’m saving food!’ Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: ‘I’m saving my life!’"
– George Carlin, comedian
Comments Off "A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: she changes it more often."
– Oliver Herford, writer and artist
"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.The other is as though everything is a miracle."
– Albert Einstein, physicist and Nobel laureate
"Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining."
– Jef Raskin, computer scientist (started the Macintosh project for Apple)
"So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?"
– Ayn Rand, American novelist and philosopher
"What a waste it is to lose one’s mind- or not to have a mind. How true that is."
– Dan Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States
"Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read."
– Groucho Marx, comedian and actor
"The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."
– Oscar Wilde, author and playwright
"I suppose it can be truthfully said that Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity."
– Robert G. Ingersoll, American political leader and orator
"Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking."
– H.L. Mencken, journalist and satirist
"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
– Paul Ehrlich, scientist
and Nobel laureate– Thanks Fred!
"Television is the device that has changed a generation of youngsters from an irresistible force into immovable objects."
– Anonymous
"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them."
– Dave Barry, author and humorist
"Don’t worry about temptation. As you grow older, it starts avoiding you."
– Elbert Hubbard, writer and artist
"Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty."
– Mark Twain, writer and humorist
"The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom."
– Isaac Asimov, author
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing."
– Phyllis Diller, comedienne, on golf
"Definition of statistics: the science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures."
– Evan Esar, American humorist
"What is guilt? Guilt is the reason they put articles in Playboy."
– Dennis Miller, comedian, political commentator, and actor
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."
– Rich Cook, author
"The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers."
– Scott Adams, cartoonist
