What Does The Tonberry Say? - The Final Words Of Fantasy Critters


What Does The Tonberry Say? by CArxangel

You encounter all kinds of strange creatures when you're exploring the world in search of gil and XP, some you're forced to fight and others are friends, and they all make some seriously strange noises. Have you ever heard a cactuar go boing, or a yellow chocobo go kweh? These are the sounds of adventure, the sound of an impending round of combat or a trusty steed offering you a ride across the world, and if you listen closely while traveling you'll always know where to find some action!

Share the sound of classic RPG gaming with the world, sport this What Does The Tonberry Say? t-shirt by CArxangel and watch Final Fantasy fans come out of the woodwork!

Visit CArxangel's Facebook fan page and Twitter, then head on over to her NeatoShop for more gamer-iffic designs:

Stained-Glass Princess Face of the Hero- Goron Fire Power

Kweh!

View more designs by CArxangel | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!


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This Highly Realistic Bacon Scarf Looks Good Enough to Eat

Although it looks like thinly sliced bacon ready to slide into your skillet, this is actually a silk scarf designed by Natalie Luder. She calls it Fou Lard, which means "insane bacon." It's about 6 feet long and 1 foot wide. Luder composed this story about its origin:

About 1500 years ago a Chinese silkworm found his way to France to produce silk in Europe. In the country of the « bon vivants » it accidently landed in a butcher’s shop on top of a slice of bacon. Hmm, so soft and tasty, thought the vegetarien with surprise and with verve started to build a cocoon.

As the cocoon grew more and more the butcher’s wife, a sophisticated lady, catched an eye on it. Is this bacon going insane, she thought but shortly after she spotted the little worm who found itself in a new paradise. I will make the most beautiful scarf from your silk, she promised and kept feeding the silkworm with the best bits of bacon she could find. After three month she was wearing proudly the most shiny silk scarf that she would call with affection my „foulard“.

-via Nag on the Lake


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Startup Ideas

Shen’s Startup Ideas from Owl Turd are, in order, 1. useless, 2. dumb, and 3. incomprehensible. But hey, those qualities (or lack thereof) never stopped a startup from making a ton of money. What really makes the difference in whether a startup idea ever comes to fruition is how much venture capital you can raise. Then you need the appearance of heading for success for just a little while, and you’ll either be bought out by someone with more time and money than you or someone who wants to eliminate their competition. Of course, that part about the appearance of heading for success is the part where so many startups fail.   


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A Cinderella Story:The Best Of Bill Murray

Bill Murray is the man. A million people have said it before me, and a million more will say afterwards. He is just one of those actors that transcended his celebrity status and just seems like an awesome, approachable, every-man. So rather than me sit here and say the same things everyone else has about Bill Murray, how about we just sit here and watch some of his best moments from film?

We shall allow his body of work to speak on his behalf. It's a beautiful thing.

(YouTube Link)

Bill, hit me up sometime. We'll go crash a party together. It'll be magical. 


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Fashion Styles for Ghosts

(Gemma Correll)

Ugg boots may be popular among the living this time of year, but the typical ghost wouldn't be caught dead in them. Sure, you can just wear a sheet, but only if you're going with the relaxed fit look. And that's not always appropriate.

I like the cargo style because the pockets are practical. Most ghosts, though, seem to wear it ironically.

-via Tastefully Offensive


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Ten Misconceptions About Food

YouTube Link

Ah, food. There aren't many things on which the people of the world agree, but our love of food is one of them. This Mental Floss video selects common bits of misinformation often heard about food, its additives, shelf life, preparation, cooking methods and more. One food mentioned that I can foresee never being under a false impression about is chocolate. I have that one down cold!


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30 Funny Business Signs


(Photo: jessyfastfinger)


(Photo: unknown)


(Photo: unknown)

Alex once told me to change the sign in front of the Neatorama factory. "What should I write?" "Anything is fine."

It was the last time that Alex sent me out to change the sign.

What can you do with a business sign? 22 Words has a roundup of 30 funny signs that businesses put out front to attract or scare away customers.

View more fun pics over at our NeatoPicto Blog

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Moms' Notes on Front Doors: Ring this Doorbell and Regret It

Image via: Beth Anne

This collection of notes posted on the front doors of exhausted women everywhere is full of sage reminders and cautionary tales. If you wake the child in the name of attempting to sell mama some vinyl siding, you may be diving into a sea of regret the likes of which you stand no chance of treading. Ring at your own risk. (Unless, of course, you have cookies.) See more funny notes from tired moms at 22 Words.

Image via: Chicago Now

Image via: Chicago Now

Image via: Chicago Now

Via: Anchor Wife

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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World Record Skydive

(vimeo link)

In 2012, Felix Baumgartner set a world record for skydiving from an altitude of 128,100 feet. We followed his quest to achieve it for years before it actually happened. in contrast, we heard nothing about another man's quest to break the record.

Early this morning, Alan Eustace, a senior vice president at Google, went upon a helium balloon to a height of 135,890 feet above the earth -that over 25 miles! He then cut the balloon away and fell to earth. It took two hours to go up and only 15 minutes to come down.

“It was amazing,” he said. “It was beautiful. You could see the darkness of space and you could see the layers of atmosphere, which I had never seen before.”

Mr. Eustace cut himself loose from the balloon with the aid of a small explosive device and plummeted toward the earth at speeds that peaked at 822 miles per hour, setting off a small sonic boom heard by people on the ground.

The life-support equipment Eustace used was developed by Paragon Space Development Corporation. Google had offered support when Eustice first revealed the project to them, but he didn’t want the jump to turn into a marketing event. Read more about the jump at the New York Times. -via Laughing Squid


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The Newest Meme: Adorable Bunnies as Phone Cases

10 days ago, Twitter user ryooneokrock1 sent out this image of his pet rabbit serving as a smartphone case. That triggered a wave of similar images across Japan and China. Brian Ashcraft of Kotaku has a roundup of some of the cutest photos in the meme. He denies that the rabbits' ears improve the signal strength, but that claim should be subjected to empirical testing.

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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The Top 100 Science Fiction-Themed Songs of All Time

YouTube Link

George Dvorsky at i09 compiled a list of his suggestions for the top 100 songs having to do with science fiction. This comes after their prior list of the top 100 essential albums for science fiction fans. Do you own any of the songs and/or albums listed? I have a fair amount. Porno for Pyros is part of my music collection  I've worn that CD out over the years, as well as Jane's Addiction's stuff. Beasties too.(Video/song above NSFW, language.) 

YouTube Link


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Cthulhu Ferrigno - Weird Tales Of Bodybuilding


Cthulhu Ferrigno by Lederman Studio

When the Great Old One discovered he wouldn't be able to arise in his old body he looked for a suitable replacement on Earth. He discovered a mighty hulk of a man with an incredible physique that was a vast improvement over his squishy old squid body. He freed his new host body of it's mind, and Cthulhu Ferrigno was born, ready to smash his way into our hearts with a squid faced smile and the flexing of his mighty green muscles!

Destroy the forces of bad fashion with this Cthulhu Ferrigno t-shirt by Lederman Studio, it will drive your fellow geeks crazy!

Visit Lederman Studio's Facebook fan page, official website and Twitter, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more mighty funny designs:

SMASHED There Is No Zuul! Che FC It's A Cavity Search!

View more designs by Lederman Studio | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!


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That Time it Rained Flesh in Kentucky

In March of 1876 in Bath County, Kentucky, pieces of meat started falling from the sky. Not just a little bit, but enough to have all the neighbors gathering to figure out what happened. The meat was dropped over an area 100 yards long and 50 yards wide.

The shower drew plenty of attention, and curious neighbors and newspaper reporters flocked to the Crouchs’ farm to see the mystery meat and offer their opinions on it. Many locals said it looked like beef, but one neighbor who was a hunter, “on being shown a piece of the flesh, declared it to be bear meat, and stated that it had ‘that uncommonly greasy feel’ peculiar to the flesh of that animal.”

Others took it upon themselves to taste it, and two men said it was “either mutton or venison.” A local butcher who tried a piece “declared that it tasted neither like flesh, fish or fowl. It looked to him like mutton, but the smell was a new one.”

With no one able to identify the meat by sight or taste, the St. Louis Globe-Democrat reported, “a great deal of the flesh was sent to chemists and others in various parts of the country, and analyses were made by several well-known scientists.”

The scientists came up with several possibilities, but the most likely explanation is one you won’t want to read while eating. The rest of the story is at mental_floss.

(Image credit: cjohnson7)


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Sarcastic Moms Caption Ridiculous Stock Photos of Parenting

With a measure of alarm that I do not think was undue, I asked my wife, "Is there baby poop on my face?" At that time, there was not. But it would happen. As Bane said, "that comes later." And it did.

Getting baby poop on your face is part of parenting. And there will be other, similar experiences. That is parenting--real parenting, not the kind depicted in idealized stock photos.

The Tumblr blog It's Like They Know Us is filled with images of happy, cooperative children and their cheerful, well-rested parents. Contributors have added sarcastic captions that reflect their own experiences.

Continue reading
See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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Black Bear Knows When He's Not Wanted

YouTube Link

This black bear was ambling up to the patio of a New Jersey homeowner who gave him a verbal warning to vacate the premises. Evidently, New Jersey bears are fluent in English. Or perhaps this bear is just a genius. Whatever the explanation, he turns around quickly and heads back into the woods. -Via Tastefuly Offensive

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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50% Off Sale on Halloween Stuff over at the NeatoShop

Save up to 50% off regular price on select items in NeatoShop's Halloween Shop. Treat yourself to costumes, accessories, Halloween decorations, and more. Quantities are limited, so hurry!

Check it out: Save Up to 50% off NeatoShop's Halloween Items


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Dance Dance Revolution: 1812 Overture Edition

This game works a bit like Dance Dance Revolution or Guitar Hero, in that you have to play an instrument at the right time in the music in order to score. That said, the score is the least of your concerns because you are playing the cymbal and the cannon for the 1812 Overture! There are certain points during which you can fire the cannon and cause a massive explosion whether or not the song calls for it. That’s the fun! I scored 45 or something, but also managed to wreck the opera hall quite a few times. Play it yourself and see what I mean. -via b3ta


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What Kind of Latte Does John Q. Pumpkin Drink?

Aram J. French of Mandatory Roller Coaster (previously at Neatorama) may be on to something with his imaginings of what Mr. Pumpkin orders at the coffee shop. Let's hope the baristas are on the top of their game and he doesn't have a long wait. 

-Via Laughing Squid | Image: Mandatory Roller Coaster

View more fun pics over at our NeatoPicto Blog

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Priestly Dance Battle

(YouTube link)

A group of seminarians are entertaining the crowd at a fundraiser at the Pontifical North American College in Rome. We have a musical number going when things go all Jimmy Cagney. The Rev. David Rider (of Hyde Park, New York) starts tap dancing. He is challenged by the Rev. John Gibson of Milwaukee, who shows off his Irish dance. The two try to one-up each other until they come to a moratorium and stage a duet. It was a real crowd-pleaser!  -via Buzzfeed


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Classic Horror Works of H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe, Available For Free Online

The writings of H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe played a part in laying the groundwork for tales of modern horror. Stephen King called Lovecraft "the twentieth century's greatest practitioner of the classic horror tale." Both Poe and Lovecraft's real life hardships lent to their ability to delve into darkness.

Poe, born in 1809, was a predecessor of Lovecraft, and an influence on his writing. As a child, Poe was abandoned by his father and a year later, his mother died of pulmonary tuberculosis (referred to then as consumption). He was taken in and raised by another couple, John and Frances Allan. His relationship with the former was stormy. Poe enjoyed success from his writing during his lifetime, unlike Lovecraft. An early success was his celebrated poem "The Raven."  Poe married his 13-year-old cousin Virginia when he was 26 years old. She died of tuberculosis at age 26. Poe's already present alcoholism worsened after the death of his wife, at times leading to professional setbacks and failures. Poe died at age 40 of unknown causes, though a number of explanations including complications of alcoholism, heart failure, cholera, syphilis and even rabies have been suggested. 

Lovecraft, born in 1890, was only three years old when his father had a psychotic episode and was committed to a mental asylum for the remainder of his life. Once his father was committed, Lovecraft was raised primarily by his domineering mother, with help from two maternal aunts and his maternal grandfather, all of whom lived with the mother and son. Lovecraft, though a prodigy, was prone to ill health, anxiety and night terrors as a child, and suffered from anixiety and self-imposed isolation at times throughout his life. His mother was eventually committed to the same institution as his father after suffering mental health problems of her own. Like Lovecraft's father, his mother died in the asylum. H.P. Lovecraft died of cancer, nearly penniless, at age 46. Unfortunately, his talent wasn't duly recognized until after he died. 

Today, Lovecraft and Poe are highly acclaimed for their macabre tales of horror, of which there are too many notable titles to name here. Luckily for those interested in becoming more familiar with the works of Poe and Lovecraft, many can be accessed online. These stories are perfect for the time of year when darkness comes early and there's much talk of the horror found upon midnights dreary.

Visit this link for the works of Edgar Allan Poe

Visit this link for the works of H.P. Lovecraft

-Via Open Culture | Image: Made from portraits on Wikipedia


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The Tolkien Fan

Even if you couldn’t see their faces, it should be obvious which of these Tolkien fans is the older one. Sigh. This comic from CommitStrip is labeled “a true story.” Share this with someone young and let us know if you have to explain it. -via Geeks Are Sexy


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Freddy And Jason Get Murderous Makeovers In Lady Killers

Freddy and Jason went from two ordinary names to monikers synonymous with pure evil thanks to horror movies, but these average joes of the slasher world are in desperate need of a makeover.

Freddy revamped his scare tactics by making real life feel like a movie in Wes Craven's New Nightmare, and when Jason X went to space he got a snazzy new mask and cybernetic implants, but these changes simply aren't enough.

(YouTube link)

Thankfully, Nerdist and Andrew Bowser knew exactly what to do with those classic killers to bring them back to life in style- they gender swapped 'em.

Lady Killers stars Adrianne Curry as Freddy, and cosplayers Abby Dark Star as Jason and Leanna Vamp as Ash, and it's the perfect combination of cheesy, geeky and slasher-y to get you in the Halloween spirit!

(Barely NSFW due to language)


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Jimmy Kimmel Identifies Anonymous Hero

(YouTube link)

Remember the stranger who ran into a burning house to save a man? He left the scene without talking to the media, and managed to lay low for a couple of days. But Jimmy Kimmel found out his name is Tom Artiaga and invited him to a taping of Jimmy Jimmel Live! That’s when Artiaga’s cover was blown, so he could receive some recognition -and appropriate rewards for an avid baseball fan. -via Viral Viral Videos


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More Mesmerizing Glass Sculptures from Ben Young

In June, we showed you some of the amazing sculptures that Ben Young, an artist in New Zealand, makes by carefully cutting and layering sheets of glass. His medium is an especially effective way of conveying the texture and movement of water. Some of his recent work, such as this sculpture of a lighthouse, illustrates Young's skill.

Young calls this piece "Lonesome Light." The waves of glass appear to pound the lighthouse, which juts above the sea on a mound of rock that appears both solid and fragile in the raging storm.


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Mystery Busters - A Shaggy Ghost Dog Story


Mystery Busters by Legendary Phoenix

They're the original mystery solving teens, who enjoy a good unmasking and are always stylin' when they're profilin', but what would those meddling kids do if they encountered an actual ghost? They wouldn't stand around like a bunch of busters, they'd pick up some proton packs and battle those ghosts until they ran out of Scooby snacks. One thing's for certain- after years of battling bad guys they ain't afraid of no ghosts, or a king sized sandwich!

Add a supernatural cartoon crossover to your geeky wardrobe with this Mystery Busters t-shirt by Legendary Phoenix, it's tastier than a scooby snack and way cooler than wearing a cravat!

Visit Legendary Phoenix's Facebook fan page, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more frightfully good designs:

Navi 2.0 Life Found Vault Buster Magnetism Problems

View more designs by Legendary Phoenix | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

Are you a professional illustrator or T-shirt designer? Let's chat! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get featured in front of tons of potential new fans on Neatorama!


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Celebrities And Their Historical Twins

It’s not uncommon for celebrities to become famous based largely on their looks, and even the best actors can have their careers boosted by the fact that they’re good looking.

(Jennifer Lawrence and Zubaida Tharwat/Image Link)

These famous faces are chosen because they appeal to the masses, but what if that visual appeal is somewhat subconscious?

(Maggie Gyllenhaal and Rose Wilder Lane/Image Link)

Maybe the studio heads are choosing their next A list faces based on familiarity, a feeling they’ve seen that face somewhere before?

(Ben Schwartz and Leon Trotsky/Image Link)

Check out these pictures of 20 Celebrities and Their Historical Twins and you’ll see that famous faces tend to come back around after a while, and while some of the similarities are arguable many are too close to be denied.


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Ebola (A “Lola” Parody)

(YouTube link)

Ebola jokes can be tasteless or scary, and could cause offense among those who are truly frightened of the virus. But no one takes public health more seriously than ZDoggMD, the musical alter ego of Dr. Zubin Damania.

Too soon, you say?

Actually, not soon enough. The US media hysteria around this illness is ripe for ridicule and it’s time we stepped up before someone else does it even more tastelessly.

Yeah, it’s a clever song parody, but the purpose of it is to warn against misinformation and panic regarding the disease. The duet features Devin Moore from the band Rabbit! (Incidentally, a Z-pack will do nothing against a virus.) Read more at ZDoggMD.


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The Quotable Doctor Zoidberg

In the world of Futurama there is only one Decapodian doctor you should call when you need your limbs snipped off, or a tongue depressor shoved in your ear- Zoidberg.

He’s the lonely lobster with the funny accent, and even though he seems like a total dweeb he actually has some wise words to share with the world, if you can stand listening to him long enough to hear them!

Zoidberg isn’t a philosopher, or a sage, he’s just an ordinary guy looking for the occasional dumpster sandwich to nibble on as he makes his way through the world of the far flung future.

Take a look back at Zoidberg’s beautiful mind with these 20 Hysterical Dr. Zoidberg 'Futurama' Quotes, and the next time you're looking for a quote to bust out at a dinner party you'll think "why not Zoidberg?"


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Disney Princesses Are My (Imperfect) Feminist Role Models

As I grew up in the 1970s, I recognized that the Disney princesses I’d enjoyed at the movies were not good role models for my own future daughters. But by the time I had daughters, there was a whole new generation of princesses, and they were each progressively a bit more relevant to real life. Of course, each was criticized, but then the protagonist was usually improved upon in the next princess movie. Caroline Siede looks at the different ways the princesses are role models for young girls.   

Belle is defined by her intelligence and love of reading. Princess Jasmine—the only supporting character in the entire princess line—openly declares she’s not a prize to be won. Mulan disguises herself as a man and saves China from invasion. Tiana goes from waitress to business owner thanks to her own determination. Merida and Rapunzel reject the limiting lifestyles their parents try to force on them. Like Snow White, these female-driven films found massive success at the box office, and like Frozen they actively subvert expectations of Disney princess storytelling.

And while Moana deserves ample praise for centering on a woman of color, Disney has actually done a fairly good—if delayed—job diversifying its princess line. So far the company has turned a Middle Eastern princess, a Native American chief’s daughter, a Chinese warrior, and a black business-owner into four of the most recognizable characters in pop culture with remarkably little fanfare. Meanwhile, we’ve yet to have a single superhero movie centered on a character of color.

Even looking back at the three classic era princess movies: Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty, they were breakthrough films when considered in the social context of their time. As the progressive arc from Snow White through Frozen continues, we are looking forward to Disney’s next princess movie, Moana, in 2016. Read Siede’s full article at Boing Boing.


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Faces of Fright: Scary Halloween Makeup

  "Creepy Monster" | Image: The Painting Lady

Killer makeup jobs like these can take an average costume to the next level. Bored Panda asked for creepy makeup user submissions; these are a few of the 117 submissions thus far. From oozing flesh wounds to evil, toothy clowns to pierced and punctured zombies, these makeup masks are a wide range of nightmare fodder. See more unnerving makeup art here. 


  "Terrifying Zombie" |  Image: Imgur

"Ripped Flesh Wound" | Image: redeyedemon

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Check out Twaggies' very funny clip:

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