Milton had been relocated, ignored, handed more paperwork than he could ever possibly handle, ignored again, and made fun of, but the worst blow of all came when somebody stole his stapler. He came up with a way to guarantee he would never lose his stapler again, one that only a part time sorcerer like himself could pull off- he would cast a spell and merge with the stapler. After a few failed attempts and a new pair of glasses he'd finally perfected the incantation, and when Lumbergh came over looking for those TPS reports Milton muttered the words and with a flash he and the stapler were one.
Fans of Office Space and TPS wizards agree- wearing this Milton's Revenge t-shirt by MannArt feels better than owning your own red stapler!
The Third Amendment to the US Constitution gets less respect than the other amendments in the Bill of Rights. It has been used in Supreme Court cases fewer times than the rest, and on the surface, seems hopelessly antiquated. It says, "No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law." Now, that was a problem when we were a colony in the British Empire, but no one regards it as a possibility now. Or do they? California assemblyman Mike Gatto believes the amendment could be used to prohibit the National Security Agency (NSA) from spying on American citizens.
Let's examine whether a case may be made. The National Security Agency is part of the Department of Defense and therefore of our nation's military. By law, the NSA director must be a commissioned military officer, and per its mission statement, the NSA gathers information for military purposes. That's strong evidence that NSA personnel would qualify as soldiers under the 3rd Amendment.
And why did the framers prohibit the government lodging soldiers in private homes? Besides a general distaste for standing armies, quartering was costly for homeowners; it was also an annoyance that completely extinguished a family's sense of privacy and made them feel violated. Sound familiar?
It’s been said many times that the US Constitution guarantees no right to privacy, but a broad interpretation of the Third Amendment might actually include some expectation of privacy. Ars Technica lays out some of the pros and cons of this argument.
Back in the day Max Headroom, Vrillon from Ashtar Galactic Command and a disgruntled guy calling himself Captain Midnight were all able to hijack television broadcast signals to share their message, cryptic as they may be.
But even though we assume signal hijacking would be harder in the digital age pranksters are still proving it's possible with broadcast interruptions that have turned into televised mysteries.
We now know how risky it can be to try and do anything dangerous while on LSD, but back when the drug was still young it was tested on all kinds of people in all kinds of situations, from relaxed in a room to soldiers in the middle of a war.
One particular group of British soldiers were captured on film back in 1964 while they fell apart in the field after being dosed with LSD-25, proving that acid trips and military manoeuvres don't mix.
In 1996, the news was full of how the NBA was considering drafting some hotshot kid right out of high school. A 17-year-old! Would the pros chew up and spit him out? Would he crash and burn from his immaturity? He did not. That was Lower Merion Ace Kobe Bryant, who yesterday announced his retirement after this season, his 20th with the Los Angeles Lakers.
But back in 1996, his teammates and coaches at Lower Merion High in Ardmore, Pennsylvania, were focused on winning the state championship. At the same time, the rest of the sports world was focused on that one kid that stood out.
Gregg Downer [Head coach] When your best player is your hardest working player, first in the gym, last out of the gym, first in every drill, first in every weight room activity, that makes it easier. But it did put a lot of pressure on me. I used to say, “We’re one Kobe Bryant sprained ankle away from being an average team.” Anything less than a state championship would have been viewed as a disappointment.
Jeanna Mastriano [English Teacher] During his senior year he flew all over and missed days at a time. When he returned, he always showed up with assignments that were due.
Drew Downer [Assistant coach] I used to give him FedEx packages from Duke or Kentucky. Half the time I don’t know if he ever opened it. I’d be like, “Dude, that’s from Duke!” But it was probably like the 17th package he’d gotten from Coach K.
Robby Schwartz [teammate] If you think about the times, 1995-96, it was like the first reality show. By the end, if there wasn’t a camera crew at practice that was the weird thing.
The Reese's Peanut Butter candy empire began with a cup, but nowadays that chocolate peanut butter goodness comes in all shapes and sizes, from tiny round bites to pumpkins and trees.
People are fond of those festive shapes, especially around Easter, Halloween and Christmas, but this year things got dark for Reese's on social media when their Peanut Butter Christmas trees didn't fit the mold.
People took to Twitter and Instagram to complain that the Reese's Peanut Butter Trees didnt' look like trees at all, sarcastically tagging the Tweets #happythanksgiving. First world problems, amirite?!
Personally, I eat them too fast to pay attention to how they're shaped, and sometimes I don't even have time to open the package!
What if Marvel made a romantic comedy? It could star the cast of The Avengers, since there are plenty of them! And more importantly, there are plenty of Avengers movies to take clips from in order to assemble such a movie.
When Black Friday started to sound like something out of the Dark Ages, and internet sales began to soar, the stores introduced a new holiday sale for the 21st century- Cyber Monday, the most futuristic sounding sale of them all.
Cyber Monday makes it possible to do all your holiday shopping online, thereby saving your skin from being flayed by bargain barbarians, and now through December 6th the best place to celebrate Cyber Monday is at the NeatoShop!
That's because the NeatoShop is offering FREE SHIPPING on all t-shirt orders worldwide (yes, WORLDWIDE!) for not just Cyber Monday but the entire Cyber Week, now through December 6th!
Cyber Monday sounds like something from the future
Winter can make our homes seem dark and oppressive but if you don't want to deal with a drab, cold-looking house, there are some things you can do. Over at Homes and Hues, we rounded up some great ways to make your home brighter. Most of the tips are even insanely simple -from cleaning your windows and light fixtures to adding some plants and mirrors, it can't be easier to brighten things up at home.
Cities put an enormous strain on the environment: They use more than 75 percent of the world’s energy and release more than 75 percent of the world’s carbon dioxide and other pollutants into the environment. More than half the people on earth (over 3.5 billion) live in cities, and by 2050, that number is expected to reach 70 percent. The future could be bleak: more lung disease from more pollution, increased global warming, mountains of waste, and concrete everywhere. But the people who live in the world’s greenest cities are pioneering a future that’s very different.
Population: 1.2 million
How green is it? Copenhagen has been addressing environmental issues for decades. The result is that the water in its harbors and canals is so clean that people actually swim in them. There are also more than 186 miles of bike paths in the metro area, and there are places where residents and tourists can borrow bikes for free. (Really.) Some major streets even have a “green wave” system so bike riders can speed through intersections without stopping— they hit timed green lights the entire way. The result is that nearly 55 percent of Copenhageners bike to work or school.
The city is already filled with parks, but plans are in the works to guarantee that by 2015 at least 90 percent of Copenhagen’s population will be within walking distance of a park or beach. About 20 percent of the city’s electric power comes from wind turbines, hydroelectric power, and biomass (energy from organic matter like wood, straw, and organic waste), but the goal is to stop using coal altogether. The city is encouraging residents to buy electric-and hydrogen-powered cars and is investing more than $ 900 billion so that, by 2025, Copenhagen will have reduced its coal and oil pollution to zero.
How green is it? Often called the greenest city in Canada, Vancouver has more than 200 parks in a region that’s surrounded by spectacular beaches, forests, and mountains. The city leads the world in the production of hydropower, which supplies 90 percent of its electricity. And one of Vancouver’s most famous innovations is the use of solar-powered trash-compactor bins on public sidewalks: The bins can hold five times the amount of conventional trash cans, so they need to be emptied only once a week instead of every night, which saves on the need to use the city’s gas-powered fleet of garbage trucks.
Vancouver has also been adding new streetcar lines and bike lanes, and it has constructed nearly 250 miles of “greenways,” special corridors for pedestrians and cyclists that connect parks, nature reserves, historic sites, neighborhoods, and shopping areas. And 40 percent of commuter and tourist day trips in Vancouver involve walking, biking, or using public transportation.
When the teddy bears came to the teddy bear picnic they were expecting to eat gummy berries, sip on chamomile tea and discuss any new rips, tears, repairs or button eyes they might have. Many of the bears had left their human owners and hobbled for miles to reach what was supposed to be the event of the year for plush toys. But the picnic had been turned into a massacre thanks to a particularly violent strain of stuffing virus, which turned the afflicted into savage seam ripping beasts who hungered for fresh fluff....
Show the world what really happened went they all went down to the woods with this Teddy Bear Picnic t-shirt by Dooomcat, it's so cute people will want to eat you all up when they see you wearing this dark and funny tee!
Every few months, after watching more anime than is probably a good idea, I make viewing recommendations and ask Neatorama readers to suggest their own. Let's do it again!
When I first heard of School-Live, I didn't bother with it because, at only a glance, it looked like an insipid schoolgirl slice-of-life comedy.
Boy, was I wrong!
I'm glad that I took the advice of one of my students and watched School-Live. It's a brilliantly conceived and perfectly directed story. I don't want to say too much because it will give away the premise. But at the very end of the first episode, viewers realize something very important.
The main character, through whom we encounter the story, is an unreliable narrator. Her world is anything but happy and joyful.
While we often think of Star Wars as George Lucas’ baby, it took a whole lot of different people with money, power, and/or talent to get that first movie to the silver screen in 1977. Almost forty years on, many of their contributions have been forgotten, or or they never got the recognition they deserve. Some were well-known already, like Francis Ford Coppola and Brian De Palma, and some are known mainly within their craft or area of expertise. Others are sort of in between, like film editor Marcia Lucas.
George's wife from 1969 to 1983, Marcia Lucas' influence on American Graffiti and the Star Wars trilogy was profound. Although Marcia Lucas was nominated (along with Verna Fields) for an Oscar for her editing work on American Graffiti, Marcia wasn't originally working on Star Wars in the late 70s. While George labored on his space opera, Marcia worked with Martin Scorsese on Taxi Driver. But as production on Star Wars wound on, Lucas realised that the editor he'd originally hired (John Jympson) wasn't cutting the film together with enough creative verve.
Jympson was duly replaced by three new editors, Paul Hirsch, Richard Chew, and Marcia Lucas. Together, they took Star Wars to pieces and put it back together in a way that conveyed the pace the story clearly required. One of the key sequences Marcia worked on was the final assault on the Death Star. Knowing that it was one of the pivotal moments in the movie, she took it apart and re-ordered the scenes to give it a greater flow and build-up.
Marcia and George's subsequent break-up has often left her overlooked, but her contribution to the Star Wars franchise shouldn't be underestimated. While she shared an Oscar with Hirsch and Chew for her editing work, Marcia's efforts went beyond the technical. For years, she was George's closest and most honest critic, telling him frankly which parts of his story worked and which ones didn't. When George struggled with what to do with Obi Wan Kenobi's character towards the end of Star Wars, it was Marcia who came up with the idea of killing him off. Conversely, Marcia encouraged George to keep some of Star Wars' more humane moments, too. Leia's "Kiss me for good luck" line to Luke was nearly edited out, until Marcia convinced him to leave it in.
Uncle Paulie slices garlic for a prison feast in Goodfellas | Image: Warner Bros.
When one thinks of inmates cooking in prison, an image that often comes to mind is the scene in Scorsese's Goodfellas, in which the gang on the inside gathers to cook a large, delicious meal complete with wine, Italian bread and the works.
But obviously, no one eats well in prison besides the "VIP" inmates. What's the experience of most? Esquire makes a list of eight from a detailed feature in Thrillist, based on an interview with former inmate Daniel Genis, who gives us the nitty gritty. With the emphasis on gritty:
1. The most common food inmates eat in prison is instant ramen, which is called "crackhead soup" because it's the cheapest thing you can buy in the commissary at 10 cents a pack. Turns out prison isn't all that different from college.
2. It's not like prison cells come equipped with a stove, though, so in order to cook the ramen, inmates rely on a little trick called "the stinger." To make one, all you need is cold water from the tap, an electrical outlet, nail clippers, a power cord, and "the courage to drop a live wire into a cup of water."
I suppose you’ll have to live within 15 miles of an Amazon warehouse to take advantage of drone delivery. That’s a pretty small customer base, but I guess you have to start somewhere. When will it happen? When all regulatory agencies are satisfied with the plan. So, we have no idea. -via Viral Viral Videos
This is Devon "Bosco" Farr. He's a manager at BookPeople, an independent bookstore in Austin, Texas. Every day for the past year, Farr has eaten a taco.
He's part of an emerging trend among creative people. It can be hard to fit in artistic work while trying to earn a living and going about the other chores of normal life. In response, many artists, as a disciplinary practice, create a small object or perform an inventive task every day for an entire year.
We've already seen the fruits of this labor. Every day, Noah Scalin created a skull-themed piece of art. Stian Korntved Ruud made a wooden spoon. Tanaka Tatsuya made a miniature diorama. And there are many more. Gillian Brockell of the Washington Post talked to several artists engaging in 365 projects, including Lauren Rapp, who makes little chairs out of many different media:
For Rapp, it all started in December 2014 with a failed attempt to finish the “The Artist’s Way,” the 1992 self-help workbook that’s supposed to jump-start your creative side. Rapp, who was frustrated and barely getting by with freelance Web consulting gigs, had been meeting with friends to do the workbook, hoping accountability to a group would push her through to the end. Something, anything, to break the procrastination.
“We made it through three or four sessions,” she says, laughing . “And then, you know, people get busy. Life gets busy.”
The book encourages meditation, so after what ended up being the last group session, she sat for 10 minutes, “which to me can be an eternity.”
“And during the meditation, during my wandering thoughts, I just thought it would be cool to make a little chair for my bookshelf, for a decoration,” she recalls. “Then I thought, ‘Well, you’re supposed to be meditating, not thinking about this!’ ”
Eventually, Rapp realized that her way of mediating was to make chairs.
Diseases brought by Europeans wiped out 90% of the people living in the New World, which allowed conquest and colonization. That happens when long-isolated populations meet for the first time. Have you ever wondered why it didn’t go the other way? Why didn’t New World diseases wreak havoc on Europeans?
CGP Grey explains how the differences between the Eastern and Western Hemispheres over the long history of civilization left us with plague, typhus, cholera, smallpox, and other diseases, but no “Americapox.” The transcript is at Grey’s website, and there’s a discussion at his subreddit. -via Geeks Are Sexy
It's hard to imagine anybody who grew up watching cartoons in the last thirty five years or so could have completely avoided watching any anime, but believe it or not poor anime deprived souls are out there.
They have no idea what their eyeballs have been missing by not being exposed to anime, but now thanks to BuzzFeedVideo they've seen the light...and a few of them might be scarred for life because they watched Attack On Titan.
Neil and Michael Fletcher, brothers from Sudbury, Ontario, found a bald eagle with one foot stuck in a hunting trap. They approached the skittish bird and draped a sweater over its head. The eagle eventually calmed down enough so that the brothers could open the trap and remove the bird.
"The eagle was actually holding on to [the trap] and we were having a hard time getting him to let go," [Neil Fletcher] said.
Once the eagle's foot was out of the trap, Neil suggested they take a selfie with it.
"I knew this would never happen again, so before we let it go, I told my brother Michael, 'we should take a picture with it.' The bird had its mouth open, but he never tried to fly or bite or do anything," he said.
"It made it pretty easy [for us to] take a picture with it."
After documenting the rescue, they released the eagle. Chris Blomme of the Sudbury Ornithological Society said it was a brave thing to do. The story at CBC News has videos of the rescue and the release. -via Fark
The three lions are playing ball--just barely. In contrast with a fast-paced game of human soccer, the trio remain firmly affixed to the floor. To make it worse, the lion on the left appears to be gesturing for a substitution. He needs a breather.
When the selfie craze reached the Street Fighter universe it immediately started causing all kinds of problems, mostly because that stretchy goofball Dhalsim wouldn't put his phone down and fight! The other fighters found it unfair to be KOd by a guy kicking you from across the ring while staring at a screen, so Blanka hatched a plan to destroy his phone once and for all. He crept up while Dhalsim wasn't paying attention and quickly shocked the heck out of him, fragging the phone in the process. The fighters cheered and tried to get back to battling, but Dhalsim interrupted by saying "Hey, can I borrow somebody's phone"
Ignite the yoga fire within you with this SF Selfie by Louisros, it's the easiest way to get a PERFECT score in geeky style.
The McDonald's corp recently ran a promotion in Malaysia where customers could score a free Big Mac if they submitted a recording of themselves singing the song "Sama-Sama Big Mac" using the Dubsmash voice dubbing app.
The Charles Dickens story A Christmas Carol has been adapted in many different ways. In 1988, it was made into a comedy! The characters were brought into the modern world, and the plot centered around Bill Murray. However, his character’s name wasn’t Ebenezer Scrooge, but Frank Cross, a TV executive overseeing a live Christmas Eve presentation of A Christmas Carol. Despite all the changes, we still see a greedy, cynical man visited by three ghosts who lead him to understand the spirit of Christmas. There’s a lot of behind the scenes trivia you might not know about what went into making Scrooged.
1. THE FILM MARKED BILL MURRAY’S RETURN TO THE BIG SCREEN.
Though it’s easy to remember the 1980s as a decade packed with Bill Murray comedies, Scrooged marked a reemergence of sorts of the in-demand comedian. Though he had a brief cameo in Frank Oz’s 1986 remake of Little Shop of Horrors (playing a pain-seeking patient of Orin Scrivello, Steve Martin’s demented dentist character), Scrooged was Murray’s first major role following a self-imposed, four-year exile from Hollywood.
6. THE MOVIE WAS AN SNL REUNION OF SORTS.
The script for Scrooged was written by Mitch Glazer and Michael O'Donoghue, whom Murray had worked with in the early days of Saturday Night Live.
7. EVEN PAUL SHAFFER WAS THERE.
Before he rose to fame as David Letterman’s musical director, Paul Shaffer was a member of the SNL house band from 1975 to 1980 and appeared in a number of sketches, most notably as the piano player to Murray’s Nick the Lounge Singer character. He makes a cameo in Scrooged as a street musician, where he plays alongside fellow musical legends Miles Davis, David Sanborn, and Larry Carlton.
Yet another gem from Ask Reddit: a security guard tell-all. What sort of oddities show up on surveillance camera footage or is observed by security personnel on the job? As it turns out, oddities of all shapes, sizes and species. Read some examples below, and check out all of the responses at Reddit. Via Uproxx
“While working at a department store at the end of a strip mall, I saw a bobcat run past the doors, heading towards Target. Several seconds later, I saw a mother, father, and two children go running past in the same direction. A few minutes later, the family walked back past the doors, with the father carrying the bobcat. A big, f*ck off bobcat. It was kinda odd.” -OliverFriends
“I saw 3 casino floor waitresses go to a storeroom behind a bar the pulling their tops down and comparing breast sizes and feeling each other for bounciness. Apparently one of them just got implants and they were comparing them to the real thing. This went on for over 5 minutes then they pulled their tops back up and went to work like it was nothing.” -ChewedGummieBears
“Doing a stroll through the parking lot of a factory I was a guard at once. Noticed some commotion in a vehicle, so I shined my flashlight into the window. I busted Manager A with Manager B’s wife. It was slightly awkward.” -Bmc00
I worked at a hotel and we had a group of college kids come ask us if we had security footage of the pool area between 3-5 a.m. They were all excited about it so we pulled it up. At around 3 a.m. you see them sneak in and about 30 minutes later they started a drunken belly flop competition and wanted us to tell them who won. One of them did about five perfect belly flops in a row. I am talking NO FEAR, grade A belly flops. We told him that he won and he raised his hands up in celebration, got a funny look on his face and ran outside to puke.” -General HF
Have you ever tried to direct your dreams? Think of something wonderful as you are falling asleep to see if it stays in your brain. Well, your brain has different ideas. Sarah Andersen illustrates that terrifically in the latest comic at Sarah’s Scribbles.
Rocket News 24 reports that railroads in Japan have a problem: turtles wander onto their tracks and get stuck between the switching rails. When the switches flip, they fail to close completely due to the turtles' bodies. This causes train accidents.
It's an unpleasant experience for the turtles, too.
For a solution, the West Japan Railway Company teamed up with the Suma Aqualife Park in Kobe. They designed and built tunnels that allow turtles to walk under the rails completely. Since this system was implemented in April, people have spotted at least 10 turtles using the tunnels.
Your winter wonderland of snow is cold, wet, and slippery. The sleigh skids off a cliff and everyone dies. Or else you get pneumonia and frostbite, too. That’s the mood of this version of "Jingle Bells."
In 1974, farmers in China uncovered the tomb of Emperor Qin Shi Huang. Since then archaeologists at the site have found well-preserved grave goods dating back 2,300 years, including 8,000 terracotta human and animal figures known as the Terracotta Army.
In 2004, archaeologists at the site uncovered the remains of a mysterious board game. They published on their findings in 2014. Their article was recently translated into English in the journal Chinese Cultural Relics. The gaming journalism site Killscreen describes the game, which appears to be a surviving set of the long-lost game of "Bo":
The game’s pieces consist of a 14-sided die (carved out of an old animal tooth), 21 numbered rectangular game pieces, and a slab of broken tile, thought to be a piece of the game’s board. The reconstructed tile was decorated with two eyes, which were painted amongst stormy cloud and thunder sketches, as archaeologists reported in their findings.
The game’s pieces are reported by archaeologists to potentially be of “liubo,” mostly called “bo” for short. “Bo” seemingly vanished from the history of ancient Chinese board games around 1,500 years ago, and researchers have remained at a loss as to how the game was played, as well as being unsure if the rules of the game even varied from generation to generation of players. The closest clue is that of a 2,200-year-old poem by Song Yu, which recounts a game with similar pieces to the ancient board game’s artifacts found over the years.
The 14-faced die is where this ancient game gets particularly interesting. Twelve sides of the die are numbered one through six in the ancient Chinese calligraphy of zhuan-shu, or “seal script,” which existed as the formal script for all of China during the Qin dynasty. However, the remaining two sides are blank – entirely vacant of any marks. Even with this new discovery, “Bo” remains a mystery to all.