How The Pretentious Jerk At Your Local Record Store Got That Way

Records stores are one of those places where the "hep cats" and "cool kids" shop and therefore they look daunting to people who don't think they're cool enough to be around that crowd.

Then the music lovers and record collectors who muster up the nerve to walk into the store have to deal with the pretentious clerks who make the whole experience a pain.

Some of these clerks are using their knowledge of music to boost self esteem and help them cope with their social anxiety, but most record store clerks are jerks because the customers made them that way.

Christopher Bickel of Dangerous Minds worked at a record store for over a decade and kept a notebook under the counter the entire time he worked there- so he and the other employees could write down the dumb things customers say:

Customer: “Do y’all have any cuban music? Like Kenny Chesney or Jimmy Buffett but without the Kenny Chesney and the Jimmy Buffett.”

One of our employees is eating a bag of chips when a customer comes up and asks “whatcha eatin’? Rootbeer?”

Customer: “Do you have CDs for turntables?”

Customer: “Do you guys buy records? I have a Lou Rawls album that my wife looked up online. It sells for $800. You can sell it for me and take a cut.”

Customer: “Why are there only 12 songs on this CD?”
Clerk: “Uh, that’s just how many songs are on it.”
Customer: “So, there’s six songs per side?”

(phone call)
Customer: “Is this the record place?”
Clerk: “Yes.”
Customer: “Could you tell me how to get a record deal? I do rap.”

Customer: “Do you have any Van Morrison? I didn’t see any under ‘V’.”
Clerk: (politely) “Well, it would actually be under ‘M’.”

Customer: “NEVERMIND!” (customer storms out)

Read more from How Your Pretentious Local Record Store A--hole Got That Way here


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