For young people who haven't attended many weddings on their own, this may be very useful. Buzzfeed has a thorough, but not exhaustive guide to attending a wedding, from interpreting an invitation to what to wear. The biggest subject is, of course, gifts.
12. I’d love to get them something amazing, but I’m broke. Is it totally awful to give them the least expensive item on the registry?
Not awful at all! If you’re low on cash, you could gather a few like-minded friends and pool your resources for a pricier item, but you could also just give them that $5 set of ramekins and be done with it. If you’re worried about the inexpensive gift looking cheap, you could add a small/inexpensive non-registry item that feels special/personal — aka get them the coffee mugs on their registry, and then add a bag of your favorite local coffee — but, again, you don’t have to.
13. I don’t mind spending money, but I hate registries so much in principle. Can I get them something that’s not on their registry? I think they’ll like it…
If you want to go off-registry, proceed with caution. If you want to skip the registry to give them something cool and special — think: local or handmade objects, vintage items, art — and you know their tastes well, then go for it. If you’re close with the couple, you could call one of them up and ask, “So what do you really want for your wedding?” They might tell you something on their registry that actually holds meaning, or they might divulge that they’d love a non-registry item, like a framed wedding portrait. If you don’t feel comfortable asking them directly, test the waters with someone in the bridal party or a sibling and ask how they think the couple would feel about the non-registry gift you have in mind.
But! If you want to go off-registry to buy a different version of something they actually registered for, hold up. The items listed aren’t mere suggestions — if the couple registers for a $100 chef’s knife, they want that $100 knife and not some other knife you happen to like.
When I was young, a wedding registry was mainly to help a couple start building their set of fine china and silverware. When that fell out of fashion, a couple would often receive weird stuff like a donut maker because people were afraid to buy something that anyone else would give. Gift registries are a convenience that works for both the giver and the receiver, and you may as well take advantage of it. If you’re going to a wedding this year, or ever, read the rest of the wedding etiquette guide at Buzzfeed.
(Image credit: Charlotte Gomez/BuzzFeed)