10 Evidence Based Wedding Vows

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One of the best pieces of marital advice that I encountered while I was engaged was, "Take your wedding vows seriously."

Samantha Joel has a similar idea. She's a doctoral student in psychology and is engaged to be married. She's written ten phrases that can be used in wedding vows. These reflect what psychological research reveals to be successful traits of enduring relationships. Each of her vows are followed by a psychological explanation and footnotes to support her claims. Here's an example:

6. I promise to nurture your goals and ambitions; to support you through misfortune and celebrate your triumphs.

This vow covers the other side of being a good attachment figure: being there for your partner when they’re not distressed. Basically, my partner and I both want to know that we can take risks, make mistakes, and come home to a supportive partner at the end of the day. Letting your partner go out and conquer their goals, knowing that you’re there in the background cheering them on, is called being a “secure base”.7 

-via Dear Wendy


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