Photo: Mike Byerly
- via Maria Kang's official website
Thirty-two-year-old mother of three little boys and fitness enthusiast Maria Kang posted that photo above, featuring herself (and her washboard abs) with the caption "What's Your Excuse?"
Since she posted it on Facebook, Kang's photo has gone viral. It has garnered more than 16 million views and over 30,000 comments - most of which are positive "You go, girl" type. But some people took offense and called Kang a bully for "fat-shaming" women. Some even called her a "bad mother," accusing her of spending more time exercising rather than caring for her children.
To which, Kang replied in this (not-so-apologetic) apology:
I'm sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I won't go into details that I struggled with my genetics, had an eating disorder, work full time owning two business', have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer. I won't even mention how I didn't give into cravings for ice cream, french fries or chocolate while pregnant or use my growing belly as an excuse to be inactive.
What I WILL say is this. What you interpret is not MY fault. It's Yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn't create them. You created them. So if you want to continue 'hating' this image, get used to hating many other things for the rest of your life. You can either blame, complain or obtain a new level of thought by challenging the negative words that come out of your own brain.
With that said, obesity and those who struggle with health-related diseases is literally a 'bigger' issue than this photo. Maybe it's time we stop tip-toeing around people's feelings and get to the point. So What's Your Excuse? - Maria Kang
As a recovering bulimic, Kang said that she understood why people are so defensive when it comes to their weight. She told Yahoo! Shine, "I think people struggle with their weight. When you add on being a mother - and the pressures we face to have it all and be everything, including fit - the expectations are so high. I think some moms saw the picture and just said, 'This is ridiculous.'"
But body image IS a big deal (exhibit A: the hullabaloo over Barbie's shape), so is Kang's "What's Your Excuse" photo is a case of fat-shaming? Or did she do the right thing by challenging people to exercise and take better care of themselves?
I think the problem with a lot of things like this, is that they involve people assuming everyone is just like them and that the same amount of effort is needed by anyone. Even if that isn't true in this specific case, it happens so often that others will just assume that is what is happening.
It is rarely completely impossible for people, but for some, the amount of effort and misery involved leaves the question of it is a net gain for the person's life, if living an extra year is worth it if you spend decades not enjoying life. I can't blame someone for making that choice different than I would, especially if they aren't doing something egregious and instead are spending that time and effort to better themselves in a different way.
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I, too, applaud the accomplishment, but don't care for the written message which seems unnecessarily belittling to those who either cannot or _choose_ not to do the same (as is everyone's right).
I wonder if (and how long) she breastfed the three of them, though that's probably a whole different can of worms... Religion might be a less controversial topic...
Plus, the whole bragging/dare thing is insulting. It's like I never buy the stuff that's forced on me in internet ads . . . to hell with em . . .
But it could have easily been an ad for birth control, taken out of context as it is.
The Fitness world is all about embarrassing you, so of course she sees nothing wrong with it. If you feel insecure about your body because of this, then it worked. The ad's not for regular plump people - it's for people who were in shape and then got lazy and let themselves go - not chubby mothers.
As someone who was bulimic, there was a time when she did give in to those cravings and couldn't stop herself from overeating and then throwing up. During that time, I'm sure she wanted to resist many times, but for various reasons (psychologically), she could not. As someone who endured this hardship, she should have empathy for people who are not yet or may never be capable of "resisting" these urges. She should understand that it's not about being "lazy", but about being in a place in your life emotionally, physically, logistically, genetically, etc. where you can make better choices and dig yourself out of the hole you're in. And just because she managed it does not mean others should be able to do as well as each person lives in a different skin and has different challenges.
Rather than hold herself out as a triumph, she should remember when she also was a failure and regard those who are still where she was with kindness and compassion. But, then, she's selling something now, isn't she? And it's not healing and wellness.