A Column That Only Canadians Will Understand

Dave Bidini has a column in the National Post. I have no idea what he's talking about. Google Translate isn't helping a bit. Do you understand?

For years, I was a keener, but after my short-lived stint as reeve of Dildo, Nfld., in which I stumped for the still-unpopular Gouge and Screw Tax — dinged in the polls and my approval rating going downhill as fast as a runaway toboggan or a bus shagger — I put the kerfuffle behind me and tried to forget the fact that I’d been soundly turfed, even though Joey Smallwood’s buddy had cherry-picked me himself. I got off the chesterfield, threw on my old housecoat and thongs, hucked a forty pounder, half-sack of swish and mickey of goof in a Loblaws bag over my shoulder before leaving my bachelor apartment to head due west past fire halls and hydros and parkades and corner stores in the direction of Dead Rear, Oilberta looking for some kind of joe job — cleaning eavestroughs; stitching hockey sweaters; packing Smarties; anything! — although damned if I knew whether I would find work once I got there.

Link -via Nag on the Lake

(Photo: tnimalan)


There's a lot of very regional words / dialect in there, many of which I don't understand (grew up in Toronto and Southwestern ON, mom is from the East Coast [NFLD, NS, NB, PEI], dad from Northern ON) but I get the gist of it. Definitely not an instant "GOT IT!" situation lol.
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I'm also learning about things/terms I didn't know were uniquely Canadian! Been living in the US for 2.5 years now and didn't realize I wouldn't be able get by using some of these terms haha
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Umm.... "thongs" mean the same thing here in Montreal as they do in the US, but I think the columnist here means "sandals." they call sandals "thongs" in Australia though.
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