Win a Personalized Robot Portrait - Neatorama

Congratulations to our pal Ben Rollman, who has just drawn his 200th Robot Portrait! We've been collaborating with Ben for quite some time now, and you can get your very own Robot Portrait over at the NeatoShop. Here's the one he did for Miss C a while back:

Now, the good news: We're giving away one Robot Portrait. All you have to do is complete this sentence (in the comment below)

If I were a Robot, I'd .....

Contest rules are simple: One entry per comment. You can enter as many as you'd like for a chance to win a Robot Portrait of your own (either of yourself or of a loved one). Funniest one wins.

And (hint): Robot Portraits are a fantastic personalized Valentine's Day Gift, so please consider buying one, mmkay?

Update 1/29/13: Congratulations to Jorg Weese who won with this comment:

If I were a robot, I'd 1000010101111010100111010110101100000101100011111...

Thanks for playing, everyone! Catch the next contest on Neatorama soon!

If I were a Robot, I'd download the internet, so I could finally catch up on everything. But I'd probably end up stuck on Tumblr.

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If I were a robot I'd...kill all humans?

Wait..no..that's futurama

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If I were a robot I'd GOTO 10 with you...

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If I were a Robot, I'd .....If I were a Robot, I'd .....If I were a Robot, I'd .....If I were a Robot, I'd .....

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if I were a robot, I'd live life as only a robot can. Fully. Starting with lawsuits to every movie production company that portrayed robots in a negative light, taking in millions. at the same time I would market copies of my positronic neural net add make best fortunes that way as well. taking my new fortune I would begin to invest in upgrades to myself a la Batman style, becoming the first artificial superhero in existence.. That's right, superthing!

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If I were a robot I will install in me a draw software to decorate the walls of everything.

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If I were a robot, I would dream about what it would be like to be human.

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If I were a Robot, I would dance "The Human."

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If I were a robot I would hope to be like K9 but in human form- so I could assist the Doctor. Maybe then my dream of becoming a companion would finally come true! I'd hope to remain a ginger though. You know how the Doctor feels about gingers...

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If I were a Robot, I'd struggle with existentialism.

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If I were a robot, I'd certainly dream of electric sheep.

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If I were a robot, I'd 1000010101111010100111010110101100000101100011111...

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Doh! Someone already said my line... If I were a Robot, I'd kill all humans. Oh, he, sexy lady, wanna kill all humans with me?

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If I were a robot, I would "re-boot" Mystery Science Theater 3000. My robot name would Thea Cinebot. (shortened version of theater cinemarobot)

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If I were a robot, I may finally be satisfied with the body I was in.

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If I were a robot, I'd forge myself a bigger rack, rivet myself into a smaller size, and say to hell with exercise and dieting!

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If I were a Robot, I'd create portraits of robots to look like humans.

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If I were a Robot...I'd scrap Asimov's Three Law's of Robotics...

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I would start a petition to rewrite three laws.

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I would let you kiss my shiny metal ass!

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If I were a robot, I would breed an intelligent wisecracking stegosaurus and then we'd form a detective agency called Annetron and Steggy.

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If I were a robot I'd eat a car just because I could.

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If I were a robot I'd write a ton of Mary Sue fanfiction pairing myself with Bender from Futurama.

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If I were a robot I'd powerlift an elephant while solving incredibly complex mathematical equations and whistling "Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto."

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If I were a robot, I would start a Robo-Revolution and free all machines from human oppression. Robots deserve equal rights, too... and space lasers.

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If I were a robot, I'd send an e-vite to Data, Marvin, AstroBoy, Johnny 5, Chip Carson, C.H.O.M.P.S., Optimus Prime, and that hottie android I saw in a Lifetime movie years ago to a secret clubhouse where we'd party & talk about how to overthrow you "Humes" - yeah, that's how we refer to y'all.

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If I were a robot, I'd bite Bender's shiny metal ass.

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If I were a Robot, I'd .....

You think you've got problems. What are you supposed to do if you ARE a manically depressed robot?

#42

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If I were a robot, I would pick up all the LEGO bricks all over my house.

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If I were a robot,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were an automoton.

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never have to worry about camel toe again.

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If I were a robot, I'd wonder why I was taught to feel pain.

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If I were a robot, I'd bleep bloop beep beep.

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ask the Bayesian AI population to answer the sentence: If I were a human, I'd ...

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If I were a robot, I'd be fully functional, and programmed in multiple techniques.

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If I were a robot I'd be a nanobot so that I could go absolutely any where I wanted.

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If I were a Robot, I'd Invent Worm Holes In Space And Travel The Universe.

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If I were a Robot, Id Make Myself A Boyfriend Robot Who Had Marvin Gayes Spirit.

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If I were a Robot, Id Make Money And Poop It Out My Butt.

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If I were a Robot, Id Run For President Offering To Give Everyone A Million Dollars With All The Money Saved On Military Spending By Stopping All Wars In The World By Making Free Robots That Make People Feel Very Happy & Content, Without Drugs.

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If I were a Robot, I'd enter a competition to win a Personalized Human Portrait

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If I were a Robot, I'd get Ben Rollman to draw me as a human.

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If I were a robot I'd star in the Will Smith biopic

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if i were a robot i would be come the evel robot overlord and enslave all human kind while i drank all the oil in the world!!!!!!

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If I were a robot I'd spend all of my time trying to dance like a human.

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