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What Is It? game 201



It's once again time for our collaboration with the always amusing What Is It? Blog. Can you guess what the pictured item is? Or can you make up something interesting?

Place your guess in the comment section below. One guess per comment, please, though you can enter as many guesses as you'd like in separate comments. Post no URLs or weblinks, as doing so will forfeit your entry. Two winners: the first correct guess and the funniest (albeit ultimately wrong) guess will win T-shirt from the NeatoShop.

Please write your T-shirt selection alongside your guess. If you don't include a selection, you forfeit the prize, okay? May we suggest the Science T-Shirt, Funny T-Shirt and Artist-Designed T-Shirts?

For more clues, check out the What Is It? Blog. Good luck!

Update: Rob at the What Is It? blog admitted that he doesn't know what this tool is for. It's an enduring mystery. Since we don't know who is right (if any one is), we selected TWO winners with the funniest answers! Galen said this was a specialized whisk for making wavy gravy. That's funny! And Augie explained:
After a horrible zipper accident Stan "Soprano Singer" Stevens spent 20 years and his family fortune designing and developing this tool to remove stray body parts from pant zippers.

Stevens patented the device, but allowed other companies to freely manufacture, distribute and sell them for the common good (i.e. pro boner).

Both will get t-shirts from the NeatoShop!

It may be a kind of „seam roller“ ... fpr pressing against material with the portion of the overlapping gears

If you are not part of the solution S
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It could be a device for closing/sealing the rear folded end of e.g a toothpaste tube container, to prevent that the folded part opens easily.

carbon footprint 2xl black
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A primitive depilatory device for removing the hairs. The wheels clamp on a hair and pull it when rolled over it. Popular in Brazil I believe.

Keep on blogging please
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That's what early movie stars used instead of botox. All excess skin was pulled into inconspicuous areas and then crimped together to keep the star's face and other areas wrinkle free and youthful.

Family Schmaily,I'm here for the turkey. 2XL blue.
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It's a cosmetic tool for Klingon women. They run this crimper through their ridges for a righteous 80's look. They'll even add a little hot pink for flare.

Family Schmaily,I'm here for the turkey. 2XL blue.
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Just try to defeat the hungryness by imagining pasta, pie, and a Reece's Cup actually where made by this slightly rusty tool undoubtly smelling like a mixture of old machine oil, wood and other substances that came in contact with this doubious tool... .-)
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Circumcision tool, early model. After using this for a few hundred years, the victims subjects argued for just using a knife.

Protected by Ninja Kitty - 2XL
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Meat diagrammer from the late 18th century. The farm animal was tussled to the ground while the most delectable bits were marked into appropriate sections.

It's a trap. - Chocolate - Xl
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Definitely a metal crimper. For crimping seams or for fitting ducts. That's "ducts," not "ducks." I don't even want to discuss fitting ducks.

Love is a Biohazard, natural, L
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This is a recovered object from a UFO that has been sitting in area 51. You see aliens have taken the art of Pizza and adapted it to their tastes. In space pizza is four dimensional and requires a very special pizza cutter. The ones from earth simply don't make it in alien cuisine.
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The post office in a last ditch effort to return to solvency has dropped all their stamp printing machines. Now they have resorted to kidnapped elves from Santa's workshop. The elves hand paint the stamps. After they are done they use this device to cut the edges on the stamps.
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It's what they had to use on Bender's mechanical and metalic parts to wring out the alcohol after he drank do much a robot actually got alcohol poisoning...it was a strange day in medical science.
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It's an old chastity device, one of the original devices. Unfortunately it was quickly dropped when it was found out the device caused the one thing they were trying to prevent...
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This is a recovered object from a UFO that has been sitting in area 51. You see aliens have taken the art of Pizza and adapted it to their tastes. In space pizza is four dimensional and requires a very special pizza cutter. The ones from earth simply don't make it in alien cuisine.

I want to believe, alien version. Tshirt black large
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It's the special order baby rattle the guy from Saw was going to give his unborn son before the junky killed him.

Support cloning tshirt dark brown large
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The post office in a last ditch effort to return to solvency has dropped all their stamp printing machines. Now they have resorted to kidnapped elves from Santa's workshop. The elves hand paint the stamps. After they are done they use this device to cut the edges on the stamps.

I want to believe alien ver, tshirt black large
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It's what they had to use on Bender's mechanical and metalic parts to wring out the alcohol after he drank do much a robot actually got alcohol poisoning...it was a strange day in medical science.

Support cloning tshirt dark brown large
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It's an old chastity device, one of the original devices. Unfortunately it was quickly dropped when it was found out the device caused the one thing they were trying to prevent...

I want to believe alien ver, tshirt black large
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It's a cog/gear tester. You take out the screws on the side and put a cog in. If it moves the cog/gear works.

Support cloning tshirt dark brown large
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This is what the old school back massagers worked. Their big downside was if your wife wasn't paying attention she could send you to the ER with mashed potato skin...

I want to believe alien ver, tshirt black large
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This is what parents used to give their children as babies to prepare them for the harsh conditions of factory work. When child labor laws kicked in they became obsolete.

Support cloning tshirt dark brown large
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It's a tool my Gramma uses to recrimp curling ribbon once she has VERY SLOWLY, CAREFULLY and meticulously opened her presents, ironed the fancy paper her gift was wrapped in, and reclaim any scotch tape she managed to salvage.

Real Zombies Don't Run, Chocolate, XL (because they don't...those are infected rage cannibals running behind you, NOT zombies)
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Some more or less obscure piece of tool someone filed a patent application for, but it turned out that it was not so sucessful that it became generally accepted or even known...

NeatoBot Walking 2xl Navy
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After a horrible zipper accident Stan "Soprano Singer" Stevens spent 20 years and his family fortune designing and developing this tool to remove stray body parts from pant zippers.

Stevens patented the device, but allowed other companies to freely manufacture, distribute and sell them for the common good (i.e. pro boner).

Happy Face T-shirt, white, medium
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