What do you say to make conversations with strangers?
Columnist LZ Granderson writes about the one question that only Americans ask first when they meet someone new (and it's true, whenever I travel abroad, no one ever asks me this question - not at first, anyhow):
There isn't a question that's more quintessentially American than "What do you do for a living?"
It is just safe enough to start a conversation with a stranger, it is universal enough so anyone can answer, and it strikes right to the core of what our culture values most -- money. [...]Since the end of the 20th century, "What do you do for a living?" has ceased to be an inquiry about how someone spends their time during normal business hours and instead serves as a slightly grating, socially acceptable manner in which we remind each other of the stuff we don't have or will never get.
Iirc, there was something about Californians(?) thinking the "What do you do" question too rude for an acquaintance.
[deleted] It is STILL an inquiry about how someone spends their time. It's an innocuous conversation starter.
Maybe the more cultured of us would say, "What do you do?" leaving it open to jobs or hobbies or sports or whatever...
Unless you're a [deleted] who wants to remind someone of "the stuff we don't have or will never get." Or unless you're a hypersensitive [deleted]
...sorry, this story ain't Neatorama...
really??? really??? ummm... NO. it's something you know you have in common with the other person... as in, news flash: ya both DO SOMETHING for a living!!!
ugh, some people...
if you're too sensitive for this question, then just stick with favorite color
Additionally, it allows someone who doesn't work to avoid feeling like they have to explain themselves, and then they can move the conversation in any direction they want.
This article also suggests that only Americans ask these types of questions, as though in other countries talking to somebody consists entirely of "What's your favorite color?"
It's a question to get to know someone better. A way to look for other jumping-off points. Like oh you're a dentist? My uncle's a dentist! Or wow, do you like being a dentist, etc...
Just a way to be friendly, keep the ball rolling. That sort of thing.
If this question is in your arsenal of "openers" please, get rid of it.
I don't like talking about my work. I am a private person. (yep I do work, though. Myssteerious isn't it? I don't care. My business. Not yours.)
sounds like you're doing everyone else a favor then, atomizer. bet you're a blast to hang out with!
So is that any better/personal/offensive?
I used to do alumni interviews of high school students applying to my alma mater. I would never ask about their achievement test scores, their grades, or their course load. Because once I knew the answers to those questions I would be predisposed to have a positive or negative opinion of the candidate, and my role as an alumni interviewer was to find out about the kid as a person, not as a resume - which the admissions office already had.
It was harder work, finding out what they were like as PEOPLE. But - more interesting, ultimately.
My mom grooms dogs clearly she likes animals, my brother in law is and electrician and is great at working with his hands, my best friend works in a bank and as kids she would add the tax before checking out just to see if she could get it right.
You can learn a lot about someone by asking what they do for a living.
Actually I think asking any question at all is more about showing an interest in somebody. Which is a good thing. When I was travelling around the states a few years ago I found that in most places the first question after "how are you doing?" was to ask where I was from. Maybe that was prompted by my accent. Usually when I answered I'd be asked for a more specific location, but I remember in Wichita one teenager asked where I was from and when I told him he just nodded in a satisfied way and said "I *knew* you were from out of town!"