Conan the Professor

What did Conan the Barbarian do after he's too old to go destroyin' things? Why, he went on to become a Professor of Hyborian Studies and Tyrant Slaying at the Trinity College Dublin, Ireland, of course. From MSNBC

Trinity College in Dublin was spoofed Thursday when an unknown prankster posted an academic profile of its newest English lecturer: a certain Conan T. Barbarian, complete with Hollywood mug shot of a shirtless, sword-clad Arnold Schwarzenegger in his maiden film role.

Trinity removed the parody site — but not before dozens of fans had archived the Web page of the mock biography and turned it into an Irish viral sensation.

Trinity spokeswoman Caoimhe Ni Lochlainn said the university had never had its Web site disrupted like this before. She confirmed that Trinity was certain it was an inside job, not the work of a hacker.

Here's the description of Prof. Conan T. Barbarian (thank goodness for Google cache!):

Dr Conan T. Barbarian, B.A.(Cimmeria) Ph.D. (UCD). F.T.C.D.

Long Room Hub Associate Professor in Hyborian Studies and Tyrant Slaying.

Dr Conan T. Barbarian was ripped from his mother’s womb on the corpse-strewn battlefields of his war-torn homeland, Cimmeria, and has been preparing for academic life ever since. A firm believer in the dictum that “that which does not kill us makes us stronger,” he took time out to avenge the death of his parents following a sojourn pursuing his strong interest in Post-Colonial theory at the Sorbonne. In between, he spent several years tethered to the fearsome “Wheel of Pain”, time which he now feels helped provide him with the mental discipline and sado-masochistic proclivities necessary to sucessfully tackle contemporary critical theory. He completed his PhD, entitled “To Hear The Lamentation of Their Women: Constructions of Masculinity in Contemporary Zamoran Literature” at UCD and was appointed to the School of English in 2006, after sucessfully decapitating his predecessor during a bloody battle which will long be remembered in legend and song. In 2011/12, he will be teaching on the following courses: “The Relevance of Crom in the Modern World”, “Theories of Literature”, “Vengeance for Beginners”, “Deciphering the Riddle of Steel” and “D.H. Lawrence”. He strongly objects to the terms of the Croke Park agreement and the current trend for remaking 1980s films that he believes were perfectly good enough in the first place.

He is happy to hear from potential research students with an interest of any of these topics, but applicants should note that anyone found guilty of academic misconduct or weakness in the face of the enemy will be crucified as an example to the others.


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Conan wasn't Arnold's 'maiden' film role - it was Hercules in New York in 1969, followed up by The Long Goodbye and Stay Hungry with Jeff Bridges and Sally Field. Conan made him a star, though he also won a Golden Globe Award for Best Acting Debut in a Motion Picture for Stay Hungry.
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